Warning: Some self-victim/slut shaming + start of a suicide attempt going on in here. Skip this chapter if this is too much for you. Just another emotional monologue here.
YiHan's breath came out in panicked bursts. He sort of remembered what happened. He was the one who kissed JingYuan. He was the one who pounced into JingYuan's embrace while wearing nothing. It was he who tried to strip JingYuan. When JingYuan lost control and went all out for him, he was the one who actively curled his arms and thighs around JingYuan!
So currently, what's going on now was after JingYuan announced his engagement with his sister, YiHan went bed-rolling with his own brother-in-law and he was the one who seduced the other!
Why did this happen? Why isn't it a dream? Bai YiHan, you ruined your sister's marriage with JingYuan last time. You finally had a chance to start over, yet the wrongs you did were worse than last time!
Why is it like this? Are you that much of a slut? Do you crave it that much? You actually did that! How will you face your sister? Your parents? What would you say to...JingYuan who might wake up the very next moment?
When JingYuan woke up and realised he had relations with his future brother-in-law, just how angry and disgusted would he be? How would he look at you?
Think back on his reaction when you confessed to him in your past life!
As expected, your existence is just a nightmare for your relatives. You are the one person who least deserved to exist in this world!
Aaaaah! Why won't you disappear? You're died once. Why must you come back? Why do you still want to destroy your sister's relationship with JingYuan? A dirty and foolish moron like you should just go to hell! Take this disgusting body with you and just go to hell! Why are you still alive? Why won't you die?
YiHan's eyes went wide. His chest frantically rose and fell. Static overwhelmed his mind, as if there were dozens of people just screaming into his ears at once. His face went deathly pale. He was drenched in cold sweat. His wide eyes dulled. His lips quivered. He agreed with the voice in his mind: yes, my existence is a disaster upon my family. I shouldn't be alive. I should die. If I wasn't here, everything will be perfect...
He pushed away his blanket with trembling hands and sat up. The burning sensation from his lower body and waist made him broke out in another round of cold sweat. As if he couldn't feel it at all, he stumbled into a standing position and shuffled over to his closet. He put on a long sleeping robe. He can't keep standing around naked. It's too revolting. Too disgusting to look at. He must cover it up.
He carefully tied the robe close and walked into the bathroom. JingYuan had cleaned up inside. There was not a single sign of what happened last night. YiHan swept his dull eyes across the bathroom counters but didn't find what he wanted, so he walked out again. He drifted around the room like a lost soul before he found what he needed.
He walked straight for the table and grabbed an empty bottle from it. With a hard swing, he smashed it against the edge of the table. The exquisitely crafted bottle shattered with a loud crash. He picked up the largest shard and slashed it down at his pulsing arteries.
JingYuan had been on the ready for anything to happen last night and he'd had to do some "hard work", then he had a few rounds with his own hand at dawn due to the insatiable urge he couldn't push down, plus he had to discuss future plans with XueQing. By the time he arrived back in the bedroom, fatigue hit him hard. He held his beloved little one close and drifted off into a sweet dream. Perhaps it was because he was too comfortable, he slept deeply. Even the noises YiHan made as he woke up and shambled around the room didn't wake JingYuan. Until he was startled by a sharp crash.
The first thing he did when he opened his eyes was to look at his little one. He was afraid YiHan would be frightened by the sudden noise. When he realised he was the only on the bed, he looked up and a shocking sight petrified him!