Always down to ride for ya.
Through the thick,
And through the thin,
Know that I would die for ya.
TRINITY
The entire time I was getting ready, I was anxious. This was the first time I would be seeing or speaking to Shareef since I walked out that night.
He invited me to breakfast so we could talk. I'm having my 24 week appointment today and we were finally having the gender reveal the weekend so I didn't want things to be awkward between us.
I turned down the music as I drove through the neighborhood.
When I finally pulled up to the house, I took a deep breath before getting out. I grabbed my lipgloss out of the cup holder and walked up to the door. I rung the doorbell and patiently waited for him to open the door.
This man was looking and smelling good as hell. I could tell her had just got out the shower.
He opened the door wider so I could walk inside. I slid off my shoes and followed him into the kitchen.
He already had the plates fixed and sitting on the island.
"Go sit on the couch. I'll bring your plate to you."
I walked into the living room and sat on my signature spot on the couch and covered up in a blanket.
He handed me my plate and something to drink before coming to sit down as well.
We eat in an awkward silence while watching tv.
Once we were finished eating, he took both of our dishes back into the kitchen. I could hear the sound of him running the water to wash the dishes.
I continued to watch tv until he came back into the living room.
He sat down and pulled my legs onto his lap. He started massaging my feet.
"If I hadn't reached out to you, you wouldn't even be here right now."
"I didn't create the problem so I didn't attempt to fix it."
"So you don't think you leaving was doing too much?"
"So you don't think you should've had my back and understood where I was coming from?"
"Would you have kicked toot out?"
"No, but toota gone know better than to try mommy like that."
"You chose to be their "mom", too. Kids especially teenagers are disrespectful. You've been a teenager before. When you decided to raise them, you took all the parenting responsibilities and headaches that came with them. You can't just kick them out. They're not used to structure or discipline. They're not used to someone trying to allow them to communicate their feelings so they don't know how. They only know how to talk shit when they're upset because it's what they're used to. We're supposed to be raising them like our own so no, I wasn't about to let you kick Jalyn out. Just because you didn't birth them, doesn't mean your love for them gets to have conditions."
I didn't say anything because he had a point.
"You said you wanted better for them and sent them back to what you were trying to get them away from because they pissed you off."
"I don't do disrespect, Shareef. You know that. I'll cut a bitch off with the quickness over tryna play my character."
"These little girls aren't some home girls. They are your family, your "children". You have to teach them what is and isn't going to go in your household and it ain't gone happen overnight."
"So what are you saying?"
"I'm saying get them back and we'll do this parenting shit together because clearly your hot headed ass need some balance."
"So we're co-parenting?"
"Stop playing with me. I let you have your little fit so now, it's time for you to move your ass back in. We ain't gone be breaking up over fixable shit."
"Who daddy is you?"
"You already know the answer to that question."
I playfully rolled my eyes.
"That's probably why you acting like that. Whole time instead of being stubborn, you could've been getting some good dick."
I laughed.
"Go away. You just want some pussy."
"I mean it has been a minute."
-
I was so excited for this day that I could barely sleep. The gender reveal was supposed to had been weeks ago, but there has been a lot going on:
After Shareef and I decided that we wanted to still be together, we agreed to bring the girls back out here.
There was a whole lot of back and forth with that entire situation so the move and registering them back into their schools took longer than expected.
When they got here, we had to lay down the ground rules and I wanted to see if they would act accordingly because I wasn't about to be dealing with bullshit when the focus is supposed to be on the arrival of my baby.
By the time we finally cleared them to stay and agreed that this could work (the behavior is still a work in progress, but I can tell progress is being made), my birthday was approaching and I had to focus on figuring out what I was going to do.
I had made a plan of what I wanted to do for my birthday almost a year in advance, but I wasn't 6 months pregnant and raising teenagers back then.
There was going to be no flying out of the country, getting drunk, shaking ass, and spending hella money on unnecessary shit.
I decided to have go have a nice dinner so that I could dress up. Then, I hosted a big sleepover at the house. We watched movies, played games, and drank mocktails.
It wasn't my overseas trip I wanted, but I enjoyed myself.
