I fall asleep almost instantly, dreaming of dancing in a ballroom practically identical to the retreat. My partner's face is blurred, but I can guarantee who my subconscious is imagining. I force myself awake and shake the thoughts from my head. I don't even like to dance. I don't even like Ryan Jefferson.
I toss and turn for a while, trying to fall back to sleep, but my brain obviously wants to punish me for ruining that bizarre dream. I roll over and grab my phone, checking the time: 7:34 a.m. I groan and drag myself out of bed. I have an hour and a half before I need to head to the cabin and help Zoe get the girls ready for the day. I consider walking through the trails again, but it seems kind of eerie when everyone else is probably still asleep, so I settle on the lake. It looked so tranquil last night; an early morning swim might just be what I need to wash all thoughts of that dream, or nightmare, away.
When I've managed to wrestle my costume on, I pull my hair up into a bun and head down to the beach, towel, phone and hoodie in hand. I drop them next to a log not that far from the shore and kick my flip flops off.
The water laps the sand invitingly as I roll my neck and shoulders. The sun is already up and bright, but the lake is empty as far as my eye can see. I wade in, ignoring the goosebumps that spread across my body; I wasn't expecting the water to be warm. I dunk my head under the blue-green water, instantly feeling refreshed.
For a few minutes, I float on my back, watching the wispy clouds dance across the sky like blobs of candy floss. Once I've found a cloud that looks like a tree, giraffe and boat, I turn over and front crawl towards the island in the middle of the lake.
When I was little, the island had this awesome elephant slide that all the kids went crazy for; you slid down the trunk and then it would squirt water at you. It broke a while ago though, and Jen has only just replaced it with a taller, longer slide that throws you out across the lake to a floating, bouncy platform. It's still pretty cool, but I miss that dang elephant.
I'm about to stop and take a quick break when my head bumps into something hard. Ow. I don't remember there being anything else in the lake. I look up quickly, rubbing my sore head, and come face to face with a small boat.
"Oh, God, sorry! Are you OK?" I freeze at the voice. This is just perfect. A hand reaches over the side of the boat just before Ryan Jefferson's face comes into view.
Well, I'm in deep water now. No pun intended.
"Yeah. Fine. Thanks," I mutter, looking back across the lake. Crap, I swam past the island without realising. I'm in Jefferson Lake territory.
"Let me help you, are you staying at the retreat?" Ryan asks, a quiver in his voice. He's probably afraid I'm going to sue.
"Uh."
"Wait, I know you, don't I?" He says rather proudly, as I cling to his boat. I try to steady myself as my head throbs. "You were at the welcome banquet?" It's a question. He's not sure. I can still get out of this.
"I don't think so," I reply as he stretches his hand out towards me. What am I meant to do but take it? I doubt he'll let me swim away after I hit my head on his boat. I just hope that I look as far away from Eleanor Hepburn as I can right now.
The boat creaks and rocks slightly as I, rather inelegantly, flop into it. I sit down on the bench opposite Ryan Jefferson, who looks like he's playing the role of outside-loving-teen-boy today, rather than the heir-to-a-stupidly-expensive-retreat he was the other night. His hair is gel less today, and it's actually a little fluffy on top. He's wearing bright red swimming shorts and a white T-shirt.
God, how does he make something so basic look good? Ohmigod, I did not just think that!
Ryan hands me a towel and I wrap it around myself, suddenly very aware of how much skin is on show.
"Yeah, you were. Eleanor, right?" Well damn. "Do you want me to have a look at your head?" He asks softly.
"No, I'm OK," I reply. No, I really I don't want you to have a look at my head. I want to go back in time and tell myself that this morning is not the morning for a swim.
Ryan shrugs and picks up the oars. "Well at least let me find you some ice back at the retreat." I smile because there is nothing I can say without giving myself away. "Sure you're OK? You seem quite pale, and you're not as chatty as the other night."
I feel like shouting 'no! I am obviously not OK, I just hit my head on a boat!' but I restrain myself. I don't really know what to do. Should I be nice to him? Should I give him the cold shoulder? He hasn't really done anything, I swam into the boat. And he's actually being quite nice; he hasn't talked about himself once yet.
"Sorry. I'm just tired. I thought a swim would help wake me up." I offer him a small smile.
"It's breathtaking out here, isn't it?" Ryan rows the boat at the slowest pace possible as he looks out across the lake. The sun hits his brown eyes at just the right angle to make them twinkle.
I look away quickly, feeling my cheeks burn. This is Ryan Jefferson. I can't think things like that.
"I love the mornings out here. Sometimes I sleep in the staff quarters just so I can get up early and have a swim, or come out on the boat," Ryan continues, his voice soft. He's not talking to me specifically, he's just talking. I smile, and then I stop myself when I realise what I'm doing. "So, I lost you the other night," he says quietly, still looking out to the lake, but I can see the corner of his eyes flicker in my direction.
"Yeah, I kind of got swept up in it all. There was food on my dress so I went to clean it." I shrug, continuing to avoid making eye contact.
"I didn't see you at the make up dinner last night," he adds. There's something in his voice that I can't put my finger on.
"Oh. Yeah, we had a reservation in town somewhere," I mumble quickly.
The boat bumps against the shore on the wrong side of the lake and I stand quickly. Too quickly.
"Whoa, steady." Ryan catches my arm and keeps me from falling back into the lake. "Let's get you some ice," he says softly as he helps me off the swaying boat.
"I'm fine, really, thank you." It comes out as a whisper, my cheeks heating up again.
"Well, let me take you to your room then. I want to make sure you get back safely."
"No," I say quickly, feeling my heart hammer against my chest. I shake his arm off hastily. God, who would have thought that a prank would get me into this kind of trouble? The guys are going to have a field day when I get back. "I mean, everyone's out." Ryan looks at me dubiously but doesn't say anything if he doesn't believe me.
I start to panic as we enter the retreat through a Staff Only door. What if he finds the truth out now?
"Can I use a phone?" Ryan nods, leading the way to the reception. I check the clock above the desk and gulp. I have thirteen minutes until I need to be at the girl's cabin with Zoe. I pick the phone up shakily, aware that Ryan is only a few steps behind me.
Jen's red Ford KA pulls up in the car park seven minutes later and I sigh a breath of relief. This nerve-racking ordeal is over.
"That's my aunt," I say instead of goodbye. I move towards the doors as quickly as my jelly legs will let me.
"So, I was wondering if you wanted to maybe hang out tonight?" Ryan shoves his hands into his swim short pockets and offers me a nervous smile. He looks almost bashful.
I don't know what I've said or done to give him the impression that I want to hang out. I mean, I've been cold and short. Unless. . . Oh crap, does he think I've been playing hard to get? Acting like I couldn't care less because I'm actually infatuated with him. Oh God, I might be sick.
"I, er, can't. We're leaving today," I say quickly before walking out of the door. I can't watch his face, I can't see how he feels about my lie. "Don't ask," I tell Jen as I climb into the car.
We drive back to the camp in silence. Every now and again I see Jen peek at me, but I'm not going to tell her. It may just be the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me.
I think I'm just going to avoid the lake for the rest of Summer. Great.