Donghae’s POV
“Shit. It’s the storm”
All eyes widen and fluttered to what we just read. Indeed. It really is a storm. A terribly strong one. No one has seen it coming, or maybe someone did, but not too soon.
And like what was written on the cookie, we needed to be firm. In fact I felt no worry towards how it can affect me; I was more seized on its probable impact to her.
Eunhyuk places down his hand and phone, looking at me in worry. Before he can even utter a word, I immediately walked out, marching my way to 2NE1’s suite even if im still wearing the hotel slippers on and my hair brushed in every direction.
I rang the door bell several times and pounded my hand on the door, calling out their names, my heartbeat racing, I can hardly hear anything, only the sound of emptiness and my heavy breathing, my eyes fidgeted in every corners of the wooden block before me, waiting for it to open.
Please... be here... Please...
Yet no one answered.
My eyes shut tightly, realizing I really am too late. It’s true they have left without telling us.
How am I asleep when a disaster was going on in their part? I shouldn’t have been easily eased when Minzy says there’s no problem at all… I should have insisted on staying with them just in case something bad happens…
I could guess YG have called and asked them to leave right away. The rumor break out was grave enough to handle, what more with the news of GD’s accident?
Dara must be having a difficult time.
I went back to our place and immediately packed my things. “Hyung book me a flight back to Korea please”
A few stood up in shock and ponder my sudden choice to leave.
Junghoon hyung (manager) frowned and lead to disagree “Don’t tell me you plan to follow them” he stood by the doorway watching me as I throw in clothes here and there into my luggage. “Hae-ah, you can’t”
“What do you mean I can’t? I need to be there, hyung… I need to be by Dara’s side... so please just book me a flight”
“We know you want to be with her and give her strength, Hae. But I’m pretty sure YG family will be there for each other. Leave it to them”
For the others aren’t aware of GD and Dara’s relationship, they do not clearly understand why I’m extremely worried about it the most. Eunhyuk and Siwon on the other hand know, yet they still didn’t take my side and tried to talk me through it.
“We understand you, fishy. But hyung is right, didn’t you see the articles? It’s not wise to show up and confirm the rumors that you really are both in Bali. There’s rumor can greatly affect us… we can’t afford to be reckless”
“But…”
“Let’s not be hasty. Let’s wait for SM’s call first. He’ll tell us what to do”
I clenched my fist together, feeling exasperated. Siwon places his hand on my shoulder, trying to soothe me down.
“If you really care for her, then you don’t want to add another problem to her. For now it’s better if we stay on the down low and not cause things to get bigger”
I threw my bag off the bed with heavy strength, expressing my intense frustration. I wasn’t mad for stopping me, I believe they give the right judgment and strong point, but I can’t help not to act hasty. I just can’t…
Not when I am starting to believe that I am to blame.
This is entirely my fault. Even though I didn’t know the entire story behind it, I feel like I hold responsible. If I didn’t provoke GD, he wouldn’t have been psyched out; none of this would have happened... he wouldn’t have been into an accident.
My selfishness…
...this is what it caused.
And I am certain that Dara’s heart could be hurting right now, how she could be crying at this very moment, drown in anxiety and confusion.
I used my hands to cover my face in shame, and like nightfall, darkness wrapped everything around me, leaving me without any clue of how I’ll be able to bear it through the night. I can only wait for tomorrow that when the sun rises it brings light and rays of hope back again.
* * * *
Dara’s POV
During long flights, seeing me crying is a normal sight due to my aerophobia. But today I barely bothered crying about that and instead my tears are for the sadness swarming all over me.
The misery from knowing about Jiyong’s state just kills me inside; I’m very much worried about him, wishing he’s not in a critical condition.
Seriously what disaster is happening to me. What a way to end a great week really. This is not how I expected my Bali vacation would end. I imagined that somehow I would return with a clear mind and a decision.
Instead I come back with the most baffled mind.
With much great effort, I tried to cry quietly and discreetly as I can, I try not to be a burden to everyone else inside the first class area. Yet the more I kept it in, the more I struggled.
“Don’t worry, Darong. Jiyong’s gonna be alright” Bommie, who sits next to me, as usual gets to be my comforter, giving me loads of Kleenex and patting my head like she always does.
