╲⠀╲⠀╲ ╲
⠀⠀╲⠀╲⠀☆⠀ ╲⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀☆⠀╲⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ★
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april 1859
"Fuck!"
This was the first thing that John could register in the morning. The bright sun spilled through the curtained windows, causing the prince to groan and bury his head further into the thick head of hair in front of him.
"John! Wake up, git!" A familiar voice hissed in his ear, hand shaking his shoulder slightly, causing the boy in question to slowly open his eyes, blinking hazily as his vision adjusted to the light.
Paul was sitting up next to him in bed, trying to wake him while looking dishevelled, hickeys dark against the pale skin of his neck and chest ( a sight John could absolutely get used to), but distressed.
"Whazzit? C'back 'ere, love..." John slurred with a husky voice and pulled the younger back into his arms, relishing the feeling of wrapping his arms around the sable-haired boy's stomach, wanting nothing more than to just be wrapped up in each other's arms for a little while longer, inhaling deeply Paul's comforting scent of vanilla and rosemary as sleep began to take its hold on the older again.
"John! I can't- I fuckin' forgot about me curfew!" Paul pulled away from his touch again to leap out of bed, dashing all over the place to collect his things as quickly as possible. "I stayed the bloody night here with ye, da's literally gonna cut me 'ead off!"
John watched him with half-lidded eyes from the bed, sleepiness still tugging on the ends of his vision but slowly beginning to wake up more. He grabbed his round-shaped glasses off of his bedside table and slipped them on, vision focussing fully and everything coming into view with much higher definition.
"Ah, fuck.. forgot 'bout tha'." John coughed slightly and reached to light up his pipe, taking a long puff. "Ya gonna go?" His heart sunk slightly at that. He wished they could just stay like this forever, curled up together in bed. He hoped secretly that Paul wouldn't leave..
"Johnny.." Paul turned around to look at him sadly before moving to sit on the bed beside him. He interlaced their fingers and squeezed the older's hand. "m sorry. I wouldn't leave if I could.. I have ta go." He gazed at him with a warm smile before leaning to connect their lips briefly, John reaching up to card his hand through Paul's dishevelled hair. Pulling away with a sigh, the older rested his hands on the younger's thighs comfortably.
"Alright. Wear me clothes, yers are too wet, still. Say that ye had ta get changed 'cause of the rain. I'll come by tonight with 'em dry, yeah?" John gazed up at his (boyfriend? shit, they hadn't talked about it yet) with a lopsided smile, which quickly faded at his thoughts. How will I ask him? Does Paul want to be in an actual relationship with me? I know I do.. what is Paul just wants a quick fuck every now and then and doesn't actually want to be with me?
"Yeah, but- how 'm I gonna sneak ye in?" Paul asked worriedly, slipping on one of John's thick, warm, dry coats. John hadn't noticed that the doe-eyed boy had gotten up. "I know 'm gonna be grounded fer a bloody month, I won't be able ta go to me audition! Fuck." He clutched at his hair with a hiss of annoyance.
"Macca, love, hey! Baby, hey.." John sat up quickly, before getting out of bed and coming to pull the younger into a hug, who buried his head in his shoulder. "We'll figure it out. We'll find a way to sneak about, yeah? An' I'll make sure ta get ye to that audition, hm?" He lifted Paul's head with a raise of an eyebrow, gazing down at him kindly. Paul stared up at him for a few seconds before nodding, relaxing with a growing grin as they connected their lips again, holding each other close before giggling into each other's mouths. The younger gazed up at him with delight with a small smile (fuck, he's so fucking cute how does he do that was what was travelling through John's mind at that moment) and affectionately pecked him on the nose and cheek.
"Thanks, Johnny." They fell comfortably back into the hug again, John pressing occasional kisses to Paul's head of hair before burying his head into it, breathing in Paul's intoxicating scent once again with a large grin.
But, of course, the time for Paul to leave had to come, and they pulled away from their hug and John escorted him out of the manor, sneaking through secret hallways to hide from sight and going out the back garden and up to the side fence. Gazing at each other sadly, Paul quickly glanced around them before pulling John into one last brief kiss, the older inhaling sharply before wrapping his arms around him, sighing when they parted.
"Remember, 'm comin' by tonight. Is that okay?" John reached to graze his hand across the younger's cheek, gazing at him with a fond expression.
