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Jungkook
hey taehyungie, you free today?
Jungkook frowned to himself after sending the text. Maybe he shouldn't. Meeting up with Taehyung meant Jungkook was letting something from his past pull him back. Something which hurt him pull him back.
No response, so Jungkook just huffed and trudged to his bedroom, the smell of cookies overwhelming to his senses. He just wanted to scarf them down, but knew he couldn't. Instead he'd just sit on his bed and read or something.
But when his phone dinged, Jungkook picked it up expecting it to be Chris, but grinned when he saw it was Taehyung.
Taehyung
yep ):
Jungkook
wanna hang out?
Taehyung
fuck yeah
Jungkook giggled at his comment, and they both texted and decided some details. Both decided on a time and place, and Jungkook felt happy, excited, didn't know why but he was just happy to leave the house.
He rushed to his washroom and quickly took a bath and did some quick makeup and then decided to get dressed. Jungkook wore his usual fancy pretty tight pants and a sheer black top and a leopard print thick coat. Casual.
Jungkook greeted the maid on her way out, and then walked out his house and into his car driven by the driver. Jungkook told him the address, and he drove.
Jungkook reached this small french looking cafe in a part of town he doesn't go to often. It was where he met Taehyung for the first time (in New York). He felt ridiculously out of place when he entered it, eyes setting on him and probably scoffing, assuming it's some rich kid.
Jungkook saw Taehyung leaning near the cashier, talking to him. Taehyung turned around, and upon seeing Jungkook, he grinned. Taehyung walked up to Jungkook. "You really didn't have to get all dressed up, Kook." Taehyung chuckled, and Jungkook shrugged sheepishly- leaning in to hug him.
Taehyung hugged him back and pulled away, smiling at the smaller boy. "Let's get a table." Taehyung suggested, and Jungkook nodded and they both sat down in a table in the corner. Seemingly, Taehyung had already ordered, because the waiter came and set two drinks and two brownies.
"Tae.. you know I can't-" Jungkook started softly, and Taehyung sighed. "I know I know- just try the drink at least."
Jungkook grabbed the glass with the pink drink in it, and giggled. "Is this strawberry milkshake?"
"Yup. For my- for Kookie." Taehyung said, and Jungkook giggled again, digging his straw in. He took a sip, and hummed lightly, pleased with the drink. He was gonna take another sip, but then gasped.
"Oh shit- I can't have dairy milk." Jungkook said, and Taehyung frowned. "What? What do you have, then?"
"Almond milk.. or Soya-" Jungkook started, and Taehyung rolled his eyes, which made Jungkook nudge his foot from underneath. "Heyy.. don't be mean. I just don't wanna gain weight." Jungkook explained.
"Why?" Taehyung asked, and Jungkook pursed his lips. "Because! I look better skinny." Jungkook explained, and Taehyung scoffed.
"You look better when you get to eat the food you want to eat. Anyways, where's your boyfriend?" Taehyung asked, not letting Jungkook see the cringe in his voice upon saying those words.
Jungkook fiddled with his fingers, watching as Taehyung took a sip of his own drink. "He- um- he had to go London for some work. He'll back in January. I might go to London next week, though." Jungkook added, and Taehyung pouted.
"You're all alone and your boyfriend is overseas? Oh no that's so sad." Taehyung said, and Jungkook pursed his lips and nudged Taehyung's foot harder, making Taehyung laugh.
"I'm kidding, Kook. Wait- will you be alone for Christmas?" Taehyung asked, and Jungkook sighed. "I hope not."
There was a small silence, to which Taehyung took the opportunity and sat up a little. "Hey if you want- um- we can hang out? On Christmas or something, if-if you're alone. If you want to- I mean, I'm pretty free all winter." Taehyung chuckled, and Jungkook's eyes lit up.
"R-really? Sure! I'm pretty free all winter too.." Jungkook said, and Taehyung gave him a small smile.
Conversation was fluid, flowed into them easily. Even after being away for 3 years there wasn't any awkwardness, just smooth conversation which made both of them laugh and smile. Taehyung was a little upset because Jungkook looked hungry, so they both got up and Taehyung took him to a nearby vegan place.
"But you don't like this kind of food." Jungkook said, and Taehyung had his hands fitted in the pockets of his black jeans.
"Yeah, but you do. And I wasn't gonna let you starve, Kook." Taehyung snickered, and Jungkook blushed lightly.
They sat down on a small booth and Jungkook ordered Avocado pasta, while Taehyung just looked at the menu and groaned. "So does vegan cheese taste like normal cheese?"
The waiter sighed. "Beats me, man. I just work here." The guy replied, and Taehyung sighed. "I'll have the began pizza then." Taehyung said, and Jungkook felt bad, looking down.
