ONE AFTERNOON in the Hufflepuff common room, after a day of exhausting classes, Debbie and I sit at one of the tables to study and read. She's working on a potions essay and I borrow a book from one of the shelves, but I'm not paying attention because Debbie keeps talking.
"So I asked him for Valentines weekend." She continues.
"Oh, really? What're you gonna do?"
"Not sure yet." She shrugs and flips the parchment. "What about you? Fancy anyone?"
"Yes, actually." I flip the page without retaining any information.
"Lucky guy." She smirks at me and I smile slightly at her, wondering if she's gonna ask who it is, but she just goes back to talking about Sirius. I frown when her gaze drops back to her writing.
"Are you not curious?" I interrupt and she looks back at me.
"Well, I figure you'd tell me." She dismisses and I can't tell if she actually wants to know, I get a little annoyed so I unintentionally blurt it out.
"Sirius." I say. "It's Sirius."
She looks up at me with raised eyebrows, still hunched over the parchment and quill in her hand. I hope my face doesn't convey the regret I feel at my words.
Helga, how awful can I be? Admitting to fancying my friend's boyfriend!
"You have the hots for Black?" She asks, speaking in a monotone voice.
I nod tentatively, my grip a little tighter on the book in my hands. Why does she still call him Black?
"Huh," she goes, "cute."
And she drops her head to continue working on her essay. I stare at her in slight disbelief. Cute? What does that mean?
I don't know if it's just an acknowledgement or condescending, but I do know that I need some air before I suffocate on my own stupidity. I put the book down and make the excuse that I remembered Remus asked me to meet him. I can't tell if she buys it, but Debbie doesn't lift her head up as she tells me goodbye and I walk out of the common room.
My shoes pad across the corridor as I wander aimlessly, not knowing where to go or who to go to. I'm not even sure if I want to see anyone. But I don't get to make that decision as I see Sirius on his way towards the Hufflepuff common room while I'm making my way away from it.
My immediate thought is that he's going to go see Debbie, so I leave him be but he speaks anyway,
"I was just going to see you." He says with a smile.
"Me?" I clarify and he nods.
He's wearing his leather jacket but holding his old corduroy one and I'm confused.
"What's happening?" I ask.
I look around to see if I could find Remus or the others, but there's no one in my sight as I turn back to Sirius.
"Smoke?" He asks and I think for a second.
The thought of me hanging out with Sirius right after the conversation with Debbie should make me feel guilty - I mean they're going 'round, it's all said and done - but it's just so natural to go for a smoke with him now that I nod. He tosses me the jacket he's holding and I catch it, realizing that he brought it for me so I wouldn't be cold. I blush at the thought, but put it on over my crop top anyway and follow him out.
"That's new." He moves his pocketed hand and I look down to where he's pointing at my new belly button piercing.
"Got it over the break." I say, pulling his jacket a bit tighter around me.
"Any reason?"
I think back to the night of the ball when Debbie mentioned getting one, and then her veiled distaste when I came back from break with it.
"Debbie brought it up and... I don't know, I liked the idea so I did it." I look up at him and he nods in understanding, still watching my stomach.
"I like it." He looks me in the eyes and I feel the heat in my cheeks again.
"Desdemona, just the person we need!" A male voice calls from the direction Sirius and I are walking in. I see Des and Henry and wave at them.
"What's up, Des?" I greet and the boy shrugs.
"Bit of a bummer, actually," he says as we approach them, "Nick's finally kicked the bucket so we're one bag short."
"Say what?" I gape and Sirius has a confused look on his face, clearly not looped in. "Sometimes Iman has her Slytherin friends over for the night, so Debbie, Janie, and I stay in the guys dorm."
That doesn't clear up who Nick is, but Sirius nods his head to show he's following along.
"Reckon two of you will have to share a sleeping bag tonight. Don't have any other ideas." Henry apologizes and Desmond agrees.
"Wait, tonight?" Sirius asks and I nod. It must have slipped my mind, because Iman did tell us yesterday. "Why don't you just sleep in our dorm? You can stay with Remus."
"Oh?" I ask, knowing immediately that that's a bad idea, and he nods. I turn to Des and Henry in hopes for an excuse, but they just shrug and I'm forced to bullshit on the spot. "I don't want to kill the buzz."
Sirius raises an eyebrow at me as if I'm speaking a foreign tongue. But I'm pretty sure I'm speaking English, I'm not that nervous that I messed up my languages. And it's not like I can just tell the truth that I don't think Debbie would like me spending the night in Sirius' dorm.
Or, maybe I can, and just make sure it's not in English.
"Really, Des?" He laughs slightly. "You're staying with us tonight. No objections."
~*~
I don't tell Debbie I'm staying in Remus' room, I let Jane know though, so if she wants to find out where I'll be she can ask. I don't invite her either, half because it's not my place to invite, and half because there's a reason I'm staying in a different dorm than the one she's in. I hope I'm not being too dramatic, and I hope I'm not being a complete bitch. I reassure myself by reminding myself that Remus is my best friend, we have sleepovers together and this is nothing different.
