Ye-jin fastened her seatbelt and hit the gas pedal, sending her car out of the pit immediately. It was one of her last few runs before she flies for the competition, meaning she was counting down to her last set of laps until she retires. She still couldn't wrap her head around the fact that she was about to give up what she has dedicated her life to in the last twenty years. She thought about what Bin said, that he was surprised with how sudden it was. She wanted to tell him that she too was surprised and that she was devastated, but she chose to keep it to herself for the time being. He was the closest person she has in her life but the process of figuring things out wasn't a burden she wanted to share with him and put him through.
She shook the thought out of her head and focused on driving. As she accelerated around the track, her adrenaline rose even higher. She tightened her grip on the steering wheel as she approached the curve, her body fighting the severe G force as she made the turn. As the speed increases, so does her heart rate. She could feel it pounding in her chest.
"Maintain the five feet to your left," she heard her spotter say. He's part of her crew situated on a high platform with a full view of the track who communicates her surroundings to her. "Perfect turn, Ye-jin. Nice one. Let's take it up higher."
She continued to drive with the guidance of her crew. "Last two laps, Ye-jin," she was told as she approached the curve again.
It was shortly after making that turn when a familiar feeling distracted her. She tightened her grip on the steering wheel as her chest began to tighten and she became lightheaded.
"Hold it, Ye-jin, hold it," she coached herself while trying to calm down.
"Dan, I need a break," she said to her spotter over the headset.
She could feel her head becoming lighter as she got dizzy, followed by the cold sweats and the nausea kicked in. She did her best to slow down as quick as she could while fighting the lightheadedness. The heat in the car wasn't helping and she was in her full race car gear with her helmet and face shield on.
"Ye-jin? What's going on?"
Her spotter watched from the top as the car slowed down and veered off the track.
"Ye-jin, are you okay? You're off the track," she heard him say. "Ye-jin?"
She came to a stop on the grass and immediately unbuckled herself from her seat. With the loss of energy from her current state, Ye-jin struggled to lift herself up and slip out of the car. She barely made it but with every ounce of strength she had left, she managed to get herself out and she quickly took her helmet and face shield off while unzipping her gear.
"Ye-jin?" She could still hear the two-way communication inside the car but she just didn't have the strength to reach inside and answer them.
Ye-jin leaned on the side of the car after stepping out of her gear and used it to slide herself down to the grass, her head resting on the car while she took deep breaths. Her shirt was soaked with the sweat from the heat inside the car in addition to the cold sweats she was currently having. She closed her eyes in an attempt to stop the sensation of spinning. Just like the other times, she felt like she was going to faint.
"She's down. She's down on the ground," the spotter reported to her crew chief via the radio.
She was lying on the grass with her eyes closed when her crew got to her.
"Shit! Ye-jin??"
She heard the panic in her crew's voice, prompting her to open her eyes. She quickly, but weakly, used her arm to cover her eyes from the California sun.
"I'm alive, I'm awake," she mumbled as she closed her eyes again and put her arm down.
"What the hell happened? Ye-jin, you're as white as a sheet," Aaron said to her before giving instructions to call the paramedics.
"Aaron, no," she said to them as they bent down beside her. "Please, don't call."
"Ye-jin, we can't not call for help. What happened? How are you feeling? You're so pale."
"It's getting better," she mumbled while her eyes remained closed.
"But Ye-jin..."
"It was just the heat," she reasoned, cutting him off. "Don't call. I already feel better."
"Ye-jin...."
"Aaron, please, I don't wanna argue. I feel sick, just give me a couple of minutes," Ye-jin insisted.
It took her longer than a couple of minutes before she actually started feeling better. As with any other episodes she's had, she felt extremely exhausted even after recovering from it. They helped her get in the service car and drove her to the lounge.
"Ye-jin, you should at least go to the hospital to get checked out. What if you had a heat stroke out there?"
She took a sip from the water bottle and shook her head slowly, careful not to get lightheaded again.
"There's no need for that," Ye-jin answered. "Really, I'm fine. I'm gonna call it a day and head home. I think I just need to rest."
The sound of the door opening made them all look that way.
"Beanie," Ye-jin said in surprise while she sat up. "What are you doing here?"
He acknowledged the presence of her crew by nodding while quickly making his way towards her. "Yej, what happened?"
"Thanks for coming, Bin," Aaron said while he gave his shoulder a squeeze.
"Of course, thank you for calling me right away," Bin replied to him before turning his attention to Ye-jin.
"Are you okay? How are you feeling?" He asked with worry written all over his face.
"Better," she answered with a weak smile. "Just really tired."
"They said you were down on the ground. Did you faint?" He asked as his eyebrows met.
"No, I didn't," she answered truthfully.
"You still should've let them call 911, Yej. You should be seen by a doctor."
She took a deep breath before reaching over to wipe her finger across the creases on his forehead.
"I'm fine, Beanie. It's really hot out there and you know how it is with the gear and stuff, it can get really bad in the car. It's nothing I can't handle," she said with a smile, hoping that he would be convinced with her reason.
Bin took a deep breath and reached for her hand, giving it a tight squeeze. "I'll take you to your primary doctor and then we can go home. You need to at least see him to make sure it's nothing serious."
"Beanie, I just want to go home. Let's not argue about this," Ye-jin said as she leaned back and closed her eyes.
He let out a heavy sigh before nodding to her team. "I'll take her home. Thanks, guys."
"Take it easy, Ye-jin. Keep me updated, okay?" Aaron said as he put a hand on her shoulder.
"Will do, boss. Thanks for your help," Ye-jin replied with a smile. "Let's go?" She said to Bin.