"M'sorry. We- we can go someplace else if you want.. I-I don't-" Jungkook started, but Taehyung reached forward and grabbed his smaller hand. "Don't worry Kooksie. It's just one meal. I'll survive." Taehyung joked it off, and Jungkook nodded apprehensively, feeling Taehyung's larger hand on his.
"So- um- what did you do? After you became better, in the hospital?" Jungkook asked, pulling his hand back ever so slightly. Taehyung didn't notice his tenseness, and just hummed, taking a sip of his water.
"Booked a flight to Chicago." Taehyung said, and Jungkook frowned. "Wait, didn't you come to America last year?"
Taehyung nodded, and Jungkook tilted his head. "You were in the hospital for two years?" Jungkook asked, and Taehyung let out an awkward chuckle.
"Well, no- I mean- um- no. I just- y'know. Here and there." Taehyung said, and Jungkook took a sip of his water as well. "Here and there?"
"Odd jobs to make money and stuff." Taehyung said, and Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows. "But- didn't you tell me the police was after you?"
"Yeah.. I mean- odd jobs like-" Taehyung started, but Jungkook looked more confused. "How could you do odd jobs if the police was after you? Plus- didn't Jimin and Yoongi get out in six months and come here? You didn't get taken in by the police?"
"No," Taehyung responded, finally. "I wasn't in a state to be taken to jail." Taehyung said.
"Even after you recovered-"
"Jungkook, seriously, I rather not talk about this. It was a really shit time for me and I don't remember every thing clearly- okay?" Taehyung snapped, and then saw how Jungkook flinched at his tone, and nodded.
"Um, y-yeah. Sorry." Jungkook said in a small voice, and Taehyung instantly took a deep breath, gulping.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just- I'm sorry, Koo. Don't get upset. I just don't wanna talk about it, y'know?" Taehyung said softly, and Jungkook looked at him wearily and nodded.
"Yeah. It's fine, you don't have to apologise." Jungkook said with a small smile, and Taehyung raised his eyebrow. "I yelled at you, though."
"I said dumb stuff. That's why you yelled. It's fine." Jungkook said, and Taehyung scoffed.
"You didn't- you never say dumb stuff, Jungkook. Don't say that," Taehyung said, smiling a little, and Jungkook looked at him with eyes growing big.
Their food arrived, put on the table mats in front of them, waiter giving them a quick nod. Taehyung looked at Jungkook. "Now let's just move past this. You tell me- how did you and Chris meet?"
"Well, I needed a job. And this woman got me a job as an assistant to an asisstant, which sounded stupid at the time. Basically, I was Holiday's assistant. She had bigger fish to fry, so I did small stuff like got mail from the mail room and coffee and stuff." Jungkook explained, and Taehyung chuckled.
"I'm guessing he saw you and instantly fell in love." Taehyung said, and then let out a sigh. "Been there done that,"
Jungkook giggled, nudging his feet under the table. "Oh please, Tae. You did not instantly fall in love with me. You fell in love with me ages later." Jungkook said, and Taehyung's face faltered.
"I'm still glad I did." Taehyung replied, and Jungkook looked into his brown eyes and blushed a little, and then cleared his throat.
"A-anyways. So Holiday had to go back home because her mother fell ill, and instead of getting a new assistant, he asked me to do the stuff Holiday does. I was like, really bad." Jungkook giggled sheepishly. "I spilled coffee over his papers and mixed up his schedule. If I did that now, he would-" Jungkook started, and then stopped before he said something stupid.
"He'd get mad?" Taehyung asked, and Jungkook nodded. "Seems to get mad a lot." Taehyung said, and Jungkook took a bite of his pasta.
"He's always so busy and has so much work and has to deal with many people. So I don't expect him to always be in a good mood." Jungkook said, and Taehyung snickered.
"I used to get mad a lot too. You always put me in a good mood," Taehyung said, taking a bite of his pizza, and Jungkook just blushed again.
"A-anways- even though I kept messing up as his assistant, he was really nice to me. He was 36 at the time, and I was really scared of him. But he kept calling me pretty and took me out to dinner one night. And after that, well, I dated him for two weeks and-and moved into his house."
"After two weeks?" Taehyung asked with a frown, and Jungkook frowned at his frown. "Well- Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson got engaged after dating for two weeks!"
Taehyung looked confused. "Who?"
"Oh my god, Tae." Jungkook giggled. "You live under a rock."
Taehyung looked offended, and playfully scoffed. "No, you just have way too much free time."
"True." Jungkook sighed, and then bit his lip.
"But I moved in with him really quickly because h-he was nice, y'know? And- and he told me he'd like to have someone in the house because he gets lonely. He told me I didn't have to work anymore, and I could live in his house and he'd pay for everything I needed." Jungkook said, and Taehyung hummed.
"And when did he propose?" Taehyung asked, and Jungkook looked at the big ring on his hand, smiling a little. "Two months ago." Jungkook said softly.