Shareef surprised me with an Aston Martin DB11. The car definitely wasn't a family car, but we had two other 4 door cars to pack our family of soon to be 5 in.
-
Sitting the the nursery was my happy place. I was still in shock that I was going to be holding a baby in a short few months.
I kept trying to imagine different themes for the baby's room. Did I want something gender neutral? Did I want something more gender specific?
My mind was constantly racing awaiting to find out what the gender is. I strongly felt like the baby was a boy, but I didn't want to just start buying or planning the nursery theme around a baby boy. What if it was a girl?
The gender honestly didn't matter to me. I just want a healthy baby.
I was also trying to brainstorm names for the baby.
I'd think of a name and then try to imagine what the baby would look like. Did the name fit the baby I pictured? Did it sound right?
A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts.
"Come in."
Jalyn and Kairi came in and sat on the floor.
"It's almost that time."
"Yep."
"You excited?"
"Y'all have barely said more than three words at a time to me since y'all have been back so I know y'all didn't come in here for small talk. What's up?"
"Well, I came in here to apologize. I was just upset that day because even though, Jalyn has a bad attitude most of the time, she's still my baby sister. It was beyond me that you would just abandon her like that when you claim to love us."
"I love y'all to death but at the end of the day, I don't tolerate disrespect. She had pulled the last straw and I was fed up. I told y'all that I don't do all that back and forth because I fight. She's young as hell so I couldn't knock her the fuck out like I wanted to. I chose to kick her out my car and out my house to protect her. She had one more time to say something crazy and I was going to forget that she's 15. But after talking to Shareef, I could've handled it better because I am supposed to be the mother figure. Jalyn, I apologize for putting my hands on you."
"I apologize for how I spoke on you. That wasn't my place and my anger was not caused by you. I just projected it onto you. I have gotten myself together and I will not step out of line like that anymore."
"We just want you to have a stress free rest of your pregnancy."
"We see the foundation you are trying to create for the baby. You want tootabutt to have everything that you didn't growing up."
"We want to be apart of your new family so we can experience the same love and support that we also didn't have."
I opened my arms and we shared a group hug.
I love the girls, but the best apology is changed behavior. I was going to take the conversation with a grain of salt until the words matched the actions.
-
My mouth dropped when I walked into the venue. Renae and Zoey had truly out done themselves with my ice cream themed gender reveal party. Before you walked into the building, there was two large pink and blue ice cream cones and large banner that said what's the scoop? Once you got inside, the tables were decorated with pink and blue tie dye table cloths with bouquet centerpieces made to look like ice cream cones. There was a board for you to write your name on a scoop of ice cream and attach it to the colored cone that matched the gender you predicted the baby would be. There was an ice cream sundae bar as well as a cake, cupcakes, and cookies that were decorate in the spirit of the theme. They also had made goodie bags for the guests and had a full buffet. It honestly looked like a baby shower.
I went through the room, hugging and greeting the guests.
In the pit of my stomach, I was kind of sad because the room was 99% filled with Shareef's family and friends. It was fine though because I know for sure that tootabutt will have all the love and support he/she needs from Shareef's people.
After I finished speaking to everyone, I signed my scoop and placed it on the blue cone. Then, I fixed my plate and sat down at the table to eat.
My eyes lit up at the sight of meatballs. Meatballs, sausage dip, and cheese cubes are my love language.
After I ate, I grabbed a large cup of punch and helped myself to the dessert bar. This was a pregnant woman's dream.
"Can I have tootabutt's mama and daddy come up on the stage?"
I got up from the table, taking my plate and drink with me.
"So we're going to play three games before we do the actual reveal. The first is a bingo game that should be sitting in front of you. Y'all are going to have to be a little social and get to know each other if y'all don't know each other already."
"You will find a person that matches the description in the box and they will sign that box. The first person to get bingo with 5 squares will get a prize. The only rules are that you cannot use the same person more than once and you cannot use yourself, Trinity, or Shareef."
"Are y'all ready?"
I watched the heads in the crowd nod.
"Okay. Go!"
I kept eating while I watched everyone mingle.
"BINGO!"
"Alright, Shaqir. Come up here so we can check your sheet."
