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it took him hours of sitting with y/n for him to realize she wasn't waking up. her parents even left him alone in the room that had become eerily quiet. his hands that were stained with the red from y/n's stomach still cupped her face that was cooled and he didn't think he could cry anymore by the time he left the room.
her parents had informed him of what was going to take place. the funeral would take place in a few days at most, as they had already had time to previously plan. they also informed him of something y/n gifted him with- but her parents were very set on not giving it to him until it was time. he didn't know what that even meant and he couldn't think straight with the constant, violent throbbing of his headache that had been going strong for a while now.
it took him a few hours to get himself somewhat situated. his parents were out for the night, lucky him because he really didn't feel like talking about the entire situation with anyone for at the moment.
it wasn't until his phone vibrated beside him on his nightstand a few times, again and again like an alarm- he was forced to pick up the device to shut it off, but paused when he read an alarm that he didn't set.
'cute purple sleepyhead! the documents!!!'
the alarm was named and he could feel his heart pick up at the words. y/n set that alarm. it was like stab to his chest because it felt like she had just texted him or something. he could almost hear her voice say the words and he did want to hear her voice again - now he could...
was that a good idea?
he turned off the alarm and stared at the screen for a few moments. even if it wasn't a good idea, he would still do it. he wanted to hear her voice again. maybe the documents would make her death feel more complete? it was all sudden, very sudden. he needed closure.
maybe that's what the documents were for.
hitoshi reached over for his headphones, connecting them to his device, then slid into his gallery and saw the 9 videos stored on the device. some had to have been sent by email and organized into one spot at the last minute or something because y/n didn't always have his phone.
staring at them with formatting and everything. of course there was formatting to simple documents. that was so y/n. he tapped on the oldest one and leaned in closer to the screen, pressing the volume button to hear better.
more tears, a worse headache, and an aching throat, he watched the girl, holding the device to her face with a smile, and he could see himself in the background with her phone in his hand, completely and utterly clueless that his time with the girl was limited.
⇢˚⋆ ✎ ˎˊ- ✧ document one !
✦ for ꒰ cute purple sleepyhead ꒱ includes...
"hitoshi shinsou," the girl said quietly, she leaned in closer. "it's really soon, and hard to tell, but i think im in love with you." y/n giggled softly to herself, "i-" hitoshi paused the video, his eyes wide, breathing rapid. that was her. she was alive and she seemed so happy even when she knew she would die. okay, the documents were a bad idea.
but at the same time, he felt cold and alone with the paused video. her voice was warm and he wanted that again. he found it hard to continue the video, his finger shaking as he hit the 'unpause' button, her voice filling his ears, painfully.
"-know, i know. it's only been like, what? not even a week! but i just have this feeling... okay- anyways! if you're watching this, it means im dead. duh i mean, that's a given... but im here to tell you why you shouldn't be sad about it! the first reason is because: if you were there with me... well then, i died happy. unless i died without you kissing me at least once! and for extra measures, i'll give you a kiss of my own!" y/n got close to the screen and it went black for a few seconds. "muah!"
"y/n! ew, what are you doing? don't kiss my phone!"
"oh shit, past you is mad- gotta blast!"
hitoshi kept his eyes on the now black screen, not noticing he was crying again until his tears dropped onto the screen.
how was he not supposed to be sad? that wasn't possible. after fourteen days of his heart building around his relationship with y/n, it shattered in a few minutes because of one dumb quirk. was she going to teach him more on how not to be sad in the videos?
he wanted to know how to stop crying. he would do anything to get rid of the weird weight that sat on his chest, aching and striking a pain whenever he breathed. he sighed, clenching his jaw, and clicking the next video, wiping away his tears to see y/n clearly.
⇢˚⋆ ✎ ˎˊ- ✧ document two !
✦ for ꒰ cute purple sleepyhead ꒱ includes...
