Hey guys! I know a lot of you were probably really upset about the last chapter, and that is exactly what I expected. But all I ask is that you try and stay positive about Melody because I promise, that the way everything turns out will satisfy you guys. :)
So, Enjoy :)
Chapter 15
Weeks passed. As soon as my birthday did, I was out. I went over to Hannah's and her parents agreed to let me stay there. Besides, they have always been better parents to me. So I moved in, and everything was so much better. Even though I missed my sisters like crazy, I couldn't go back. I sincerely wished that I could've taken them with me.
I sat on Hannah's bed as she painted her toenails, and tried to think. Tried to focus on the task at hand. But no, all I could think about was the fact that it has been five weeks since. Five weeks since Lucas and I had had sex. Five weeks, and he hasn't contacted me since then.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't pissed. I sure as hell was. And not only that, but I was hurt. I felt used, and useless and I felt like dirt. I don't remember how many times I'd left a message on Lucas' phone, but I knew it was over ten times. If I looked back on all the texts I sent, I knew I would be able to count well over one hundred. Call me needy, clingy and desperate, but I didn't care. From my end, it didn't look too good on Lucas' side.
For the past 24 hours, Hannah's been trying to get me to speak. But I refuse. I told her when she could get Lucas to talk to me, then would I speak to her. To anyone.
"You're being ridiculous. Just because Lucas is being an ass, you have to be an anti-social loser?" she says, falling down next to me on the couch. I continue to stare down at my hands, but I really want to say something. "Melody. I told you, continuously that Lucas was going to do this. You never heard me."
She was right. I knew she was right. I couldn't stop the flow of my tears as they rolled down my cheeks. I did my bets not to sob out loud, but I couldn't hold it back. The only other time I had ever felt like this was when Jesse had basically spat in my face.
In the end, this was all his fault. Yes, I made the mistake of having sex with Lucas. Yes, I had trusted Lucas even though he couldn't give two shits about me. Yes, I had probably made more mistakes than anyone on the known universe, but it was Jesse's fault. He walked away. He didn't even bother to give me a chance to explain. He assumed the worst, which ended up being false information! And in the end, all of this had happened. But if only I had taken the chance and went to talk to him. I guess I'm just a chicken.
"No you're not a chicken," Hannah said softly, rubbing my shoulder.
I groaned and dropped my head into my hands. "This is so messed up," I mumbled into my hands, my words muffled. Hannah laughed lightly and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into her side, holding me there.
She kissed the top of my head and lifted me out of my hands so I could look her in the eyes. "You know you still have the opportunity to get Jesse back, right?" Hannah said, her eyes shining with happiness and mischief. It was looks like that that reminded me why I was friends with her in the first place. Her optimism and outgoing personality balanced me out.
I scoffed. "No, I don't. He hates me. Done. Over. I lost my chance when I let him walk away from my house that night..." I trailed off, remembering the way he'd looked at me. With so much hatred, and regret. Even when he wasn't seeing, it hurt. It hurt more than anything. I looked at my best friend. "Hannah, I blew it. Jesse is never going to forgive me. But you want to know the worst part? Those things I said aren't true anymore. And I'm ever going to get the chance to tell him that."
"Is that what you want? The chance to tell him?" she asks, her voice soft.
I think about it for a minute. Of course that's what I want. I want Jesse to know that yes, I said those things, but I didn't mean them anymore. Maybe I never meant them. I wanted to tell him that I loved him more than anything in the world, and Lucas was probably the biggest mistake I've ever made. "Yes, that is what I want. But when will I ever be able to tell him that?" I say, feeling doubtful.
Hannah frowned for a minute, her eyebrows merging together, until her eyes widened, and she grinned at me. "I know when. This Friday, at Palmer's party. His annual pre-Halloween bash? He holds it every year before his Halloween party, and it's awesome! There's no way Jesse is going to miss it, whether he and Palmer are friends or not.
"You don't need an invitation to get in. Palmer's parties are huge, and he always hires a bouncer. But, since he's such a dick, he tells him to only let the, and I quote, "pretty people in"," she explained, using her fingers to exaggerate the quotations on that. By the tone of her voice, I knew she had something up her sleeve. But before I could ask, she answered for me. "So, I am going to make you so gorgeous, that even Jesse will see it through his blindness."
I told her I wasn't okay with this. I swear, I said it over ten times. But Hannah never listens! So, here I am standing in front of a mirror in our private dressing room, with a dress that feels like a second layer of skin. "I definitely do not like this one," I say, picking at the fabric. It reached to about the bottom of my butt, and was a very ugly brown colour. "No. Just no."
Hannah rolls her eyes and stands up next to me, eyeing my dress. "Maybe you're right. Here, try this one," she said, picking up a blue, more modest dress and throwing it at me. I sigh and slip the first dress off, and slip into the next one.
