BSL. Speech + Sign. Speech.
It is evening and the house is quiet. It is always quiet but it feels a little more quiet than usual.
Enough to make Anne step out of her office and check on her son.
By now she expects him to take his usual evening walks, the super helpful ones that help him clear his head and reset his mind for the night.
To her surprise, he's in the living room watching a cooking show with captions and scrolling through his phone.
Anne frowns a little, noticing he's barely paying any attention to the cooking show and watches him for some minutes.
Harry is curled up on the couch with a bottle of water by his side and in his own world.
Anne takes a step closer and gently taps his shoulder, causing him to flinch a little before looking at her.
On seeing his mother, he relaxes a little with a small smile.
"It's just me," she signs and speaks.
"I was distracted," he nods.
"Can I join you?" she asks.
Harry pats the space next to him with a smile and Anne gladly joins him.
They sit next to each other and she exhales. Harry puts his phone away and looks up at the screen.
The cooking show is far gone and he doesn't even remember the last part he was at. He frowns, wondering when they go to the current scene and rolls his eyes.
"They're far gone," he tells his mother.
"I was sure you weren't concentrating," she scoffs.
"How can I?" he sighs.
Of course, there's a lot on his mind. It all centres around one person and that is Blue.
There's a lot about Blue on his mind.
"What's on your mind, love?" Anne smiles a little.
"I feel like a jerk," Harry admits.
Anne frowns not understanding the last word.
Some words are still hard to pick in BSL and she tries her best to keep up with him.
"A what?" she asks.
Harry narrows his eyes as he judges her before clearing his throat to speak.
"A...A jerk?"
Hearing her son's voice after nearly three years does something she cannot explain to her heart and Anne struggles to fight back the storm of tears threatening to feel.
It might seem a little dramatic to him but this is a grand moment for her, especially with the context of how and why he stopped using his voice.
Anne steadies herself but her arms are already coming around him as she leans closer to him.
The word doesn't come out as intended and it's not totally coherent, you can make out the first sound.
That's basically it.
Harry is not sure how that word is supposed to be pronounced and right now he's just ready to type it out if she still doesn't understand him.
"I think I can get it," she calmly responds.
"Are you about to cry?" he frowns at her.
"No!" Anne quickly lies. "Did you mean J-E-R-K?" she finger spells.
"Yes, did I say it well?" he chuckles. "Did it sound like the word?"
"Very close," she smiles at him.
"Fair enough. Anyway, I am a jerk," he shrugs.
"Is this because of her?" Anne sighs.
"Yes, I'm a horrible friend," Harry admits.
"You're being a little hard on her," she agrees.
"I don't know better," he frowns again.
Anne can see him physically withdrawing into that shell of him and she softly touches his shoulder.
Harry looks at his mother and wonders how she's still so patient with him. He's been hard to love and hard to be around these past years but she's been here.
Even his sister has fought back. Zayn too. But Anne is truly one to stay and not be pushed away.
Of course, he loves and appreciates these people but it's just so hard sometimes to accept they truly love him with no price to pay.
"I think you do," she's gentle.
"What do you mean?" he asks.
"You know you're being hard on her, so you know what to do next," she explains.
"What if she's done with me?" Harry is worried.
"She came all the way here today," Anne chuckles.
"That's true," he nods.
"I don't think she's done. I hope she's irritated though," she says.
"Hey, you're on my side!" Harry is shook.
"Are you sure about that?" she laughs a little.
"You should be on her side," he rolls his eyes.
"Baby, you know what you should do," Anne stares at him.
Harry exhales and nods in agreement. He knows what he must do. Nerves or no nerves.
This is not going to be easy but no friendship or relationship is actually easy. The work has to be done if it truly means anything to him.
He looks at his mother and gives a grateful smile.
"Thank you," he signs.
"I love you," Anne kisses his forehead.
-
Blue flops around on the couch, groaning and feeling irritated by the material. The past nights have been hard and sleep has refused to show up.
The nightmares are a little more vivid now and it's starting to worry her.
On the screen is a show on pause and Blue frowns at the time, it's barely eight.
If she forces herself to sleep now, she's going to be up before midnight and will have to stay up till morning. This is the worst.
Blue checks her phone and realises Paula has bombarded her with pictures of dinner her girlfriend made.
Blue smiles in slight envy and hurriedly responds to the message with a huge amount of yearning.
As she manages to be comfortable on the couch, there's a gentle knock on the door.
Blue groans as she wonders who it could be.
"Who is it?" she yells.
There's no answer. Another knock.
"What do you want from me?" she yells again.
No response. Another knock.
"Go away!" she almost screams.
No reply. Knock-Knock. Blue kicks against the couch and picks up herself with the cover.
At this time it's either her cousin passing by or a random neighbour with something random to share.
Blue increases her groaning hoping said person hears and gives up but it doesn't work.
Without bothering with the peep hole, she unlocks her door and throws it open.
To her utter shock, it's Harry standing there and it suddenly makes sense why her screaming and groaning have been totally useless.
He's holding a small paper bag with a weak smile on his face and she pokes her head out to be sure he's not being held at gunpoint or something close.
"Harry?" she says.
Harry just blinks at her not getting what she just said and he silently wishes she doesn't slam the door in his face.
He nervously stands there after deciding with his mother to try.
