sorry for the wait ! I got unmotivated n my mental health has been dipping again lately but I'm back ! I hope you enjoy this part n sorry if the ending kinda sucks, I struggled to end it well n became unmotivated on this part so I hope this will suffice for you all :,)
Trigger Warnings: self harm mentions, depressive/self-derogatory thoughts, slight blood, lack of eating (?)
—————————————————————
Tobi's POV
We're almost at the flat, Harry is still sound asleep on Simon's back. I decided to speak up about somethings that have been on my mind to the rest of the boys whilst he's asleep.
"Hey guys, you know I think there's something really up with him lately. Like, when Harry gave us that little speech in the bathroom and after he smiled, I noticed that's the first time he's genuinely smiled around us in forever, hell that's the first time he's showed any pure emotion around us in ages as well." I turned to look at the boys to see their reaction, in which they all seemed to agree and JJ opened his mouth to speak but Vik cut him off. "I agree. I also noticed he's been avoiding us a lot more lately and whenever he has been around us, he's been very quiet. I hope we haven't done something wrong.." We all looked over to the small boy on Simon's back, we love him dearly but I'm not sure if he knows that anymore. "I hope he knows we love him" JJ said quietly, he seemed to read my mind. After a few minutes of silence we reached JJ and Simon's flat, Jide unlocked the door and let us all in. "Where should I lay him down ?" Simon asked, I just motioned to the couch as that would be the easiest option rather than going up the stairs. Simon carefully placed him on the couch and took his bag off him, placing it on the floor before returning to us in the kitchen area. Both their parents were quite wealthy so they had a really nice flat, their kitchen had a bar thing that we could see into the living room where Harry was. We all often stayed here for game nights or sleepovers as it had the most room and freedom, but Harry hasn't been to one of our regular ones in a few months. He said it was just cause he wanted to focus more on school but now I'm not so sure that's true. As we we're all now stood in the kitchen, we could finally freely talk about the situation at hand.
"So.. Harry." I started, looking around at the other boys. "Something up with him, I'm not sure how long you guys have noticed but I have done for awhile but I thought it was just me. What do you all think is going on with him ?" I leaned onto the counter, arms crossed, watching the 5 other guys. Simon just sighed "Well today when he said he's not worth all the quote unquote hassle," he motioned quotation marks with his hands, "really struck a chord with me, I dunno about you lot but if that's just one small thing he believes then I'm scared to know what else he thinks about himself." Oh yeah, he did say that today didn't he ? Fuck me man, hearing him say that made my heart pang then and still does now thinking about it again. Josh agreed, continuing with what Simon said. "He's the youngest, the most influential, when he wakes up we can talk to him whilst we bandage him up. You both have stuff to help fix his wounds up right ?" JJ pointed to a cupboard near Ethan, "We have plenty incase JJ gets into another fight, which is quite often" Simon chuckled, walking over and grabbing some FirstAid things from the cupboard. Now we just had to wait for the lad to wake up. To pass the time we decided to play some games in JJ's room which was just down the hall.
Harry's POV
I found myself running, running as fast as I could throughout the school halls. It was dark, why am I in the school when it's night ? Where have my wounds gone ? I stopped to check my body over when I heard footsteps coming from behind me, I quickly turned around to see someone I didn't expect. Jake ? Before I could react I was pushed to the floor for probably the 4th time today. He just stood above me sneering, "Looky here, it's JJ's most worthless friend ! Why does he keep you around, to pity your existence ? Once they leave the school, they'll forget about you, well you're not that hard to forget anyways. They're only taking pity on you now cause I beat the shit outta you." His foot flew towards my face–
I gasped, my body jolting upwards in shock from whatever that was. I started coughing from the lack of breath caused by that nightmare I just had. After I managed to calm myself down, my nose began to bleed pretty heavily. "F-Fuck–" I quickly got up and ran to the kitchen to get a paper towel to try and stop the bleeding. Every inch of my body suddenly flooded with pain, causing me to curse pretty loudly. "Shit-!" I hissed, desperately clinging to the counter, I tried to keep myself steady and to not fall over. As if life didn't hate me enough, JJ walked in and immediately tried to help. "Whoa- Harry man ! Are you okay ?" He rushed over, picking me up and placing me on the counter "Here, let me help you bro" JJ grabbed a hand towel from one of the drawers and placed it on my nose to stop the bleeding, I noticed my hoodie had blood all over it too, gosh I hope I didn't get any on the couch or floor.. I'd feel fucking awful if I did. He motioned for me to hold it and I did, ugh I hate nose bleeds. JJ gave me a small smile "I'm gonna go tell the boys that you're awake, I'll be like 2 minutes okay ? Stay there" I just nodded in reply, watching him leave the kitchen area to where the other boys were, which I presume is his room as that's where we would always go. God I haven't been to their flat in.. months. I stopped going out of fear they'd not want me there or I'd let something slip and they'd be mega concerned like they were today. What if they're faking their concern ? What if they truly don't care ..? My mind flashed back to the nightmare I had, the words Jake said still circling around in my head. They felt so... real. I mean they are kinda what I think of myself.. but that's not the point. Maybe both Jake's are right... I am just worthless to the rest of the boys...
