Dil Ki Muhabbat
Mohabbate Izzat Hoti Hain, Khairat Nahi.
Naseeb Se Milti Hain Awqaat Se Nahi.
* * *
He peeked at the digital clock that hung on the wall opposite the bed.
8:32
They had better get up and freshen up. His mother served breakfast at 9 a.m sharp and she hated it when any one of them were late for breakfast.
He was still kept in the dark regarding what transpired the day before. He wanted answers today. Problems and misunderstandings are better solved sooner than later. Otherwise every small issue builds up one's irritation and frustration and becomes a huge explosive volcano eventually.
After freshening up, he did his wudhu and performed his qadha of Fajr Salaah.
Once he completed his Salaah, he gently tugged the blanket off of Bushra's face, revealing a head full of wild curls. Her long lashes touched the top of her cheekbones. Her mouth slightly ajar, light snores escaped her mouth. She was curled up into a tight fetus position, as if protecting herself from the shadows that lurked in her past.
Her palm was tucked beneath her left cheek. A portion of her arm was left exposed due to her sleeve crinkling up, a brownish-red mark branded her wrist. The skin was not dry and wrinkly, but the mark sure looked like it must have been a severe cut.
Ayaaz wrinkled his forehead in concern.
Did Bushra do this to herself ?
Was she suicidal?
His heart sped at the thought. She lacked self-love and dwelled too much on self-loathe.
Was the previous man in her life the cause of her suicide attempts, if this was a suicide attempt?
He clenched his fist at the thought. If that was the reality, he wouldn't be able to digest that very well!
A sharp knock on the door jolted him out of his thoughts.
"Bhaaaai breakfast is ready."
He glanced at Bushra.
She looks so exhausted. I should rather leave her to sleep, atleast in her absence I can address the big fat elephant in the room as well...
He opened the door, to a very annoyed looking sister. She glanced behind him.
"Where's Bhabhi?"
He grinned.
"Ooh I like the sound of that! Bhabhi, your brother's wife! As in me, Ayaaz has his very own wife."
She rolled her eyes.
"Allaah grant her oceans of sabr, she's going to have to deal with a guy like you every day! Allaah Rehm! I don't blame her for not liking you the first time she saw you!"
He lifted a brow.
"What makes you think that she didn't like me? Was there any girl ever that didn't like me?"
Her eyes rounded.
"Bhabhi just heard what you said, she's right behind you!"
He bit his tongue and whipped his head around only to see no one standing behind him.
She burst out into a fit of giggles.
"Your face!!"
He shook his head and closed the door behind him. His sisters cackles would disturb his wife's slumber.
"Where is she though?"
He rubbed the back of his neck.
"She seems quite exhausted, I didn't want to wake her up."
Her cheeks colored in embarrassment.
"Oh, sorry for asking..." she trialed trailed off and headed towards the staircase.
He laughed awkwardly.
"It's not at all what you're thinking! Man, what kind of a guy do you think I am? Nothing like that even happened!"
She laughed, putting her hands up in the air.
"Okay,okay! Maaf kijiye! It was the way you said it that gave of the wrong impression!"
He shook his head and followed her down the stairs.
When he reached the dining area, the rest of his family were already seated.
"Assalamualaykum."
"Wa alaykumusalam Beta, Kya haal hain? Meri beti kaha hain?"
(How are you? Where is my daughter?)
Saaqib asked fondly.
"She was looking quite tired so I didn't wake her up."
"Chalo acha kiya, aa jao beta."
(You did the right thing, come sit son.)
As Ayaaz sat down, Farzana voiced her disapproval.
"What good did he do Mr Saaqib? He married a girl who has no honour, who is sick and is not equal to him in status! It's the first day after their marriage and the madam is not worried at all, she's sleeping peacefully. She has Ayaaz wrapped around her finger from now!"
Ayaaz curled his hands into fists.
He bit his tongue, trying not to lash out in anger.
"Mother, however she is and whatever happened was in her past. She's now my wife, so please accept her as your daughter in law and respect her as you would a daughter in law."
Farzana stood up, scraping her chair violently across the marble tiles.
"There we go, the wife came now they forgot how to respect their mother."
Saying that she stomped off towards the garden in anger.
"Well, I have to agree 100% with Mama here!"
