Olivia's in the kitchen opening a new bottle of wine for them, dressed in a pair of his sweats that she'd rolled twice at the top and an oversized t-shirt. She's fresh out the shower and her hair is halfway dried and begins to wave up into amber tendrils all over her head. He had just finished showering after her, just as eager to get the grime of the work day washed off. He's matching her almost in a pair of sweats too as he leans against the doorframe to the kitchen.
Zara has a game tomorrow morning that they both are definitely going to and he had convinced her to spend one more night with him. He knows he should probably feel guilty but he also knows that Olivia was just waiting on one small reason to spend one more night. Nick's mouth tips up in a smile when she turns around to face him with two glasses half full in her hand. She's fucking beautiful. Maybe it's the fact that she's here standing in his kitchen barefoot with no makeup, and her hair is going all sorts of ways that only happens when she lets it air dry. He only gets to see her like this here in his house when they're together, and he hates to think about all the bastards who've gotten the privilege to see her like this.
"You got some crumpets or cake to go with this?" He teases her and takes the rosé from her hands. She admonishes him, shaking her head with a small smile.
"C'mon, humor me for a little," a laugh escapes her. Normally he left the wine drinking up to her and went for a beer, but she always had him taste a sip or two of her glass trying to get him to enjoy a glass with her.
She took a sip from her glass and wished he could get a taste of it on her lips. If only it were that easy.
Slow.
He reminds himself.
She intakes a breath of air and he knows he's been caught looking at her full lips that she's now biting the bottom of.
"You done?" She rasps and smirks over at him before pushing past and going around into the living room. Her body relaxed into the leather sofa with her feet stretched out onto the wooden coffee table. He followed behind falling next to her and took a few sips from his wine. "It's good huh?" She looked over at him just satisfied that he was drinking the wine.
He reached over and tucked her hair behind her ear. Her face tilted into his palm with her eyes sliding shut. The tips of his fingers knitted into her hair, with his thumb lightly massaging her temple. "What are we doing?" He grates. The four words hold the future attached to them.
"We're sitting here drinking wine, and I'm debating on if kissing you again is a good idea," her tongue runs over her top lip and the movement of his thumb stops. She's barely half way through her glass so he knows she's definitely not drunk.
"Liv.." he chides her, feeling the effect of her words on his libido. "That's not what I mean," Nick leaned to place his wine glass on the coffee table and turned more towards her. He had kissed her and she was more than approving. For months they tiptoed around this conversation. When words exchanged between them began to have meaning; the hugs turned longer and lips that touched cheeks or foreheads. It's time for them to talk about it.
"Nick- we know exactly what we're doing," she sets her wine down also and matches his position on the couch. "I want you to know I'm fine. If anything is going too fast between us I'll tell you," her hand comes up to take a hold of his that rested on his knee. Their fingers intertwine with one another and it feels so natural that it almost scares her.
"You're my Sargeant," he states it as if they both don't know how much they've just put at risk.
"I know," her voice is barely above a whisper. The serious talk wasn't supposed to come this soon. Olivia wants to enjoy the honeymoon stage, the relief of finally admitting what they both have been feeling. But that just isn't possible anymore. He isn't just her partner these days. She's running the precinct now- it's going to cost them a lot more than just switching partners.
"I still have over a month until I'm divorced," he adds.
"What's with this, Nick? What's the point? You think I'm not aware of how much we're putting at risk?" her hand loosens from his and she feels a moment of defeat. "Look, if you regret the kiss- if you've changed your mind-" she's silenced once she feels the weight of his lips tenderly suckling hers. Her eyes flutter to a close as she takes this in; her surroundings, the flutter in her stomach, the goosebumps prickling along her skin. It's like a first love all over again except there's no pressure for it all to be perfect. Nick has seen her at one of the lowest points of her life. Olivia has been there for plenty of his.
His tongue grazes her lower lip and the moan she tries hard to suppress only causes her mouth to part. In an instant his tongue is sliding along hers and the thought of tasting the wine on her lips is no longer just a wish. This push and pull of their relationship- she feels it all swirling and tumbling inside of her as her body feels the effect of his lips against hers. His hand slides against the side of her neck, the tips of his fingers tangling in the root of her hair. He wants so badly to use his other hand to hook around her leg and pull her body down the sofa. To feel her body flush against his, her breasts straining through the material of his shirt she wore...
Nick pulled away from her with his forehead resting against hers. There's a moment of each other just exhaling, catching a breath to calm their aching bodies that roared with want. "I want this and my point- my point is that I'm willing to risk having to move to another unit. I want you to know that," his thumb skims along her cheek and he pecks the tip of her nose before pulling away from her to look her in the eyes.
"You think this has always been there?" He knows exactly what she's referencing; has this love been between them existed longer than the last four months? Nick has been married up until now since joining special victims, she was in a long term relationship with Brian, and she's expecting him to admit that he's felt anything for her before this?
"Do you?" he deflects and a smile grows across her face. His response is all the answers she needs and she feels like all the oxygen has been dispelled from her body. Her world spins and she's dizzy, drunk almost off of their admission to one another.
