The dress was sunset woven into shiny fabric, garnished with sequins and glitter.
It was a bit too over the top, and didn't look quite right on her, but who was she to complain, when her alternatives were waiting tables or-
No. Chrissy had made a vow with herself that she would never go back to that job.
Plus, the nightclubs of Canterlot paid generously. And her performing arts fees weren't getting any smaller. She needed the money for her classes.
What she needed to do was look forward, rather than back. Not that she would ever. Today was a new day, which meant a fresh start. A new dance routine. A new conversation.
A new insult, a new glare.
Don't think that way, Chrissy chided herself.
"Maybe something good will come along today," Chrissy said, applying one dash of lipstick. She sighed internally as she spotted the nearly empty compartment. "Oh well. I'll borrow Evie's for tonight's dress rehearsal."
******
Quiet was the only way she could describe the streets of Canterlot. A forlorn atmosphere clung to the few people outside like sweat, a type of haze she couldn't quite place. Significantly fewer young men and women were around, many having died in the massacre.
Yet the nightclubs, of all things, were still open. Probably to provide some sort of happiness for everyone.
Chrissy pushed open the back door to the Sunset Spectacle with some effort, grunting as it creaked open.
The rehearsal room may have been sparse in luxuries, but it certainly wasn't unkempt. A few overhead lights were suspended from the ceiling, and a floor length mirror covered one side of the room.
Eleven faces looked back at her from their various stretching spots on the floor.
"Hi guys!" Chrissy greeted them all. The rest of the Spectacalites nodded back, murmuring nonchalant words of hello.
"Hey Chrissy." Evie gave her a wave and a half smile, gesturing next to her.
"So, Spectacalites." Mr. Silvana got their attention. "This week, along with doing solos, you will all be performing a group routine."
"A group routine? Do they do that here often?" Evie asked her.
Though both girls were new Spectacalites, Chrissy knew too much about all the Canterlot club's specialities.
"No. The Spectacle is known for solo shadow dancers. This is gonna be so exciting!" Chrissy squealed a bit too loudly. "What do you think the prompt is gonna be?"
"Something that has a lot of meaning," Evie guessed.
"Hopefully it's not too sad though. We really could use something lighthearted!"
"As for the prompt," Mr. Silvana continued.
Please be something good and not depressing and mournful. Life is already sad!!
"It will be the Dark Side of the Moon." Mr. Silvana allowed for a quick second of discussion, watching them all.
The response was a chorus of "what's that" and "never heard of it". Chrissy had heard Sombra and Luna discuss it before in their conversations. She knew it was a folk tale of sorts, but didn't know the details.
"Does anybody know what the heck I'm actually talking about?" Mr. Silvana was clearly slightly agitated by the dancers' responses, but couldn't muster up the strength to scold anyone.
Evie's hand went up quick like a snake. " The swallow's beak points towards the moon. Keep following it Northeast, until you reach the Wings, jagged cliffs which are the feathers of its wings. So far North, you will be able to see the dark side of the moon. And underneath it is the Wish Granter's hut. May all of your wishes come true."
Everyone's mouths immediately fell open. Evie looked a bit unsure of herself.
"Yeah, Evie reads," Chrissy backed her friend up. "Genius knows her stuff."
"Correct. The story of the Dark Side of the Moon really revolves around hope, and a desire for something. It involves making sacrifices to get what you want, and your wishes coming true. Our wisher, Chrissy, will get the lead."
"Wait what?!" Chrissy shrieked. Her! Her as the lead! Always the bridesmaid, never the bride was done!
"Congratulations." Evie gave her a genuine smile.
"Evie, you'll tell those famous lines, then run back to join us. The story will follow Chrissy, as she completes a journey through the Everfree Forest to get to the Wish Granter's hut. Summer, over here," Mr. Silvana narrated, "will play our Wish Granter. Of course, she demands something in return. And sacrifices must be made."
All the dancers got to their feet, some saying nice things, others not too much.
"Now, Chrissy, you start at the back. Everyone except Evie, pair up and get into vertical lines. Face each other and put your palms together above your heads," Mr. Silvana directed.
All the girls scurried into their places, scuffling along the lightly sprung wood floor.
"Summer, you start at the very back, and after Evie narrates the excerpt, she'll run back and you'll be partners."
Two hours later, the routine was choreographed and Chrissy was very, very, very hungry.
Taking advantage of the small break they got, Chrissy and Evie went to go get lunch at a cafe, one of the few places still open.
"So," Evie started the conversation, slipping into a booth. "What do you think of the routine?"
"It's pretty cool! The lifts......" Chrissy trailed off. They reminded her of when Jet was strong enough to lift her up and spin her around. But his health problem had sapped his strength like a tapeworm.
"What about them?" Evie asked, eyeing her over the rim of her glass.
