MY LOYALTY lay with Remus from the first moment we share on the train ride to Hogwarts.
I say 'Good Morning!' in my friendliest voice to the quiet boy that offers me a wave in the otherwise empty compartment. We had only moved to England a few months prior to my start at Hogwarts, so I had not made any friends in my new neighbourhood due to my new trouble with English. School doesn't teach much. At my greeting, his ears perk up - no doubt at my accent (which I've work hard to get rid of, though I'm told I merge some of my words too much)- and takes an immediate interest as to where I'm from, telling me he read a book about it's history and I smile.
And when I see Remus' eyes trail over to a shy boy who wrings his hands nervously, inviting him into our compartment without hesitation, I know that I made a good decision to take a liking to him.
Then I'm sorted into Hufflepuff, and Remus and Peter into Gryffindor. As he sits down at the table next to me, he turns his body and sends me a frown, but I simply clap and give him a beaming smile to show I'm proud of him. As said by the sorting hat, my just and loyal Hufflepuff self decides that it will take a lot more than different houses for Remus to get rid of me.
So, at the beginning of sixth year, I'm already scanning the platform for the mousy haired boy, determined to speak with him. He abandoned our usual tradition of textbook hunting in Diagon Alley, so I never got to ask why he stopped writing.
"Er - Hey, Des, I-" The familiar voice calls from behind me, and I turn around to give Remus a hug before he can finish.
"You need to stop growing." I state, my voice muffled by his chest. He just chuckles and lets go of me far sooner than normal.
Remus and I usually spend a couple weeks at each other's houses over the summer. But during the week he spent at mine, I woke up and he was gone without a trace, no note except for the floo powder residue in my fireplace. And then he stopped sending owls, like he just dropped off the face of the Earth.
It's weird, and unlike Remus.
"You split... suddenly." I accuse, alluding to said week.
His cheeks immediately blush and his hand comes up to scratch his jaw right under his chin.
"Yea - er - sorry about that." He stutters, not meeting my eyes. "Something came up."
"It's too bad," I prompt, "you missed Tina and her new broomstick."
Remus chuckles slightly, but doesn't meet my eyes.
"I'm really sorry, Des." He sighs. "It was bad timing and... it wont happen again."
I shake my head.
It was really bad timing, on both our parts. Only after he left did I see it was the day before the full moon. I cursed myself for being so forgetful, because Remus thinks I don't know about his lycanthropy, and I can only imagine the stress he felt when he noticed.
"Well I'm just happy to see you again." I say as the scarlet train blows its whistle. "Tell Jane we'll be in the same compartment as always."
I pick up my stuff and Remus just looks at me like he has something to say.
"Rem, you have a prefect meeting..." I remind him and he blinks a couple times, deciding not to express whatever's on his mind.
He grabs his trunk off the ground abruptly and gives me a quick wave. "Bye, Des."
"See ya?" I say more as a question at him odd behaviour.
It worries me slightly, but I don't have time to dwell on it when I notice the last people boarding the train and slip inside to go to find my compartment. Only Debbie is there, with a book in her lap, and barely giving me an acknowledgement until the end of her chapter. Only then does she greet me and help throw my extra luggage above the seats. Her greeting includes her usual beginning-of-the-year-complaints that she has to go all the way to London to get to school when she already lives in Scotland. I shrug.
"So, you spent your summer with loverboy." Debbie throws her novel into her bag and I can see her distaste at the statement as I shake my head and prop my feet on the extra bench room beside me.
"Remus had to leave early." I say, not including the fact that he left without telling me. Then I change subjects, "how's Gary?"
A wicked smile crosses her features, meaning she has something to tell me.
"I couldn't fit it all in a letter." She admits and I lean forward, interested in the gossip.
But before Debbie could indulge in her drama, three girls stop outside our compartment; two Slytherins and a Hufflepuff.
"Deborah," The Hufflepuff nods politely to Debbie before doing the same to me, "Desdemona."
"Iman." We copy and she motions for her friends to go on without her.
When the two girls were seemingly out of sight, Iman steps into the compartment and slides the door shut beside her, a smile instantly blooming on her face.
"I have news." She says, taking a seat beside Debbie.
As the only pureblood in our dorm room, Iman Shafiq has all the gossip from her family and Slytherin friends, but that means that she has to tread lightly on the fact that she is friends with a halfblood, muggleborn, and me.
"So does Debbie." I say.
"Gary." Is what she states and she has Iman's attention in a snap.
As she recounts what happened over the summer, Iman and I listen to every detail of the summer romance that came to a tragic and fitting end. Despite the whirlwind of emotions the two had for each other, and the 'bitchin' and 'surprisingly skillful' (according to Debbie) nights the two shared, Gary got a girl pregnant. And it wasn't Debbie.
