chapter song - who by Lauv ft. bts
"Okay, so, is it weird to go to a club alone and maybe end up bringing a girl home?"
Kyle is silent on the other end.
I kick my feet up onto the armrest of the couch where I'm lounging; grey sweatpants and t-shirt being my basic dress style since the accident. The TV plays in the background but I don't really listen - it's been about four days since I arrived in Canada and I'm already getting cabin fever from being cooped up alone.
"I mean like," I try again. "Is it...creepy? Or is it ok? Like socially acceptable?"
"I don't know, man," Kyle says. "I mean, I guess? I'm sure people go to clubs alone when they're on vacation, right? They can't be spending the whole time alone. But, are you really wanting to randomly hook up with someone? Didn't you want time for yourself?"
"No," I sigh. "You guys want me to take time for myself. I've told you all that I don't want to do that. I spent most of college and the years after working all the time. And then when I was about to get my big break, I only got to go out and let go a couple times. I've been stuck in my head for years, Kyle. I'm tired of being alone. And if one night with a hot girl will change that, then I will grab onto it.
Kyle sighs. "Alright, alright. I know. I just worry, you know that."
"Yeah, I know grandad," I say and can already see Kyle rolling his eyes. "I'm not sure how successful I'm gonna be out there without my favourite wing man."
"Wing man?" Kyle scoffs. "I rarely went out with you. If you can remember, Ty, you were the big-shot football player and I was stuck with my thick rimmed prescription glasses because I couldn't afford new ones which made me look nerdy. Being a computer science major didn't help that."
"Are you still crying over your parents calling you a nerd?" I ask.
There's silence. "...No."
"Fucking liar."
"Fine," Kyle huffs. "Then yes, I think it's creepy and predatory to go to a club by yourself to get a girl."
"Kyle!" I snap.
He laughs on the other end. "You'll be fine. Go to a bar or a club, do whatever. Will it be awkward? I mean yeah, probably. Most people go to these places with friends. Or at least with a tinder date. Going alone and approaching women is going to come across as weird."
I sigh and shove my head into the pillow, letting Kyle laugh on speakerphone from the coffee table.
"Are you throwing a fit?" He asks.
"Shut up," I grumble, but it's muffled by the pillow so has less of an impact.
"Look, go to a bar maybe? Those are less weird to go to alone," he says. "Especially if you're just wanting to get some drinks."
"You know I don't care about alcohol," I say.
I turn over onto my back and the sun shines onto my arm, heating it up. The room is a little warm as the sun has been glaring in since morning. I don't bother putting the air conditioning on because the warmth is weirdly comforting even if at times it's feeling overbearing.
"So it's the sex?" Kyle splutters.
"No! I mean..." I cut myself off.
I honestly don't really know how to finish my words. I don't know why I'm so eager to just be around someone like an abandoned puppy. I don't know why I suddenly just need someone in my arms, and I'm too proud to say I wouldn't even care if it's just a hug, so admitting to sex is the next best thing.
"I don't know," I say honestly.
Kyle is quiet for a little bit. "Are you sure going to Canada alone was a good idea?"
"Yes," I say. "Maybe...no, yes. It was. You know how I felt about it. I needed to finally be able to breathe for once, Kyle. And you know I couldn't do it there. I couldn't stand being home."
"I just think maybe you should have gone somewhere further away. I know you didn't want to spend more money because income won't be high anymore, but you could have gone off to a beach somewhere with girls with accents."
I laugh. "Come on, you know that's not my style."
"Says the guy that's about to go clubbing alone to pick up a date for the night," Kyle says. "You might think you're all humble and sweet but you've got an arrogant streak, Ty. Someone's gonna tear it down one day."
"Uh-huh." I roll my eyes. "Well it won't be tonight."
"Whatever you say," Kyle sighs. "Try not to get arrested for being creepy."
I burst out laughing. "Will you bail me out?"
Kyle chuckles on the other line and the sound makes me smile. "Alright, you animal, I'll message you some bars and clubs that are more on the low-key side and less likely to be weird to go to alone."
"See? Even when you're not here you're an amazing wingman."
***
I come out of my apartment, my nose wrinkling at my cologne that I had quickly thrown on before heading out. The apartment is dark as I leave it, the open blinds letting the city lights illuminate the living room in a gentle glow. But it is nothing compared to how dark the hallway is. As in completely pitch-black apartment from four white-lights that are placed on the ground every few feet. They give the hall an eerie glow and basically no visibility at all.
