What if? Would she? Two question I have tortured myself with everyday and night for the last two weeks. What if I had just let Mum carry on fussing over me instead of rushing her along out the door? Would she still be here? Would she still be waking me up with her singing whilst doing her morning routine or cleaning? Would she still be dragging Dad to dance with her in the middle of the kitchen whilst he was trying to cook food?
Poor, poor Dad. He's lost and he's trying his hardest not to show it, to be the big, tough alpha male. Probably thinking it would tear me apart to see him so broken but I know how much he's struggling. The light in his eyes has dimmed so much, his broad shoulders slumped. He seems to have aged ten years over the passing days since Mum was callously gunned down at the restaurant they had met and were planing to celebrate their twenty year anniversary. The sense of dread I felt when I saw the news, trying to get hold of dad to check if they were ok and unharmed has plagued me for two weeks.
"Breaking news just in, police have sealed off half of the town as reports come in of a man seen wielding a gun shouting threats at members of the public in the surrounding area"
My attention snaps up to the screen to see where the news report is coming from and i instantly recognise the street, more specifically the restaurant in the background that Mum and Dad have a booking for. Dread instantly pools in my stomach and my blood starts pumping around my head, i feel dizzy but I know I need to find my phone. I need to call Mom and Dad. I grab my mobile and hit my emergency contacts, dads number is first up,
"Come on, come on, please pick up, Dad"
After ringing both of them 4 times Dad finally picks up.
"Dad, thank god, I've been trying to call you, the news is on, whats-"
My heart drops at the sound of panic in Dad's voice, he's shouting down the phone and i can just about make out what he's saying. Shot. Ambulance. Hospital. The rushing sound is the only noise I can hear as my blood pumps faster and faster. I feel feint
"Wren! Are you listening?" Dad's shouting is what grounds me,
"Y-yes, I, I'm on my way" The panic is hitting me full force, my legs are wobbling, clutching the phone in a death grip. He hangs up and it's like something has snapped inside me, I get a burst of adrenaline and I start racing for the door not caring that I'm wearing my tattered pyjama bottoms, I throw on my coat and trainers, grab my car keys and I'm out the door, tearing my way into my beat up, shit show of a car.
The drive to the hospital is quick, pretty sure only because i broke nearly every law to get here. i pull up on a side bank not caring if the car gets clamped or towed off, I just need to get in there and know whats going on.
"I got a call from my Dad. my Mom was rushed in by ambulance, she was at the restaurant the shooter was, I need to know where she is, please" I'm sobbing at this point, the lady behind the desk looks startled as she asks for Moms name and details
"Abigail Rumis. Please hurry" I'm begging at this point.
I hear shuffling and my Dads voice calling out my childhood nickname as he rounds the corner and sees me "Little bird!" I don't even think about thanking the lady as I run from the desk towards my dad, barrelling into his chest, sobbing uncontrollably asking what happened.
"The shooter started swinging his gun around, your mother was trying to move closer to me. One minute she was there and the next she dropped to the floor, they've rushed her into surgery" he sounds level headed and calm but I'm sure that's just the shock talking for him, he looks like he's barely holding it together, glassy eyed, whole body trembling and his voice wavering. He leads me to the waiting room and slumps in one of the chairs while I pace the floor until he catches my hand and pulls me to sit next to him. I lean into him and he wraps his arm around my shoulders. I haven't said a word since speaking to the lady at the desk, I don't think i can string a sentence together without crumbling. My leg is bouncing up and down and my mind is a scattered, jumbled mess, what if I just let her carry on fussing over me? She might not have been there at that moment in time, that close to the shooter, if i had just let her carry on checking I would be okay. I don't know how much time passes but I'm sure it's hours, a very grim faced doctor comes out of the theatre doors, this can't be good, he holds himself stiff and he looks like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders as he eyes me and Dad. The look on his face explains everything.
I don't want him to say it. She didn't make it. She's gone. A fresh round of tears pour down my face as dad listens to the doctor but I don't hear a thing, Dad drops back in the chair clutching his chest, tears streaming down his face.
