[2 weeks later]
"No, Edwin!" I yell while getting frustrated. I run my fingers through my hair and I sigh. "You spin first!"
He groans, "I'm sorry. I can't fucking get it."
"Well then get it!" I yell. "It's not that hard."
It stays silent for a few seconds and then Nick speaks up, "Why don't we take a bit of a break."
We do as he says and everyone walks over to the bench. Well except for me. I walk out of the studio to get some air. I stand next to the railing and I rest my arms on. I look out at everything in front of me and I take a deep breathe. I've been really stressed recently. I'm not feeling the best again and I have lots of doctors appointments coming up. I have to go to them alone which always scares me. My mom used to always go with me. Now I'm alone.
The door opens and I look over. Nick stands next to me. We have been so good since our first date. He takes me on dates all the time and we both confessed to having feelings for each other. I just wish he would ask me to be his girlfriend already.
"Ma, are you okay?" He says super softly.
I smile lightly, "Just stressed."
He starts to rub my back, "About what?"
"Just everything," I say. "I just want everything to be perfect for tour."
"And it will be," he says. "You don't need to stress so much about it. It's okay."
I smile lightly, "I know, I know."
What he doesn't know though is that I'm dealing with so much more than tour. I have so much going on and I'm so scared. I'm scared of everything and I don't want to tell him or else he will just run from me. I don't even know what to do at this point.
"How about we call it quits today," he says. "I want to take you somewhere."
I smile, "Okay."
"I'll grab your things and tell the boys. Wait here." I do as he says and he runs back into the studio. About two minutes later he comes back with my stuff and his. "You ready?"
"Yes." We walk over to the car and he throws our stuff in the backseat of the car. "How are the boys getting home?"
"Uber," he says. "Just get in."
I get in the passenger side of the car and he drives away from the studio. "Can you tell me where we are going?"
He grabs my hand and interlocks our hands together. He brings my hand to his lips and gives it a few kisses and then sits both of our hands down on the center console, "When do I ever tell you?"
I groan, "Literally never."
He chuckles, "Exactly."
He keeps driving and I just look out the window. I can feel him glancing over at me every once in a while and it just makes me smile. After about fifteen minutes of driving he stops in a parking lot.
"We are here," he says.
I look at him like he is stupid, "A parking lot?"
He chuckles, "Don't get so upset. Come on."
I get out of the car and he grabs my hand again. I smile lightly and we start walking in front of us.
"What are we going to do at a parking lot?"
"It's not just a parking lot," he says.
We keep walking and that's when I see it. We are at the beach. We start to climb a staircase and that just makes me even more confused. When we get to the top the wind pushes against me and it feels so good. I can see the whole beach from up here. The water, the sand, houses, absolutely everything. It's so beautiful.
There are chairs placed at the top of the staircase that are sitting in sand. It's like he comes here all the time or something. Maybe he does.
"This is gorgeous," I say.
He smiles and leads us over to the chairs. We sit down and I look out at the water. I love hearing the waves smash against each other. It's so magnificent.
"I come here all the time," he says. "It's basically my place to just get away."
"Does anyone ever come with you?"
"No. You are actually the first person to ever be up here," he says.
"Why do you have two chairs?" I ask.
He shrugs his shoulders and looks away from me. He looks out at the water, but I keep my eyes on him. "I guess I've just been saving it for the right person."
I smile, "So I'm the right person?"
He looks back at me and has the biggest smile on his face. "I don't even know how to explain any of this."
"Explain what?"
"Us," he says. "I just have this feeling. This feeling that I'm supposed to be with you. I'm supposed to help you through all of the bad and take care of you. I'm the one that is supposed to love you. I've never felt like this before." He pauses and then goes on, "I never thought love at first sight was real, but then I saw you. I saw you and everything changed."
I blink the tears away and he holds onto both of my hands. He is right though. I feel the same way. It's like we are supposed to be in the whole crazy thing together. It's almost like we experienced love at first sight.
"I feel the same," I whisper back.
He leans in and presses his lips to mine. It's a very quick kiss, but it's full of love. He pulls away and rests his forehead onto my forehead. "Will you be my girlfriend?"
I smile, "I thought you would never ask." We both laugh, "But yes."
***
"What did she say?" Edwin yells right when we walk in the door. He then sees me behind Nick. "Oh, shit. Sorry. I didn't know you were coming back."
I laugh, "It's cool."
"But she said yes," Nick says.
"LETS GO! ZION YOU OWE ME TWENTY BUCKS!" Edwin yells while storming off to Zion's room.
Nick and I laugh. "Of course he thought you would say no."
"He's just dumb," I say.
We sit down on the couch together and I rest my head on Nick's shoulder. He turns on the TV and he covers us up with a blanket.
"Can we watch Friends?" I ask him.
"Sure," he says. He turns on the show and we just lay in each other's arms watching it. Literally not even thirty seconds into the show Zion walks in.
"We are having a party tonight."
Nick looks up at him, "We are?"
"Indeed we are," Zion says.
I don't say anything, but I hate parties so much when I'm not feeling the best. Parties are okay, but when I don't feel good I just want to lay around.
"When?" Nick asks.
"An hour."
"An hour? Thanks for the heads up," Nick says sarcastically.
Zion walks off, "No problem."
Nick looks down at me, "We can do something else if you want." I definitely want to do something else, but I don't want to kill his vibe.
"No, it's fine," I say. "I'm just going to change first."
I sit up and he sits up with me, "You have clothes?"
I chuckle, "I keep some in the closet upstairs since I'm always here."
"Oh," he says. I walk upstairs and I go into the closet. I go to Nick's bedroom and I change really fast. I put on a pair of jeans and a purple crop top. Nothing too fancy.
There is a knock on the door, "Come in!"
Nick walks in and walks over to me. He grabs me by the waist and pulls both of us down onto his bed. My head rests against his chest and he rubs my back.
"Thank you," I say softly.
"For what?"
"For staying here with me and just being you. I'm so grateful for you," I say.
He kisses the top of my head, "I'm not going anywhere."
***
"TAKE ANOTHER ONE!" Brandon yells to Zion who is taking shots. This boy is going to die from drinking. I'm not even lying. Rehearsals will suck for his ass tomorrow.
Everyone starts cheering and yelling for him and I just smile. There parties are so much fun. So much shit happens.
"Ma! Come dance with me," Nick yells over the loud music. I walk over to Nick and we start dancing in with the crowd of other people. I swear dancing makes me feel so good. I feel so free and loose.
We all sing along to the songs while dancing like idiots. After about twenty minutes of dancing I feel myself wanting to throw up. I run to the bathroom and I hear Nick yell for me. I shut the door and I throw up everywhere in the toilet. It hurts so bad.
The door flies open and Nick walks in. He holds back my hair as I continue to puke. Once I think I'm done I sit back.
"Are you okay, ma?"
"Yes," I say. "It's probably just some food I ate or something. I'll be fine." He nods his head and helps me stand up.
In reality though it's not any food. The food is fine. I'm scared though. I'm scared to know why I'm puking now.
What more could happen to me?