"Yeah, 'course. See ye then, love." Paul grinned back at him before pulling from his grasp, turning to get a run up on the wall and jump up onto it, pulling himself up to the top. John felt an overwhelming urge to keep the younger with him, even if it was just for a few seconds longer - wanted to kiss him one last time. Seeing Paul leave made his heart ache so much.
"Paul, wait!-" John ran up to the wall and grabbed onto the younger's arm. Paul looked down at him in shock before jumping back over the wall onto John's side, staring at him in slight confusion.
"Yeah? Wh-"
His words were cut off when John pulled him fervently into a kiss, hands coming up to the side of the doe-eyed boy's cheeks. Paul's breath hitched, but he melted into it after a second of surprise, pulling the prince flush against him before John pulled away to press kisses all over his face and neck, heart soaring when Paul dissolved into embarrassed giggles.
"John! John, I gotta go-" Paul spoke through breathless laughter, halfheartedly attempting to push the older away by putting his hands on his chest, but instead he just reached up to wrap them around his neck.
"Mmm, not yet-" He continued to pepper kisses all across Paul's face; on his nose, forehead, eyelids, cheeks, lips, chin, jaw - the younger feebly protested but secretly, was enjoying it.
"I know, but- really, I gotta go, love!" Paul gently pushed the prince's face away with an apologetic expression. He pressed one last brief kiss to the other's lips before pulling away from his embrace. "I'll still see ye tonight. Yeah?"
"Alright, alright." John held his hands up in surrender, before watching his friend jump back onto the fence, slipping slightly on the damp concrete. "Bye, Macca!" He called with a wave and a grin.
"Bye! See ya tonight!" Paul grinned back and playfully blew a kiss, which John caught with a flair of stupidity and a spastic grin, causing the younger to giggle at the older's antics before promptly leaping over the fence to the other side and disappearing out of sight.
Once Paul was gone, the prince sighed to himself, uncontrollably grinning and leaning against the fence with a love-filled sigh. Fuck.. Paul likes me back. I still can't bloody believe it. Paul's scent still lingered slightly on the older's clothes, and he breathed it in to comfort himself before turning to make his way back inside.
He had to face Mimi and her wrath now..
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"Psst.. Mike!" Paul peeked through the window into their one bedroom, glad when he spotted his brother sitting on his mattress, furiously trying to sew up the torn knee of his trousers but failing terribly. The doe-eyed boy had just come back from John's manor and he was hoping to avoid the impending doom he was about to face from his father. Mike looked up in shock and spotted Paul there, before standing up, coming over to the window.
"Paul? What the hell, ye were meant to come home yesterday! Da's fuckin' furious, mate!" Mike crossed his arms irritably at his brother.
"I know, I know- is 'e here? How do I avoid 'im?" Paul glanced around them anxiously, as if Jim would burst out of the closet out of nowhere and cut his head off.
"Paul, there isn't any way. Yer gonna have ta face 'im at some point, y'know. Jus' do it now an' get it over with before it gets any worse." Mike raised an eyebrow, giving him a look of 'cut the bullshit'. He was right, of course. Paul hated that he was right, and the older sighed, before crawling through the window, shutting it after him.
"Yeah.. I know. 'm gonna fuckin' die."
"I'll host yer funeral!"
"Fuck off." Paul shoved his snickering brother half-heartedly before making his way through and out the bedroom. "Wish me luck."
"Break a leg. Yer definitely going to."
"Yep-" Paul shut the door slowly, clutching onto the doorknob tightly, attempting to psych himself up to face the wrath of his father. "C'mon Paul.. do it. Ye can do it. Not a big deal. Yeah." He chanted to himself as he made his way down the hallway, as slowly as possible, before entering the kitchen, eyes shut tightly.
Opening them, there Jim was, tea in hand, smoking a pipe in the other, a worn book lying closed on the table, eyes staring out the window next to the table that overlooked the front porch. Paul wrung his hands over and over behind his back before coming into full view, head hanging and shoulders hunched. Fuck, here goes-
"James." Jim greeted him without looking at him, instead just continuing to stare out the window, taking another long puff of his pipe.