Iman clasps a hand over her mouth.
Debbie leans back against her seat in order to emphasis her story as she looks at me. "So I got tested."
We stay in shocked silence for a moment before our compartment door opens and in steps Jane with her aura of soft authority and an arm full of papers that I'm guessing hold information for all the new clubs. One look at our faces and she asks,
"Gary?" And Debbie nods back, repeating his name for clarification.
"Well, I don't know if this will top it, but we did get first dibs on the trolley in the prefect meeting." She pulls out her purse as she takes the seat beside me, shooing my feet off the fabric. "Guess what I got."
"You didn't." Debbie says.
"Oh, I did!" She squeals, pulling out four cauldron cakes.
We all make noises of glee at the sight of them. Cauldron cakes are a favourite, and it's a miracle if they aren't all gone by the second car. The three of us greedily swipe them from Jane's hands and munch down.
"Oh, bless you and your prefect privileges." Iman praises after taking a bite.
I nod in agreement but no one says anything as we savour the magic that this these sweets. Even after, the four of us find ourselves silently relaxing. That is, until I pipe up with curiosity.
"Iman." I call to the girl who has closed her eyes and leant her head back.
She hums and I take it as a sign to continue.
"You say you have news."
"Oh?" Jane questions.
Iman's eyes shoot open at remembering her tidbit of gossip; the energy when she first stepped in the compartment back.
"Right on." She sits up and smooths down her hair even though it hadn't gotten messed up. "Sirius Black ran away from home."
"What?"
Iman nods,
"Got disowned." She confirms.
"Where'd he go?" I ask.
Maybe the moon isn't the only reason Remus left so early.
"My parents said something 'bout blood traitors." She casts a weary glance to Jane, who just shrugs it off. "My guess is the Potters."
"Has sense." I say, and Jane corrects me, so I try again. "Makes Sense. They're best mates."
"Remus didn't tell you anything?" Jane asks me and I shake my head.
"He wouldn't tell me something private about his friends." Especially if I don't know them personally. "Besides, I think he's avoiding me."
"What? Why?" Iman asks and I shrug.
"Who cares." Debbie's eyes are still closed and it means that she doesn't want to hear about Remus anymore. But I care.
I don't continue though, because she's not interested, meaning we have to talk about something else.
"Well, I haven't seen David yet." Iman abides and raises her eyebrow at Jane.
"He's worried for his final year." She replies. "And he met my parents this summer."
"No way, how'd that go?"
"Probably fine, it's David." Debbie interrupts before Jane can answer. "Let's get back to Black."
"What about him?"
"Well did he let himself go after running away? 'Cause that boy is fine, and it's be a waste to see it burnt out."
Jane and I don't know, because we haven't seen him yet, so we turn to Iman, who shrugs with a look that means she has no clue either. Debbie finally opens her eyes when she doesn't hear an answer, and crosses her arms.
"Well that doesn't help." She says, then looks at me. "Of all the boys you could be friends with, it couldn't be Black? It had to be the other one?"
I raise my eyebrows in shock, never having heard Debbie speak like this.
"What gives?" Jane confronts her. "Why are you being a bitch?"
Debbie shakes her head, looking out the window. I don't know what to do, don't even know what to say. But Iman waves her hand as if to brush it off, and then gets up to leave the compartment like she knows it'll help. Apparently, that does the trick, because once she's out, Deb turns back to Jane and I.
"I'm just bogued." She sighs. "Having someone cheat on you sucks. Especially when I fancied him that much."
I instantly feel compassion for my friend, any kind of betrayal sucks. My hand rests on her knee so that she'll look up at me.
"You want something from the trolley?" I ask, and she nods with a sad smile.
On my way there, I pass by a compartment full of four rowdy boys - Remus and his friends. I send a wave and a smile to the two that I know, and Peter sends one back, but Remus pretends he doesn't see me. And I know he's pretending because he locks eyes with me before quickly looking away.
My grin falls and I shuffle on my way.
Walking back with my sweets, I take another look in, but he's still not acknowledging me. I think for a second that it might be because he's with his friends, but he's never done that before, so I'm not too sure.
Back in my compartment, Jane has left, probably due to her prefect duties, and it's just Debbie.
"I saw Black." I say, the frown still on my face.
"And?" Debbie prompts, taking the sweets I got for her.
I assure her that he's still attractive, and she gives a smile before telling me I should really think of getting to know him. At least so she has a reason to talk to him.
I don't respond because I'm thinking of Remus.
A/N
hey hey :) i write on tumblr too
@kleftiko