January 8th: Paris.
Billie's POV:
Today was our final day in Paris, it's now like 7. I have a date planned and I can't wait. Maddie really enjoyed Fashion Week, but I was bored out of my mind. Paris has been fun as fuck, we're both happy.
Maddie's currently laying on the bed scrolling through her phone, it's safe to say that our sleep schedule is fucked up again.
I've been dreading leaving Paris, because when we get back. I have a meeting with my team, about another tour. I know it's not going to happen for months, but knowing that I'm probably going to have to leave her again. It hurts.
The dream isn't as consistent, I still have it, but it's more like once a week instead of every night. I was stressed about this dream because I've had dreams where they happen the next day, and I was okay with those happening. But if anything happens with her, I don't know what I would do.
I walked into the room, and she locked her phone and opened her arms. I fell onto the bed lightly and she wrapped her arms around me, she smiled at me and kissed my forehead.
Billie: "Are you ready for our date?" I moved a strand of hair out of her face.
Maddie: "Yes."
I stood up and pulled her up with me, she stood on her tippy toes to kiss me. I grabbed the key card off the dresser, she grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the door.
I wouldn't lie to you, I have nothing planned for this date. We're probably just going to walk around and get food, her and I can have fun doing anything. It's fun when dates are planned, but it's also fun when they're spontaneous.
We walked out of the hotel, and our hotel was located in between a bunch of tour sites or whatever. Maddie's had no time to look around or do anything. There was Fashion Week, and she's had fittings and everything.
She announced her clothing line with Claudia yesterday, and I was thinking about it. She was never that excited when a new piece of her line came out before tour, I think that she just didn't enjoy it as much as she enjoyed doing this. She didn't have any help with her line, but Claudia was there every step of the way.
Maddie: "I've had fun with you." She looked down at our joined hands.
Billie: "I've had fun too shorty, it's always fun traveling with you." I smiled at her.
We ended up in this really pretty area, there was no one here, it was just her and I in our own little world. She was walking ahead of me, and she was spaced out. I took a picture of her.
She heard the camera click and she turned back and smiled at me.
Maddie: "You're precious."
Billie: "You're precious."
I caught up to her and took her hand, the one thing on my mind is the meeting. I've known about it for almost a week, I don't wanna tell her because I know all she'll think about is the day I leave. But I don't even know the day I leave.
I don't think I'm gonna tell her about the dream either, because I'm not having it as often as I was. It'll probably just stop and I'll move on with my life.
Maddie: "You okay?"
Billie: "Yeah."
Maddie: "You sure?"
Billie: "Yes shorty, I'm fine." I lightly laughed at her.
She looked me in my eyes to see if I was lying, I wasn't. But I wasn't really telling the truth, I mean it's bothering me but I'll be okay.
Billie: "Are you ready for the Shorty Awards?"
Maddie: "Quit changing the topic, what's wrong?" She looked at me with concern in her eyes.
Billie: "I'll tell you when we get back, I don't wanna ruin Paris."
Maddie: "You're not going to ruin it, talk to me." She sat on this bench and I sat by her.
Billie: "When we get back, I have a meeting with my team and Finneas and everyone else about another tour."
Maddie: "That's what's stressing you out?"
Billie: "I guess, you reacted differently than I thought."
Maddie: "Even if you do have go on another tour, it's not going to happen for months and months and if I can't go we will make it work and you know that."
Billie: "I don't know, its just like the concept of tour is always scary I don't know how to describe it."
Maddie: "I promise that if I am able to go, I won't hide it from you again." She laughed.
Billie: "You might be able to go?"
Maddie: "It's always a possibility, but like I'm not going to dedicate my career into making sure that I can go. I've learned my lesson with that." She smiled.
Billie: "Wait so you really might be able to come?"
Maddie: "I'll talk to Kenzie, it all depends when tour starts. I would be so down to travel with you again."
Billie: "Say fucking less, I was scared that I was going to have to leave you again."
Maddie just smiled and placed her hand on my thigh.
