During my illness, I learned a lot from Yu Tan. She'd risked her life to gather information for me. She told me that the Crowned Prince wanted me to be his concubine because I was very close to Suwan Guwalgiya Min Min. The King of Mongolia owned an exceedingly strong army and such a strength could assist him in gaining his military power if I were his wife.
I snickered when I heard the news. "How daring of him to use me as a tool to strengthen his clan!"
"Sister, do not be angry. You have not recovered fully. Come, drink this herbal medicine."
Balling my fists, I tried to calm myself down. Now, I could only wait. Ice Face said he could settle the matter and I had faith in him. In order to delay the potential marriage and give Ice Face more time to think of some ideas to defeat the Crowned Prince, I mustn't get well so soon. Determined, I grabbed the bowl of medicine and poured it into a pot of bonsai.
"Sister, why did you--"
"Yu Tan, I'll never allow myself to become the Crowned Prince's wife. If I remain sick, I can delay the fate of giving away my love for such a horrible man. You must act with me this time."
I persuaded her until my tongue was swollen. Finally, she nodded.
I couldn't fake my illness. The doctors would know, so I spent most of the time soaking myself in a tub of cold water. In order to encourage me, Ice Face asked his herald to send me a crystal hair clasp with a Mulan design. Inside the gift box was another chest. I opened it and was bewildered to see all the jewelry that I had previously returned to him before. My heart lurched with excitement. This time, I didn't send the gifts away.
After a week, Ice Face had thought of a way to let the emperor know about the Crowned Prince's misdeeds all these years. I exhaled a sigh of relief when I heard of the news. It seemed that my grief and worries could be set aside for the time being.
Sitting in front of the copper mirror, I took out the Mulan hair clasp. Mulan? Why did Ice Face like Mulan so much? Without thinking about it, I slid the hair clasp into my hair and smiled heartily. I had hidden too long in my house. It was time to breathe some fresh air. While I was strolling in one of the imperial gardens, I saw Ice Face walking towards my direction. My cheeks burned with sudden embarrassment. I quickly turned around and took down the hair clasp.
"Ma'ertai Ruo Xi, why did you always run away whenever you see me? Am I really that scary?" He walked towards me and held my hand gently. His touch triggered my anticipation. "The hair clasp complemented your beauty well. Why did you remove it?"
"I... I'm afraid that you'll laugh at me."
"Why would I laugh at you?"
"I... The hair clasp is the only gift that I didn't return to you. I didn't know why I would wear it today."
I kept my head low so that he wouldn't see me blush. Of course, I knew why I wore it. I was falling for him because he would become the future ruler. He would have sovereign power that no one would dare disobey. I would be protected if I were his wife. I didn't mind how the other princes would think of me. Yes, I was selfish, but everyone would become selfish if he or she was given a choice. I was certain that this time my decision was right.
Feeling convinced, I looked up, "Fourth Prince, would... would you marry me?"
"Marry you?" Ice Face sniggered. "I do not dare to and I do not want to."
"Why not?"
"Everyone knows why the Crowned Prince wanted you to become his concubine, and the case has yet to settle completely. Father said he will investigate it carefully. If I ask Father to bestow you to me, that will directly show that I am challenging the Crowned Prince, and Father would think that I want to rebel. Now, not only me, none of the princes dare marry you."
"I'll have to wait then? If I were forced to marry to the Crowned Prince, I'd rather die."
"Die? Do not forget that I often save you from the brink of death. Your life belongs to me. Without my permission, you cannot die." He put the hair clasp into my hair and grinned. "Go back and rest. Let me handle the matter. I do not want to marry an ugly concubine."
He hit my forehead softly with his knuckles before walking away. I returned to my house, smiling contently to myself. Months had passed and one day, my muses visited me. I took out a parchment and some colourful inks, preparing to draw more designs for Consort Liang. However, when I almost completed it, I accidentally smeared the drawing. My heart raced in uneasiness. My instinct told me that something grief-stricken had happened.
"Sister Ruo Xi, Sister Ruo Xi..." Xiao Shun Zi launched at me. "Sister Ruo Xi, Consort Liang, she-- she had passed away." He stole a look at me, scared that I would collapse at the news.
"How could this happen so suddenly?" I asked, my voice shaky.
"Actually, Consort Liang had fallen sick for weeks. Her servants had asked for the Royal Doctor to treat her, but the emperor did not grant it."
Tears fell from my eyes as I heard what he had delivered. I wanted to write a letter to the Eighth Bei'Le to console him, but I had hurt him once because of my selfishness. I couldn't hurt him anymore. Sobbing, I walked to Consort Liang's house and knelt in front of the entrance.
"Consort Liang, you were always gentle and kind. Ruo Xi is only a maidservant but you always helped me, so that I could meet with my sister during my birthday. Your benevolence will never be forgotten. Please, leave all your woes here and have a good journey."
I bowed thrice on the cobbled path when all of a sudden, I saw the emperor and his men halt a few feet in front of me. The emperor spent only three seconds looking at the entrance door before walking away. My heart sank. This was love in the Forbidden City. Because of a split second of greed and lust, Consort Liang, who was from poor family background, became one of the emperor's wives. But due to her status, she could never gain respect from the emperor and her son could never be the ruler of the kingdom. In the emperor's eyes, Consort Liang was nothing but just a flower by the wall. He didn't even want to mourn in front of her altar.