He walked on the stage and handed Zoey the paper. She heals it down so all four us to check over the answers.
Is left-handed: Janet
Can change a tire: Shaq
FREE SPACE
Is wearing earrings: Renae
Favorite color is blue: Kairi
"Looks like we have a winner!"
Zoey handed Shaqir a bag. He opened it and the gift was a $100 gift card.
He hugged them before going to sit back at his seat.
"Our next game also requires guest participation, but this game is solely about the parents."
"We'll ask 10 questions. For the first 5, two people get to answer each question, but you cannot have the same answer. After both parties answer, Shareef and Trinity will confirm if one of the answers are correct. Whoever get the right answer, gets a $25 gift card. If the neither answer is correct, Trinity or Shareef will give the right answer. For the last 5, only one person can answer and if the answer is correct, you get a gift card."
How did they meet?
• Instagram
• Last summer in Chick-Fil-A
"We met Spring Break of 2020 at a club in Miami."
How long have they been together?
• A year and a half
• 6 months
"Both answers are technically right so give them both a gift card."
How many children do they want?
• 4
• 2 - correct
What's Trinity's middle name? Members of her family cannot answer this question.
• Janet - correct
• London
What is their favorite thing to do together? Please be appropriate.
• Watch movies - correct
• Cook
"Y'all know Shareef can't do no real cooking."
Who asked for a first date?
• Shareef - correct
Did they think they were pregnant before finding out?
• Yes
"No, I was as surprised as it gets. I was actually trying to get on birth control when I found out."
Who cried when they found out?
• Trinity - correct
Who will cry first after the baby is born?
• Trinity - correct
"Wow. Not y'all think I'm a cry baby."
"We didn't say Shareef wouldn't cry, but you'll definitely have the water works going first."
What's Trinity's biggest craving?
• Doughnut burgers with cucumbers. - correct
"The last game is Old Wives Tales. According to the scoops on the board, the majority of y'all think the baby is a boy. We are going to use this game to see what the baby is likely to be based on the results."
GIRL BOY
Severe Morning Sickness Mild
> 140 Baby's Heart Rate < 140
High Carrying the Baby Low
Sweet Mom's Cravings Salty
Right Sleeps on.. Left
No Headaches Yes
Moody Attitude Happy
No Heartburn Yes
Girl Chinese calendar Boy
Girl Mayan calendar Boy
Gain Dad's weight Maintain
Girl Mom's guess Boy
Girl Dad's guess Boy
"According to the Old Wives Tales, tootabutt is a boy."
"If y'all are ready to find out if toota is a boy or girl, head outside."
Shareef and I held hands as we followed the crowd outside. We weaved through the crowd so that we were in the front.
"Mom and dad, I want y'all to turn so that your back is facing the crowd."
"Now, I need y'all to stay quiet even after y'all see the color until their blindfolds have come off so y'all don't spoil it."
They put on our blindfolds.
"We're going to countdown from 5 and then, y'all can remove the blindfolds."
"5."
"4."
"3."
"2."
"1."
I took off my blindfold and I was surrounded in pink smoke. My jaw dropped and tears started to fall.
Shareef pulled me into a hug and gave me a kiss.
"We're having a little girl!"
After we pulled away from our hug, everyone else started hugging us and telling us congratulations.
I was still crying and the tears were falling faster than I could wipe them.
"She's going to be beautiful."
"And she's going to be so spoiled."
I hugged Renae and Zoey.
"Thank y'all for everything."
"Anything for our girls."
-
Shareef's mom and sisters pulled me into a group hug.
"I'm having a niece! I told y'all it was a girl."
"It didn't matter to me. I just can't wait for her to get here. She's gone be my side kick."
"I wasn't expecting it, but I'm excited that my first grand baby is a little girl."
Shaqir came and rubbed my stomach.
"I was hoping for a boy, but she's still gone be one of the rawest female basketball players out here. Uncle Qir gone get her right."
"Her grandad and dad are better players so she's gone be good regardless."
"Man, I'm the best shooter!"
"What if she doesn't wanna play basketball?"
"Daddy's going to support in whatever she chooses to do."