"HITOSHI I AM POSITIVE I LOVE YOU NOW!" y/n's loud, shouting voice made him jump, his eardrums immediately throbbed in pain, but he didn't turn down the volume. the louder and clearer he heard her voice, the closer he felt. he smiled and her excitement, wondering what happened that day, "i can't believe you actually got me to sleep! i can't believe it, i feel so refreshed and grateful to have you! thank you... but i talked to aizawa-sensei afterward. he told me he couldn't do it against since there was a possibility my heart might've slowed when he took away my quirk for a little. which is sad, but i'm glad. and this is another reason you shouldn't be sad: i've accomplished the only thing on my bucket list! sleep. it's the one thing i've always wanted. so know, that you helped me be content with life before it ended... thank you!"
"you're welcome..." hitoshi muttered, the screen went black again.
⇢˚⋆ ✎ ˎˊ- ✧ document three !
✦ for ꒰ cute purple sleepyhead ꒱ includes...
"you told me you got into the hero course today!" y/n said as soon as the video popped up. "i'm so proud of you, you're doing what you've wanted for so long! you're getting there, and nothing can stop you now! and i do mean nothing." y/n laughed to herself and was quiet for a moment, something in her eyes that made hitoshi feel sad, too.
she turned back toward the camera, "you know, you made me a little sad today when we were talking. you told me you wished i could transfer with you. so we could both be in there next year... haha. i wish there was a next year, hitoshi. but there's not. and another reason i don't want you to be sad is because right now, i probably am your guardian angel. maybe i'm watching you right now, either way, i would never leave you alone if i had the chance to stay. personally, i believe after death, i'll be given a choice and... just be comforted in knowing, that i chose to stay with you. also you called me lovely today!"
she perked up again and hitoshi smiled.
"you can't do stuff like that! i'll die of excitement before my quirk even gets to me if you do! okay, anyways - just don't be sad! okay? i promise, promise you, i'll always be there!"
shivers ran down his spine at the word 'promise.' he remembered when he promised to save her. he really thought he could, too. hitoshi ran his fingers through his messy hair, "promise." he rolled the word on his tongue and looked down into his lap, tugging on his strands.
this was just getting harder.
⇢˚⋆ ✎ ˎˊ- ✧ document four !
✦ for ꒰ cute purple sleepyhead ꒱ includes...
"you kissed me today." y/n said quietly, a small smile sat on her lips and hitoshi's eyes widened as he remembered that moment, clearer than the others. y/n sighed dreamily, "i've never been kissed before, but even so- that was the best kiss i've ever had. you asked me and you were so gentle, too. i want to kiss you again! because it made me feel happy and comforted. i felt warm in my stomach and for a minute, i forgot that i'm dying, and that's another reason to not be sad. i'm dying and you make me feel like im not. like im just living and all of these amazing experiences are being thrown at me and the best feeling in the world is forgetting i have anything to worry about. i feel... alive with you."
ironic.
hitoshi felt alive with her, too. more alive and more awake than he ever felt before. now, he was without her. he certainly didn't feel alive anymore.
⇢˚⋆ ✎ ˎˊ- ✧ document five !
✦ for ꒰ cute purple sleepyhead ꒱ includes...
"i can't believe you made me cry today!" y/n whined, "jeez, just know i'm not depressed about my situation, seriously. it's really sad and it's a heavyweight to carry around all the time, but... i mean, what's the point in dwelling on something you can't change, right? don't be sad, hitoshi. your sadness can't magically bring me back to life and your tears shouldn't be wasted on someone who is happy where they are. i mean, i'm probably beaming up in heaven right now! or maybe i'm an angel, by your side haha..."
like it often did, her expression dropped and entire demeanor shifted from something so carefree and weightless to something dark and heavy. burdening.
"you kissed me again." hitoshi was suprised that was the reason for her mood shift, "and i guess i should've been happy- well, i mean i was! i was! but... it was sad. you were crying and i don't think you could tell, i mean you probably thought they were my tears. but i didn't start crying until you promised that you would save me- you held my pinky and everything hitoshi, you can't do something like that, jeez! i just hope the next time i kiss you, you'll be smiling instead of crying... i don't want to be the cause of your sadness and the reason for your tears. i would feel awful."