Anne wanted him to call Zayn or Luce but he wanted to do it by himself. He even branched a shop to get her a snack just in case. Without any assistance. He was so lucky an attendant was fluent in BSL.
That is not a common occurence so a part of him believes the universe is on his side tonight.
Blue does not understand what's happening but it's dark and she cannot afford to send him back so she exhales, gesturing at him to come.
As he enters, she closes the door and locks it. He awkwardly stands tall there and she just stares at him.
"I thought to say hi," he starts.
"Hi," she calmly says.
"How are you?" he asks.
"Trying to sleep," she shrugs.
"Am I disturbing? I can leave," Harry is concerned.
"No. I struggle with sleep," Blue explains.
"Insomnia?" he asks.
Blue does not understand that sign and she frowns.
"What was that?" she asks and signs.
"No sleeping?" he rephrases his sign.
"Yeah," she slowly nods.
Harry gently stretches out the paper bag to her with a smile and she's a little hesitant.
"I got you a sandwich and drink," he explains.
"Oh, why?" she frowns.
"I messaged Paula and she suggested dinner," he replies.
"That's very kind but you shouldn't have," Blue is staring at the paper bag.
"Please, take it," Harry urges.
Blue rolls her eyes and slowly takes it from him. He understands her hesitance and knows he probably deserves worse for being cold and stubborn.
She returns to the couch and he chooses to stand until she's comfortable with having him over again.
Blue checks the bag and smiles a little at the sandwich and lemonade drink.
It's kind of him but a part of her feels he truly shouldn't have. She turns to see him just standing there and she waves to get his attention.
It works and he gives her a small smile.
"Thank you," she says and signs.
"It's nothing," he shrugs.
"Is that all?" she asks.
"No," he shakes his head.
This takes Blue to him verbally saying the same word earlier today and it does a little thing to her chest that makes her a little uncomfortable.
Even after teasing him to speak, she wasn't ready to hear him say that to her and it's just weird.
Every single thing currently feels weird and she doesn't want to say or do the wrong thing again.
"Do you want to sit?" she asks.
"If you want me to, yes," he answers.
"Sure, sit," she smiles a little.
Harry gladly joins her on the couch and they maintain a little distance between each other. He turns to her and she focuses on the sandwich.
Harry lightly taps her knee to get her attention and she looks at him.
"Do you struggle to sleep every night?" he asks.
"Yeah, no worries though," she replies.
"How can I help?" Harry is worried.
"No, it's totally my problem," Blue chuckles.
"I want to help," he frowns.
"Why? Why are you being nice?" she sighs.
Harry feels stung by the question but she's only right. It doesn't make sense to be cold in the day and super nice at night. That's not how it goes.
"I've been horrible to you," he answers.
"Not horrible, just stubborn," she nods along.
"For no reason," he continues.
"You probably have your reasons," Blue says.
"Yeah, but it's not your fault," Harry adds.
"Well, I thought it was about the kiss gone wrong," she says.
"That was a trigger," he smiles a little.
"For me too," she admits.
Harry nods in agreement and moves a little closer to her.
"I should have let you explain without overreacting," he states.
"Yes, you should have," she rolls her eyes.
"I'm sorry," he sighs.
"Me too," she stares at him.
"What for?" he frowns.
"Freaking out during the kiss," she says.
"You clearly panicked, don't apologise for that," Harry is sincere.
Blue sets her sandwich and the drink on the coffee table near the couch.
There's silence for some minutes as they aren't sure what to say anymore.
Harry looks around the living room and finds himself feeling a little more relaxed than some minutes before. He leans into the couch and takes notice of what's on the screen.
Thanks to her, he's been allowing himself to watch more films or at least try watching more films for the course. He recognises what's on the screen and points at the screen with a smile.
"Don't tell me you've already seen this before me," she says.
"I have," he nods in joy.
"Betrayal!" she also leans into the couch.
"I understand much of the subtitles, and it's a great watch," he explains.
"That's great," she smiles a little.
Harry turns to her and gently taps her.
"You know if you want us to talk now, we can," he assures her.
"Well Doctor Bell sent out an email tomorrow saying class has been moved to Friday," she starts, calmly.
"I haven't checked," Harry replies.
"Can we hang out tomorrow and talk?" she asks.
"Can I ask a question?" he clears his throat.
"Sure," she nods.
"Can I keep you company tonight?" Harry asks.
Blue is floored by the question but cannot deny how warm it suddenly makes her feel.
"Are you sure about that?" she frowns.
"Yes, maybe I can help you find sleep," he smiles a little.
"Are you okay with this?" Blue is worried.
"I am the one offering, come on," he chuckles.
Blue smiles in realisation and slowly nods.
"You can keep me company, I need it," she answers.
"We can talk in the morning, is that fine?" he adds.
"That's very fine," Blue agrees.
"Great, now let's watch this," he points at the screen.
"Are you okay with rewatching? I can put on some drag-race for us," she smiles.
"Don't tempt me with a good time," Harry is excited.
Blue laughs and is more than glad to have her friend gradually coming back to her.
"We can start with the movie and end it with drag-race,"
"Do you have some wine?"
"You don't have to ask me!"
With that, Blue dances up to get them a bottle with two glasses from the kitchen and returns to sit next to him.
The distance has disappeared as they settle into the couch to watch the film with that familiar ease and renewed comfort returns to them.
-
This started out as a super short story but I extended it to a total of 10 chapters. Enjoy and stay safe x