Before
When it happens, you don't believe there's a problem, not at first. It creeps up on you in this silent hover, and when you finally turn and see it it's too late. It has you in it's choking grasp-and it's never letting go anytime soon.
At fifteen I was 5'4 and weighed 158 lbs for my small frame. I felt absolutely disgusted with my body. As a child I was always chubby, but as I grew up I started to become extremely subconscious about it. The embarrassment started when I had reached high school. Girls are always judged on appearances, and it bothers us more than guys at times. That's why we resort to makeup and dieting and all these things to fit society's ideal depiction of us. The first instance was three months into my freshman year. I was still getting to learn about my new friends in this entirely different circle I latched onto. I felt accepted for the first time in years! Until one instance came up.
At lunch on a particularly sunny afternoon at school it amazed me how quickly a good day could turn into a bad one. My friends and I sat at bench area under the shade of trees looming overhead. There was a soft breeze blowing small wisps of my hair into my face. I tucked my hair behind my ear and tuned into the conversation.
"I hope I get asked to prom next year!" Savannah smiled with excited brown eyes. "Can you imagine it? A hot Jr. asking me to prom when I'm a sophomore?"
I smiled back. "That'd be cool." Though it was wishful thinking for a couple of overzealous freshmen girls.
"Oh gosh I would love that!" Ashley, a redheaded girl from my fifth period added.
"I need to go on a diet though," Savannah admitted. "I'm a little overweight. I want to slim down in time for prom. Come to think of it, I wonder how many calories this pizza has." She glanced down at her lunch tray uneasily.
I stared at that girl, convinced she was insane. Savannah had a perfect hour-glass figure. How in the world could she think she was overweight? I was overweight. Savannah didn't even come close to the amount of pounds I knew I needed to shed.
Bethany, a slim girl with a platinum blonde pixie cut, tanned skin, and a dark freckle by her left eye was giving Savannah an incredulous look. "You're kidding, right?"
"I'm serious!" Savannah seemed surprised Bethany would even think she was joking. "Don't you want to know what you're eating?"
"No," Bethany snorted. "Whatever, you call them calories. I call them bits of happiness!" Bethany took a large bite from her slice of pizza. The longer I looked at it, the more greasy I realized it was.
Bethany, although I hadn't known her long, was no princess when it came to food. That girl would eat anything anyone offered to her, yet here she sat- as petite and graceful as a pixie. It was no wonder she chose that haircut. It suited her well.
"How do you stay that skinny when you eat like that?" There was a pang of envy in Ashley's voice.
Bethany shrugged while she chewed. "Doctor says it's a fast metabolism. I'm trying to enjoy it while it lasts. They say as you get older your metabolism slows down."
My stomach began to sink at the thought of how slow my metabolism must have been. While Ashley and Savannah engaged into more trivial conversation, I stared down at my food- fending off the urge to cry. I wanted to be anywhere but here. If these girls thought they were overweight, what must they have thought when they looked at me? I felt like a pig surrounded by doves. I could never compare.
"Avery, you okay?" Bethany nudged me gently.
"Yeah, I'm okay." I mumbled.
Bethany didn't press me further.
I came home from school in a heap of tears. I burst through the door of my empty house. Being a single parent, my mom worked as many hours as she could. Most of the time, my mother wasn't home until late at night. I was lucky if she was even home for dinner.
With a hot face and erratic sobs spewing from my mouth I threw my backpack down by my bed and slammed my bedroom door shut. I hurried to the bathroom and clutched the edges of the sink for support.
"S-Stop c-crying." I ordered my reflection in the mirror.
Salty tears ran from my now puffy eyes and rolled down my face. I calmed by breathing until my tears ran silent. "Get it together, Fat Ass."
I turned on the water and cupped my hands beneath the stream. Closing my eyes I leaned down over the sink and washed my face. I patted myself dry with a towel then walked back out to my room. This time I gazed into the full-length mirror in the corner by my bed. I took off my shirt, shoes, jeans, and scrutinized my figure in the mirror. I picked up the flab of my stomach and squished it together. Then I began to study the size of my thighs. As each second passed by I felt more and more sick of myself. My eyes began to water, and I struggled to keep a steady breath. I put my clothes back on and picked up my phone from my bed. I scrolled through my contacts and pressed the name as soon as I spotted it. The phone began to ring.
"Avery?" A child-like voice answered.
"Hey... Bethany... I need your help. Can you come over?"
"Of course. What's your address?"
I told Bethany and waited for a response.
"Avery, are you okay?"
"Just get here as soon as you can." I hung up.
Twenty minutes later I heard the doorbell ring. I stood up from my bed and walked to the front door, fidgeting as I opened it.
Bethany's face was worn with worry. "Are you okay?"
"No... Come in." I held the door opened wider.
Bethany came inside and I led us to the living room couch. "I need your help."
Bethany sat down with me. "With what, Ave?"
My voice broke. "I don't want to look like this anymore."
"Oh Aves," Bethany held me as the tears came pouring out all over again.
"I-I didn't know who else to ask."
Bethany rubbed my back like a mother would to soothe a child. "It's okay. I'm happy you asked me. I'll do everything I can. Give it time. We'll figure it out."
I pulled away. "You'll help me lose this weight?"
"Of course. My step-sister is a health nut! I may have a fast metabolism, but her influence on our meals plays a big role in my family's health. We'll get you all set up, Aves. Give it a few months and you'll look better than any of those conceited girls at our table."
I stared at Bethany with so much hope and admiration. "Thank you... I don't know what else to say..."
"Don't thank me yet. We have a lot of work ahead of us."
I frowned. "Yeah... and you said months..."
Bethany squeezed my hand. "I know. I wish this process was easier, but it's not. It's going to take time, but with the right amount of exercise and a fresh new diet we'll get you exactly where you want to be. Can you trust me on that?"
I nodded. "I trust you."
Bethany beamed. "Good, because I have faith in you." She gave me a hug.
And this was the promise of a beautiful friendship. Even more so, hope for a brighter future. But both promises and hope have their flaws. Promises aren't always kept. People don't understand the promises they make. Hope can be lost like so many other things in this world- but it isn't something you can simply recover in a Lost & Found box. No, it was much more complicated than that. You come to learn in life that an innocent start quite quickly turns into a tragic end.
A/N:
Ayyeeeee! :D So I have a basic plot outline for this story, but as I've said in my announcements I'm still working out a few plot holes. This first chapter is short I know, and I don't really like having it this short but I feel like since I'm aiming for another short story with a big impact like Emily's Suicide, that this is a good way to end the first chapter. But hey, you get a glimpse of some of the characters and there shall be more to come :) As requested, there will be appearances by some characters from ES that you all know and love :P Yes, this Avery is Scott and Audrey's daughter ;P Fasten your seat belts, this is gonna be a feels trip B)
Also, updates shall be twice a week. Hopefully I can do more after finals week which is next week. After finals week I have winter break for two weeks! :D Much more time to focus on this next book! Do share with me your thoughts in the comments. I love reading them! If you think this book deserves it, be sure to vote and spread the word :) Love you guys! Stay strong! ~Mickey