"that's not fair," hitoshi mumbled to himself. surprising himself with his own words. he shook his head and tightened his fists. he was allowed to grieve. he was allowed to cry and be upset mourn over the loss of something that meant so much to him. why was she acting like this was no big deal? that was unfair.
⇢˚⋆ ✎ ˎˊ- ✧ document six !
✦ for ꒰ cute purple sleepyhead ꒱ includes...
"i think i need to explain to you right now: that by lying, im not trying to hurt you! at all. maybe i'm being selfish by keeping this from you. maybe it's wrong of me to make you care, knowing that i won't be around for long... but i truthfully wanted a friend. and what if i told you i was dying when we first met? wait- well, i mean i technically did, you just thought i was joking, but what if i made sure you knew i was actually dying? would you not want to get involved? or maybe you would, then would attempt to make my last two weeks of living a blast. but then it wouldn't feel special. right now... i love my time with you because it all makes me feel normal. well, my quirk did horrible at making me feel normal today. i didn't want you to worry about me and my stupid quirk, but... of course, you did. you can't help it..."
hitoshi took a minute to breathe. he remembered that day. and he remember blood. claws. wounds. bandages. tears.
that was not a good day.
⇢˚⋆ ✎ ˎˊ- ✧ document seven !
✦ for ꒰ cute purple sleepyhead ꒱ includes...
"i want to get video of both of us together, at least!" y/n was already speaking when the camera was on and hitoshi saw himself in the frame with her. he watched as he rolled his eyes, refusing to look at the camera. y/n poked her lips out adorably with a pout and it made hitoshi's heart ache.
"cmon!" y/n shook her head at the device. "all these days of hard work, building a friendship and bonding with hitoshi- and he's still mean to me! such baloney!"
"baloney?"
"yes baloney! hitoshi, look at the camera!" y/n laughed and moved her face closer to hitoshi, "now give me a kiss on the cheek, please and thank you!"
"no."
"what?" hitoshi hissed in response to his own answer. he would give anything to kiss her again. anything. why was he so hesitant about everything? why didn't he just go for it and not give a fuck? what was holding him so far back?
"dang." y/n shook her head. "still, after all this time. i thought you were bae, toshi. are you just fam?"
hitoshi watched as he shook his head with a sigh and leaned in to place a small, sweet kiss on to the girl's lips, immediately looking the other way after. he was itching to feel those lips again and he wondered why he didn't kiss her longer. why he didn't hold her hand every chance he got. he winced when he heard y/n's laugh.
"so hitoshi isn't fam or bae, he's certified husband, that's that."
if only she could've lived long enough for that to happen. the internal ache at the sudden thought had him cursing himself.
"y/n, what!"
the screen went black.
⇢˚⋆ ✎ ˎˊ- ✧ document eight !
✦ for ꒰ cute purple sleepyhead ꒱ includes...
"okay, so i think i might be fucked, im not sure, but my doctor said i may die faster than expected... and that's fine."
"it's not fine." hitoshi countered, shaking his head when he realized the girl had already passed.
"it's ending really quickly and... i don't know. here's your other reason as to why you shouldn't be sad: because im not. im probably not gonna be sad when i die either. if anything, im happy. i don't really feel like doing this anymore. as much as i enjoy my time with you, im in severe pain right now and i think it's time to go, you know? i already told you how i wanted my death to go. quick, painless, quiet, and surrounded by my loved ones. im okay with dying. you don't have to be immediately, and just make sure you're being sad for you, not for me. im okay, okay?" y/n squinted playfully at the screen for a few seconds, "okaaaay?"
hitoshi swallowed and he felt like she was right there, speaking to him directly. "okay."
a few seconds more, "good! good! okay hitoshi, you also told me you were training with aizawa-sensei today. so since you guys are so close, you should talk to him if my death really weighs on you... just a suggestion from yours truly. buh-bye!"
