The first couple of hours after I knew about her accident were a blur. I died a few times waiting for my father to drive me to the hospital, Mom was adamant I shouldn't ride my bike.
The road was cluttered and my father cussed under his breath. I fought the urge to open the door and run the rest of the way through the traffic jam. All I did was close my eyes and let the sinking void of fear swallow me whole.
Why didn't I stay longer at her doorstep the way I always did?
Every time I'd dropped her off, I'd lingered near her window, hidden by the thickest oak tree in her garden. I'd made sure she was safe. Why didn't I wait this time?
Something was off that night. It's as if our time together wasn't enough to keep her in the now. Her elsewhere eyes kept on flying away to the stars above our heads. She kept on turning her head left and right as if she expected someone to come out of the shadows.
My girl was haunted, and I ignored it. I should have hugged her longer, kissed her harder. She wasn't holding... I knew it. Yet, I drove off and never heard back from Dawn. My last words to her were meaningless. A stupid comment about the weather and how it made my hair sticky.
After countless unanswered messages, I should have sensed the red light. The warning. Her need for me... Thinking of her broken body sprawled against the scolding pavement kept me up all night.
Then the wreck of this moment caught up.
I sat by her side and witnessed how she didn't remember me. Our time together. Our story. All I wanted to do was pull her into me, lay my head on hers. All I did was hold her hand, screaming inwardly at this sick twist of fate.
She wouldn't say my name—she didn't know it.
She wouldn't roll her eyes at me if I told her off because of her reckless ways—she wouldn't get it.
She wouldn't say what went on over that street, in her head, inside her heart, before it all crumbled down.
Her eyelids fluttered as she watched me hold her hand. Just like they did the first time, crowding out all the bad things. When the whole sky became the color of her eyes and my world spun round her name.