The fabric was like silk, and was soft against my skin. I zipped it up with ease, and straightened the skirt out. It was a simple flowy skirt that swished around my thighs as I turned. It reached a few inches above my knee and clung to my torso in all the right places. It accentuated and defined my waist, and had a thin halter neck. I did a quick turn before looking over at Hannah. "What about this one?" I said, fingering the fabric lightly.
Hannah circled around me so she could get a better view of the dress from every angle. I waited for her to say something, but instead she pulled my hair out of it's ponytail and let it fall around my shoulders in loose waves. I smiled at her as she came back to my front. "I like it. No, I love it."
I grinned and turned back to face the mirror, admiring the dress some more. The dress really made my eyes and hair and skin stand out in contrast to it's bright colour. I slipped into a pair of black pumps we had found earlier, and walked around a bit. I felt powerful and beautiful and I suddenly couldn't wait to wear this dress. Even though I still wasn't sure about the party on Friday.
"Hannah?" she looked at me, smiling. "What if this was all for nothing. What if he still hates me after all of this? I'm going to pour my heart and soul out to Jesse, and it might not even make a difference," I said as I sat down on a bench against the wall. I pulled my knees up to my chest. "I don't know. I don't know if this is smart. I understand this is all my fault, but I don't know if I can take another rejection."
She sighed and slowly walked over to me, sitting down next to me. "Melody, Jesse is more in love with you that anything in the world. That's something I never expected to see, ever. And that's something you can't let go of," she said, holding my hand.
I turned my head and gave her a sly smile. "Do you practice these pep talks?"
"Maybe."
I leaned on my best friends shoulder and we sat in silence. And as we sat, I thought about everything that has happened to me over the past month and a half. I don't know how so much could've happened to me. I fell in love with the player, I lost my virginity to my best friend, I lost the guy I loved, and now I was being ignored by the one person he actually claimed to love me more than anything. I don't know how my life could've gotten so bad that fast. "I'm a walking disaster."
Hannah slapped my arm and I stared at her. Before I could open my mouth to yell at her, she spoke. "Melody, you only think of yourself as unlucky. When are you going to understand how amazing you are? Melody, whether you get Jesse back or not, you're going to have the best life." I didn't realize I was crying now until she reached out and wiped the tears from my cheeks. "You're such a hard-working, determined, beautiful person. Believe me, if anyone deserves to have their dreams come true, it's you. Even if you have made a few mistakes."
I nodded, and hugged my best friends. "I need to fix them, Hannah. I just don't know how," I say, my voice muffled by her shoulder.
"Well," she said, pulling back to look me in the eyes. "You should start with your parents. You need to go home. As much as I love you hogging the blanket every night," she said, sticking her tongue out at me. I slapped her knee.
I nodded. "Okay. I'll do it. Tomorrow," I said, jumping up so we could pay for my new dress.
~Jesse~
"I still don't know why you're dragging me to this thing," Tara said as I heard her perch herself on the edge of my bed. "I hate Palmer almost as much as you do. We should just both not go," she said, falling back against my pillows. "I know!" she said, suddenly jumping up. We rent a shit load of scary movies, grab a six pack and stay up all night." I could imagine her waggling her eyebrows at me.
I smirked. "Tempting, but no. I go every year. Palmer's a dick, but I am not missing this party. And I'm not going alone. You're coming," I said, finding my way to me bed and falling back on my pillows.
I felt Tara place her head on my chest, her hands folded under her chin. "But then people might think we're dating. And that isn't true," she said with a laugh. I smirked and found the end of her ponytail, tugging it lightly. "The real reason you want to go is because a small part of you is hoping that Melody is going to be there."
I smiled widely and shook my head. "That's not true."
"Sure it's not!" she said, and suddenly Tara smacked my face with a pillow. "I have waited to do that all day," she exclaimed, holding back her obvious laughter.
I growled and grabbed her around the waist, pinning her under me, and I started tickling her. As she laughed, I imagined it was Melody. I imagined her beautiful laugh, and the sound of her voice. I imagined seeing her beautiful face, staring into her eyes. And before I could stop myself, I was pressing my lips to hers.
For a minute she hesitated, but then she was pushing me off of her. "Jesse! What are you doing?" Tara's voice suddenly said, interrupting my fantasies.
My eyes widened and I quickly got off of her, running a shaky hand through my hair. Did I really just do that? I took a few deep breaths, when I felt Tara's hand on my shoulder. "Jesse, it's okay. Jesse?" she said as she tried to turn me.
"I forgot it was you," I admitted.
"I know. Don't worry about it." she wrapped her arms around me, and I hugged her back. Tara was probably one of my best friends now, and the fact that she was so supportive about everything I was going through was the most comforting thing.
But still, when she hugged me, a part of me wished it was Melody.
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Hey guys! Okay, so its been almost a week I think since my last chapter update and I was feeling generous and since you guys are so amazing, I thought I should probably update this for you! :D So here's chapter 15, and also, don't forget to go read Saving Sarah :) It could use a little love <3
Please remember to Vote and Comment and Fan if you havent already :D Thanks guys, love you!
Ciao!