The beep and following sound of the mechanical arms opening barely distracted me from the hunt for my earphones as I headed out into the lobby. The sound of heels clicking on the fancy tiled floor did, however, make me look up considering they weren't coming from my own boots.
"Giovanni?"
My steps faltered as the tall Italian man came to a stop in front of me, a bright yet refined smile on his lips and I glanced around, it was almost half-past nine, what was he doing here?
"Good evening amore." Giovanni pressed his lips to my cheek and I blinked, the pet name rolling off his tongue in Italian easily but it just made my stomach churn, it always had.
But at least he'd stopped calling me mio fiore.
That had almost sent me spiralling the moment it had left his lips just after Christmas the first year I was here in New York.
"What are you doing here?" I asked as I gave up the hunt for my air pods, I knew they had to be in there somewhere. I'd had them this morning.
"Came to pick you up." Giovanni said easily, "I feel like we've barely seen each other. You've been so busy since last Saturday."
"Yeah I've been at work a lot."
The word sorry barely left my mouth these days. I'd worked hard on not apologising for merely existing, of course I used it when I had to and I definitely meant it when I did use it. It was something I had Harry to thank for.
I blinked as the thought of the green eyed brunette I'd spent almost two years trying to forget suddenly popped up in my brain and I grabbed Giovanni's hand making him look at me curiously and I lent up to press our lips together.
It wasn't a habit I was proud of. But it had been working.
"We better get home then hadn't we amore."
I simply hummed as Giovanni guided me out of the tall building and to his waiting car on the curb and I smiled at his driver. My eyes preferred the view out the window compared to the man next to me and I sighed.
It had been a coping mechanism. It still was, and I was coping.
Or at least I had been coping up until last week. I knew I shouldn't have just rung Eleanor like that, I should have texted her my congratulations and then arranged a time to FaceTime. Now it was like all my hard work had been undone.
All because of those five seconds where Harry and I were looking at each other.
It was stupid and I knew it, but it had hurt enough to make me cry myself to sleep after Lindsee and I were finished with Harry Potter and sushi, it was enough to make me think about him for the following days.
It was enough to make me look at Giovanni with nothing but friendly complacency in my eyes.
The two of us sat in silence as I watched the city disappear and the car plunge into darkness as his driver, Calvin, parked underneath Giovanni's building and opened my door for me.
"Thank you." I said quietly, politely as Giovanni gave him a handful of cash and thanked him for his service during the day before he guided me towards the lift and the two of us rode up to his apartment in silence.
"Are you working tomorrow?" Giovanni asked as he unlocked the front door and I nodded.
"Posies until one, class at one thirty and then I'll be at the office." I said as I left my bags just by the door and pulled my shoes off, immediately missing the extra height my boots gave me.
"I see. Drink?"
"Just water please." I smiled as Giovanni nodded and I wandered further into his apartment, I guess one of the perks of knowing him was getting to be in his Upper East Side apartment.
Which meant I got to pretend I was Blair Waldorf, and we all knew how I felt about her.
"Amore."
I looked away from the window as Giovanni spoke and I smiled gratefully for the bottle of water and uncapped it easily before taking several gulps.
"Have you eaten?" Giovanni asked and I nodded.
"Yeah, ate at the office." I lied receiving a nod in return.
"I have a lot of meetings tomorrow. I'll be upstairs." Giovanni pressed a kiss to my cheek and I smiled before I returned my eyes to the window, NYC was pretty at night.
I mean, light pollution wasn't great, but it did make a nice view.
I put the bottle down on a coffee table gently, I had no idea why he bought water bottled in glass but whatever, it tasted nice.
I headed up the stairs, aware of the sound of water running as I neared Giovanni's bedroom and I sighed. My eyes found the pair of pyjamas monogrammed with my initials laid out on the bed and I snatched them up easily.
I brushed my teeth quickly and easily before I stripped and got changed, I had to admit I wasn't a big pyjama set fan but these were pink and silk and I felt like a sexy lizard in them.
Or at least as sexy as a lizard could get.
The light was switched out the moment I slipped into Giovanni's bed and I felt it dip as he rolled over closer to me and my head was nudged towards his and our lips met. I knew this was the only reason he wanted me to come over.
I also knew he didn't like the fact I wouldn't commit past us having sex every now and again, no matter how hard he tried.
I smiled as Giovanni hovered over me, his eyes flicking across my face as I looked up at him, I knew how this was going to go. It was the same every single time.
Giovanni was the definition of Mr 9pm.
Long fingers pushed off my pyjama shorts as I pressed my lips to his lips, dipping down along his jaw ever so slightly before he moaned and our lips met once more and I flinched as his finger dipped between my legs.
I swallowed as a finger was pushed into me and I arched a leg to make it slightly more comfortable for myself but I just didn't know what it was, Giovanni and I never really found our rhythm.
All pressure was gone suddenly, including the thirty year old man above me and then I heard the drawer next to his bed opening, as it did every night we had sex because that was the only time we had sex.
