Billie's POV:
I don't know why, but the internet now literally hates us being together. They comment under my posts and Maddie's posts saying that we would be better off without each other, there used to be so much love and support. But now there's literally none.
I try to talk to her about it, but she shuts me down and changes the topic. I'm scared that our relationship is going to crumble, she's not trying to fix it.
I walk down the stairs and Maddie's standing against the island, her arms are crossed and she was looking down at the ground. She had her glasses on and she exhaled sharply.
She heard me come down the stairs, Milo's tag was jingling as she was following me. She looked up and quickly wiped her eyes, I rushed over to her but she walked away from me.
Billie: "Shorty, what's wrong?"
She walked away and stood in the corner of the kitchen in the same position, she was in when I walked down. Her arms crossed, her eyes low.
Billie: "Talk to me."
I stood away from her not wanting her to move away from me again, I boosted myself up on the counter and watched her. Tears streamed down her face as she was lost in her thoughts.
I thought about what would have her like this, and then it hit me. It hit me like a bus.
Billie: "No, no, no." I mumbled to myself, and I ran my hands through my hair.
Billie: "This is about us." She looked up at me and her lip quivered. Her thoughts aren't good.
Maddie: "This has to end." She could barely get her words out, it took me a second to process what she said.
Billie: "No, what? What are you talking about?" I forced back the tears that are now burning my eyes.
Maddie: "This isn't working."
My words get stuck in my throat and nothing comes out, she should've talked to me when she had the chance, she shouldn't have shut me out.
Billie: "I refuse to let us end over that."
Maddie: "There's nothing else that we can do! I don't want to call it quits, but..."
Billie: "You said it yourself, we're endgame. We can fix this." I tried to stay calm even though the amount of heartbreak I feel right now is crazy.
Maddie: "That was before the publicity, and everyone else knowing what was going on between us. The whole thing wasn't bad, I love you and I had an amazing time with you-"
Billie: "Stop, what are you doing?" Pain rang in my voice.
Maddie: "I'm trying to break up with you but you're not letting me!"
Billie: "I'm not going to let you break up with me! Why would I let you do that?!"
Maddie: "You would be better off without me, you wouldn't get hate anymore. You could live your life in peace."
Billie: "No, what? Listen to yourself, I couldn't live in peace if I'm not with you! I refuse to let this end, what do you wanna do?"
Maddie: "I want you to forget about me and move on with your life, you might be in pain for awhile, but you will get over it. As much as this hurts, it'll be the same way for me."
Billie: "Why do you want to end it?"
Maddie: "You have done nothing wrong, and you have done everything right. I told you that every time I could, you made me feel loved and you still make me feel loved. It's the public."
Billie: "Then let's cut it off to the public, we'll say that we broke up but we really didn't but the public think we did."
Maddie: "I'm still gonna get hate because they're going to say that I broke your heart and vice versa."
Billie: "You don't think that we're strong enough to get through this?"
Maddie: "It's risky Billie, if anyone see's you leaving my house, or if anyone see's us together. Then it will be over every news article. I can't do that to you or myself."
Billie: "What are you doing to me?"
Maddie: "Loving me is hurting you and it's the same way the other way around."
Billie: "Your career?"
Maddie: "Brands rejecting me, things are getting taken away from me because I'm in a scandal or whatever. I'm sorry Billie, I'm really sorry."
Billie: "Kenzie said that any brand that doesn't want you because of me isn't a brand that you should be working with anyways."
Maddie: "That's different, I got rejected from prettylittlething because of the scandal. This isn't something that we can just fix."
I rested my elbows on my thighs and ran my hands through my hair, she walked over to me and rested her hands on my hips. I looked down at her, her cheeks were stained. I took hands and wiped her face, she leaned into my touch.
Maddie: "I love you, thank you for taking care of me for 10 months."
Billie: "I love you, and thank you for being my everything for 10 months."
Maddie: "I have the dumbest question."
Billie: "Nothing's dumb."
Maddie: "Why are you like giving in?"
Billie: "Because I know this isn't over."
Maddie: "It is though."
Billie: "How can you say that with such ease?"
Maddie: "Because it's what's best for both of us."
I tried to respond but I couldn't, everything was becoming blurry and her words kept repeating. I felt a hand on my shoulder and it was shaking me.