Before my thoughts could get heavier, I heard footsteps. I turned my head to see the other 6 walk into the room, oh god what was I going to tell them ?? I never thought that far, what will they ask ? Or will they just mock me for being pathetic ? Probably the latter.. I deserve it thought after everythi-
"HARRY"
A loud voice snapped me from my thoughts, it was Ethan. I made some squeaking sound, jumping slightly at the sudden noise. "Ah– hey guys !" I tried to smile confidently but they weren't taking it. "Harry.." Ethan just sighed, everyone was just kinda.. staring at me ? What did they want ? "Uh.. is there a reason you're all huddled in the kitchen staring me down ?" My voice was hoarse and came out a lot quieter that I expected, god I sound like a scared puppy. "We just wanted to talk Bog, we've been really worried about you lately man" I gave Ethan a confused look, them ? Worried about me ?? This is new, let's see how this goes then. "Are you sure you're okay ..?" Is all I heard from Tobi before I started to panic again, what the fuck was I supposed to tell them ?? Do I tell them the truth ? My breath hitched as I struggled to get out a simple sentence. "D-Do you want h-honesty ?" I answered, stuffing my hands into my hoodie pockets to hide them, they were shaking a lot. I just looked across all the boys who gave me a nod in reply, "Of course we do Harry, it's the only way we can help." JJ was calm but it was still visibly evident he was worried about what I was going to tell them. I just took a deep breath and began. I hope this won't be too long..
"I-I'm scared you guys are going to forget about me.. well you uh.. sorta already have but that's not the point–! Anyways.. you remember what I said this morning ..? A-About not being worth it ? Yeah I'm not lying. I feel absolutely useless compared to you all, like I'm utterly worthless. You're all so smart or at least have a talent.. I don't. Then..." I swallowed the lump in my throat, his name alone makes me shudder. "J-Jake.. came along and drilled it more into my brain.. he kept telling me I was worthless and that he doesn't even know why JJ would hang around with someone like.. me." I'm trying so hard not to cry, why is this so hard ? "He uhm.. h-he also called me fat- am I that heavy ? Really ? I'd stopped eating properly awhile ago.. I thought that fixed it.. clearly not..." I heard some of them gasp and I saw Tobi open his mouth but I cut him off before he could say a word. "All this has been going on for ages.. before the Jake and Logan thing started. I stopped going out. I stopped coming to see you all cause I didn't thing you'd want me there or I'd be worth enough to be friends with you. I stopped sleeping, my thoughts are too loud and–" I paused for a few seconds, taking another deep breath and trying my best to calm myself down before I carry on. "I-I did somethings that... I-I really shouldn't h-have done.." I looked down, averting all of their gazes, instinctively my arms hugged themselves closer to my small body. I felt tears begin to form, each word causing them to threaten to fall from my eyes. "H-Harry- you didn't.. harm y-yourself did you ..?" Vik sounded confused but very worried at the same time. All I did was nod and I could hear them all collectively gasp from shock. I felt as if I spoke anymore, I'd completely break down on them. I couldn't look them in the eyes and I could just feel the tears building up now, they're threatening to spill any second now. Suddenly there were a pair of arms around me, then another, then another until all of the 6 Sidemen had me in a group hug.
Maybe... talking can help ?
Simon's POV
That absolutely shattered my heart.. and clearly I wasn't alone in this. He harmed himself ? And the other stuff too ? Oh Harry... the boy was truly in so much mental and physical pain and we clearly haven't helped at all. He started to sob, my instincts kicked in and I went straight in to comfort him by giving him a hug. I was soon after joined by the rest of the gang and we all had some kind of mushy group hug with the youngest in the middle, sobbing his little heart out. After he'd calmed down we all separated, the other boys leaving the kitchen area and left me with Harry so I started to clean up his wounds. Since JJ gets into a few fights every now and then, I have to attend to his cuts, bruises, etc as he doesn't really know how to do it himself but am I surprised ? No it's JJ after all. Anyways, I grabbed the First-Aid kit from the cupboard and took it over to where Harry was sat on the side, placing it next to him. Opening it up, the contents wasn't much but would be enough to help him heal. It included some gauze, plasters, bandages, non-alcoholic wipes and some other things I'm not sure the name of. I get to fixing him him up straight away, Harry looked scared but I gave him a reassuring smile and whispered "Don't worry man, it won't hurt too much and it'll help you in the long run."