“I’m scared...”
“Don’t be. He’s strong and be well quickly”
“What if he doesn’t?”
“Oh you little faith... As if you don’t know how much of a tough guy he is” She added, tying her hair up in a bun to getting ready for a short slumber. She turns off her TV screen and the tiny light above us.
“So you better stop crying and give your eyes a rest too, okay? Or else I’ll have no choice but knock you out...” then pulls out a Karate chop after... “Ah~YA!!!!”
I wailed since her attack hit near my throat.
“Tsk. Tsk. What a sadistic noona” Seungri peeks his head from the seat in front. “Can’t you see she’s already crying her eyes out and you’re still trying to kill her?”
“That’s why I’m killing her, so she’d stop crying”
The maknae can only laugh to himself for his seatmate (TOP) is soundly sleeping and he will get murdered by his death rays if he ever get disturbed.
“Noona, we will be there soon, okay? But for now you better at least get some sleep. We still got 4 hours before we arrive in Japan, might as well use it on replenishing your energy.”
Four hours more? I hate how this trip feels so long and forever. I can’t wait till we land and be by Ji’s side. I looked over my watch to check the time, we’ve been on the air for 3 ½ hours... and it’s already been 6 hours since we left the resort...
After the manager oppa received the call and told us what happened with Ji, we immediately jumped off the couches and started moving; packing whatever it is we see that’s ours. An hour later we left to the airport, made quick arrangements and were able to take a 5:30 PM flight. In such a hurry we didn’t even think about knocking the Suju’s dorm.
And now they’re perhaps be waiting for us for dinner yet we will never show up.
I bobbed my head down to stare at the bracelet tied on my wrist, thinking about Donghae and what his reaction and feelings will be once he finds out we left without goodbyes. I can’t help not to feel sad and cry about it. Things were going well and perfect between us, but…
Jagi-ya… mianhae…
…I have to go to him...
When we arrived in Japan, it was around 1 of midnight and there weren’t much of press people who welcomed us. But there are still a few determined ones, enough to blind us with their flashes the second we walked out of the airport doors. Bombing us with questions I couldn’t care less. We didn’t entertain them as we are only focused on one thing right now and that is to see Jiyong.
The van brought us straight to the hospital; they escorted strictly accordingly to YG’s orders and when we reached the room he’s in… I felt like hell was upon me. My heart shattered and knees weakened the moment I stepped inside.
Whenever I see how worn out he is during his endless tours, long flights and tight schedules, my heart already aches. What more now that he’s lying there with a few bruises and bandages on his body, immovable and unable to wear his beaming smile and tell me “I’m alright, baby girl. I just need your kiss and I’ll be well”
Why? Why should I have to find him this way? Why is he lying there when he should be in the recording studio making badass and epic songs? Why does he look so miserable when he should be living happily with Kiko? Shouldn’t he be living accordingly to why we let each other go for?
The faucet of tears has once again turned on as I stood next to him and embraced him. “Ji… wake up…” I sobbed against his lean shoulders. “Please wake up...”
Chaerin stayed by my side and pats me on the back. The others tried to console me too telling me he’s going to be alright.
Even the doctor told us there was nothing to worry about anymore and he just needed to recover. It’s a relief to know he’s safe and in good hands now, but I won’t feel relaxed until I see his eyes open and reassure me he’s fine.
Inside the room are, us (who came from Bali), YG, Teddy, Kush and Daesung... The other YG artists have already been informed but they aren’t much obligated to fly back soon, because Jiyong’s already in a fine condition and they aren’t involved in a rumour / trouble that needed emergency measures for.
Unlike us.
But before YG can even bring up about that, Bommie has asked about something that I am equally curious about. “Where’s Kiko?”
Teddy oppa sighs with his hands inside his jacket’s pockets. “She’s still in quite a shock, so she was taken home first to rest”
“What exactly happened?”
They told us what occurred that day. According to witnesses, Kiko and GD walked out of Tokyo Heavens apartment with Kiko crying hardly and behind her GD followed, exposing what seems to be a love quarrel out in public, and that’s where basically the break up articles originated.