I instantly sat up, I looked around and we were on a plane. We were on a plane back from Paris, oh my god I had the dream again. While I was asleep on her shoulder.
Maddie: "Are you okay?"
I ran my hand over through my hair and looked at her, our hands still connected.
Billie: "I had a dream that, never mind I'm okay I'm good."
Maddie: "Talk to me." She turned to face towards me.
Billie: "For the past two weeks or so, I've been having the same dream over and over again. I don't know why, but like the internet just starts to hate us. You call it quits, and I can't get through to you. Normally it's longer, but I woke up."
Maddie: "Give me it in detail, what happened?"
Billie: "You were standing against your island, and you had your glasses on and you were crying. You tried so hard to convince me breaking up would be the best move, I tried so hard to try and get through to you but you just weren't budging. It was like that for the majority of it, but then you said 'I love you, thank you for taking care of me for 10 months."
Maddie: "Aw babygirl, you're not gonna lose me. It's going to take a lot more than the internet to start making me question everything."
I smiled at her, and nuzzled closer to her. My breathing had slowed down. I'm okay.
I definitely was not going back to sleep, I don't know why this dream felt the realist. The other dreams, weren't as detailed and I don't remember every word of the conversation. But that one, I remember every word and every detail. I remember what hoodie she was wearing.
I kept thinking about all the happy times I've had with her and how we're going to have more. Nothing is going to happen, and that's a fact.
I was awake for the remainder of the flight, I was excited to be back in L.A. but I also don't want to go to this meeting about tour. The meeting's tomorrow I don't know why, but I feel like something's not going to go as planned.
Kenzie picked us up both from the airport and she gave us both a hug, we walked to the trunk and placed our suitcases in there. We realized that there was someone in the front seat, it was Holden. Once Maddie and I got into the backseat we smiled at each other.
Kenzie got into the car shortly after, they laced their hands together and Maddie and I fist bumped as we let out light laughs.
Maddie: "So."
Holden: "You guys got what you wanted." He laughed.
Maddie leaned forward and looked in between Kenzie and Holden.
Maddie: "Don't forget what I told you." She patted Holden's shoulder.
Kenzie: "What did you tell him?"
Maddie: "Don't worry about, but I will continue to take full credit for your relationship."
Maddie leaned back and I wrapped my arm around her, she rested her head on my shoulder. I kissed the top of her head before getting comfortable.
We pulled up to Maddie's house. It was 3PM our time, I know she's tired. I'm tired as hell. We got our suitcases and walked into her house, Milo greeted us. I know she missed me.
Maddie put her suitcase by the door and I did the same, she looked at me with tired eyes and walked to the couch. She dramatically threw herself onto it.
Kenzie: "I hope you're not tired, because we have a fitting for the photoshoot tomorrow and the Shorty Awards."
Maddie groaned, and held her hand up and I grabbed her hand. She pulled me down and now we were cuddling.
Billie: "Come on shorty, you gotta look fire for tomorrow." I patted her back.
Maddie: "I always look fire." She whined.
Billie: "I know that, but you have to make sure you look good for when you win."
Maddie: "I'll look good I promise, but I'm tired." She rested her head on my chest, and wrapped her arm around my waist.
Billie: "We can cuddle for as long as you want after your fitting."
Maddie: "How about we cuddle for as long as I want and then we have the fitting?"
Billie: "We will be here until next week."
Maddie: "Try next year, but go off."
Billie: "Shorty, please, for me."
Maddie: "No."
Billie: "Look at me."
She looked at me.
Billie: "Please go to your fitting, for me?" I stuck my lip out at her.
Maddie started to say no, but she just couldn't.
Maddie: "Fine." She got up with a pout.
Billie: "Shorty."
She looked back at me.
Billie: "I love you." I smiled at her.
Maddie: "I'm mad at you." I grabbed my chest in a joking way, she couldn't hide her smile.
...
I was laying in our bed scrolling on my phone.
Via Instagram:
Liked by: billieeilish, belltwins, and 7,141,025 others.
madisonvoyage: single😤
billieeilish: y'all do not listen to her, she's mad that i wouldn't cuddle with her😂
mvupdates: I can't breathe🥺
I walked to her glam room where she was sitting on the couch, she tried to hide her smile from me but she failed.
