This story's based on a CAH result;
"If I'm a cinnamon roll, too good for this world. Too pure. And you're for the aesthetic, then who's driving the waverider?"
After defeating Mallus, Nate wanted to help Sara and Ava relax. If only Mick hadn't set the fruit on fire, causing Nate to give Sara and Ava lyoga root tea.
Honestly I loved writing this so please enjoy.
After breaking time, then defeating Mallus, Nate wanted to help everyone relax. He figured he'd start with the captain and her girlfriend. So he made them some tea. Unfortunately, he wasn't paying attention when he picked a flavour tea. Mick chose that moment to come into the kitchen and accidentally set fire to some fruit as he grabbed a beer. His finger might've slipped and Gideon gave him two mugs of lyoga root tea instead of chamomile. In hindsight, he realised that giving Sara tea was not the best choice anyway.
"Captain, extra captain, I made you guys some tea." He held out two mugs. One of them read 'Captain Lance's mug, do not touch' on one side, and the other side had 'Mom friend ™'. Ray had made everyone a mug for Valentine's day. Ava's mug read 'Sword lesbian' and 'Step-mom friend™' which Ava hated until she saw Sara's mug.
"Uh, thanks, Nate." Sara wrapped her hands around her drink.
"Yeah, thanks. Shouldn't you be with Amaya?" Ava reminded him.
"Oh crap, right, gotta go! Enjoy your tea!" Nate ran off. He had forgotten that he would take Amaya on a tour through the U. S. before she left for Zambesi.
"He's such a kid," Ava spoke, sipping on the strange tea. Sara smiled and nudged Ava.
"Yeah but he's my kid. They're all my kids." She held up her mug as proof.
"They're all my step-kids," Ava mirrored Sara's movement. They sat in the captain's quarters, enjoying the rare peace and quiet. Ray was off on the jumpship with Rory, Zari and Wally were playing video games. The agreement was that they'd leave the temporal zone in a couple hours, and head for Aruba. It was time to relax.
About thirty minutes later, Sara started to feel a little weird.
"Hey Ava, do you see that tap dancing squirrel outside the window?" She pointed slowly, and Ava raised her eyebrows.
"Sara are you okay? Nothing can be outside, we're in the temporal zone, remember?" Sara stared at Ava like she were a rainbow panda bear. She reached out toward Ava, placing both her hands firmly on Ava's cheeks. She brought Ava's forehead to hers and looked her in the eyes with deep determination.
"What the fuck is going on, fuzzy?" Ava carefully lifted Sara up into her arms and glanced at the empty mugs.
"Gideon?! What kind of tea did Nate give us?!"
"Mister Heywood gave you both lyoga root tea, I believe that was not his intention. Mister Rory started a fire in the kitchen at the same moment, so mister Heywood got distracted." Ava felt the tea take its effects on her.
"Gideon, get the team here, now."
"Yes, miss Sharpe." Sara took that opportunity to raise her head and cross her eyes.
"I love this rollercoaster!" Ava placed her in the captain's chair, before turning to face the legends. Zari and Wally showed up first. They were both still clutching video game remotes.
"Hey Ava, what's going on?" Zari asked, before laying eyes on Sara who was spinning the chair round and round.
"Nate drugged her- I mean us, you are a giant doughnut with sprinkles." Oh no, she thought. It's working. She watched the doughnut cross her doughnut arms.
"Wally, go find Nate." Wally turned to Zari and raised his eyebrows.
"Dude, right now, I'm in charge. Out of the two of us, I have the most Legends experience." Wally rolled his eyes but sped through the Waverider.
He found Nate and Amaya in the library, planning their trip.
"...Alaska."
"But Amaya, Alaska is basically Canada!" He let them bicker for another second.
"Hey, dude? You gave Sara and Ava that weird tea." Amaya stared at Nate in horror, who in his turn looked like Wally spoke Greek.
"What? No way. I pressed the chamomile button." His weak argument was blown to bits when Ava sprinted into the library, holding a whole bunch of plaid shirts.
"I need to make a plaid fort for my Captain girlfriend!"
"Yeah, no. It was the lyoga root tea. Oh, Sara's going to kill me!" Amaya rolled her eyes, then took Ava by the arm.
"Let's regroup on the bridge, figure out what to do." Ava gasped at Amaya and dropped all the shirts.
"Cherries are red because they eat people, ssh!"
"Oh, my f-" Wally sped them all back to the bridge.
"Heeeeeyyyy, that's my mermaid." Sara had crossed her legs over the right armrest of her chair. Her arms and head leaned over the other one. Zari turned to Nate with a dangerous look in her eyes.
"Dude! Look at what you've managed to do. They're both complete idiots right now." Ava managed to flip herself inside the tablet table on the bridge and peeked over the edge.