"If-if we'd made it out alive, I was planning to propose as well." Taehyung admitted shyly, and Jungkook's eyebrows raised, doe eyes becoming big.
"R-really?" Jungkook squeaked, and Taehyung nodded, letting out a small laugh. "But good thing we separated, right? You found Chris," Taehyung said, and Jungkook paused for a second.
"Yeah." Jungkook just said, and Taehyung hummed, both letting the silence allow them to take in more food.
"So, how'd he propose?" Taehyung asked, and Jungkook wiped the corner of his lips with the tissue on the side.
"We went out for dinner to a fancy place. End of the night, when everyone else was gone, he showed me a velvet box and opened it, and it had this ring inside of it." Jungkook said, and Taehyung smiled a little, though Jungkook wasn't sure if he was smiling out of happiness.
"M'guessing he got down on his knee and all that." Taehyung said simply, but Jungkook snickered. "No no. He's not that type of a guy."
Taehyung snickered in return. "Not the type of guy to get down on his knee to propose?"
Taehyung asked with a tilted head, which made Jungkook look down hesitantly.
"How were you planning to propose?" Jungkook asked, and Taehyung looked at him, and Jungkook swore he saw a glint of regret in Taehyung's eyes.
Taehyung just chuckled. "Guess you'll never know," Taehyung responded, and Jungkook frowned for a second, but the waiter came up to him and interrupted them with the bill.
And after that they were done, and were walking out of the restaurant, leaving unfinished topics unfinished. The cold outside made Jungkook shiver a little, so Taehyung put his arm around Jungkook's waist, and the action made Jungkook tense up a little. "Where's your car?"
"Um- around here somewhere. Let me just call the driver." Jungkook said, and then took out his phone to call the driver up. Jungkook quickly told him to come to the restaurant, and then turned to face Taehyung. "You have your bike, right?"
Taehyung nodded with a small fond smile, and Jungkook nodded, cutting the phone and putting it back into his jeans. "You have plans for tomorrow?" Taehyung asked, and Jungkook shook his head.
"Me neither." Taehyung said, and then there was a small silence.
The car pulled up on the street, and Jungkook looked at Taehyung, gulping. "Do you wanna meet up tomorrow?"
"Yes." Taehyung blurted out rather quickly, making Jungkook giggle.
"Okay. Where?" Jungkook asked, and Taehyung shrugged. "You can come over to my place."
"Your place?" Jungkook asked, and Taehyung nodded, and then chuckled out seeing the doubt on Jungkook's face. "It doesn't smell like beans anymore, if you were wondering."
Jungkook giggled. "I hope so." Jungkook said, and then grinned. "Sure. I'll come over to your place." Jungkook squeaked, and Taehyung grinned back.
The older boy leaned over, wrapping his arms around Jungkook's waist. "Bye." Both said at the same time, Jungkook wrapped his arms around Taehyung's neck. They were there for a while, but Jungkook heard the brash honk of the car and jumped a little, and then waved at Taehyung and rushed into his car.
_____________________
Jungkook was sitting on his couch, in peach panties, drinking some organic juice he decided to drink instead of eating a proper dinner. He was watching Queer Eye on his tv, feeling awfully alone. His phone began ringing, and Jungkook grinned and picked it up, placing the juice on the table and lying on the sofa on his back.
"Daddy~" Jungkook said softly, and then heard some shuffling on the other side.
"Kook, I told you I would be busy, right? Stop calling me through out the day," Chris' voice snapped from the other side, and Jungkook tensed.
"I-I just called twice.. b-because it's late there right now.. and I thought to call earlier-" Jungkook tried saying, but then heard Chris grunt, and shut up.
"Call me around this time or in the mornings. Anyways- is everything alright?" Chris asked.
Jungkook hummed. "Yeah. Just feelin' lonely." Jungkook pouted through the phone, and heard Chris hum in response from the other side.
"Went out today?"
Jungkook bunched his fingers up, picking on his polished cuticles. "Yeah. With a friend." Jungkook said softly, and let his shoulders fall in relief when Chris didn't continue asking about that.
"How's London?" Jungkook asked, running his fingers up his smooth calf. "Cold." Chris replied, the tone of his voice the same as his answer.
"Oh. Does daddy miss me?" Jungkook squeaked cutely, and then heard a hum. Clearly Chris was busy doing something, not paying attention to the phone call.
"Baby- you remember what happened last time I went for one of these long trips, right? I came back and you looked like a chubby little bunny," Chris laughed to himself, and Jungkook tugged on his bottom lip, feeling self conscious.
"Yeah.. I won't-" Jungkook started, but Chris continued. "Just watch for it, princess. You've still got a bit of a tummy. There's so many pretty girls here in London, and they're all neat and thin and dainty," Chris said, and Jungkook gulped, heart hammering in his chest, stomach turning.
