FINE
"So, this is goodbye?" I said as I clutch on my seat looking anywhere besides him. We just arrived, though we're neighbors I don't think we'll ever interact again. Everything's going back to what it should be before. In the right places. There's no US, to begin with.
Without looking at me he said
" Yeah. I guess it's goodbye." Taking a deep breath I compose myself and slowly went out of the car. I don't wanna look back, I will never look back. I bite my lips while I take my stuffs at the backseat and with shoulders hanging low I head inside my house with a heavy heart.
I toss my backpack grumpily and emotionally exhausted in the foot of my bed and slump in as I sigh heavily multiple times -looking at my empty ceiling thinking how fucked up I am. Tears starting to flow slowly in my eyes in an instant. I'm such a stupid stupid stupid person.
Thinking that everything's okay when it's not. It will never be. I'm so torn and caught up with my feelings. I feel so lost. Torn between two people, one- a best friend who left me behind but I still let him ruin me, willingly. two-the person whom I thought finally saw my worth but in the end, played my heart.
Where am I gonna stand this time?
where?
I'm not fine.
Totally not fine.
Lost in my own thoughts I heard my phone ring. I lazily took it not even looking who it was.
"Hello?" im not in the mood to talk to anyone but if it's important then I don't have any choice but to listen to whatever it was.
"Rosie? Let's talk. I'm outside." Taehyung said. Gone where the sweet cutesy voice. It was serious, a dark wounded sound perhaps.
"Tae, I'm tired. Besides, it's late." whatever it is I think it's best to talk it out in the morning. I'm still in pain and I don't think I can handle him this time.
" I won't go home until we talk." he said firmly. Sighing on whatever his game is, I rub my wet face from tears lazily with my hands as I went outside. I didn't even bother checking what I look. I don't need to. He's just playing anyway.
Told my nana that Tae is outside and I'll be back right away. I head outside and head inside his waiting car.
"What now?" I ask tiredly.
He didn't say anything but started the car to who knows where we're heading. After a few minutes, we reach his house. The house was empty so I assumed nobody's home but us. Following him without uttering a word the tension is boiling. I don't even know what his deal is but I'm not in my best state right now.
As soon as we're inside his room I slump on his bed and he slams the door hard making me twitch for his sudden behavior. For the past months, I've learned to know if he's angry, happy, sad, etc. And I know that in his state right now, he's angry.
"What's your deal?!" I snap. I couldn't take this sudden silent treatment anymore. If it's about anger, I should be the one who's angry right now not him.
He didn't say anything but he sat on the side of the bed.
I saw him making a fist like he's trying to hold his anger and if not he'll probably punch someone. I waited for him to say something, but he isn't doing anything.
Since he's not going to say whatever the fuck is bothering him I layed on his bed and look at the ceiling. I have so much in mind right now that dealing with another problem is a NO for me. I'm too exhausted. What if he'll pull the trigger I'll probably explode any minute.
But it wasn't only me. I could also feel his tensions. He's like a ticking bomb.
It was a long and excruciating 15 minutes. He was silently sitting in the bed while I'm still looking at the ceiling.
"Was it nice fucking behind my back?" it was low but his voice was dark. He wasn't looking at me but I sat up shock at what he just said. How did he know? Thinking about what he did I couldn't help but fight back.
" It was nice." I said void with any emotion. He turned at me and looking at those deathly stares I know I just hit the right spot. He's exploding.
" Your a cheater!" his voice was full of disdain
"Coming from you? Then guess who made a bet just to take my virginity?" I mock looking at him matching his angry eyes. He was startled when he heard what I said.
His face turns pale as he looks at me in terror. He didn't utter any word.
I chuckled sarcastically. " Cat got your tongue?" I hissed and removed all my clothes. he was only looking at me. Bare naked I tugged his shirt pressing him on my chest and looked at him in disgust. " Now you can fuck me all you want. Tell your friends that you successfully did." I'm angry... so angry that im literally exploding right in his eyes. My voice is void with any emotion but my eyes show disdain and disgust. Men will always play with women. They will gain your trust and when you're already used to bad they'll hurt you, leave you and probably make fun of you.
He lowered his head down. I don't know what his deal is but I'm pissed off. Totally pissed off.
I poked his chest hard several times.
" What are you waiting for?! Fuck me Taehyung! That's the only thing you want right? I won't tell them I'm not a virgin anymore now FUCK me!" I shouted. I couldn't help but shed a tear. I'm so used up right now that hell I don't care anymore.