It was said, Kiko was clearly upset, she tries to get away from him, running and passing through large crowd of people, while GD continued to apologize and woo her, chasing her down the busy streets of Shibuya. Some says he’s been outrageously reckless and crossed the streets even the lights are green, disregarding the vehicles and danger.
Until that one very wrong step... he was hit by a fast car, throwing him off the ground. People around were too shocked it took them a while to aid him quickly.
“Esh~ this kid is so reckless” one cries with a heavy sigh.
“In the first place what the fck are they doing in public? Why did they choose to fight there?” Kush ask furiously. “Why didn’t they just stayed up in the apartment?”
Shoulders shrugged, definitely that was the question but who knows what actually happened between them two upstairs, and what could they possibly be fighting about that lead to this. If only Kiko was here, we’ll have our answers.
But I don’t think she’ll show up any soon. Not when she’s still in state of shock, and definitely not when press people/paparazzi still have their eyes guarded on her every move.
That leaves us and our wonderings on hold, we can only wait until she’s ready.
“Do you think it has something to do with the rumors going about?” YG suddenly blurted out and everyone turned quiet.
Seungri breaks out an awkward fake laugh. “The Super Junior rumor? Eh~ How is that even connected?”
“Why isn’t it possible?” the raspy voice that mostly holds coldness and cruelty passes to my hearing and makes me choke in my own fault.
I won’t deny, I also did think that maybe me being with Donghae has something to do with this, that call on KKT… however we can’t immediately assume that. My head need not to turn I can already tell he’s looking at me.
“Are you guys really with Super Junior in Bali?” Sajangnim asked in a serious tone. “Are the rumors true?”
No one answered. The manager tries to defend us but Chaerin asked him to stop cause there is no point for it. YG need not to hear the answer, our silence gives the hint alone.
He clicks his tongue and sighs heavily. "You know how much trouble it cause you?" He asks in a rising tone. "Isnt inviting them to the concert enough? Why do you have to make a scene on being in a vacation together?"
“I don’t think it’s the right time to grill them, hyung” Teddy says, placing his hand on sajangnim’s shoulders. “A lot already happened today… Let’s give them a break”
Truly it’s not the right time and place to discuss about that, a lot has happened today and I am not in the right mind and mood to hear any lecturing. In all honestly, everything he just said only came as yaadaas and blahs to my ears. I dont care about anything right now.
Besides it’s midnight, it’s time to call it a day.
Later on he realized it too, and arranged hotel rooms we can stay in for the mean time, he then bitterly left with the Teddy and Kush earlier than us.
Downstairs awaits our shuttle but I have no plans of going anywhere.
“Let’s go, Dara?”
“No… I will stay”
“Come on. You didn’t sleep the entire flight. Seriously get some rest”
“No” I leaned my head on the mattress space next to ji's body holding tightly on his hand. There’s nothing that can drag me away from his side, no one can convince me to leave and they know it.
They exchanged glances at each other, and no longer tried to persuade me and left.
I grabbed a chair and placed it next to the bed. And for hours, there I stayed in watch – waiting.
On the sofa, lies our manager, he chose to stay behind in order to keep me company and says that I should atleast have a person I can talk to, but as I have thought he has fallen asleep.
His snoring joins the beeping noise from the life line machine. Yet in spite of all that synchronized sounds, the hospital is still very quiet. We’re in the middle of wee hours anyway, everyone is asleep, even the corridors and rooms are dimly lit.
And with that environment, gradually I start to feel sleepy and my body pulling me to take a nap… but I still couldn’t bring myself to close my eyes, for the fear that I could possibly miss the second Jiyong opens his.
Tonight brought me back to the ‘me’’ who would wait for him for hours just to be the first person to welcome him when he arrives from a trip. The me who wants to be the first one he sees and gives his smile to.
Until today I realize that desire actually still exists in the deepest bottom of my heart.
I brushed my hand on his hair, tracing it down to his face. It’s been a really long while since I get to see him sleeping soundly like this, the face that I love to stare at whenever he falls asleep on my lap as he takes a break on writing songs... then he would smile when he opens his eyes and sees me. "I had a good dream... it's about you"
Countless of our memories come back to me. All the good things and the bad, the fun and happy times together and the fight and hurtful words we threw at each other. Everything.