The more I thought of it, the harder I cried. Heavy snow fell several weeks after Consort Liang's funeral. I meandered around the garden, thinking how the Eighth Bei'Le would handle his grief. Footsteps rose beside me but I didn't turn around to look who he was. I'd stayed long enough in the palace that I could even differentiate the way the princes breathed, the way they smirked, and the way they lamented without even looking at them.
"The snow is getting heavier. Why do you still stand there?" Ice Face asked.
"Life in this palace is getting harder and colder. We have to stay vigilant constantly." I stretched out my palm to cushion the falling snow. "My wishes are like the puddle of water on the floor. They will soon be covered by the snow and become frozen."
"Where is the old woe-less Ruo Xi that I know? You are not someone who likes to lock her brows together. Do not let grief mist over your path. Think of what you really want." He stared at me and asked, "Where is the hair clasp? You did not wear it today."
"I put it in the house."
"Where are the earrings?"
"In the house as well."
"In the house as well?" He sighed. "You have wasted my effort."
I grinned and touched the necklace sealed underneath my cloak. "I'm wearing this."
He hit my forehead gently again after hearing my answer.
"Why do you always do this? It hurts." I stomped my feet and threw a tantrum at him.
"If you want to ponder over what you really want, go embrace the hearth and think. Do not stand here. You will catch a cold. My heart will ache if you fall sick again."
I stood there. His words and concern warmed me. Perhaps he really was the one I had been waiting for. I bowed at him pleasantly before taking my leave. Think of what you really want... His voice echoed around my mind. What do I want? I stroked the Phoenix's Blood Jade and reached a decision. I want a good life! After applying lotion on my wrist, I grimaced as I forced the bangle out of my hand and out of my life. It dawned on me that letting someone and something go needed immense courage and was a painful deed. This time, I was determined. Farewell, Eighth Bei'Le. The next day, I went to One Sided's Residence and gave him the bangle.
I pleaded him to return it to the Eighth Bei'Le. One Sided was about to reprimand me but he bit off his retort when Ice Face appeared. Furious, the Fourteenth Prince fed me with his vicious glare before stomping away. Phew. Ice Face had saved me again from a storm.
"What had happened?" He fumbled his amethyst ring as he studied my expression.
"It-- It is just that the Lunar New Year is around the corner. So I gave the Fourteenth Prince a gift."
Ice Face smirked. "As you like. I do not have the time to care about such a trivial matter."
His words shocked me. He was so much different than a lot of men out there. Most men would get angry if they saw their lovers sending gifts to other men, but Ice Face was so generous.
"Ruo Xi, I have some free time today. Care to practice your writing with me?"
"I..." I pouted my lips. My calligraphic writing was horrible. I was used to typing via Notepad or scribbling with a ball pen. If he saw my ugly handwriting, he would definitely mock me.
Ice Face grabbed my hand. "Do not spoil my mood."
He grinned and brought me to his Residence. We spent the entire afternoon writing each other's names in the parchments. Ice Face had only called the practice to a halt when he noticed my hands were red as I held on to the brush for too long.
After the parchments were dried, he secured them in his drawers. "These will be the evidence. I shall see whether you have improved in the future." I tucked my tongue out as he brought me to a table. Smiling, he said, "Ruo Xi, promise me that you will never lie to me."
"I promise you. But what if there are matters that I don't wish to share."
"Then you can just tell me so and I will not pursue you further."
I nodded contentedly. A man would be devoured by his own jealousy. Ice Face's words gave me tremendous confidence. I was certain that he was a man whom I could rely on. Stepping closer to him, I asked, "What about you? Can you promise me the same thing?"
"I promise you."
"Why did you agree with my request without even thinking thrice?"
"Why would I want to think thrice? I love you and I would never lie to you."
Though I couldn't see my own expression, I could sense that my wide grin had betrayed me. A thought struck me all of a sudden. After making sure that no servants were around, I grabbed his hand and wrote the words The Throne in his palm.
"Do you want this? You can choose not to say--"
"Yes, I want it, and I also want you." He cuddled my cheeks. "You should look into the mirror and see how ugly you are whenever you frown. I understand your trepidation. The Crowned Prince's case is about to settle. You should know that Father begins to suspect him, but Father will not punish him severely as Father brought him up himself. But I am certain that Father will not bestow you to him. Once the case is resolved, I will beseech Father to grant our marriage."
I pulled his hands away and pretended my anger. Deep within my heart, happiness bloomed. I could sense that I was as important as the throne in his mind. "I no longer fear the Crowned Prince. The emperor hinted something to me a few days ago. I am afraid that he thinks that I like the Thirteenth Prince. You must really act fast and tell him about... us."
"Look how edgy you are. You cannot wait to be my wife, can you?"
I threw a tantrum and turned my face away. From the corner of my eyes, I saw him stretch out his hand. I held on to it with pouted lips, pretending my reluctance.
He embraced me and said, "Remember, the more anxious you are in your heart, the calmer you should make yourself look from the outside. If people cannot guess what you are thinking, they will not simply take action. I promise you that no one will stand between us."
Edited by YvonneKindle