Shaista commented, shaking her head in distaste.
Shireen sat beside her, twisting her ear.
"Shut up! Don't you add on to bhais grief."
She shrugged, "Well, he could have done way better!"
Saaqib scolded.
"Enough! I don't want to hear anything else, stop all this nonsense."
Immediately the table settled into pin drop silence.
Ayaaz was just about to place the first bite of his paratha into his mouth, when his gaze met Bushra's.
She stood at the top of the staircase, clad in a silk, ankle length Emerald green dress that flowed around her elegantly. A black chiffon scarf was draped loosely around her face, a few tendrils of her hair spilled out. Her face was bare of make-up besides for a light sheen of lipgloss and a fine line of kaajal, which was beginning to disappear because of the tears that were forming in her eyes.
Shit! How long was she standing there?! How much did she hear?
Whatever she heard was enough to hurt her feelings... and how the heck did she wake up and get ready so fast!
This was all so wrong! Nothing was working out the way he envisioned it would. From the first day of their marriage already their had been misunderstandings, unhappiness and problems.
Saaqib followed his sons gaze, as he watched Bushra retreat back to the room.
Ayaaz sat frozen in his spot, ashamed of his family's behaviour.
"Go son, explain to her and console her, and is the honeymoon booked?"
Ayaaz stood up obediently.
"Yes, this evening we will leave, we'll sleep one night at one of the hotels near the airport and then tomorrow morning is our flight."
Saaqib breathed a sigh of relief.
"Excellent! Extend it from two, to three weeks. The environment is toxic here. Infact, make it a month."
Ayaaz nodded. He didn't need to ask his father why he should extend the two week stay. Maybe it would be better for them to get to know each other and maybe by the time they return his mother's anger would cool off.
"If it wasn't for work, I would have stayed a month, but I think I can ask for three weeks."
Without touching a morsel of his food, he rushed back up the stairs, his heart uneasy and his mind haywire.
He knocked on the door gently and then walked in, closing the door behind him.
He lowered his head in shame.
What should he even say?
Before he could think any further, Bushra crashed straight into his chest, clinging onto his shirt for dear life.
He stood shocked, his arms still limb on his sides.
Is this really happening?
Before she could change her mind, he quickly wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. He didn't care if she was bawling her eyes out, he didn't care that his shirt was getting soaked with her tears and snot probably. His wife, with her own free will hugged him willingly for the first time. She was the first one to break the ice.
He smiled against her hair and lightly pecked her head. She would be too busy crying to notice.
She pulled away immediately, looking all embarrassed & flustered.
"You're taking it too far now Ayaaz!"
She said between smiles & tears.
He feigned innocence.
"What did I do? You hugged me so I hugged you back!"
She placed her hands on her hips and shot him a pointed look.
Oh how adorable she looks when she does that! I just want to wrap my arms around her again...
"Don't play dumb with me!"
He chuckled.
"Okay forgive me for stealing a small, little teeny, tiny kiss without your permission. It was just a peck okay, I couldn't help it!" He stated honestly.
A blush covered her face, causing him to grin wider.
He grabbed his car keys from the pedestal. "Come with me."
She picked up her phone.
"Where to?"
"Breakfast. The atmosphere in this house is too dull for breakfast."
She raised her brow.
"But I thought there isn't any halaal places nearby!?"
He nodded.
"There isn't, but there is a garage where they sell Seattle coffee and they also have these pre-packed muffins which are absolutely divine and also halaal. Not the breakfast I would like to take my wife for the day after our Nikaah, but oh well that's all we can have in a small town."
She smiled as she shyly slid her hand through his.
"It's good enough."
He held onto her hand and they both walked out of the house with smiles on their faces.
* * *
Bushra giggled as Ayaaz related some of his funny childhood stories to her. He relished in the sound of her laughter, seeing her so carefree and happy for the first time since he met her.
As she threw back her head and lost herself in another bout of laughter, he silently promised himself that he would try his best to make her laugh more often.
He held her hand that was placed on the table. A faint blush coated her cheeks.
"We need to pack as soon as we get home. We're leaving for the airport this evening. Our flight is tomorrow morning at eight, but because the airport is so far we have to sleep over at the hotel there."
Bushra seemed shocked at the information.
"Where are we going?"