He wasn't responding so I harshly grab his face with my palms and kiss him aggressively. This is what he wants right? I'm starting to hate myself for letting Jungkook ruin me and now I'm giving Taehyung the satisfaction as well of ruining me. And after this, I swear, I'm never going back to who I was before.
I was kissing him forcefully when his shoulders start to shake. I stop in horror as I felt tears streaming his eyes. What's wrong with him? Is this what he wanted? Then why cry?.
His body is shaking as fresh tears streaming down his face. Looking down, he turned to look at me.
" I'm sorry Rosie, I lied. I fucked up. I really did. But I regretted it." I can see the sincerity in his eyes but am I gonna believe him?
" I .......I know you won't believe me but I've fallen in love with you Rosie. I already talked to my friends, I can't deal with them anymore. I'm stupid for even thinking I can have everything I want. I lost in the game. B.....but I don't want to lose you." he said trying his best as his tears slowly covering his eyes.
" Bullshit." no matter how pitiful he looks I can't seem to take it easy.
" I know. I fucked up," he said as his shoulders run down breathing heavily looking anywhere but me.
" I don't think I can trust you anymore Tae." I said with a heavy heart. I'm done with everything.
He holds my hands firmly so I won't have a chance to let it go and looked me straight in the eyes. " Please Rosie.. please give me a chance. I.... I'll do everything to make it up to you." he pleaded
I cherished all the things Taehyung did for the past months. He was the best thing that happened to me. He's like a ball of sunshine that healed my broken heart. It may not be love but it's a deep affection that I'll always cherish. I can definitely forgive him like what I did with Jungkook but I need to heal from all of this.
Cupping his face, I looked at him removing the tears on his eyes with my thumb. " You know that I am always thankful for everything you did Tae right? You helped me a lot and I will never forget that. I may not love you but I cherished you so much that it hurts to know that I trusted you with all that I am but it was just a game after all. If.....if you really love me, then give me time to heal Tae. Coz I'm too shattered right now. Please?" I asked as tears running slow in my eyes.
He nodded and kissed my tears away.
" I will wait..."
We sat there not talking but our hearts are calming down. I stood up wearing all my clothes back.
"I need to go." I said and he nodded.
He looked in the window biting his lips to avoid crying. " Can I send you home?"
"No, I can manage." I don't wanna stay anymore and it's better to cut the string as early as possible. We may see each other again and probably bond as how we used to but not for now.
Before shutting his bedroom door close I turned to face him.
" Goodbye Tae."
He looked at me with his pleading eyes. Gripping his sheets not to run for me, he controlled his self. He closed his eyes tight and looked at me again
"Goodbye, Rosie."
I quickly went out of his house. I may probably won't step foot in this house anymore but before taking a cab I glance to look around for the last time.
Winter Vacation ended with a shattered heart but I guess this is for me to start afresh. School is starting back today I took some time to fix myself and said my goodbyes to nana. Finally, she agreed to let me have a driving lesson before school starts and allowed me to use my dad's car. It wasn't used for a long time so we had it repaired. It's still good as new atleast it won't be hard for me to go to school.
Stepping out of the car, I still find it amusing how people looked at me. Maybe because of Taehyungs help I learned to dress pleasingly.
As I walk inside the hall I saw Taehyung walking by as well. People don't know what happened yet and they were expecting us to approach each other. After looking at each other Taehyung nodded as if telling me that he'll respect my decision so he turned to walk in the other direction earning gasp and gossips from the people around us.
"Did they broke up?"
"Yes, I bet Taehyung's tired of her. I'll make sure to flirt with Taehyung later."
"Is she single now? Dude, I'll make sure she'll be mine!"
"No, she's mine!"
"No, She's going to date me not you!"
Ignoring their gossips, I continue to head on the classroom. I saw Jungkook with his girlfriend who as usual clinging on him like a leech.
He looked at me but I didn't glance at him at all.
Starting today, I'm on my own. I'll be stronger and braver. I'll be more confident.
And so I did.
High school ended pretty fast. People started to appreciate me and my skills. I graduated 2nd in all of the classes. As for popularity, I pretty did excel as well. Taehyung and I never spoke a word but he would always look at me from the distance. I even heard him scolding those who gossip about me. As for Jungkook before the class ends I heard he caught Tzuyu making out with Chanyeol in the swimming pool locker. He causes a fight and was suspended for 2 days. But was back like a normal person as he did before.
I admired how he could easily forget Tzuyu. How he can easily move on while here I am, still holding on to my feelings but burying them in the deepest pit of my heart.
Finally.
We graduated and here comes
UNIVERSITY.
UWU!!