January 13th.
Billie's POV:
A couple days have passed, Maddie got her wisdom teeth taken out. She's on heavy meds, overall it's just been rough.
You're wondering how I made it to the Shorty Awards, the truth is, I didn't really. I was there for the last second of her speech, she was looking around while she was up there. I just so happened to be in the right place at the right time.
She hasn't asked about my meeting and I haven't asked about hers, I want to talk to her when she's normal and not drugged out of her mind.
I wouldn't lie to you, ever since the meeting. I know shit's going to go downhill. I'm going to get progressively more busy, meaning less time to communicate and so on and so fourth.
I don't know if she's talked to Kenzie, I don't know anything. She's here but she isn't. She's physically here, but not mentally. But she still knows what she wants, she knows she wants endless cuddles and wants to watch hours of Criminal Minds. I would not lie to you, Criminal Minds is a good show, but it gets repetitive. She's also really close to when Morgan leaves the show, which means she will cry.
We're laying in her bed, she has her leg over my body and she has her arm over my stomach. She's watching Criminal Minds on her T.V. I'm barely paying attention, but I'm trying to pay attention to take my mind off everything that's really bothering me.
It's not the fact that anything is really bothering me, it's just I'm scared that I'm going to have to leave her and I won't know the next time I see her is.
We're not going to talk about the fact that there's going to be rehearsals, meaning dance. But we're not getting into that right now, I highly doubt I'll even see Kylie. She's done doing the work for her mom and therefore she's on with her life.
Her phone was rested on her nightstand and it dinged, she moved off of me to reach it. But she was right back in her position. I was watching her as she opened her messages, it was from Dani. I knew this was coming.
So there's a lot of controversy with her right now, I haven't talked to her since my birthday. I think that was the last time I saw her, I don't remember. But like I was saying, Maddie and Dani haven't talked in a long ass time. Isaac told me what she said, and I wanna know where this going to go.
I moved so I could see her screen better, she didn't even question it. She's not trying to hide it. She's holding it straight in front of her.
Dani:
Yo lets talk
mhm
What's going on?
with me or you?
With us bozo.
dani, I love you and you know that. But we haven't 'talked' in months, I think we should keep moving individually and growing separately.
So you don't wanna be friends no more?
i don't hate you, we just grew apart. there's no reason for us to get that close again especially with everything happening with you. im sorry.
What do you mean?
i mean you're toxic, there's no reason for everything that's going on right now. i want you to go find loyal people that care about you, and that are willing to deal with you and all of your baggage.
LMAOOO, you out all people are talking about baggage😂
you and i both know why that's different, im not going to sit and argue with you. im moving on with my life, and you should move on with yours. im sure I'll be mentioned in one of your livestreams soon. can't wait to be the guest star.
You think this is my fault?
i never said that, I didn't text you and you didn't text me. i've learned never to be the one that reaches out first, that's a result of my 'baggage' or whatever. but move on with your life and ill gladly move on with mine.
Bro, I should've known you were fake from the start.
lmaoo, that's funny.
It sure is😂
Maddie: "I can't let her have the last word."
you ruin every friendship and relationship you have, this is all you. you wanna be this tough bad guy but you're not. you claim that you can fight everybody, but there's proof you can't. oop, I took it too far didn't I? I know your response is gonna be something about my fucked up past or whatever, but you can save yourself the time. I've heard it all.
Okay and? I don't deserve any of this, I've done nothing to nobody and the world hates me.
really? you've done nothing? 'miss i wanna fight skai jackson.' you haven't done anything, I agree.
Wtf are you getting at?
im going to be the last one to blame someone for what they did, because if they dont wanna own up to it, then so be it. i couldn't really care less, but you wonder why the internet hates you. it's because of you.
There's hella shit I could say about you, but there's no reason to. You just shoulda tried to keep our friendship.
lmao, the phone works both ways. You could've tried to keep the friendship.
I was busy.
what do you think i was doing? i was on tour, away from everyone else. Growing mentally, and becoming stable lmao, but anyways. You think I was living lavish on tour, yeah it was fun I wouldn't lie. But I wasn't constantly on my phone trying to maintain my relationships I had back here, that wasn't my priority.