Those four years that we chose to leave and move on to, it’s back to my grasp once again. Why… I closed my eyes as I take a deep breath, taking my hand away from his trace.
Why do you keep confusing me?
* * * *
Normal POV
Morning came and still GD was in the same state as last night.
A handsome guy came for an early visit. He places down bags on the floor and nudged the shoulders of the girl who also didn’t move from her spot and earnestly guarded the patient.
"Dara..."
Dara lazily gets up, scuffing her hair, her eyes half open, slowly waking up to her wits. When she realized she has fallen asleep, she immediately turned her head and checks on GD.
And she got disappointed to what she finds.
“Don't worry i know he’ll come around soon, just be patient” the guy says with a warm smile.
Only then it got registered to Dara's brain that it's him who came. "Ah you're here!!! How come? When did you arrive?"
"A few hours ago. I passed by the hotel and they said you stayed here overnight" se7en opens a paper bag and handed out a sandwich and drink to Dara. “Here. I brought you breakfast”
She smiled, touched by the sweet gesture, she turns to face the couch to invite the manager to eat but then it was empty. “Where’s manager oppa?”
“Ah he went to the hotel that’s why I came as his sub. You know you should go too”
“No” she quickly protested. “I can’t… what if GD wakes up while I’m gone”
“It’s just for a few minutes. And do you really want him to wake up with a smelly Dara whose clothes have been worn since yesterday?”
“I don’t care. I won’t ever leave this hospital until Jiyong wakes up. No matter how stinky I get”
Se7en chuckles. “That’s no-no. It’s unsanitary and unhealthy” he says, giving her a bag which seems to contain her clothes. CL apparently packed all of those for her, just in case she insists on staying and she really did.
Dara claps her hands silently.
“But CL said, you should atleast go get some fresh air outside and free your mind from all stress” he suggested but the former still shakes his head. “Go on. Even if it’s only in the hallways, I’ll accept it, just do some stretching! Please… As soon as GD responded I’ll call you out right away”
“it seems they begged you to convince me" she chuckles, noticing his persistent self.
"Yeah theyre worried about you..."
“Where are they anyway?”
“YG called them to discuss about the rumours”
Dara groaned, oh crap yeah that’s another thing to worry about. She stretch her arms wide.“I just can’t deal with any of those right now”
“Must be really hard on you and Donghae. Imagine your relationship is just starting and you’re already hitting rocks” Se7en says. Dara's eyes widen immediately, surprise how he knows about it, he laughs.
"Do you really think i wont know?" In YG, the people who's known to be a genius and knowing everything is yg, seungri and se7en. They easily get the facts and truth on things thats why its not advisable to lie to them because theyll eventually know it in no time. “Have you guys talked already?”
“Hmmm not yet…”
“Why? You know he could be worried sick right now”
“I know… I just…”
Se7en saw that glimpse of indecision in her eyes. “Hep! What is that expression!? Don’t tell me your heart is already wavered!? Ya Dara… I thought you love Donghae…”
“i do”
He asks once again why she hasn’t talk to him yet. Was it really because of GD? Did her heart changed so quickly after seeing GD state?
“I just don’t know how to face him… I left him without any second thoughts to be with Ji, without any goodbyes… I won’t be able to stand it if I hear him hurt or mad…”
“But avoiding him would just make things worse, Dara” Se7en pointed out. “If I were in his shoes and not hear anything from you, I would start to think that you have chosen Jiyong… Unless you really did…”
“No! I told you i love Donghae”
“Then why are you like that?” this is the first time she has seen him in years and yet she sees a Se7en so worked up and expresses his frustration. “Seriously, dara... Sort out your feelings…”
“I did. I already chose Donghae, but this happened and now I’m confused again…”
“The more you let yourself be confused, the more confusing and complicated things get” the chingu spoke seriously. “And in the first place, if you really love Donghae why are you easily confused?”
“Are you really sure that you love him?"
"And not just as a rebound?”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A/N: Sorry for the wait my dears. Huhuhu Ack its december... cramming to update coz i dont want a sad chapter to hit christmas right? Anyway... Thanks for waiting! and reading! Sunday see you? :)