Billie: "So you're single now?" I smiled at her.
Maddie: "Yup, I want someone that likes to cuddle." She said playfully.
Billie: "I know someone that likes to cuddle."
Maddie: "Oh really? You think I could get her number?"
Billie: "Yeah, let me see your phone."
She handed me her phone, started to type in my number.
Billie: "It looks like you already have her number."
Maddie: "She wouldn't cuddle me."
Billie: "I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
Maddie: "She manipulated me, because she knows that I can't say no to her."
Billie: "She can't say no to you either."
Maddie: "So you wanna cuddle?"
Billie: "I would love to."
She laid down in my lap and I started playing with her hair.
Billie: "Did you finish your fitting?"
Maddie: "Yes."
Billie: "Are you lying?"
Maddie: "Yes."
Billie: "Shorty!" I whined.
Maddie: "All I have to do is pick out a dress."
Billie: "Then pick it out and we can go cuddle in your bed."
Maddie: "But it's so much work to try all of them on."
Billie: "The longer you complain, the longer this is going to take."
Maddie: "I'll take my chances." She looked at her phone and it was 7. "Can we cuddle until 8?"
Billie: "Then you promise to do your fitting?"
Maddie: "Yes."
Billie: "Pinky promise."
I held out my pinky and she hesitated to lock her pinky on to mine. She sat up and pulled me to the bedroom. She got into the bed, and I followed her.
She tangled our legs together, she rested her head on my chest and I wrapped both my arms around her. She had one of her arms around me.
Maddie: "You smell really good."
I moved closer to her even though that's impossible, I saw her smile in the mirror that was across from us. I took one of my hands and started running it through her hair.
She was drawing invisible patterns on my hip, I was looking at her nails.
Maddie: "Stop looking at my nails, I need to get them done."
She stopped drawing patterns.
Billie: "I won't look, but keep doing what you were doing." I placed her hand back on my side.
She laughed at me kept doing what she was doing, it was a comfortable silence. I know she wanted to fall asleep, but she couldn't. She has a photoshoot tomorrow and the Shorty Awards are tomorrow.
I already know she's going to win the Shorty Awards, I've been voting for her for that too. It was quiet and then my phone started ringing causing us both to jump.
Billie: "Hello?"
Finneas: "Did I catch you at a bad time?"
Billie: "No, it was quiet and then my phone started ringing. What do you need?"
Finneas: "I just wanted to let you know the meeting's tomorrow at three."
I took my phone away from my ear.
Billie: "What times the shorty awards tomorrow?"
Maddie: "Like 5-9."
Billie: "Okay."
Finneas: "Can you make it?"
Billie: "I can do both."
Finneas: "Okay, I'll pick you up tomorrow."
Billie: "I'll drive, it's fine."
Finneas: "You sure?"
Billie: "Yeah, do you know anything about the meeting?"
Finneas: "It's the same meeting we have before every tour."
Billie: "It's not going to happen for a long time right?"
Finneas: "I'll talk to you tomorrow."
Billie: "Finneas!"
Call Ended.
I ran my hands through my hair and sat up, he didn't tell me. That means it's something bad, I know that this isn't going to go as planned.
Maddie: "You okay?"
Billie: "The meeting about the tour is at three and those normally take hours, and it's right before the Shorty Awards. I want to be there."
Maddie: "Babygirl, if you can't be there that's fine. Your career comes first no mater the circumstance."
Billie: "But it's the Shorty Awards."
Maddie: "I know that, if you can't come you'll be here when I get back." I sighed, I would want her to choose her career over me.
She sat up and looked at me, if this tour happens sooner than I thought I will be pissed. I want her to go. But I also want her career to take off too.
She sat on my lap to where she was straddling me, she had her hands connected around my neck and she gave me a soft smile.
She rested her head on my shoulder and I rubbed her back under her shirt.
Maddie: "I love you."
Billie: "I love you too, and I will be there. Even if it's two minutes before your award, I will be there."
Maddie: "I'm not going to make you pinky promise."
Even if she doesn't make me pinky promise, I'm still going to hold it as one. I will be there.
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did i get you, lmaooo this shit was fun as fuck to write 🤪
this is my favorite chapter lmao
thanks ily
words: 2640.