It was true that New York City was the city that never sleeps. Because after almost a month and half here, I finally noticed the pattern that anything fun that I did happened at night, wether it was going to a club, dinner, or an actual organized party.
But whatever it was, for me each time I ventured out in the night it ended up with me waking up in the morning with a churning stomach and a desire to do anything but try and make sense of what had happened. And especially after Saturday night's party, I was eager to throw myself back into work.
But of course, as hard as I tried, my thoughts kept slipping back to it, the night that could potentially end up as one of the longest of my life.
Every time I was stacking papers and organizing files by meeting, I was thinking about Jake. How he looked at me that night. How he paraded around with me like I was a trophy he won. How his surface cracked when he finally saw Skylar.
And every time I was scheduling appointments and directing the structure for conference calls, I would start to wonder about Blake's drunk words. His sober thoughts. His desire to talk to me again, but his pride that kept him so far away.
And the hardest part of all, when I was listening in on Zane's meeting and taking notes for his clients and business partners, my eyes would blur as I drifted off into the final part of the night, when my senses were ablaze by Blake's touch. For the first time in a long time he had finally let me in again. And I messed it all up and left.
I was thankful that Gretchen pulled me aside halfway through the day to check on me.
"Your eyes are glassy," she noticed. "Are you sick?"
I shook my head. "Just stuck in stupid thought land with singing unicorns and deadly Cupid."
Gretchen smiled. "I knew I had lost you at that party."
"I'm sorry," I said. "I had no idea Jake was going to completely tower over me like that and if I did I wouldn't have invited him because you had been so nice to invite me and I ditched you and—"
"Hey," she laid a hand on my shoulder. "Slow down, girly. You're good. We're good. In fact, you're not the only one to be a little distracted because of the party."
I listed my head. "What happened?"
She frowned. "Well, I texted you that Josh took me home. But, that wasn't everything. When we got there, we were both sober, and I thanked him for driving me, but he insisted on making sure I got up to my apartment safely."
"Oh god, Gretchen, he didn't try anything, did he?"
"What?" She said. "No. Nothing like that. He, uh, he just kinda cornered me. Put me on the spotlight. Confessed his feelings for me and expected to either leave with a girlfriend or never talk to me again."
My eyes widened. "What did you say?"
She buried her head in her hands. "The most immature thing. I pretended to be drunk and asked if we could just talk about in the morning. Because I knew my answer would crush him."
"You don't like him," I frowned.
"Not at all," she mumbled. "And Josh has been such a close friend. But I've never and will never see him as anything more."
I hated that Josh put her in such a position. I knew he liked her, but I didn't know that he was that desperate to either pin her in a relationship or give up. If only he had told me that was his plan, I could have helped clean up this whole mess before it was made.
"So did you talk to him Sunday?"
She fiddled with the stapler on her desk. "No. I avoided his calls."
This time it was I who comforted her and laid a hand on her shoulder. "You're going to have to tell him. And my advice? From personal experience? It's better to let them down now rather than string it along and make everything that much worse when the kettle eventually boils over."
She took a deep breath. "Yeah. You're right. It's just so hard. I want to just procrastinate it."
I nodded, completely understanding. Her dilemma with Josh reminded me so much of Graham that it was impossible not to feel like I was back in that same position.
"Hey!"
We both turned, stunned by the loud voice.
It was Ember. She was standing in the doorway of her office and by the crease of her forehead she looked ticked.
"Why aren't you two working?" She demanded. "By gossiping here instead of the salon you're wasting all of our valuable time. Gretchen, I needed the Anderson file three minutes ago.
Gretchen looked torn between fighting back and just giving in to Ember's tyranny.
Go get it yourself, you selfish gold-digger, is what I wanted to say.
But of course, I couldn't say that aloud.
Unlike Gretchen, my job here was temporary with no backup. If I even wanted to use any of them as a reference for my next job when I went home, I knew retaliating against Ember, even for something as small as this, would get me nowhere. And it would even set me back.
I deflated and scooted away from Gretchen, resigned to return to work.
She, however, looked fired up as she reluctantly handed Ember the file.
"Being lazy is better than being you," she snapped to Ember. Her emotions and feelings were on high alert because of Josh. "Don't take me for granted. Plenty of people know I could do much better."
Ember narrowed her eyes. "I made you, Gretchen. You learned from the best. And nobody who says that you deserve better will deny that you could get any better without me."
"Woah," I interrupted, shocked by her harsh words. "Ember, you need to back down before—"
"Before I what?" She scoffed. "Stay out of this, Baker. Don't tell me what to do. Don't put yourself in this conversation. Just because you're the first bitch to walk around with her legs crossed doesn't mean you suddenly have anyone's respect around here."
I froze.
It had been a long time since I had been yelled at in such a way.
Gretchen stood protectively by my side. "Ember, what the hell? What's gotten into you? This isn't high school!"
She shook her head. "No you're right. It's the real world where we don't—"
The door to Zane's office swung open, cutting off whatever insult Ember had cooked up next. And thank God it had. I don't know if Gretchen or I could bite down any harder on our tongues for the sake of our jobs.