"I'm afraid I'm gonna fall," Chrissy fibbed quickly, avoiding Evie's piercing glare.
"Look, if you're worried about Jet, that's ok. We all are," Evie comforted her, laying a hand over hers.
"How did you know?" Chrissy inquired.
"You're a bad liar, and I'm your friend," Evie admitted, ending her blunt remark with a smile.
"It's as if I've never had something whole, you know?" Chrissy started. She'd never really told people much, cause they never cared. But Evie...Evie listened. And Chrissy needed to be heard.
"Go on," Evie said, her eyes wide with focus.
"My parents were divorced ever since I was young, so I never had a full home. This was towards the end of the Great War, so Equestria was in its big financial crisis. A few years ago...."
Evie was still listening, soaking up every word. All the tables around her took no notice of them, caught up in their own rowdy conversations.
A waiter set their food down in front of them.
Both girls had salads, Chrissy's consisting of dark leafy greens and a few vibrant berries, while Evie had light translucent colors of spring for her meal.
Chrissy lifted a forkful to her mouth-
You'll never be pretty if you eat. Binge and purge. If you don't get to 90 pounds you're not our friend anymore.
She winced at the thought. You're better than that. You're better than that! You're beautiful, and those girls weren't your friends. You have Evie!
"Chrissy, are you ok?" Evie was visibly worried about her, the crease in her brow and purse of her lips a perfect demonstration of that.
Chrissy didn't want to tell Evie more, but she had never opened up to anyone, and she had started already. And she could trust Evie.
In case anyone was eavesdropping, Chrissy cast a Silence Bubble around them so no one could hear their conversations. It was, she was sad to admit, her strongest spell.
"A few years ago, I took up prostitution," Chrissy blurted out, gulping at the end.
Evie's eyes widened with surprise, but her gaze remained intent.
"My friends did it as well, and they said it made a lot of money. It was my best option. This was before the nightclubs got big, and my dance fees needed to get paid somehow....sorry," Chrissy looked down at her salad, a blush blossoming across her face.
"In times of desperation, we will do anything for survival," Evie quipped.
"But...I'm sorry Evie. I don't know what you'll think of me anymore. I feel so bad about it and promised myself I would never-"
"Don't be sorry, you did what you had to do," Evie comforted her. "We all do what we have to do to achieve what we want. It's the way of the world, it's our nature."
Chrissy took a moment to think about what Evie had told her, contemplating everything over a few bites of kale and a tart berry.
"I need the bathroom," Chrissy muttered, before getting out of her chair and finding the door at the back.
There, she gripped the edges of the sink, staring at herself in the mirror. The fluorescent light of the bathroom seemed to bring out her worst features: her too flat nose, her asymmetrical eyes, her hair, which simply hung there, neither dead straight nor lush waves.
Out of habit, she took her two fingers and put them down her throat, but stopped halfway.
No. You're better than this! Those girls weren't your true friends! You already eat healthy, and exercise! You don't need to do this! Two of your friends are hospitalized. Don't add to everyone's worries! All you'll be is a distraction, and they won't want to hang out with you. Evie won't want you.
Chrissy glared at her shaking fingers, grabbing her wrist with her other hand.
Remember the hospital trip?
It was three years ago. Chrissy had chosen not to vomit. Instead, she had pushed herself to the brink of starvation:
Flashing, too bright lights, beds and nurses and frenzied voices.
All had settled but the voices. "Drink this", "choice", were the words she picked out of the chaos of syllables, along with someone holding out a cup to her.
Foolish, she shook her head no. She had come so far! She was so, so, so close. Just another pound or two.
Everything shifted into focus. "Then we'll have no choice than to use a feeding tube." Chrissy screamed, she begged. Heck, she even tried to fight with stick-thin limbs as they (easily) held her down. "You brought this upon yourself."
That was all she was told. That it was her fault, that she was a foolish little girl, that she was in the wrong.
You brought this upon yourself.
But why? All she wanted was to be accepted, to have something whole. But no matter how hard she tried, people turned her away, or manipulated her.
Her scars hadn't faded. Those nights in bed had left her with a marred self-esteem and harsh words. She had a fragile digestive system from her year spent purging. Even her strength wasn't what it quite used to be.
Even her body wasn't whole.
Why do I even try, if it's pointless? Chrissy asked herself.
I've done everything right. I've been good, I've worked hard, I've studied in the library and even spent nights praying. Then why? Why do I get this in return? Saints, whatever I did to deserve this....I don't know. What did I do wrong this time?
The clock on the wall was suddenly too big and too noticeable, and Chrissy winced at the time. Fifteen minutes until rehearsal resumed. Evie's voice outside the door had a hint of worry in it.
The Dark Side of the Moon. I don't know if you're a hoax-
Evie's voice was growing louder.
Or if you are actually real.
Evie's voice had a harsh edge to it.
But maybe, just maybe, you've given me hope.
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