-
"Girl or boy, I just want y'all to have a healthy baby. Once she gets here, she is going to be surrounded by so much love. Congratulations once again. This is one of the biggest blessings y'all will ever receive."
"Thank you so much."
I gave him a hug.
"Thanks, dad."
-
Once I had completely gotten myself together, I grabbed everyone's attention.
"First of all, I want to thank baby girl's god mothers for putting this day together. This was beautiful. Trinity and I are very grateful. I also want to thank all our family and friends for something out today. I had a good time and I hope y'all did, too."
"Like Shareef said, great big thanks to my best friends for putting this together and thank y'all for coming."
I took a deep breath.
"I'm still in shock. It honestly didn't matter what the sex of the baby was, I just want a healthy baby. I just was expecting this little baby to be a boy, but I am so excited to be having a little girl. She will be here in less than 4 months and I cannot wait to hold her in my arms."
I looked down and rubbed my stomach, "Don't rush your way out though. Bake as long as you need".
"This is so surreal. I remember feeling her kick for the first time. Shareef's hand was on my stomach, but he was asleep. I remember thinking to myself: Wow. I'm bringing another human being into this world. And if y'all know me, y'all know this baby means everything to me. She was made and will be raised by two parents that love her. She has a wonderful family that is going to love her. She will be brought into this world surrounded by love and support and I'm so grateful for that, so grateful for y'all."
I turned and faced Shareef. I grabbed his hands.
"And you. I'm so grateful for you. I prayed so many nights for a wonderful man who would love me and my past in the present and future. God really showed out when he made you and I truly believe He made you for me. You are an amazing man, an amazing partner. I know you'll be an amazing father and our daughter is so lucky. I love you so much and if I don't tell you enough, I appreciate you and everything you do."
He pulled me into a hug and gave me a kiss. When we pulled apart, I watched him pull something out of his pocket. My jaw dropped and everyone gasped as he dropped down on one knee.
"I've been carrying this ring around almost everyday for the past few months, trying to figure out the perfect way to do this. What better moment than this one? We are surrounded by family and friends."
I accepted the tissue from Amirah and blotted away my tears. I had already been crying so I did want to risk my lashes falling off. It was the only thing that was going to hold this makeup look together because I was sure the rest of my face was a mess.
"When I met you, I fell for you because of how open minded you are. As I've gotten to know you, I've seen how selfless and transparent you are. I love that you don't allow your past to define you because you are secure in yourself.
Even though your security can sometimes cause you to be stubborn, I love you.
When you're not with me, I pray that you're safe and that you'll be brought safely back to me. Now more than ever because you're carrying our daughter and I know how much this experience and this baby means to you.
I've watched you go through so many things and emotions these past few months and you've handled most of them very well. I personally probably couldn't walk in your shoes or be as strong as you are. You're an admirable woman and our daughter is lucky to have you as her mother. I'd be even luckier to have you as my wife.
Will you marry me?"
The tears were falling so quickly. I was so emotional that I wasn't even trying to wipe my face carefully anymore. I was wipe my face to make sure nobody could see the snot coming from my nose. That's how hard I was crying.
I was so tore up that I couldn't even talk so I just nodded.
He slid the ring on my finger before standing up. He scooped me up off the ground and into a hug.
When he put me down, we shared a kiss.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
We went through another round of hugs and congratulations.
"What better way than to share this moment with people who love and support us? I want to give another big thank you to everyone for coming out to the gender reveal. I hope that I will see all of you at the baby shower and the wedding. We love y'all!"
After the guests cleared out, I helped with cleaning up the venue. As I was packing up the desserts, Shareef's mom come over to me.
"Can I talk to you outside?"
I nodded and followed her outside.
"I remember Shareef was scared out of his mind when he found out you were pregnant. He wasn't sure he would be able to be the man that you or the baby needs.
In the last few months, I've watched Shareef evolve into a responsible grown man. He makes sure he is able to make it to every appointment. He makes sure that you and the girls are always straight.
I don't see that same fear in his eyes. When I look at him, I see nothing but the love he has for his new family.
When he asked me to go ring shopping with him, I kept asking him if he was sure that this was what he wanted to do. I didn't want him to feel entitled to propose because y'all are having a baby.