Bin helped her up and stood to her left, his left hand holding on to her hand while his right arm was across her back.
"Wow, such a gentleman," she teased.
"I can't believe you're still teasing me after what just happened to you. You can barely walk," he replied while shaking his head.
"I told you I'm fine," she smiled weakly at him. "And I'm walking just fine," she added.
It hasn't even been five minutes since they started the drive home but she already fell asleep in the passenger seat. Bin kept glancing at her and he noticed her colour wasn't completely normal yet.
When they got to her condo, Ye-jin took a quick shower before getting under her covers.
"You don't wanna eat first?" Bin asked her while he was sitting beside her on the bed.
"I wanna take a nap first. I'll eat when I wake up," she answered with a smile. "Don't wait for me, just eat lunch. I'm sure you didn't even have time to eat lunch before coming to the track."
"Don't worry about me, Yejie. Just get some rest."
"Okay," Ye-jin said.
He turned away from her to push himself off the bed when she called his name.
"Beanie?"
He stopped midway from getting off the bed and he sat facing her again. "Yeah?"
"Thanks for being here," she said sincerely.
Bin gave her a genuine smile and bent down to kiss her forehead softly. "Always. Go ahead, just let me know if you need anything."
She gave a subtle nod while taking a deep breath before closing her eyes. Bin watched her doze off immediately, taking a deep breath himself as he walked out of her room. He got to work in the kitchen to make them late lunch.
Ye-jin woke up a few hours later and she could smell him cooking even with her bedroom door closed. The thought of him taking care of her made her smile, but it was soon wiped off of her face when she was reminded of the incident on the track.
She was angry with the fact that she was told to quit racing but she understood very well why it was needed. That conversation has been repeatedly playing in her mind over the last couple of days.
"I'm sorry, Ye-jin, but racing is just not an option right now. As your doctor, I'm telling you to stop immediately. While you may survive a race without crashing, your heart may not make it through another race. You may not live to finish a race in its entire duration. The average heart rate of a race car driver during a race is between 140-170 beats per minute which already puts a lot of strain on a normal heart. At your current state, your heart cannot simply handle a sustained rate like that. You have those presyncope episodes because your brain's not getting enough blood flow when your heart sustains your irregular fast heart rate. You can't risk an episode like that on the track while going over 200 km/h."
"Will I be able to go back again? On the track, I mean?"
"I'm sorry, Ye-jin. It doesn't look like that's a possibility right now. I've been your doctor since you were a little kid, so I know just how important racing is for you, but we're talking about your life here. As of now, we're waiting on the tests you're scheduled for so that we can find out what's causing this. We'll have a better idea of what's causing that once you get the tests done. Your cardiologist will talk about it in detail with you when you meet with him."
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes again, the lump in her throat still lingering around. She turned to lay on her side while bringing up her hand to her chest.
"One more, just one more. I know I'm pushing your limits but let's get through one last race," she said in her mind as if coaching her heart. "I need this one last race."
Bin turned to look towards her bedroom when he heard the door open. She stepped out in her pyjamas with her hair up in a messy bun.
"Morning, Beanie," she said with a smile.
"Morning," he replied with a chuckle because their humour was such a match.
"You're up already?" Bin asked when Ye-jin approach him in the kitchen.
"Yeah. How is it only four in the afternoon? It feels like I slept through the night."
"How are you feeling?"
"Good as new," Ye-jin answered while taking a seat on the bar stool in the kitchen.
Bin looked at her intently. "Liar."
"What?"
"You still look tired," he pointed out without taking his eyes off of her.
She smiled and giggled at him. "It just looks like it but I'm well rested."
Bin sighed. "Liar," he repeated.
She shook her head and made her way around the kitchen island to peek at what was in the pot. Her eyes lit up when she saw that he made her favourite. He took a spoon out of the drawer and scooped some of the sauce out, blew on it and held it up for her.
"Mmm that's so tasty," she said after trying it. "You make the best thai curry chicken soup."
"Go have a seat, I'll put some in a bowl for you," Bin said to her while grabbing two bowls from her cupboard.
"It's okay, Beanie, I got it," Ye-jin said while getting the spoons.
"Yejie, let me do this," he said with a look that made her sit back down on the stool.
"Scary," she mumbled to herself, making him laugh.
"I'm scary?"
"Yes," she replied with no hesitation.
"Since when were you scared of me?" He asked with curiousity while fixing them separate bowls of the soup.
"Whenever I'm sick and you give me that you-gotta-do-what-I-say-or-else-look," she answered as she lightly bit her lower lip while looking at the soup he was serving.
He loved it when she bites her lip like that.
He placed their bowls down in front of her and reached over the kitchen island to pinch her cheeks. "Stop being adorable."
"You really want me to stop being adorable?"
"No," he said quickly with a smile.
"Hah, I thought so," said while sticking her tongue out at him.
"You want flatbread?" He asked.
"Yes, please."
"What else do you want?"
"That's good, Beanie, thanks."
She watched him heat the flatbread up and serve them on a plate for her. He then grabbed glasses from the cupboard and filled them with water before sitting down beside her. He looks after her like no one has ever done.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Bin asked.
"I love you, Beanie. You know that, right?"
He turned to face her and looked straight into her eyes.
"Of course, Yejie," he said with a smile. "Come on, start eating while the soup and flatbread are still warm."
He brought the flatbread closer to her along with the napkin holder and he was about to scoop some soup with his spoon when he lifted his head up to look at her.
"Hey, Yejie?"
She looked at him with a smile. "Mhm?"
"You know I love you too, right?"
Ye-jin smiled even more and nodded. "I know, Beanie."
In the entirety of their friendship, they rarely said those words but even so, the love between them was so palpable.