"Da'-"
"No, don't speak." He held up a hand, before gesturing for Paul to sit across from him, which he did so diligently, staring at his lap while picking nervously at his nails. Turning to look at him, Jim began his tirade. "Ye continue- to disappoint me, James. Ye can't even follow some simples rules I place fer more than two days." His face was taut with anger, voice surprisingly steady and calm, and he sighed irritably, taking another puff of his pipe. This type of anger scared Paul more than yelling. "It wasn't that hard, I wasn't askin' tha' much from ye. I coulda done much worse like most parents, but I was very lenient with ya. I put me trust in ye ta do the right thing. That was a mistake, unfortunately. 'm puttin' me foot down." He pointed a finger at Paul. "Yer grounded fer a month. Ye have ta stay here an' focus on doin' housework, cookin', cleanin' an' such, work on the farm, help out. Friends can only visit twice a week an' ye can't go anywhere with them. Got it?"
Paul wanted to scream "I'm almost 17!" But he knew that wouldn't help whatsoever, so he shut his mouth and just nodded. "Yes, da'."
"Good. Do what I ask of ye- if ye can't even do that- I don't even know what ta do there. Jus'- do what I ask fer once, James. I'm not gonna do anythin' worse than what I'm askin', which ain't that much, because we need ya helpin' out on the farm an' such an' help chop wood. An' I can't keep ye from seein' yer friends. Yer almost 17, yer allowed ta have fun before ye have to settle down with a proper job an' get yer own place- I can't stop ye from that. It's not right."
Paul nodded fervently with a small smile. The punishment wasn't even that bad. He said exactly what I was thinking.
"Yes, da'- I understand. I'll do me best ta do what ye ask of me." (Not really, as he was definitely going to sneak out to see John)
"Thank ye, son. I'm sorry I had ta do this, but ye know it's fer yer own good. Ye need ta be more responsible, alright? Set a good example fer Mike too." Jim patted his son on the shoulder, before sipping the last of his tea and standing up.
"Yeah, I promise."
✧✧✧✧✧
"Ah, John. Sit, please." Mimi gestured to the sofa across from her.
John had finally worked up the courage to face his aunt and receive whatever punishment from her for his actions; he was absolutely terrified of what was going to happen, but that was expected.
He entered the greeting room, fiddling anxiously with his sleeves as he braced himself for what was going to happen - once he entered, he saw that the woman was sitting perched neatly on the velvet sofa, saucer in one hand and teacup in other, pinky stretched out delicately as she took one last polite sip of her tea before placing it down quietly on the coffee table in front of her. On John's side of the coffee table was a teacup of his own, the tea inside still steaming hot, but he felt so queasy that he probably wouldn't even be able to stomach it.
As silently as possible, the only sound in the room being John's small footsteps as he came to slowly sit down on the sofa across from the queen, hands held tightly together on his lap to keep from fidgeting. His anxiety was through the roof at that point, and he struggled to keep calm as he reached a shaky hand to pick up his tea and give a polite sip just so he could focus on something else other than Mimi. Fuck, Paul, I wish you were here right now.
The silence was so overbearing in that room; the air so thick and tense that it felt like John was six feet deep in water, the weight closing all around him and pushing him further and further into the depths. It was horrible, and John wanted to just run out of that room and away from his entire life at that moment.
"So, John." Mimi began. God I'm so screwed. John desperately wanted to speak, wanted to explain himself - but he knew it was no use at all. It was better to just let the queen speak until she was done, unless he wanted to be disemboweled.
"What you said to me yesterday, when you were with that.. boy," She folded her hands in her lap, continuing to stare at the coffee table, unreadable expression on her face. "Was absolutely unacceptable. We do not swear at anyone like that, or at all for that matter. It is vulgar language, meant for the sailors at sea - not for educated people like us. I am sick and tired of the way you have been acting for the past months; years, in fact. Running off with your friends, especially that Richard and that common boy George every other day, and whoever that other boy you were with the other day, neglecting your studies and responsibilities. I'm putting a stop to it. You have to face reality, John." She turned to look at him with an intense stare.
"You are about to be the king of Liverpool. You are not one of the lowly common boys that you somehow want to be for some reason, you are an educated, high class person. You have to associate with such people, not people many classes below you, who cannot even read." She spoke those words with such conviction, such negative emotion behind the way she spoke about the lower class that it made John's blood boil. How dare she talk about his friends like that? "There already has been rumours in the newspapers, people talk, you know." She took another sip of her tea, her voice slowly rising in volume as she continued to talk.
"Prince John Lennon spotted at local pub associating and mingling with common people!" She stood up and grabbed some nearby newspapers and shoved them into John's grasp, turning to pace the room, "John Lennon, prince of Liverpool, running and frolicking in the rain with a boy many classes lower than him? Is this the future of our city?"