"O-oh. Well- I-I was just t-trying this juice thing. And- and for lunch I ate vegan-" Jungkook tried saying, but Chris continued.
"Don't want to see your fat little cheeks like I had to last time," Chris snickered, and Jungkook looked down, gripping the phone tightly. "Y-you won't." Jungkook squeaked, feeling insecurity build up in his chest.
"Good. See, look how nice things can be when you just listen to me and do as I say?" Chris said, all in good sense, but Jungkook didn't like that comment, but felt himself agreeing before he could decide what Chris said.
"Yes daddy." Jungkook replied, voice coming out soft. He didn't like how Chris made him feel so bad about himself sometimes. Made him feel so insecure and ugly, like he should eat way less than he already is.
"There's my baby girl. Okay, daddy's gonna go now, okay? Goodnight, princess." Chris said, and Jungkook hummed from the other side. "Goodnight. Love you." Jungkook replied, and Chris cut the call.
Jungkook dropped his phone on the couch, tears rising in his eyes. Dumb, so fucking dumb, and not pretty. Jungkook sniffled, tears began rolling down his cheeks, and he wiped them off hastily. But remembering there was no one else in the house, Jungkook allowed the tears to roll down, letting out soft cries.
He reached his hands to his mouth, crying into them. Being alone didn't make him happy. He felt alone all the time, whether Chris was there a lot. It put a feeling in his gut, a feeling he's had since he first started dating Chris. A feeling he's always pushed away, but a feeling which comes back like bile.
Jungkook rushed to the kitchen, grabbing a cupboard door and swinging it open, taking the jar of chocolate chip cookies he made that morning. Jungkook felt tears rushing down his face as he cracked the jar open and bit into one of the cookies, feeling ashamed, so so fucking stupid.
And like that, he ate another cookie, and another and another, crying the whole time, falling onto the floor like a sobbing mess. He was being so fucking stupid, such a fucking mess. He felt sick, ever since that day where he desperately needed to find the medicine, he felt sick.
He walked out of the kitchen, feeling cookie crumbs on his lips. He felt disgusting.
He grabbed his phone, practically shaking. His eyes were blurred as he called Chris, and the phone rang once, twice, and then-
"Hello?"
Jungkook let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "T-Tae-" Jungkook whispered, falling onto the couch. "I-I didn't mean t-to call you- I-I-"
"Hey, hey- it's fine, relax. Are you alright? You-you don't sound too good, Koo," Taehyung said, sounding worried from the other side.
Jungkook sniffled. "T-Tae I'm- s-so f-fucking dumb- and- and u-useless-" Jungkook let out, letting out a broken cry. "M'o-only good for one- one thing, and- a-and I can't even d-do that well. C-couldn't do anything well. T-this is why m-my father hated m-me, a-and why Chris g-gets mad at me- a-and why you left-"
"Dollie," Taehyung said softly, and for some reason his voice calmed Jungkook down. "Breathe for me, please."
Jungkook did, breathing in and out slowly. "I didn't leave you. If I had a choice, baby, I would've never left you." Taehyung continued, and Jungkook could hear the heaviness in his tone.
"Tae," Jungkook squeaked, breathless.
"You-you're so fucking beautiful, dollie." Taehyung whispered, and Jungkook felt tears rising in his eyes again, slowly lying down on his bed.
"I-I am?" Jungkook asked, and heard Taehyung chuckle from the other side.
"Most beautiful. And- so-so fucking perfect. You're everything, Koo, don't think you're not. Not dumb or useless at all."
Jungkook could feel his mind slipping, could feel the shit that he'd kept away from his mind, that he'd stopped from entering his mind, it all came back so slowly, and he needed sleep.
"K-Kookie-" Jungkook let out, and heard Taehyung pause on the other side. "Kookie's sleepy," Jungkook squeaked, and then heard Taehyung gulp.
"Koo, are you drunk?"
"Nooo- Koo just-" Jungkook started, and then gripped the sofa, his eyes widening a bit. "T-Tae- fuck- it-it's coming back-"
"What? Jungkook, are you alright?"
Jungkook could feel it, feel the tightness in his stomach and the dryness in his mouth. "I-I need to go." Jungkook let out, and then cut the call, phone dropping on the carpeted floor.
Jungkook ran up to his bathroom, opened a cabinet, took out a little box. The box had a bottle of medicine, and some other things scattered inside that he'd stored away. Things like a small stuffed bunny, and a picture of Taehyung. Jungkook grabbed the medicine bottle and took out two pills.
He gulped them down his throat, swallowing it down with water, and then sighed. He looked at the mirror, breathing heavily, feeling the tightness and dryness slowly cascade away.
I need to call her, Jungkook thought, before somehow making it to his bed and falling- falling asleep instantly.
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bet yall confused but sis thas the point!!! eat it up