He grinned.
"Honeymoon!"
She laughed awkwardly, "No, I know that. I mean where are we going for ... um honeymoon?"
He winked.
"That's a surprise."
She huffed.
"Fine then, I will know where we're going eventually?"
"Hmm, but no harm in keeping you in suspense till then."
She took out her phone and clicked a picture of their adjoined hands next to their coffee cups.
"For the gram."
She smiled.
He shook his head in disapproval.
"I suggest that you keep it as memories. Don't show the rest of the world. The choice is still yours though, I'm just letting you know how I feel about this...."
She lifted her eyes to meet his.
"Why not?"
"I would also like to show off my wife and and my life to the world, and I used to do it at one stage in my life too... Then I realised how toxic it was becoming for me and my actual life. Everything needed to be picture perfect, every step of the way I had to update my followers, where I was going, what I was doing, what I was eating. Everything revolved around getting likes and approval from social media. I became so involved in posting and showing things online that I completely forgot how to enjoy my life in reality. How to please people in reality. How to wholly and genuinley just sit and soak in and appreciate the atmosphere around me, without having to snap a picture every time. Not realizing that memories are better captured in our minds and hearts than on our phones and social media. I got so carried away, eventually I realised I was more unhappy then I had ever been. I was living such a toxic life, trying to please poeple I barely knew, but distancing myself from my near and dear ones."
Bushra looked at him in awe.
"Wow... that's actually a very valid point. Never thought of it that way before."
"And I don't want anyone making nazr on us from now, we just got married!" He joked.
She shook her head.
"Alright, to respect your wishes I won't post anything regarding our personal life and thank you for being honest with me instead of not informing me and then freaking out on me."
He squeezed her hand, trying to understand the hidden meaning behind the last few words she uttered.
Did her ex-husband do that perhaps? Not inform her regarding his dislikes and then get angry at her?
He couldn't help but feel proud of himself. He knew that every step of the way he woul be compared to her ex-husband, and he was happy that he was better than him in one aspect. Alhamdulillah!
* * *
Naailah managed to eat some marie biscuits with black tea. The grapes and strawberries looked so appetizing, but she really couldn't eat more than that.
She placed the tray on the pedestal and covered the fruit with the serviette.
Her head pounded with pain, probably due to all the crying or because of delaying her meals.
She needed to apply that green balm that her mother had given her a while back.
She opened the draw and the first thing that caught her eye was a leather bound file that piqued her interest.
She took it out of the drawer right away and opened the first page.
Her mouth fell open, she flipped a few pages and then couldn't anymore.
What was this kind of file doing in Daanyal's room? In her pedestal draw? This couldn't be true! Daanyal was not that kind of a person, not at all!
Her heart sank.
How would she even approach him about this matter?
Waqaas watched from his room door as Naailah baffled over the file in her hand.
Daanyal must have forgotten to close the door after he left. Well, that was very good. Time for revenge Plan 01!
He knocked on the door that was left ajar.
"Can I come in Naailah."
She grabbed her scarf and wrapped it around her head.
She quickly shoved the file under the blanket.
"What do you want Waqaas?"
She asked sternly.
" I just need to talk!"
" I don't want to, nor need to talk to you. Please leave!"
He clenched his fist.
"Look Naailah I came to apologize, I'm really sorry. "
"Okay you're forgiven, now please leave."
Ouch that hurt. She didn't even want to hear his voice, forget see him!
"It's about the file!"
"What file?"
She asked in a shaky voice.
"The file you had in your hand."
"Are you spying on me?"
He sighed. "Your door was open, I saw it in your hand."
"Can I come in now?"
"No, say whatever you need to at the door. Neither I, nor Daanyal would like you to enter this room in your brother's absence. "
He scoffed. " You're worried ahout him, his rules and his limits, but he on the other hand breaks all rules, crosses all limits and is a two faced deceiver. That file is proof!"
Her heart pounded. Her mind begged her to think rationally...
No she couldn't just blindly believe Waqaas. He could have put this file here himself to make Daanyal look bad and cause issues in their marriage.
"How do you expect me to believe you? After what you've done and how you misbehaved with me!"
He growled in anger.