I shake myself of, trying not to cry just yet. Before I've even left my room. Twenty years of love, laughter and happy memories and my parents still acted like they had only just fallen in love. Making goo goo eyes at each other whenever they walk in the room, constantly holding hands, kissing, showing their deep love for one another. Being the complete goofs they were. I hope I'm that lucky someday. I have no doubt in my mind that my parents were two halves of the same whole. Soulmates, destined to meet and never be separated for more than a few hours at most. Another question I have frequently wondered about is how can the world be so cruel? No. How can one person be so cruel? To not have a care for another persons life? I sit at the edge of my bed remembering my last ever encounter with Mum.
"Mum, I'll be fine! Money is on the counter, I'll call if theres any trouble, I know I know. Now just go, Dad is waiting for you in the car and in two seconds he's going to start beeping the horn" we both share smiles at the sound of the horn filling the air with Dad's lack of patience.
" okay okay, i'm going, I'm just making sure you'll be alright. Goodbye darling, see you when we get back." she replies laughing at herself as she grabs her coat and turns to give me a kiss on the forehead.
"You're going for dinner not leaving the country, I'm sure I can survive by myself for a few hours. Enjoy! And don't celebrate too hard!" I chuckled while rubbing the spot her red lipstick is sure to have left it's mark. To be biased my mother is the most beautiful woman in the world. Inside and out. She's wearing her favourite black fitted dress with the high neckline that reaches down the her knees and paired it with the silver necklace and matching earrings I got her for her birthday last month. The necklace is engraved with a sweet little message to show her how much I love and appreciate her, always. She has her golden hair in shiny, big bouncy curls, not a strand out of place and a pair of sleep black heels to give her tiny frame some extra height. Dad decided to surprise mom with a meal at the place they got engaged two years before I was born. To say she was ecstatic would be understatement of the year.
Grinning and waving on the doorstep, I watch as dad reverses the car and pulls away from the house before I close the door.
"Wren, are you almost ready?" Dad's voice floats up the stairs through the open door of my room knocking me out of my own mind. He sounds so lost without her around. Today is Mum's funeral. The dreaded day. Grabbing my cardigan I make my way down the stairs and into the living room where Dad is sitting on the edge of the sofa with a barely touched cup of tea in his hand.
"I'm ready." I plop myself down next to him and lean onto his side. feeling like a little girl again, seeking comfort from my fathers warm embrace. He wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer into his side as if he's trying to shield me from the entire world. We sit in silence for a few minutes. Neither of us willing to break the silence and acknowledge what this day means or how its going to go.
"Aunt Isa should be getting her soon. You've got all the things you need packed, yes?" He asks quietly. Mum had made plans for us all the spend a few weeks in Aunt Isa's house in Wales before all of this happened. It was supposed to be a few weeks of relaxing before coming back in time for me to move into my new university accommodation. He doesn't know yet that I've called the university board and told them I have decided to postpone my course. It doesn't feel right to go when all this is so fresh. We need each other most right now.
"About that. Dad, I called and told them what happened and that I've decided to take a gap year." I hold my breath for a second, two, three. He finally responds, looking down at me
"You aren't going to change your mind are you?" He looks torn. like he really wants to push me to go but knows that any argument he comes up with will be futile. "You know me so well." I give him the best grin i can muster. His lip twitches up into a small smile and he lets out a breath of air that fans a bit of my hair into my eyes, his whole body relaxing a bit.
"As selfish as this might sound, I'm kind glad. I don't think I could manage you going to Uni and not being in my sight just yet." Thats the most honest thing he's said in these last two weeks. Not quite admitting to not being ok. But a step forward from the macho man act. I squeeze him a little tighter, university isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Spending time with my dad is what I need right now, being here for each other because even if he wont let on just how not ok he is, we both know neither of are holding it together very well.
"You're such a good kid, you know that? But it doesn't mean you're getting out of leaving with your Aunt and Uncle later." He's forcing a grin and shaking his head as he says it. How knows exactly what I was going to do. Tell my Aunt and Uncle I'm not leaving with them and see them in 10 days. How he does it, I don't know. he's always been so good at reading people. So intune with the people around him.
