It started to rain minutes ago on a Saturday. It is still summer, and the weather here in California can be unpredictable.
I cover myself with the blanket and hug my legs, letting myself away from others. What happened last night scared me, and the terrifying images of that creep still pop into my head.
After the police interviewed me, I was scared to talk. Don was with me, and I felt safe as I spoke to the cop. Once they arrested the creep, It appeared his name was Lester Mayfield, a rapist, and murderer who attacked women whose mentality of having a relationship with him. For the past two months, he stalked, raped, and killed four women he thought were into him because they were nice to him.
I was about to be victim number five if it weren't for Don.
Who would care for my son if he weren't there to save me? By law, if I'm gone, he will go back to that father of his, and my soul won't rest if Eddie beats him.
I couldn't hold back the tears and let them fall from my puffy eyes, lack of sleep, and crying. I couldn't sleep. After everything that happened, I couldn't fall asleep.
A soft knock on the door made me unaware that Effie had entered my room holding a glass of water. "Hey, CJ, how are you feeling?"
"Where's Leo?"
"He's with the boys keeping him occupied."
"I bet he's wondering why he had to sleep somewhere else." Knowing Leo, he wants to be with his mommy, and wanting him by my side is the perfect remedy to cure whatever I have.
"He was suspicious and kept asking for you, but I told him you were sick and needed to be quarantined for a few days."
I sniffle, wiping my nose on the back of my hand. "I was so scared," I say honestly, looking at her. "How did you manage it?"
Effie takes a seat at the edge of the bed and sighs. "Clark was doing what his cousin told him to do because he was threatened to tell on his dad that his son is gay."
"But he still assaulted you."
"Of course, I was very angry with him. I hated him, but I pitied him."
"He should have gone to jail."
"Well, he should have instead getting beaten by his dad." My eyes grew wide. "At least it's safe there."
I got quiet. I don't know what else to say because I'm beginning to think this conversation isn't helping. If I were in Effie's shoes, I would have put my attacker in jail for good instead of being best friends. But that is Effie for you, like her mother.
Forgive and forget.
"Look, CJ," Effie stepped inside my blanket and wrapped her arm around my waist. "What you experienced was much more mortifying than what Clark did to me. He touched me there, but that creep pulled a knife on you. Any second, he would have killed you. Luckily Don and Seth got there on time."
More tears fall from my eyes, and I land my head on Effie's shoulders, bawling out. "During that time, I've been thinking about my son and praying that I will stay alive. I don't want my son to be motherless."
"I know," Effie held me and rubbed my arm.
"I'm weak, Effie." I tighten my fist. "I'm so fucking weak."
"CJ." She reaches for my hand. "You're not weak."
"But-"
I heard the door open, and his voice made my body react to him. "Hey, may I come in?"
"Yeah," Effie then whisper to me. "Don is here. I need to go and check on Zara." She slipped away and made me wish she didn't leave, but Don and I were alone once she did.
"How are you feeling?" He asks.
I pinch my lips together before answering him. "I'm okay, still shaken up but okay..." I'm not okay. I couldn't stop my body from shaking.
The room became quiet, and suddenly, the bed moved as I shifted my head at Don, watching him in shock. "Uh...what are you doing?"
"I'm sleeping here." He says bluntly as he makes himself comfortable on the bed.
"Uh...no, your not. What if someone-OOF!" With his strong arm, Don pulled me down and had me in a spooning position. I struggle to break free but can't budge. This big lug. "What are you doing?"
"You need to sleep."
"I can't sleep while you are here," I say, turning my body to face him. I swallow hard at how very close his face is to mine. My face got warm.
How can I sleep?
My heart can't rest.
I can't fall for his tricks when we are in bed.
"Thea told me you didn't sleep enough last night and have not eaten breakfast this morning."
Thea and her big mouth. I couldn't sleep last night because of the incident. Last night I kept my eyes open because I feared that creep would find me to get inside my room and finish what he started. Then this morning, Thea left a plate that I didn't touch. I didn't have the appetite to eat anything, significantly when my stomach grew a while ago, but now it quiets down. I only ate one piece of bread. I can't be myself since last night. The horrifying images of his face and where he touched me made me even more afraid. But a little good thing, he wasn't sent by Eddie.
I'm still wary that Eddie has not made his move. I expected he would send someone to follow me or perhaps kill me. He will do anything to get me back.
Dead or Alive.
My body shiver.
"You okay?" Don pull me close.
His deep and gentle voice soothes me as I look at him. I stop trembling, and my heart is at ease.
Carefully, he pulled me against his chest as I heard a beating heart. Was it mine? No, I'm hearing double.
"Let it out." I felt his hand on my back, rubbing gently.
I know what he meant. I held back my tears until now, and suddenly, I let it out. My body shook, my eyes moist; I couldn't help crying against Don's body.
"It's okay," he whispers against my ear. "Let it out."
I was so scared. Just thinking about the incident somewhat made me remember Eddie's fist. Eddie was violent, and the creep Lester was aggressive and mental. Eddie is just psycho.
I scooted closer to Don, smelling his scent as I became high in just a few seconds. It's alluring and has become my new favorite thing to smell. I sound like a creep, but I can't help it when the guy embraces me like this. My heart rate keeps rising.
"Hey," Don lifts my chin to make eye contact. He wipes my tears away with his thumb. "I will never, ever let anyone hurt you."
I sniffled and nodded.
"Okay," he plants a kiss on my head. "Get some sleep."
The sweet side of him I can never get used to. Compared to him to Eddie, Don is the more gentlemanly type. He's not born with a silver spoon, yet he is happy with his life. He put his family first before others. That's the type of man I wanted in my life.
It's scary.
I wish for an ideal man who loves and cherishes me, isn't rich, and has a loving family. Don fits more of that description than Eddie. For Eddie, it's all about image and money. I would be his trophy wife, just a display to show his friends what a perfect little housewife I would be. That won't happen. I'm running away from a life I never wanted. I wanted happiness; I wanted love.
I want Don.
I hear soft snores coming from Don. He has fallen asleep. I stare at the man I wanted so badly, the ideal man I always dreamed about and yet was too afraid to admit. Don is too good for me and deserves someone better. After I canceled my engagement with Eddie, I wanted to settle my life down first with Leo. The romance wasn't part of the plan, but with Don entering my life and pushing through the walls, I had a barricade to prevent incoming events that could interrupt my goal. But my walls have a hole; something or someone made that hole.
And it happened when Don kissed me at Lake Tahoe.
I blame myself for it and allow him to kiss me. Thinking about that kiss made my body warm and tingling.
I shift my body, facing the other way looking at the wall, and squeeze my eyes shut. I'm having uncontrollable dirty thoughts about Don that I want to touch myself. I want to reach down inside my shorts and make my pussy feel better. To stop the aching. But I can't. Don sleeps beside me, and I don't want him to think I want him so badly. I don't want him to think I want sex with him.
I kept my hands away by hiding them under the below, ignoring the tingling feeling. I squeeze my legs tight like glue and close my eyes shut, trying to think of anything that has to do with Don.
Oh god, what the hell is wrong with me?