"Okay okay, I did something really stupid. What do we do now?" Nate held up his hands in surrender.
"Well, I don't think they'll go on a vision quest since neither of them has a totem at the moment," Amaya spoke.
"So... They're just going to stay super high for a while?" Wally looked at Amaya, hoping she'd tell him he was wrong.
"Most likely. That's what happened to Nate when he drank the tea." As they discussed the problem, Sara untangled herself from her chair and tried to join Ava, wobbling all around the table. Zari groaned and rubbed her temples.
"Someone call Ray, we have to do something."
"What would Ray tell us? Does he know anything about these things?" Wally took a step back when Nate shot him an angry glare.
"Ray's a genius, no being mean to my best bro." Nate went to call Ray.
"What do we do in the meantime?" The three of them watched as Ava jumped out of the table, then took Sara's hand and ran off.
"We need the painting!" Sara yelled.
"Any of you have experience babysitting?" Zari sighed.
"No? Alright, you two get on Ava, I'll take Sara." They agreed to that.
"Gideon, let Nate know where we are when he's done calling Ray!"
"Yes miss Tomaz." They sprinted to the corridor where Sara and Ava had disappeared.
"Wait, you did what?!" Ray's hologram almost looked angry. Nate avoided eye contact.
"Yes, I know it was stupid! But Mick started a fire in the kitchen so I was distracted."
"Okay, makes sense. So what's the plan?"
"Uhm. We're working on it. Just come back to the ship, okay? We need everyone's help." Nate ended the call and walked back to the bridge. On his way there, he passed the fabrication room. He turned around and stuck his head inside. Sara managed to put on Amaya's vixen costume while Ava was wearing Leonard's big poofy coat.
"Hey, guys... What are you doing?" He walked inside. Ava looked at him, then pulled the hood over her eyes.
"Yetis are allergic to marzipan." She stated.
"The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell," Sara replied, standing up straight. She played her fists on her hips.
"I am the powerhouse of this cell! I am the mitochondria!" She sprinted past Nate, who was so confused he didn't stop her. Ava was rummaging through a big chest in the back of the room, clearly looking for something. When Nate approached, she lifted up an object. It was a glow in the dark model of the moon, the size of a yoga ball.
"I must contact the others! We will regroup on Pluto!" Nate made a grab for Ava, who bounced the moon on his head, knocking him out cold.
"One down, elephant to go!" She ran off.
An hour later, Ray showed up on the Waverider. Since Nate never made it back to the bridge, Ray wandered around aimlessly looking for Sara. He found Zari sprinting to the laundry room.
"Hey, what's going on? Shouldn't we be leaving for Hawaii by now?" Ray spoke as he followed Zari.
"Yes. But to do that we need Sara, with a functioning brain," Zari muttered, out of breath.
She came to a halt and pointed to their captain, currently attempting to crawl inside the dryer.
"I need to see the manager!"
"All right, good point. Where's Ava?"
"Wherever-" Zari tugged on Sara.
"Hey, give me a hand dude."
"Of course, sorry." Together they got Sara out of the dryer.
"Wherever Amaya and Wally are. We're trying to get them to the bridge, according to Gideon the tea should wear off soon." Zari and Ray each took one of Sara's arms and walked her to the bridge.
"No, no I hate maths class!" Sara struggled against them and Zari was grateful for Ray's timely appearance.
"Okay, we'll take you to gym class," Ray suggested. Sara stopped struggling so much.
Amaya and Wally were chasing Ava around the treadmill in the gym, Wally cursing loudly. Amaya told him not to use his speed since it might freak Ava out even more.
"Can I please just speed her back?!" He was doing an absolutely dreadful job of running like a normal person. Amaya stopped chasing Ava and sighed.
"Fine, bring her to the bridge. The tea should wear off now." She started a slow walk back to the bridge. Giant monsters, okay. Authority figures who are high as heaven, no thanks. On the way back, she met Nate who had a large bump on his forehead.
"Don't ask."
"Guys, we have to leave now if we want to be on time to meet Jax there!" Ray placed Sara in one of the seats and pulled down the safety bar. "This is a terrible roller coaster," she told him.
"I'll pilot the ship, I'm the closest thing to an engineer you've got." Zari sat down in the captain's seat and turned back to the others. Wally put Ava in the seat next to Sara's, who leaned towards her and grabbed Ava's hand. The others had no argument against Zari flying the ship, so they sat down too.
Sara was slowly starting to understand reality. Reality hit Ava like a truck. She stared down at their intertwined fingers, then looked her girlfriend in the eye.
"If I'm a cinnamon roll, too good for this world. Too pure. And you're for the aesthetic... Then who's driving the Waverider?" She asked.
"Oh now I'm really in trouble," Nate mumbled. Sara's eyes widened as she realised what happened.
"Nate, what the fuck?!"