"Oh why is it so difficult to believe a guy like me? Just because I'm not as religious as Daanyal doesn't make me a liar! You think just because he puts on this religious act, he's innocent! It's all a front so that he can cover up his dark deeds. Don't believe me fine, but soon in the holiday season when his work load gets too stressful, he will need to de-stress. Let me assure you, he won't be coming home to de-stress, he will be going elsewhere. He will be coming home late very soon..."
Naailah swallowed the lump of anxiety. Her chest clenched due to all the stress she had been through lately. Her lips wobbled.
"Waqaas, please just leave me alone. You have no shame, trying to ruin your very own brother's marriage. Why is it so hard for you to accept reality? Please move on! I've always loved Daanyal and always will. I'm not so naive that I'll blindly belive all the filth you spew!"
Waqaas balled his hands into fists. "How easily you say I have no shame, just because you're married now. When you were single, you were very glad to mingle. You had no shame, openly flirted with me, laughed and joked with me. You gave me so much of hope and made me believe that you actually liked me in a different way, not in a brotherly way as you now claim."
This time tears did pour out of her eyes.
"Maaf kijiye, please forgive me Waqaas, but that was never my intention. I always thought we just had a friendly relationship. I never ever thought of it as flirting. I never ever looked at you in that way, and I never will."
He clicked his tongue in anger.
"Well, you should have listened to your mother then. There's no friendly relationships with a guy who is in love with you! Or any non-mahram for that matter! Keep the interaction basic, even if its necessary to interact. Even she knew that I liked you, but you apparently were too infatuated with Daanyal to notice."
She remained silent, unable to retort in any way.
He stared at her coldly.
"If you give birth to a girl make sure to teach her not to toy with one man's heart then marry another. If you don't teach her that, I will make sure to teach her that one day!"
Naailah shot him a venomous look.
"And if I have a son, I will teach him not to keep flirting and being friendly with a girl. If he truly likes her he should ask for her hand in marriage and not beat around the bush. If she refuses, he will be mentally prepared for her to be taken by someone else. But, if he keeps delaying, somone who is serious about marriage will ask her for her hand and he will not be able to face and accept reality!"
Waqaas was now left speechless.
What could he say? She did also have a point!
Naailah continued. She needed to get all this out.
"Jo huwa so huwa Waqaas! Whatever was meant to be has happened. This is taqdeer, we have to accept it wholeheartedly whether it be in our favor or against it. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not absolving myself. Yes, I was wrong to give you the wrong impression, even if it was done unintentionally. But, you should have been more vocal about what you felt, atleast then when I refused you directly, you would have already understood back then that I never envisioned that kind of a relationship with you and..."
Naailah stopped mid sentence when a memory struck her.
"Wait! Had I not mentioned to you before that I liked Daanyal! Yes, I mentioned it once at my parents house! And when we spoke over video call when you were in Pakistan, you knew I felt sad that Daanyal was about to marry another girl!!"
He turned his back to her.
"You cannot put all the blame on me now Waqaas! You knew from before! Yes, the Nikaah happened suddenly and was hard for you to digest. Maybe you had hope that you could win over my heart, but you already knew I didn't like you in that way. So don't act as if I am the only one who is wrong here!"
"As for your lecture about interacting with non mahrams! Yes, you are one hundred percent right and I really hope that you can take your own advise and stop speaking to me as well! It was a sin then and now it's an even bigger sin, as I'm your brother's wife, a married woman and your intentions are filled with malice and evil!!"
He banged the door behind him, leaving Naailah in a heap of hiccups and tears.
Unable to handle the stress any longer, she felt a sharp pain in her chest and before she could figure out what was happening, she was pulled into an abyss of darkness once again. It seemed like darkness was her new norm and kept welcoming her with open arms.
* * *
Assalamualaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu to my beautiful wattpad family. ❤ I hope you all are well, in the best of health and the best state of Imaan.
I'm really really sorry for being so scarce nowadays. What can I say! As you grow older, spare time becomes a luxury...Responsibilities increase and well you just can't always do the things you used to do when you were younger as often as before. Alhamdulillah I'm glad that amidst this crazy new life I still find the time to write once in a blue moon.
Jazakumullahu Khairan to all those who have been patiently waiting till now and I really appreciate those who have been messaging to check in on me and asking for a new update.
Lots of love❤
Juwayriyah