Zane looked around at the three of us. We were a sight, three girls in sky high stilettos and suits all breathing heavier than normal from the adrenaline of our almost cat-fight.
He narrowed his eyes, displeased. "I don't even want to know."
Ember opened her mouth, but Zane held up his hand. "Whatever you're going to say, I don't care. I'm shocked that you over anyone else would stoop down to such a level. Anderson will be here in an hour, and I think that you'd be a little more focused on that rather than your latest ego match."
She frowned, but said nothing. She turned and retreated back into her office like the whole incident was simply a conversation in passing.
I watched her shut the door, barely keeping it from slamming.
Wow. If there was anyone that could take someone like Ember down a peg, it was truly a man who didn't give a shit about anything that didn't earn him a pretty penny.
I thought Gretchen and I were next to be scolded.
"Alexa?" He turned to me.
I bit my lip. "Yeah?"
"We discussed the campaign shoot a couple weeks ago," he said, referring to the botched advertisement that I had recommended Skylar for. "They are getting ready to shoot it via green screen downstairs. I'd like for you to supervise it."
My mouth dropped slightly, shocked. "Really? I would love to!"
I had completely forgotten about that project, but I was not about to turn down an excuse to leave the uncomfortable situation in exchange to hang out with Skylar.
He waved his hand, dismissing me. "Yes, yes, just remember that I want to spend the least amount of money to achieve the maximum result."
"Noted."
I happily collected my stuff and walked over to the elevator. As I walked in, and the door was closing, I realized last minute that I had just abandoned my partner in that fiasco.
Guilty, I glanced back at Gretchen to see if Zane was giving her any grief. But, to my surprise, they were sharing a look. And for a brief second, I wondered if Zane defended Gretchen because he actually cared rather than the time they were wasting.
But the door closed, and I pushed that thought to the back of my mind.
My foot was tapping anxiously all the way to the forty-fifth floor. And when the door finally did open, a dazzled smile broke across my face.
Of all ninety-something floors Zane had in his building, there was no doubt in my mind that we were on the most fun. Instead of a maze of cubicles and break rooms, the floor was completely open and completely unpatterned. From corner to corner, dressing rooms, studio lights, and production technology peppered the massive space.
But lucky for me, there was only one photo shoot going on today. No other chaos to distract me. And it took me little effort to make my way around and finally see Skylar getting ready for the photo shoot, looking just as perfect as I had convinced Zane she would be.
Pleased with having an original idea was an understatement. I was ecstatic.
I began to rush forward, eager to surprise her. But that's when a curtain from an adjacent dressing room was yanked back, and a new girl stepped out from her dressing room and began chatting animatedly with Skylar. It was clear these were the two models.
And her red hair was impossible to ignore.
Un-freaking-believable.
In the office my mind was consumed by the misbehaving men in my life. Outside of it, I was once again halted by the one woman with just as much power as me.
As much as I loved Skylar, I was no where close to thrilled to see Gracelyn looking just as ready for the photo shoot. She was funny, easy-going, and absolutely gorgeous, so I knew I shouldn't be surprised to see her pulled into the new photo shoot as well.
But seeing her there pulled me right back to having to watch her dangle lovingly from Blake's arm Saturday night.
And the image was killing me.
"Alexa! Is that you?"
I plastered on the most convincing smile I could. "Skylar! I'm so glad you're here," I gushed.
She wrapped me up tightly. "Oh em gee, it is you," she beamed. "I can't believe it. What are you doing here?"
Another squeal cut me off before I could answer. "Is that Baker?"
Skylar clapped her hands excitedly as Gracelyn rushed over to embrace me as well.
"Hi, Gracelyn," I chuckled nervously.
Her eyes gleamed with curiosity. "Girly, the devil works hard, but you work harder. I'm shocked that outside of penthouses and galas, this is where I'd find you next."
I gestured to the building. "Ah well, I, uh, work here. As Za—Mr. Charlemagne's PA."
"Physician's assistant?" Gracelyn questioned.
I frowned. "Um, no. Executive personal assistant. He actually put me in charge of this project specifically, so I'm here to supervise."
"Oh! That's amazing," Skylar exclaimed. "You've actually come here at a perfect time. Gracelyn was filling me on your exciting weekend at the gala." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
Exciting was not the word I would use to describe.
Gracelyn seemed to sense my hesitancy. "Oh, yes!" She agreed. "The venue was incredible, and I made some amazing business connections. I even bid a little and won myself a Taylor Swift signed guitar."
Oh. A tense night that bled into the morning and that was what she took away?
It was clear Gracelyn had no idea about my night with Blake. And she had neglected to tell her best friend about who I had originally gone to the gala with.
But Gracelyn wasn't very bright. Maybe she just hadn't gone around to it yet.
"Wasn't the gala a couple's thing?" Skylar asked, interrupting her story. "Who'd you go with, Grace?"