The sound of foil ripping filled the room and then Giovanni was back and I faked a hum as he smiled at me before he pushed inside a low groan falling from his lips and I copied him.
I kept my eyes pointed out the window at the view as Giovanni rocked above me, the moans falling out of my mouth at points I thought they were appropriate.
It wasn't that Giovanni was bad at sex, I just didn't like it.
I didn't like the way the only way he'd have sex was in missionary or me on top if he was "tired", I didn't like the way he always had to make eye contact with me, or the fact he only ever said my name.
Not that I wanted or let him call me anything else.
I couldn't even pick what part I hated the most, he always wore a condom which was weird but that was my probably my fault because I'd practically demanded it the first time we actually had sex.
It was stupid but it was Harry's thing to...not wear one.
I swallowed as I felt Giovanni's thrusts get slower and I knew it was almost over, the other thing was the fact it lasted fifteen minutes, at best.
I arched my back as I let my lids droop and I put on my best show of having my own orgasm, he never knew the difference.
I smiled as Giovanni pressed a kiss to my cheek before rolling off me and disappearing back into the bathroom and I busied myself with pulling my shorts back on.
I rolled over just as the bed dipped and I sighed quietly, I'd been fine. I'd had sex multiple times with Giovanni since living in New York, in fact I'd gone to Italy with him with his brother a few times, it was fine, I was happy.
But now, now I felt like I did when I first moved here. When it felt like I had a giant gaping wound in my chest and I was sure everyone could tell just how miserable I really was.
I didn't know how much time passed as I laid there awake but I knew Giovanni was asleep, I didn't really know how I knew but I just did. He didn't snore and at the first that was nice. A nice uninterrupted sleep.
But now I missed the snoring.
I sucked my teeth as I pulled myself out of bed and quickly changed back into my clothes, hopefully my jacket would keep me warm.
The weather was warming up considering it was May but the evenings were still a bit chilly and I had to admit considering I was leaving NY next month I was going to miss the summer here.
I'd never known that New York was actually hot in the summer.
But it was, I remember last year Lindsee and I practically dying in the heat, the concrete in the city seemed to hold onto it and blast it back up at you at least twice as hot.
But just as hot as it was in the summer, it was cold during the winter.
I didn't mind the winter, especially considering it snowed here which was very rare back home but I was definitely more of a summer girl. Hence why last summer I had planned very carefully and split my time off up.
I'd spent some here in the city, I'd gone home with Lindsee to Colorado which was fun, and then the two of us went to Italy with Giovanni and his brother.
Who was I pretty sure Lindsee had hooked up with. Good for her.
I didn't bother to leave a note, Giovanni would understand as I slipped out of his apartment and out onto the dark Manhattan street. I weighed up my options as I stood there, I wanted to be alone but there was no way I was going to walk home.
That would take almost two hours, I suppose I could get the subway but that was still forty minutes at this time of night; but if I got an Uber that meant I'd probably have to talk to the driver.
Unless I specifically requested not to be spoken to but that was rude.
I rolled my eyes at myself and requested a car, I could put up with talking to someone a couple of times if it meant I got home in twenty minutes rather than an hour.
I plugged my ears with my AirPods and smiled politely at the driver as I slid in, my bags falling onto the empty seat next to me, either it was because I had my headphones in or I just lucked out and had someone who didn't want to speak either.
I wandered slowly from the front of my building back down towards a corner shop. I smiled and raised my hand in a static wave as I saw Roddy behind the till.
Roddy was the owner and was very quick to welcome us to the neighbourhood when Lindsee and I first moved in and since then he's put up with us and our random two am cravings which usually saw us in his shop.
I grabbed a can of red bull and a bag of sour patch kids before I headed out and back towards home, my key slipping into the lock easily and I caught the time on wall as I tried to close the door quietly behind me.
"P?"
I looked up just as I cracked open the can to find Lindsee standing in the doorway to her room looking at me curiously in the dark and I nodded.
"Yeah, it's me."
"I thought you were staying at Giovanni's?" Lindsee asked as she pulled a face and I laughed a bit, shrugging.
"Wanted to come home." I dropped my bags on the sofa knowing full well I needed them tomorrow considering my boss was going to court on Thursday which meant heaps of work for us.
"Understandable."
I laughed as I sipped my drink before heading towards my room, too lazy to brush my teeth or take my make up off and besides it wasn't even midnight so I knew I was going to be awake for a little while longer.
I changed into a pair of leggings and a jumper from uni, which admittedly was very cosy and settled into bed, my eyes drifting out the window and I watched as the few cars passed by, I really was going to miss this city.
But it wasn't like I had anything from stopping me from moving here permanently.
"Okay best friend, what shall we watch?"
I jumped as my bedroom door suddenly opened and Lindsee appeared carrying her laptop and a variety of bagged items of food and I blinked at her.
"What?"
"What?" I repeated her as I watched her settled into my bed next to me with a pointed look on her face.
"You're sad. I can't have my best friend being sad."