"What the fuck?" I whisper and put my phone's flashlight on, stumbling over to the elevators.
On reflex, my finger reaches for the down button before I catch sight of a piece of paper taped to one of the elevator doors. I squint before lifting my phone light up to the paper.
Attention residents,
There has been an outage in the line that runs the main lights and electrics in the hallways and elevators. We have contacted the hydro company and are hoping this will be fixed by the morning. At this time, please do not use the elevators, and carefully use the stairs to enter and exit the building. Individual units should still have working power. If there is an outage in your apartment, please contact me.
Take care,
Roy Chester, Landlord.
I scoff. Kyle and his shitty apartment above a crappy coffee shop. Of course the quaint charm of the place would have a consequence such as no light. And now I'm going to have to climb up all those stairs to get back home when the night is done.
I look back at my apartment door, questioning whether I should just take a shower and go to bed. Surely this is too much energy and effort for a night out. Aren't these things supposed to be relaxing? I feel like I'm planning an entire baby shower for someone.
I open my messaging app and glare down at Kyle's stupid profile picture smiling back at me.
Tyler: I'm sorry, is NO POWER a frequent issue in this building??
Kyle: huh. I didn't think it was going to go out so soon. Usually I get a good few weeks before the hydro company falls through.
Tyler: so this does happen frequently?! I'm gonna fucking kill you. Do you know how many stairs I have to walk up to get home?
Kyle: Wait a minute. Is a FOOTBALL PLAYER complaining about climbing up what? Six? Seven flights of stairs?
Tyler: shut up I'm the one complaining here
Kyle: my god, you really are a five year old
Tyler: >:(
I hold my phone out so the light can illuminate the hallway and sigh. There is absolutely no way this stupid night out at a stupid low-key club is in any way worth my time. Or the stairs.
I mean, if I think about this critically, I am an injured millionaire that almost spent all their money before retiring. I really shouldn't be going out at all.
But fuck it.
I am going to drink my damn soda and get laid.
My Uber driving pulls up to the curb a few minutes after I order one on my phone. I look at the pouch attached to the back of the seat in front of me and smile slightly at the packs of chips and gum. There is a little note that says "please take one".
After being dropped off round the corner from the club, getting in is strangely not as awkward or difficult as I previously thought. They probably think I'm going to be getting bottle service if I'm walking in alone but this is not a trip where I'm blowing all my money on one night out.
Did enough of that before.
A humble night of soda and music sounds nice.
God, when did I get so fucking wholesome?
I veer directly over to the bar and get a drink. It's dark and the lights are already making me feel dizzy but I guess that's just going to be my pseudo feeling of being drunk. There are a lot of people here and every few minutes , at least someone bumps into me or an arm brushes past me, luckily not into my botched shoulder or this will soon become a hilarious disaster.
It's been almost twenty minutes and a bunch of questionable conversations with perhaps slightly over eager women and one guy (which was quite flattering), when I hear a glass tip over and a curse get thrown out into the air.
I'm still at the bar so I turn in time to see a girl with dark hair flicking her hand around the air, trying to get the sticky drink off her from where a guy had stumbled back and knocked a glass over with his elbow.
I laugh a little and lean over. "You good?" I call out.
She flings her head back to look at the ceiling and I can tell she's annoyed as hell. "I'm doing just fantastic, thank you!"
She brings her head back down and looks at me. I can't really see her too well in the light but she's pretty, especially when her face suddenly lights up with a smile and she cocks her head to the side. Her eyes trail over the tattoos that are on show and then my biceps that press against my shirt.
I grin back.
"Actually I'm doing really good," she says. "Are you alone?"
I nod my head and her eyebrows raise. "Why the hell are you alone? This might be the liquid courage I swigged before coming here but you, you should not somehow be alone. Have the cougars not swiped you up already?"
"They tried," I say, lips twitching. "But don't put yourself down. I don't see a guy with you, which is making less sense to me the more I look at you."
She spits out a laugh. "Oh, that was weird. It was like kind of hot because you flirting with me is really hot. But it was also kind of funny because I'm drunk."
She bites her lip and stares at me for a moment and my eyebrows raise higher.
"What?" I ask, amused.
"Do you wanna..." She cocks her head towards the mass of bodies dancing to the music.
I look her over but for some reason my eyes just go back to her face, and there's this weird feeling of familiarity but it's too hard to see to act on it. Fuck, she's pretty.
I nod my head and take her hand. "Alright," I say. "Let's dance."
_________
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