"Why?"
Aurelio's voice broken and softer than I had ever heard him speak. He sounded like a ghost of the man I knew him to be.
The moment was inevitable. I had known that from the start. I expected an attack; verbal or physical. What I had not factored in was the look of contempt, pain, and disappointment. I wished that I received a warning about the raid so I could have prepared myself better to look them in the eyes.
The raid was unusual. They gave me no time to prepare and I could have made sure my neighborhood was safe from any harm.
Deandre was huffing with fury while Aurelio looked like I had dropped the world on his shoulders. I did not feel good about anything, the gun in my hands was shaking as was my unsettled mind. I should raise it at them and demand that they get on the ground, but I couldn't do that to them.
"Eaton get the damn guns," one grunt yelled. I stood there stuck. Their words were familiar but held no meaning. I looked up at Parker, who had her gun trained at Deandre. I was so fucking stupid, she said I would get too close to them and I had. It was why they gave me no forewarning about the raid. I probably scared them into thinking I'd get them out of town.
I raised my gun for half a second but couldn't bring myself to point it at Aurelio who I was in love with or at Deandre who I was developing feelings for. He was not as warm or open to me as Aurelio. As I moved passed the surface layer, I found that he was a special person. At the same time we did not have a real relationship since they had known me in disguise.
I looked back up at Parker whose eyes were dark and hard set. The men held their rifles up, ready to shoot.
This only ends with them dead
It was the only way for this to end.
We will not allow them to walk away from this since we had broken so many standards, practices, and laws to get to where we were.
"You can't just gun them down. That's murder," I said. Parkers gun dipped for a split second before she opened her mouth to speak, "I knew that you would do this. Don't make me arrest you." All of this was a huge mess.
There were bodies all over my apartment, law enforcement personnel were trying to kill instead of detain, we had backed ourselves into a corner all for Scala to seek election. If any of this got out I would be a dead man.
"Scala got you guys to increase the pickup timeline the moment I left the office didn't he?" I asked. The men I had shared a bed with both stood quietly with their hands slightly raised. Nobody knew what would happen next. This was unprecedented.
"Yes," Parker answered. Her teeth ground together after she confirmed what I thought. "You caused unnecessary deaths and for what? Capturing two men I had under control for months, they weren't going anywhere."
"I think you love them being tethered to you. You fell in love with them. Look at you, not even able to raise your gun at the people who sell the same shit your mother kills herself with. You're in love with killers," She spat. She was changing the subject.
I crinkle my nose at the hypocrisy, "What are you about to do? Huh, braid their hair. No, you want to have me take their guns away so you can shoot them till their cold and then say they tried to attack. Why don't any of you have body cameras attached to your chests?"
"Are you going to take their guns or not?" The bearded agent interjected into the conversation. He aimed his rifle at Aurelio, who snapped his head at the man's tone. I knew what I wanted to say, but the words felt like acid when I tried to speak. I trained for years to be in the position I dreamed of and with the next few words all that work would disappear into nothing.
"I won't be part of this anymore, I can't help you do this." I thought saying the words would make everything better. I thought Deandre would meet my eyes or I could meet his, but it didn't. I had been complicit from the beginning. I had eagerly kept things off the books and circumvent protocol. This was my bed, and they would make me lay in it.
"Then get out the way," Parker said. She aimed for the space just above Deandre's heart so that when the reports came in on how he died, it would fit the story they had fabricated.
Raguel, the archangel of justice, fairness, and harmony. The name those who knew of her skill once called her. I saw why she hated that name. There was nothing fair or just about what we did. We had some sense of superiority, as if we weren't criminals with badges and license to kill.
Was I going to watch her kill the men I cared so deeply for? Could I watch them fall to the ground and bleed out on the street? The thought of watching their faces pressed to the dirt asphalt hurt me. I had to stop thinking and act. I raised my gun into the sky and pulled the trigger. The sound caught the agents' attention, but Aurelio and Deandre focused on raising their weapons.
"What are you going, I said get out the way if you want help—no—you want to help them instead of your comrades? Make sure your next move is what you really want to do. You could have advanced up the chain after this assignment if you just kept your heart out of the mission," Parker said. She was no longer calm, cool, and collected, instead she was a puma ready to pounce on her prey.
The reaction wasn't as surprising to me as some would have thought. I was going after her livelihood. We tried to pretend that we had a lot more going on as people than we really did, when in reality we usually became what we did for a living. Lawyers spouted their knowledge of the books that governed us. Doctor felt like gods as they talked about saving lives. Even freshman at ivy league schools had a false sense of superiority when they proclaimed the school they went to. Parker had the same sense of vanity. She tried to cover it up by being modest and not going by Raguel. But she was just like everyone else when it came down to it.
"I won't let you kill them, there has to be a way out of this where they can have a proper trial and the FBI won't look bad," I said. I had no solutions for the problem, a fatal flaw in trying to convince someone of your argument. I had watched my dad talk to his soldiers when I was young. He would preach the need to come up with solutions instead of complaining. Since I did not have a concrete way of getting out of this there was no reason to listen to me.
Parker pointed her gun at me, "Get on the ground Eaton, don't make this harder than it has to be."
"And what are you going to do to him," Deandre asked. Everyone had a gun on someone but me. Deandre and Aurelio focused on the two guards, so I pointed mine to Parker. This side was one of murder and drug dealing, but at least they were honest about who they were. I had worked so hard to get into the agency, but here I was looking at the opposite of what it meant to be an agent. Watching someone who mildly had my back become a person willing to follow orders she knew were wrong.