~Time skip cause I'm too lazy to write all that~
After about an hour of little conversations to cheer him up, cleaning, bandaging and checking him over, I was done with all the major wounds on his body but there was one more thing I'd like to check. "Hey, Harry ? I'm mostly finished with everything but there's one more thing I'd like to look at to make sure they've not been infected or anything like that.." His face visibly paled, I think he knew what I was hinting at. "N-No they're fine..." Harry quietly answered, he wouldn't look me in the eyes and he was fidgeting with his sleeves. That's not very assuring at all. "Harry please... I know today has been a lot but you were really ruffed up, I don't want them to be opened up or possibly get infected cause you didn't pay attention to yourself despite you haven't been doing so anyways. So please.. let me take a look ..?" He sighed, "Okay... fine. B-But you promise to not make fun of them r-right ..?" His voice quivered, I could see his eyes were a mixture of pain and fear, oh the poor boy. "Why would I do that ? Haz I love you man, you're all of us' little brother. We want to protect you as much as possible and making fun of you would be the complete opposite of what you need right now. I'm here to help and support you, don't forget that." His eyes widened for probably the 6th time today but he just looked away and offered his arms. I gentility pulled the fabric of his hoodie upwards, trying my best not to hurt him and I knew what I was expecting but it was still startling nonetheless.
//
I gasped. Several cuts lined up his forearms, some had scarred over but some were now bleeding most likely due to the earlier situation. I grabbed some cotton buds and cleaned them up, Harry wincing at every small movement and touch that was made. Carefully, I bandaged each arm so that they could heal, "You'll need to change these every few days until they're healed enough, come get me and I'll do it for you." I smiled, making sure he understood. He nodded, returning the smile before it dropped, it looked like he had remembered something ? "S-Sorry Simon.. but that's not all of them.." He briefly motioned to his thighs, oh Harold.. "I-I don't want to make more work for you so I can do it myself—" I just hushed him by giving him a hug. "Harry I'm here to help you, same as the other boys. You're not making work for me man, don't worry," Unwrapping my arms from him, I grabbed more cotton buds from the side. "Now can I ..? Or would you ..?" I motioned for him to pull his jeans off, making sure I don't make him too uncomfortable. At first Harry hesitated but then after about a minute he slowly pulled them so far down, revealing his thighs. Again, he looked away and hid his face in his hoodie as I cleaned up his many cuts (which seemed to be more than his arms). I had to lift his leg up onto my knee to get the bandage round but I managed. I pulled up his jeans again and cleaned the first aid things away.
//
"Does that feel better and easier on them ?" I asked, making sure he was comfortable. "Y-Yeah that feels much better, thank you Simon" Harry gave a small but genuine smile, it was nice to see him smiling again as he hadn't really done that for a long while and all of us started to notice but I feel like we're slowly but surely getting little Haroldinio back after so long. I noticed he was trying to get off the counter so I carefully lifted him up and off the counter to help. For a 15 year old boy, he is quite small, especially compared to the rest of us.. well except Vik as he's always been small but even Vik is taller than Harry as of now. He just uttered a small thank you in response, I looked down to him, "God you're so tiny aren't you ?" I giggled but he just crossed his arms and huffed, pretending to be annoyed, "Wh-What ?? No I'm not ! I just haven't finished puberty yet !!" I laughed, pointing to upstairs. "Riiigghhtt okay. C'mon Dinio we should probably go upstairs with the others now that we've got you cleaned up. The others are either playing games or watching Netflix so we can go join them." We both walked up the stairs, I could hear JJ already and I was like 10 feet away, I opened the gaming room door to JJ attacking Ethan with a pillow whilst Tobi, Vik and Josh played on the Xbox. Both Harry and I began laughing at the sight before us, utterly confused. "JJ– Stop man— I only wON ONE GAME CALM DOWN–!" Ethan shrieked at him, but JJ just responded by smothering him with the pillow. "You cheated you PRICK-!" He quickly got flung off by Ethan and onto the floor. "Jesus Christ guys, you can't go without fighting each other for like 20 minutes." Harry giggled. That's the first time I've heard him genuinely giggle in ages. It was... nice to hear that again, refreshing even. We both sat down with the other boys, watching them create havoc on a game whilst also pissing each other off. Even Harry had a few go's to everyone's surprise, but it was nice to see him laughing and smiling again compared to the plastic expressions he's given us for months.
Glad to be slowly getting our Harry back. He deserves a break and that's what we're going to give him, I'll make sure we never forget about him again. He doesn't deserve to be treated like that, nobody does.
Nobody's POV
The seven teenage boys were sat messing about for hours, enjoying their stupid antics and also each others company. Especially Harry's, they were oh so glad to have their little ball of sunshine back. Harry felt included again, he felt loved, he felt at home and at peace. Maybe he was just in an unfortunate time ? Who knows. But one thing Harry does know is that it's hopefully only going to be up from here.
———