Then...
Nick got that call from her just like he had hoped. Zara was with Maria this week, and he was restless without his baby girl at home with him. He was at her place in under thirty.
He called when he was outside for her to let him in, and the moment she opened the door he saw the exhaustion etched across her face. It's not as if he was expecting any better, the woman had just fended for her life and a little girl. Nick wanted to hug her, let her cry and tell her he was here for her, and keep this all between them. But he knew Olivia wouldn't allow for that to happen. Proving she could handle it all on her own was her coping mechanism, but Nick was determined to change that.
"Thank you," Nick handed her a cup of hot tea as she sat on the sofa in a pair of sweats and a grey hoodie. She looked like she had showered and at least tried to get some ounce of sleep before calling him. He sat next to her silent, dressed in his plaid pajama pants and a hoodie of his own not sure what to say next. Does he make conversation and try to make things seem normal? Ask how she plans on dealing with this as she lives alone in this apartment?
"You don't have to be so weird around me," she rasps.
"I'm sorry-"
"If I hear that word one more time..." her eyes slam shut and she exhales before taking a sip of her tea. Her body aches, especially her back and her wrists from being anchored to the table in the warehouse. Her heads still pounding from the blow she took for talking back to him. "Everyone feels sorry for me. I mean how can they not? It's happened to me twice now, right?" she lets out a bitter laugh and feels the tears begin to sting the brim of her eyes.
"What can I do for you? How can I help?"
"You're helping me right now by just being here."
Now...
"Oliviaaaaaaa!" The flashbacks of that first night home are muted when she feels the arms of Zara wrap around her legs. The little one brings her right back down to solid ground and she doesn't even realize how much she keeps Olivia going each day.
"My beautiful girl," she bends down in front of the bathroom sink she stood in front of and lifts her into her arms. "Are you excited for your game today?" Zara is still in her pajamas with her hair still in disarray all over her head. Olivia almost laughs because they've got to leave in less than thirty minutes, and the star of their Saturday morning isn't even close to dressed.
"Yes! Daddy says if we win today that we can go get pizza. Will you come with us?" her hands twirl around a lock of Olivia's hair. She knows exactly how to play her.
"Only if it's pepperoni," she adds knowing it's her favorite. "How about two braids today?" she plopped Zara on the counter and sprayed her hair with a few products and began brushing her waves.
"And bows on the end!" She squeals and it makes Olivia smile from ear to ear. Zara wasn't even her child but she would do anything to make this child happy, even if it meant just putting bows at the ends of her braids.
"Do I get a bow too?" Nick appeared leaning against the door frame holding a cup of steaming coffee.
"You don't have any hair daddy!" Zara giggled as she looked in the mirror at her daddy.
"See, I could put one right here," he grabbed the longer part of his hair at the top looking up at it, which reminded him he was in need of a haircut.
"You're so silly!"
"He is silly," Olivia looked up at him grinning. She turned to reach for the mug he held and sighed when he stepped back a little.
"Who says this is for you?" He plays coy with her and keeps the mug out of her hands.
"The lack of cream and sugar," she smirks with an eyebrow raised knowing all too well how he prefers his caffeine. He hands it over accepting defeat and steals a kiss before she's able to resume working on his daughter's hair. He sees the flick of panic on her face at the public display in front of his daughter, but Zara's too busy getting into her bows to even notice.
"Relax," she feels his hand on the side of her waist and he grips the fabric of the t-shirt she wore, exposing the smallest sliver of skin. He stands close behind her and watches her take each piece of his daughter's hair, weaving piece by piece over and under each other until it forms the perfect braid. Nick hadn't ever asked Olivia to help with Zara at all, she kind of just did it on her own. She admitted that Zara gave her purpose, and reminded her that life was worth living when there were beautiful souls like hers still out there. So he didn't bother to step in in moments like this, instead he observed and remained grateful for Olivia's help.
"I'm gonna grab her uniform and pack her cleats and stuff," Nick speaks quietly into her ears and places a kiss to her temple before bending over and placing one to Zara's head. This all feels organic and she suddenly can see every Saturday morning like this. Whether that be a soccer game, or a dance recital she wants the idea of a family to fill her life.
Maria is Zara's mother and soon she'll have to go back to California to be with her. Olivia doesn't even want to think about how quiet this house will be without her. Nick wears his heart on his sleeve when it comes to his little girl, he's not going to handle her being 3,000 miles away well. She's not a parent, she doesn't think she'll ever get to know what that feels like. It doesn't make her as sad anymore though. After years and years of trying to become a mom and being denied so many times, the blow of her reality that included spending the rest of her life alone became less harsh. The thought of being a mother hadn't crossed her mind in so long, but now she wonders if this is her second chance. Just being there for Zara and maybe rediscovering love with Nick.
Maria is coming to get Zara, you think she'll pick up on the changes between Olivia and Nick? Also I heard reviews are a great mood boosters for those in quarantine xx