What was your priority? Because I know you texted the twins everyday.
lmao, I knew you were going to hold that over my head. my priority was to live the life I deserved and to grow mentally and I have, and I have achieved my goal or whatever. I texted the twins everyday, because they took care of me and they're just there. I don't need to call them to tell them something's wrong, they just check up on me.
Now you're gonna say that I didn't check up on you.
i was, but then again it's not your job to check up on me. You were there when you needed something and when it benefited you. im sure you had your fun and i had mine. But it's time that we grow separately and as individuals.
So now you're gonna hate me?
nope, im going to support you from the distance. Im just not gonna be there and I expect the same from you.
I mean I guess.
i dont hate you, get that through your head.
I know, I dont hate you either.
alright.
Read at 4:41P.M.
Maddie: "Haha, I got the last word."
Billie: "Are you okay?"
Maddie: "I'm fine."
Billie: "Are you sure?"
Maddie: "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"
Billie: "She's been your best friend for the last how ever many years, and you just dumped her."
Maddie: "Somethings aren't meant to be and that was one of them."
Billie: "Did you mean what you said about the twins?"
Maddie: "Every last word."
Billie: "They took care of you?"
Maddie: "Okay so to shorten it, basically we ended it. For like two months, and then I fell back into her trap and everything spiraled after that. I would get hurt every day and the twins would sit at my house or I would sit at theres and I would either cry or talk, depending how hurt I was. They never told me what to do, and they never forced me to do anything. As painful as it was, they let me learn my lesson."
Billie: "I wish I met you when all of that was happening, so I could really help you."
Maddie: "No you don't, I would not have let you in."
I looked at her.
Maddie: "You came into my life at a perfect time, you helped me through everything whether you believe it or not. If you came in before, I would've shut you out. But you came in at like the perfect time."
I smiled at her, "Did you talk to Kenzie about tour?"
Maddie: "I was waiting for you to bring that up, when's tour?" I watched her tense up.
Billie: "Late April, early May."
Maddie: "Say that again."
Billie: "Late April? Early May?"
Maddie put her hand over her mouth, and I could see her smile.
Billie: "You can go."
Maddie: "Everything ends early March."
Billie: "Say fucking less." I pulled her into a hug, she fell backwards on the bed.
Maddie: "Your tour team said I could go?"
Billie: "They said that they would love for you to attend."
She smiled against my neck, and I wrapped my arms around her tighter. This is too good to be true.
Billie: "How do you feel?"
Maddie: "I'm really happy, but I feel like shit so it's pays out."
I stuck my bottom lip out at her even though she can't see me.
Billie: "Well I'm glad you're happy."
Maddie: "I'm happy because of you, but you already knew that."
Billie: "Wait so it's like confirmed you're going?"
Maddie: "I could text Kenzie."
Kenzie🌵:
so I can go on tour as long as doesn't happen before March?
Yup.
I love you.
I love you too kid.
Read at 6:36P.M.
Billie: "When I tell you that took every ounce of worry out of my body." I laughed.
Maddie: "When you left the first time for tour, it didn't hurt me as much because I knew I would see you soon. But if you left this time and I couldn't go, that would hurt so fucking bad."
Billie: "We don't have to worry about that, you're going and we're going to have an amazing time."
Maddie: "Do you have the schedule?"
Billie: "It's not official, but this is where we wanna go."
She looked at my phone and smiled.
Maddie: "You said 'fuck San Diego."
Billie: "I sure did." I smiled at her.
...
We've been in here all day, I don't mind. I like just being able to chill with her. It was now like 10PM, our sleep schedule isn't completely fixed. But it's not horrible either.
She was laying in my lap, and she was on her phone. I was on mine too, she gasped and I looked up.
Billie: "What?"
Maddie: "I just hit 6 million on YouTube."
Billie: "Why did you say that so normally? Shorty that's huge, and it's on the list!"
Maddie: "I know!"
I leaned down and I placed a soft kiss on her lips, I haven't been able to like really kiss her because of her wisdom teeth. And it's really bothering me.
Billie: "I'm proud of you."
Maddie: "Thank you babygirl, I appreciate it."
I smiled at her, she's really been doing really big things lately and I couldn't be happier for her.
-------------
spicy.
i've been trying to write one fucking chapter for 5 days, i have rewritten it 3 times, and i just can't fucking write it.
thanks ily
words: 1884.