⇢˚⋆ ✎ ˎˊ- ✧ document nine !
✦ for ꒰ cute purple sleepyhead ꒱ includes...
"i love you." y/n smiled at her screen.
"i love you too," hitoshi muttered quietly into his arm, and as if she could hear, y/n's eyes lit up on the screen.
"i told you that today and you got so scared, you froze!" she giggled, laying back on her bed and hitoshi could see that she was crying from the puffiness of her eyes. "you said you didn't know how you felt, which is obviously fine, duh, it's been like, two weeks... and then you told me you hoped tragedy didn't hit to make you rush into your feelings. im sorry about all of this hitoshi. i genuinely didn't expect to really fall in love, i guess."
"neither did i." hitoshi huffed quietly.
"it's your fault for being so lovable!"
"it's yours."
"i wish i could've spent the rest of my life with you... in person."
hitoshi perked up curiously at her choise of words, turning up the volume curiously.
"i say that because... well, as ive previously stated, im a firm believer in getting a choice after death. and i told you, if given the chance, i'll always choose to stay with you. so, i have a gift for you, and i think my parents will have mentioned it by the time you're watching this. and here's the final reason you shouldn't be sad: i'll always be with you. all you have to do is ask for your gift. and... i'll be sad if this doesn't work, so if you don't get your gift a little after you ask, then go to my parents and you should get it. but right now, i think you should ask for it out in the open. hopefully, no more tears will be shed. again, i'll always be with you, cute purple sleepyhead!"
the screen went black.
what the hell did that mean? hitoshi was more curious than ever as he looked up from his phone, staring at nothing in particular as darkness surrounded him.
his headache was still present and pounding violently, but his eyes darted curiously around his room.
he spoked quietly, "could i have my gift...? he felt like an idiot the moment the words left his mouth and he rolled his eyes.
what was he even expecting to happen? y/n was a jokster with her last breath. it was probably nothing. even so, chills ran down his spine as he repeated the words in his head, over and over again.
i'll always be with you.
i'll always be with you.
i'll always be with you.
knock. knock. knock.
hitoshi jumped at the suddenness of the hollow noises that interrupted his chanting thoughts, shouting for whoever it was to come in.
his dad opened the door with a small smile and tossed him a brown box, "just now came in the mail," his dad explained. hitoshi muttered a small thanks, too focused on reading wherever the thing came from, not noticing how his room door shut once again.
his blood ran cold when he looked at the wording on the white stripe on the brown box, 'from your gaurdian angel, i'll always be with you ;)'
what kind of sick joke was this?
but who would even know enough information to play such a joke? this couldn't have been real... right?
despite that, hitoshi frantically tore open the box, his heart beating violently in his rib cage, so loud the thumps were filling his ears, completey surrounding him and drowning hm in the sound- he pulled out a smaller box. similar to one used for a proposal. he opened it and saw a silver bracelet, 'cute purple sleepyhead' hung from the chain in a sparkly silver.
a paper inside, he lifted it to read the extremely small print:
ᶦᵐ ʰᵉʳᵉ. ᵃⁿᵈ ᶦ ʲᵘˢᵗ ʷᵃⁿᵗᵉᵈ
ᵗᵒ ˡᵉᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ᶜᵘᵗᵉ , ʸ/ⁿ
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hey!! if you cried while reading this fic, please take pictures of your tears and send them to my instagram: softbiscuiit so i can smile <3
i want to give a biiiiiiig thank you to you guys for reading and sticking with me from chapter one to here! it's really been a ride.
i will never ever reveal to anyone what the ending of this really is, what it implies, and basically what happened. there will NOT be a sequel and no further chapters to this story. it is finished and done with. let your imagination run wild! omg can i read your theories?? i really wanna see what you guys think this is and or what it means!
oooo it gets me so excited! eek!
i hope i made your heart ache as much as hitoshi's did :) ily guys bye bubbas <3