The party was in four hours and I was still missing one of the most important things, alcohol. If I couldn't get ahold of some booze and people actually showed up I'm not sure I could handle the embarrassment. What would we even do? Google some get-to-know-each-other icebreakers? God, I hope it didn't come to that.
I figured I'd find booze the same way I had done back home. Find someone in college and offer them a few extra bucks to pick me up some alcohol. I hopped onto my fabricated Instagram page and shot off some direct messages to a few frat guys from the University of Miami. It wasn't difficult. I just looked up a couple of different fraternity Instagram pages, picked out the guys that looked like they would buy for minors and shot out a pre-written message in mass.
It didn't take long to get a response. The guy's name was Kevin and judging by his profile all he had going for him was that he knew how to drink. I cruised on over to his house as soon as we agreed on an acceptable inconvenience fee, as he called it. When I pulled up I was met with a beefy looking man child who stood about five foot six. He stumbled out of his frat house, visibly hammered, dressed in salmon-colored shorts and a beer-stained polo. A pair of Ray-Bans tucked into his collar completed the look.
"Jeez it's not even dinner time and you're already gone man," I said jokingly.
What are you talking about man? It's just a buzz, I'm perfectly fine, I could drive if I wanted to" he assured me like every other overconfident drunk I had ever interacted with. "Woah dude you've got a sick car."
"Thanks, haha, how much do I owe ya, man."
"It's on me bro," he said with a smile on his face.
"Nah c'mon man it's a lot of alcohol, let me throw you a little something at least," I offered back courteously, secretly hoping he would deny me. One of the many lessons I had learned was that free booze always goes down easier.
"Seriously man it's on me, don't worry about it. Just promise you'll come out to rush this summer alright?" he responded as he handed over a rush card alongside the plethora of handles.
"Aw thanks so much, man, I really appreciate it. I'll definitely be stopping out for rush, you seem dope." I shot backing hoping I got the lingo right.
"Hey man, can you do me one more quick favor?"
"Shoot"
Can you snap a picture of me by the university welcome sign for my grandma?" I asked.
"Sure thing buddy" he exclaimed. I parked the car and we took a quick stroll to the nearest university signage.
"Move a little to the left, perfect. Right there, hold still, there we go. Got it"
"Thanks again," I said as I attempted to dap him up, catching a whiff of his alcohol stench in the process.
Kevin was either the most generous twenty-two-year-old failing college student or had been incredibly drunk. Something told me it was the later but I tried not to feel bad about taking advantage of his drunken generosity. I couldn't imagine how he'd feel about the whole scenario tomorrow, provided he was able to remember it.
Before I peeled away I took a peek at the picture Kevin had taken. It was a surprisingly decent picture given his current state. In keeping with the lie that I had told Betty, I texted her the photo exclaiming that my first college visit had gone so well! I made sure to thank her again and mention how easy the roads had been to navigate to put her at ease.