"I can't do that," I said. Parker nodded and pulled her trigger. I moved out of the way, and the bullet hit the car. We all started shooting at the opposite side. I pulled the trigger at the red-haired man who took the shot to the chest in stride. Aurelio ducked behind a dumpster and looked over at me for a half second before waving me over.
"I don't know what to say," I said as I crouched beside him. Bullets hit the metal dumpster and ricochet off somewhere unseen.
"I can't deal with you right now, don't fucking die. Is Deandre hit?" I looked over at Deandre who was on the opposite side of the small alleyway engaging all three of them.
"Yes, but it isn't serious, a bullet grazed him." I kept talking to a minimum. Aurelio looked up from me to the room, and his eyes bulged. Without saying a word, he snatched my gun and shot it before returning it to me.
"A sniper, they should have placed more around here."
"Take her down while I get the bearded guy. We he only have a limited amount of bullets so make them count" He said before rolling and began shooting. It was like watching a video game. Deandre and Aurelio had trained like soldiers. They looked at each other for a few moments in silent conversation and seemed to have made a plan. Aurelio ducked and dived, missing bullets before he was up on the bearded agent during a reload. The agent pulled out a knife, giving up on his gun and swiped at Aurelio who narrowly missed getting gutted. He turned, and I saw his white shirt stained with someone else's blood and had a big cut above his navel. I gulped, fearing he could lose the fight.
Deandre did the same as Aurelio. He waited for the red-haired agent to reload and rushed him. He shot his gun until it clicked empty, not wanting to lose the weapon he grabbed it by the butt and began swinging it like a sword. The red-haired man tried diving out of the way but got clipped in the back of the head and fell to the ground. Deandre descended on him and began slamming his head on the pavement. The body armor protected him from the potentially fatal attack, but he was still in a terrible predicament. I saw Parker turn the gun on Deandre and got up.
"Don't," I shouted and did another warning shot. She turned to me enraged while pointing her gun toward me and shooting. I jumped out of the way and let off a shot in her direction. I was attacking a fellow agent.
I'm a traitor.
I took another shot, aiming for her legs, but she continued unfazed. Instead, she ran over in my direction and began shooting. I ducked, kept my head close to my body and tried to shoot again, but the magazine was empty. Tossing the gun in her direction, I closed the distance, and she ducked the now harmless chunk of metal. When she was close enough, I grabbed for her weapon and held the barrel away from my body.
She looked me in the eyes but said nothing. Though this was a fight to the death her yes held no hate towards me. She looked disappointed that the altercation was happening. She tried to tug on the gun, but I was stronger than her. Our legs tangled in failed attempts at tripping one another. She twisted her body, and her elbow crashed into my jaw. I shook my head, feeling the area pulse in pain. Another twist and the other elbow hit me in the nose causing blood to fall on my mustard colored shirt.
I released the gun and threw a punch, knocking her back. She raised and pulled the trigger without a word at point blank range. My chest expanded, ready to take my final breath. I was expecting my life to flash before my eyes, but all I could see was Deandre trying to choke his competitor, and Aurelio now in control of the agent's hand. The knife was close to puncturing the guy's throat, who was not giving up. I closed my eyes, knowing that they were winning and would have the chance of making it out safely.
Click
The gun was out of bullets. I opened my eyes and saw Parker snarl before tossing the gun aside. She reached for her stun gun and let out a shot; I had fast reflexes, so it was easier than it would have been for most to get out of the way. She dropped the second useless weapon and pulled out a retractable baton.
She rushed me and swung the black rod made of metal at my head. I leaned back and grabbed her wrist, at the same time almost getting clubbed in the head. She tried to punch me, but I threw my fist quicker and hit her in the mouth. Blood spurted, we were both bleeding now. I punched again but missed and fell forward. I knew what she would do before she even moved; I wished knowing stopped the thing from happening. Alas, she used my momentum to flip me over on the ground and got on top of me. The baton was on my neck in a second. I tried to push up and keep air flowing in my lungs, but I knew she would win, eventually.
Her head turned to see how her companions were doing, and she grimaced. I looked around and saw the gun she discarded barely outside my arms reach. I looked at Parker's body and saw her utility belt. On her right side was a full magazine. I knew what to do, I just had to push forward and not think about it. I gathered my strength and thrust my hips upward, causing her to bounce. Using her confusion, I leaned on my left and grabbed the gun and used my other hand to pull the magazine from her belt. She put the baton at my neck without resistance.
I dumped the old magazine. The sound caught her attention, but it was far too late. With restricted oxygen it was hard to focus on putting the new magazine in, but I managed before placing her gun at her stomach and shooting. The sound so close made my ears ring and the scent of blood and gunpowder made for a gag worthy mix. She fell off of me and to the side.
I had killed no one before. The finality of it all was so profound that it was almost impossible to describe. I took a deep breath and looked in her eyes while she looked up at me, a face full of betrayal.
"I'm sorry," I uttered. Blood fell from her lips and fell on my face. Sirens wailed in the background and I knew I wouldn't have much time to be sentimental. Stomping on the pavement alerted me to my... the guys I had lied to coming close. I turned over just in time to see a boot coming towards my face, Deandre's boot. And in an instant I was out.