He looked at me and told me that he always felt that you were the one and when y'all finally spent an adequate amount of time together, he knew you were the one.
I can tell the way he looks at you and cares for you that he genuinely loves you. I watch the way you are with him, the way you look at him and I know you genuinely love him, too.
I've always been worried about Shareef and the rest of my children being stuck with someone who was only interested the clout that comes with the name. I don't see that with you and I'm so glad.
I'm glad y'all love each other and I pray that y'all stay together because this baby will change things. For some people, it happens for the better and some it happens for the worse.
Even when times get hard, don't walk away. Y'all will butt heads because y'all are still in the stages of getting to know each other. It will be okay.
If the love is real, y'all can work through it especially if they are issues that are fixable. Y'all have a good thing. Y'all have found true love so quickly and that is rare. Y'all come from two different worlds, but y'all balance each other out so well.
I said all of that to say that I already had this conversation with Shareef and y'all have my blessing. Congratulations again on the engagement and my grand baby. Welcome to the family, Trinity."
We shared a hug before going back into the venue.
-
I decided to go grocery shopping since we were having extra guests in the house. Mama and Amirah were staying at the house to help with the finishing of the decor and organization in the nursery. Me'Arah was staying at the house just because she likes to spend time with us. Shaqir was staying at the house just because he wants to spend time with Kairi.
With 4 extra mouths combined with the 3 that already eat everything in sight, I definitely needed to go grocery shopping. Me'Arah and Kairi decided they wanted to tag along which was great because one buggy was not going to do the job.
When we got home, I sent for the boys to grab the groceries from the car. As they brought them in, me and the girls were putting them up.
After the groceries were put up, me and mama started on dinner.
I had been craving homemade chicken alfredo and a hefty as salad with the good ranch. My mouth was salivating thinking about the food as I was cooking.
Once the food was done, we had everyone wash their hands before coming to the dinner table.
After blessing the food, we all started fixing our plates. I was in heaven eating my food. I really fucking did that with this pasta.
-
After cleaning up and doing the dishes from dinner, I was exhausted. I had been on my feet all day and I was ready to lay down so I went ahead and did my good night rounds.
Amirah, Jalyn, and Me'Arah were in the living room watching a movie. I hugged them all from behind.
"Good night, ladies. I love y'all."
"Good night. Love you too!"
I walked to mama's room and cracked the door.
"Good night, mama. Love you too."
"Love you too, sweetheart."
I walked upstairs and past our bedroom to Kairi's. I opened the door and pulled it back closed. I walked back down the hall.
Shareef was in the shower. I stripped and hopped in the shower with him.
After we washed our bodies, we just held each other and let the water run on us until the water started to get cold. After we got out the shower, we dried off and he helped me lotion my body. I slipped on a pair of Shareef's boxers and one of his bigger shirts before heading back out the room.
"Where you going?"
"I gotta talk to Kairi about something real quick. I'll be back."
I walked out of our bedroom and back down the hall.
"Please have clothes on this time."
I opened the door and Kairi was sitting on the edge of the bed with her face in her hands.
"Aht aht. Text Shaqir ass and tell him to come back in here."
She looked at me with a sad expression.
"I ain't gone chew y'all asses out. I'm too tired for allat. This baby getting heavy and I'm ready to go lay down."
Shaqir walked in the room, avoiding eye contact with me.
"First of all, both of y'all's feet should've been on the floor, but it's a little late for that talk.
I'm not here to preach about not having sex because I know that shit gone go in one ear and out the other, but please use protection.
That's not me encouraging sex at all, but if you're going to do it, use protection.
Kairi, now that you're having sex, I will be getting you on birth control.
Now, y'all go to bed in separate rooms. And no, I won't run and tell nobody about this. Good night. I love y'all."
"Good night. Love you too."
"Good night. Love you too."
I followed Shaqir out of Kairi's room and closed the door. I shook my head as I walked back into my bedroom. They were like watching me and Shareef all over again.
I crawled into the bed and up under Shareef.
It was getting harder to get comforter when I slept, but I could never get tired of laying up under Shareef.