"Don't give me that look! I'll be coming 10 days after you. We could both use the company of other people right now especially people who loved your mother just as much as us. It'll do us some good to be in the countryside. Plus I get to see you playing around with your magik all the time." He always gets a twinkle in his eye as if he still can't fathom that Mum was a faerie. I'm no where near as talented as Mum was, but I suppose he's right about going to Aunt Isa's. I still have my ties to the faerie realm through her and can continue my learning. Mum's family are all spread out and love their privacy. Some I've only met once or twice thought my life but Aunt Isa and her husband Uncle Caleb are the closest to us. Even if they're a 4 hour drive away. Dad loves visiting their house just as much as I do. He loves being in the big outdoors surrounded by nature and going for a walk through the forrest surrounding their house. It really is amazing there. But I love it for a different reason. Feeling my magik pulsing at the thought of being surrounded by nothing acres of nothing but nature is like a siren call to me. I've been craving the feeling of being able to use my magik freely since mum said we'd be going to Aunt's for a while. Plus it meant I got to learn more.
Knocking on the door is what pulls us both from our little daydream. Sucking in a deep breath I make my way over to the door and just as soon as I pull it open two sets of arms are pulling me in. Aunt Isa's arms are wrapped around my waist as her four foot six inch frame squeezes me tight and Uncle Caleb's arms are wrapped around my shoulders sandwiching Aunt in between us. He tugs my hair a little and I look up. He doesn't say anything when he sees the tears glistening in my eyes, just sneezing us all in closer and smoothing my hair down.
Pulling away from each other they make their way over to Dad and each give him a squeeze also. He holds it together better than I do.
"Hey Sprout, you have your things ready?" Uncle Caleb calls smiling over to me with sympathy written all over his face while Aunt Isa is speaking to Dad. "They're upstairs. You do know you can't call me sprout anymore when I'm taller than Isa is. We can't all be super tall lycans you know." pulling a face as say the word tall.
"Exactly my point, you aren't a lycan, so you're still sprout. Lets put your stuff in the car ready shall we?" he says. Uncle Celeb is only my uncle through marriage but he's the only uncle I've ever known. Dad didn't have any siblings growing up and his parents passed away a few years ago. Mum only had Isa and her parents retired back to the Spring Courts of the faerie realm when they both had enough of living in the human realm. I only get to see them once a year, they would have been coming today but neither of them have been in the best condition and we didn't want grandpa to feel bad for coming when grandma has been much worse than him. They were both so upset and grandma took a turn when she found out what had happened to Mum so we both made sure to tell them we understood and told them we didn't think badly of them when they couldn't transport through the portals between realms. It takes a lot of magik to even open one, let alone cross through. I was drained for two whole days after just opening a portal to speak with them.
Uncle Caleb and I make our way the stairs and I point out where my duffel bag with my clothes is and make a move to grab my smaller one with toiletries when he grabs it from me and makes his was back down the stairs.
"Don't you know better by now than to hurt my ego thinking I can't carry all your things at once?" he throws a grin over his shoulder and makes his way outside as I head over to Dad and Aunt Isa. They're talking about some kids Aunt Isa and Uncle Caleb took in so I just stand off to the side, half listening not to seem rude but also drifting off into my own world again.
"Are we ready? The cars have arrived" I shake myself out of my daydream. As Uncle Caleb comes back through the front door. A thick lump is sitting in my throat as we all silently make our way out to the funeral car. The whole journey to the cemetery is silent, all lost in thoguht, Aunt Isa and Uncle Caleb hold one another hand as a sign of silent support while dad stares out the window aimlessly watching the world go passed. He turns his head toward me as if he can feel my stare and grabs me hand. My other hand slowly loosens the death grip I've had on the door handle for the last few minutes, feeling more comforted by Dad's gentle support ready to take on everything coming my way today.
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HI! SO THIS IS MY FIRST CHAPTER. I'M HAPPY HOW THIS HAS TURNED OUT. I WOULD APPRECIATE ANY FEEDBACK AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, MORE TO COME.