Staring in utter shock at the many newspapers in his grasp, they did indeed have those words written on the front cover of them; John had been horribly, horribly reckless - even more of them as he shuffled through the papers were talking about the possibility of him being a homosexual and having an intimate relationship with these common boys he was associating with. Fuck oh my god fuck oh god. No one can know, if they find out they literally will hang me oh my god- He threw them back onto the coffee table, violently shaking hands running through his hair as his heart beat incredibly fast, fear and horror bubbling up in his chest and threatening to take hold of his mind.
I'm putting myself and everyone in danger. Paul. Oh my god, Paul- I'm putting him in danger. George too, and Ringo. They could be found out and fucking murdered. Oh my fucking god.
She turned to face him with an enraged expression. "Did you think you would get off scot-free, that you could run around with your friends, no responsibilities, forever? Some of those are extorting the truth, trying to make up rumours about your possible homosexuality which isn't true at all- (they were actually very right, but John wouldn't let Mimi know that ever) but that doesn't change anything. You're ruining our reputation! You cannot do this anymore, John. You're going to ruin everything. You have to stop this right now, this instant."
She stared down at him in fury.
"You cannot see George anymore. Or Ringo. Or that Paul boy you were with- none of them."
"Mimi! I-" John started, voice hoarse as tears began to well. He couldn't believe he had dug himself such a giant hole.
"No! You have to focus on your responsibilities. This is your life, John. You have to build up your reputation, refute those silly rumours, so we can put this behind us. You're an adult now, almost 19. Your time of running around with vermin is over. You can never see them again- you are about to be married in less than a year and you will become king with Cynthia shortly after. That is your life now. You have to face it." She continued to berate him heatedly.
When John didn't reply, she started again.
"Tomorrow night at eight o' clock we have guests coming over for dinner and staying the night, you must be on your best behaviour. Show yourself off and Cynthia too. We have more planned this week, Cynthia's parents are coming too. Proper preparations for the wedding must begin now, we do not have much time left." She placed her hands behind her back. "Now, please go choose your best suit to wear when they come, and have a bath, please. You look filthy. I will see you tonight for dinner." She stood there for a few more seconds, but when John continued to stay silent, she turned on her heel and left the room, leaving behind a strong stench of expensive perfumes.
John hissed out a breath and left the excruciatingly stuffy room and stumbled to his room, trying not to let panic overwhelm his mind as it struggled to take in all the information that it had just been given.
I can't see George anymore. Or Ringo. I can't go out with them, I can't go to pubs anymore- I can't be with my real friends. I can't.. I can't see Paul. I was so careless, I put everyone in danger. I fucking put Paul in danger. What if people look into it and find out? What will they do? Fuck, oh my god- I put everyone in fucking danger, I'm risking their lives just because of my horrible careless self. I'm a horrible, horrible person. I'm so fucking terrible. I don't deserve Paul. I don't deserve anyone.. I can't do anything right. Mimi's right to be mad at me. I'm so horrible. Why couldn't have I just grown up like Mimi wanted me to, stayed in my fucking lane and been a normal person? Why did I have to get attracted to Paul? Why did I have to put him at fucking risk just so I can have a bit of fun and feel like a regular person for a few hours?
A gut-wrenching scream ripped from his throat and he punched his wall with all the strength he could muster. So strongly, in fact, that he punched a hole right through it, bloodying his knuckles in the process. He let out a sob as the tears welled uncontrollably, so many emotions coursing through him in that moment that he couldn't hold it in anymore. He fell against the wall with a sharp inhale, sinking to the floor by his bed as the tears streaked down his face, broken, muffed sobs echoing through the hallway as he shoved his head into his hands, clutching at his hair so tightly that his knuckles turned white and he ripped a few out. His head pounded horribly as he cried, knuckles stinging and smearing blood on his clothes and face, teeth clenched so tightly they ached.
I can't see Paul anymore. I can't put him in any danger at all. I can't do it. I'm not putting him in danger anymore. I have to face facts.
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author's note.
________________
YO GAMERS OMG hope u enjoy
this chapter,,, sorry sorry it
ended up being rly sad omg )):
poor johnny n paul aahggg
how do u think theyre gonna
prevail through this? aaaah
anyways hope u enjoyed this
chapter ,,, new one gonna b
out soon ,, thanks for readin,
leave feedback etc !! i love u
guys sm sorry for the sad chap
)): byeee <333 pls dont hate me