"What do I do..... to make you want me... What have I got to do..... to be heard." The soft melody of the piano my fingers have happily played for quite some time, filled my ears with the softest sound while my words rung out around me like a haunting voice, reminding me of that little girl in so much pain, longing for her mom and dad to want her. To love her. Holding out hope that someday, they would come for her, hold her so tightly to them and never let her go. But you see the funny thing is, that was just a fairytale a little girl made up years ago to warm her at night. Because she was born with so much hope.
"What do I do.... to make you love me...." And as my eyes lingered on my fingers softly playing away, soothing me somehow, I slowly looked up to see Taron standing in the doorway, his handsome, little smile showing. Usually, I would have stopped playing all together because someone was watching me. But amazingly, I kept going.
"Sorry seems to be the hardest word....." I slowly came to a halt, pressing the last key with a little sigh escaping my lips. I met with him. My dad. And it went exactly like I pictured it would. Awkward, not really knowing what to say, all the hurt and anger I've held for years just wanted to burst out of its cage, screaming in his face and asking, why? Why didn't you want me?
"That was beautiful love." He came to sit next to me on the bench that held so many memories of me as a little girl with Uncle Elton teaching me how to play for the first time. And Uncle David sitting next to me with their eyes locking together in the most loving way. And as my eyes locked with Taron's, I felt it. Love. True love that I thought would be impossible to find.
"It felt good to get it out. Last night was a mess Tar..... you know he only wanted to talk to me to get a job....?" My eyes started to water all over again, just remembering our exchange. And when it was all over, it felt like lightening had struck my heart, shattering it into a million pieces.
"He has no idea what he's missing out on. You're the most beautiful, smart, loving, kind woman I've ever met in my life. And if he can't see that, then he didn't deserve you in the first place." I softly wrapped my arms around Taron, laying my head on his shoulder with my tears softly pouring out, the first time I've cried since leaving the cafe we met at, hearing that question ringing in my mind over and over. He didn't even ask how I've been, or anything about me at all. Just cut straight to the chase. And to say I was heartbroken, was an understatement.
"Darling, Betty left him for many reasons. He was terrible to her, and she just didn't want you around him. But like you, me, anyone who's willing to believe there is good left in people like him, she wanted to believe he had changed. And sadly, he didn't. But he should have never done this to you." Uncle Elton wrapped his arms around us in his comforting manner that I love so so much.
"At least I can say I conquered it. I went for it, and found out the truth. No matter how much it hurt to face him. Some people just aren't meant to be in your life." My eyes lingered on a picture, beautifully framed on the wall in Uncle Elton and Uncle David's sitting room, of all of us smiling and having a good time. Zachary and Elijah were sitting on my lap, Uncle Elton and Uncle David had us wrapped in their arms. And I looked happier than I had ever been. And I was. Because this reminded me, that is my family. I understand why Betty did what she did. For so long I wanted to believe she just simply didn't want me or didn't love me. But that's not it at all. She did it because she did love me. And just wanted a better life for me.
"You've come a long way from the shy girl that knocked on my door scared out of her mind." Taron's little joking tone made me laugh for the first time today, and it felt incredible. How he does this to me, I'll never understand. But he's right. I've grown a lot because of this. I have this massive family that means the world to me. The best people in the world who have brought me out of my shell, wants me to succeed and do the things I love without fear. There's always going to be those who would love to see you fail, who love to bring you pain. But that's the thing. This is my story. And I have a Hercules on my side. And he has no idea just what he means to me.
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I can't believe just how close we are to finishing the film. The thought alone seems so incredibly crazy to me, considering it feels like only yesterday that we started. That's how much fun this has been. It's not a job to me. It's my life. My passion. And I just happen to be doing it with the most important people in my life.
"Look at you Elton Jr! Coming straight out of Oz." Taron chuckled with his handsome as ever smile showing on his gorgeous face I can't get enough of. Filming had begun earlier in the day and it was lift off from there. I threw myself into the work, having a good time with everyone, sketching different scenes. It was one of the most pivotal moments in my uncles life. He was so close to seeking help. He was at his breaking point and had a terrifying scare that could have resulted in horrible things. But he thankfully came out on the other side, just like the fighter he's always been. But to see first hand, just how much heartache and pain he felt over the years, was a reflection. Killing the person you were, to become the person you were meant to be. Hiding behind a persona to fight off that person you so desperately ran from so you wouldn't have to face it any longer. Then to have your parents treat you so cruelly for it? Is a horrible feeling. But that's the thing. You can't run forever. You have to face the music. That's why I finally took Uncle Elton's advice. Don't run. Embrace. And you'll find that you're happier with it, knowing you finally faced it.
"Well I do dress to impress my lady. Now, would you like all the ice creams this place has to offer?" I chuckled a little from his posh tone, looping arms with him, leaning up to leave a kiss to his cheek. I honestly felt content. Content with my life, my family, work, everything just felt so.... right. I was finally embracing it all. Embracing myself.
"Taron!" I couldn't keep the smile off of my face from Rosie and Mari yelling his name from across the way, clearly excited to see their big brother. And from the look on his face, he felt exactly the same! I was thrilled when he told me his mum and the girls were coming today.
"Now is that Katie? We've talked so many times that i feel like we're practically family." Her joking tone put a smile to my lips as we gave each other huge hugs, so incredibly happy to finally be meeting her in person. Tina is the sweetest.
"You have no idea how excited I was when Taron told me you guys were coming!" She chuckled with a loving smile on her face, before giving a kiss and a hug to Taron. Seeing him this happy put a smile on my face that wouldn't stop growing. And as the night went on, finishing up some scenes and wrapping up for the night, we all went out to dinner, laughed, talked about when Taron was little. I laughed so hard at one point that Taron literally pinched my leg under the table as payback. Bugger....
"Katie! You're the coolest." I couldn't stop smiling at the girls, eating ice cream and joking around with them, just having fun. My eyes locked with Taron's at one point and to see the huge smile on his lips, looking at me with this unknown look in his eyes, I felt on top of the world. I have all the family and love I could ever possibly imagine. This was just another reminder of that. And all because of Rocketman.