Maddie: "Don't get your hopes up though, there's a chance I could go and there's a chance that I can't."
Billie: "I know, but there's a chance that you're going." I couldn't help but smile.
She got up and pulled me up with her, we ended up in this little cafe. I'm not going to lie, Paris is amazing I've barely been recognized but I haven't really been out in public either. There's no paparazzi. It's just amazing overall.
It made my day that she might be able to go with me, my label loves her so it probably won't be a problem. My family loves her, so they would be happy as hell that she came along. I'm really hoping that she can come, because tour was better with her there.
But if she has to choose between me and her career, obviously I want her to choose her career. Because I don't want to fuck up her career, even though I wanna be selfish and take her on tour. I will gladly do that, if it doesn't affect her career.
Her career wasn't affected while she was on tour the first time because she worked around it, and she was working so she could go on tour. But now, she's just working. Kenzie worked on what she wanted to do when she got back from tour while we were on tour, and now that's what they're doing.
I don't know when they're going to tell me when tour is, or how long it's going to be. I know it's going to be longer than the other one with more stops, it's going to be an arena tour. I know the basics.
Maddie: "I'm glad that I get to travel with you. I would be bored as hell if you didn't come with me."
Billie: "And then when you go to London, you'll have Kenzie and Claudia."
Maddie: "But it won't be the same if you're not there."
Billie: "We already went to London."
Maddie: "I know." She smiled.
We walked back to the hotel, we've been gone for about three hours? Like I said, our sleep schedules fucked but we'll fix it soon. Hopefully.
Our flights hella early tomorrow and it's a ten hour flight. We always sleep during flights, so hopefully I sleep the entire time.
I unlocked the door to our hotel room and she threw herself on to the bed, I fell right by her.
Maddie: "You should send me that picture, I need a picture for Instagram."
I pulled my phone out of my jacket pocket and sent it to her, her phone dinged and she opened it.
Maddie: "Kinda fire, wouldn't lie to you."
Billie: "I said fire one time, and now that's all you say." I laughed at her.
Maddie: "Bitch shut up, you know you were saying 'tank you's' for a nice three weeks."
Billie: "You got me there." I smiled at her.
Via Instagram:
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madisonvoyage: 'kinda fire, wouldn't lie to you.'
billieeilish: i am very tempted to comment 'fire.'
madisonvoyage: @billieeilish this is your fault😂
She turned off her phone and rolled over to face me, she was looking at me. Not saying anything, she was being serious. I'm so tempted to say something, but I have to enjoy this moment because it doesn't happen very often.
I smiled at her and she moved a piece of hair out of my face, she left her hand rested on my neck. She leaned over and kissed my forehead.
Maddie: "I love you."
Billie: "I love you."
She moved over and rested her head on my chest, my hand rested on her hip and I started drawing invisible patterns against her skin.
It's quiet, this sounds so stupid but you can literally feel the love in the air. And there's a lot of it. She's not asleep because like I said, our sleep schedule is fucked. I was looking down at her watching her eyelashes move every time she blinked.
Maddie: "I will be getting the next date."
Billie: "That's fine." I smiled at her.
Maddie: "Milo gets her shots tomorrow, and then we'll be able to take her to dog parks."
Billie: "She'll have so much fun."
Maddie: "I know, I'm happy that I'm finally getting to live the life that I deserve."
Billie: "After everything you've been through, you deserve a happy ending."
She didn't say anything, she moved closer to me and smiled. She might doubt it, but she really does deserve everything that she's getting.
She sat up and rubbed her eyes.
Billie: "Are you tired?"
Maddie: "No but I should be."
She looked at her phone and it was now 1 in the morning our flights at 4 in the morning, so there's no reason to sleep now and then wake up.
Billie: "You wanna stay up until the plane?"
Maddie: "Not really, but there's no reason to go to sleep when we have to leave in two hours." She rested her head on my chest to where she was looking at me, I sat up just enough to kiss her.
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next chapter, im just going to apologize in advance. from the bottom of my heart i am sorry.
thanks ily
words: 1767.