My pyjamas are stuffed into a bag, along with some records and my toothbrush. I decide to bring my phonograph, remembering Sirius wanted to hear it, so I make sure to pack the KISS album. I'm embarrassed to admit that only after I drag it through the dorm hallways and out of the common room do I remember I'm a witch and there's a first year level charm that makes things levitate.
I was told the entrance to Gryffindor was behind a portrait of a lady, but I don't remember which. Luckily, the lady whose dress I'm complimenting turns out to be the one, as James comes up behind me and says the password, she lets us both in.
"The stairs turn into a slide if a boy steps foot on the girls side, but I don't know what happens if you do for the guys." He says right before I move to walk up.
Hesitantly, I place my foot on the first step, and when the stairs remain stairs, we continue the rest of the way to their room. The layout is different than Hufflepuffs, but the four poster beds are the same. The farthest bed is empty, which I'm guessing is Peters because he's the only person not in the room. James moves to his bed, which is next and decorated with Quidditch teams and equipment. Sirius' bed is aggressively muggle - he has posters of cars and bands all around. And finally, Remus, who has a picture of the four of them, a picture of us two, a chart with the phases of the moon for the year, and a crayon drawing my little sister gave him last time he visited. It has Remus, me and her, with our names messily scribbled underneath in her five-year-old handwriting.
I'm about to comment on it when he screams at me.
"Merlin's beard, what is that!" He waves to my stomach and I bite my cheek to stop from smiling.
"Oh," I try to act unfazed. "You dig?"
"Who let you do that?" He demands and I stop hiding my grin.
"Lorraine." I walk over to his bed, dropping my bag on top of it.
"Who's Lorraine?" James asks.
"Step mum." Remus kicks me off his bed when I try to sit and I gasp at him when I land on the floor. "You're not staying with me, Hippie."
I laugh at him but get back up and go to James, who asks to see.
"Where's Peter?" I say, sitting on the edge of his bed while James takes his stomach beside me.
"Detention." He says. "Wasn't as slick as us."
"Why'd you bring records?" Remus pipes up, taking them out of my bag.
"Bogus, my player!" I look at Sirius, who is the reason I brought it. "I left it in your common room."
Sirius perks up at this and in an instant he's up and out of the dorm. A minute later he comes back, holding the player with a much better grace than I do, a wide grin on his face.
Playing KISS, I see the awe on his face, guessing that he's never heard a phonograph before. I show him how it works as James and Remus start stripping the sheets and blankets off the beds to make a comfortable spot on the floor around the player. Since they weren't prepared for me to come over, they make a giant makeshift bed (using Peter's sheets as well, so when he joins us he has a spot too), and we all lay down listening to the music and talking.
As I switch the side of Led Zeppelin II (a record I stole from my dad) and What Is and What Should Never Be starts to play, Sirius breaks off on a new tangent.
"I need advice." He admits and I settle back in my place between him and Remus (who forgives me for the piercing).
"Shoot." James is nearly hypnotized by the spinning record.
"A girl asked me out for Valentines day." He says and in a second I know it's Debbie and my heart sinks.
"You've already got a girl." James inquires and Sirius nods.
"So you've said yes to her." I say without thought, slightly bitter but I hope they don't notice.
"Well, I-"
"Then what's the problem? We know you've got a thing with Debbie." Remus adds.
Sirius gives me an uneasy look and I'm not sure why.
"What?" I ask, staring directly into his guilty looking eyes.
"Well I haven't said anything." He goes. "I don't really think I fancy her."
My eyes nearly bulge out of my head and I sit up in shock.
"You've been snogging her." I snap at him.
"Ew." Remus mutters under his breath but I ignore him.
"I'm sorry, Des, but I don't think I wanna go 'round with her anymore." He apologizes and I shake my head because I'm not the one he should be saying sorry to.
"I can see why." James offers after a couple quiet seconds. "She's not very sweet."
"Hey!" I say because she's still my friend, even though he's right.
"I hope you say no, Padfoot." Remus is quick to add and I give up.
"S'why I need advice." Sirius says and I lay back down because I'm the only one sitting up.
I cross my arms over my chest.
"How to break it off?" James questions and Sirius shakes his head, staring at the ceiling.
"Nah, just an excuse to get out of Valentine's Day."
"You're not gonna break it off?" I accuse and he looks at me.
"Think I'm just gonna wait it out." He says and I drop my jaw at him.
I turn my head away from him, not knowing what else to say. It's hard for me to believe that Sirius doesn't fancy Debbie, not when she is the way she is: pretty, confident, Debbie.
It's even harder to lay here and listen to how he doesn't fancy her when I know how much she likes him.
"Oh." Is all I can whisper.
Debbie is gonna hate me.