She smiled dreamily, causing my stomach to churn with jealousy. "Blake Baron," she giggled. "I was with him the whole night. N' he was a perfect gentleman, always checkin' on me and givin' me little compliments."
Skylar raised an eyebrow. "Blake's one of the baddest CEO's, Gracie. Anyone who's ever dipped their hand in the pond knows that. Are you telling me he's changing for you?"
She shrugged, not making eye contact with me but also still managing to see the hints of shock on my face. "I have plans, Sky. And y'know, he's becoming somebody that would stay with me for the long haul."
Skylar smiled, oblivious. "Well, I'm happy for you," she said warmly. "Alexa, what about you?"
My stomach was sick. "I, uh, will tell you about it later. Actually right now, I need to speak with the director. Find out what the hold up is," I slurred and tried to walk away as quickly as possible before allowing my solemn mask to completely crumble.
Gracelyn wasn't as dumb as I believed. Her lies were just as methodical as mine.
But I think the most upsetting part was that even I couldn't tell which part was the lie and which was truth.
When I got to the director, he was unimpressed with my presence until I told him that I represented Zane. That got his attention way more than any topless model could.
But I wasn't there to tell him how to run his photo shoot. There was only one specific detail burning in my mind.
"I seem to remember the payroll including only one model for the photo shoot, to replace Robyn," I began, "and that's Skylar Hatch. But by the looks of everything here, and the checks our boss is signing, you've hired Gracelyn Sparks as well."
He was at a loss. Clearly, he hadn't expected anyone from the executives to actually pay much mind to a routine promo. "Gracelyn is a rising star. Having her and Skylar together will be huge!"
I shook my head. "That wasn't the order. Skylar for Robyn. That way nothing else has to be redone, nothing else needs to be paid for."
"But my vision can only be achieved with Skylar and Gracelyn," he protested. "And we are minutes away from shooting!"
I narrowed my eyes. "Skylar is the face of New York. She revolves around the advertisements of Times Square. We're lucky to have her."
He threw his hands up in the air. "We're blessed to have Gracelyn, too!"
"Well unless her salary is coming out of your pocket then I suggest you count your blessings more carefully," I warned. "She's off the project, or I'll find a different director."
He paled.
Let's see whose vision is brought to life now.
And sure enough, as I walked away and found myself a chair to watch the shoot from a distance, the director sent his assistant Gracelyn's way. And after a couple minutes of confusion and arguing, she stormed off.
Skylar walked over, baffled. "Did you see that?"
I nodded, pretending to be just as concerned. "All I asked was what we were waiting on to begin," I said, "apparently that was it."
She shook her head. "I've never seen Gracie so mad."
"It's a wonder the reason."
The director called over for Skylar, avoiding my gaze in fear. She didn't notice, though, and she waved goodbye.
I sat back and watched her begin her work. She made it look so easy, posing for the cameras and soaking in the light.
I contemplated my own actions as I watched her work. What I had done was impulsive and envy-driven to do, but I felt as though I could justify both. One was that I wasn't lying when I said that Zane only wanted one model for the project. And two was that Gracelyn had lied about Blake to get under my skin. If that wasn't a declaration of war then I didn't know what was.
Though that still didn't answer the question of why I was bothered to begin with. I had come with Jake. I had spent the night with Jake. And I had almost left with Jake. He was offering me attention and desire, and yet I dropped everything just to make sure Blake didn't get kidnapped by the Uber.
I guess I was taking Jake for granted to make up for the closure I still craved with Blake.
My eyes tracked Skylar as she executed a perfect pout. Guilt was what I felt as I watched her. My guilt because I was lying, and Jake's guilt that he had broken her and let her go. She was flawless, and yet she still didn't have everything she deserved.
I remember the way Jake froze when he saw her for what was probably the first time in person in a very long time. If she had that kind of effect on him, I could only imagine the ripple in all of our lives if they ever got back together.
It was an hour later when the light finally dimmed and the director declared that the photo shoot was over. She looked positively glowing as she bounced over.
"That had to be one of my favorites," she grinned. "I've never worked with a green screen before. I can't wait to see how the pictures turn out."
"As long as you're in them, they'll be perfection," I assured her.
She blushed. "Quit flattering me. My head can barely fit through the door as it is."
I threw my head back and laughed. "Oh, please. There's a woman about forty more floors up who will give you a run for your money."
She mocked a pose. "Let's go then."
We continued laughing until we were interrupted by the obnoxious ring of a cellphone. She stopped when she realized it was for her.
It was her agency. She stepped out to answer it.
I was collecting my stuff and getting ready to pack it up for the day when she came back. But this Skylar wasn't the devilish sweetheart from ten minutes earlier.
She was fuming.
I flinched, not expecting the tone she brought with her. "The nerve!" She exclaimed.
"Nerve of who?"
"The absolute balls of my manager to take on my enemy! Not just an arrogant newbie or a respected competition but my enemy!"
In all honestly, I had no idea that anyone could be enemies with Skylar. Nor that she could stand the negative feelings that came with being enemies with someone else.
"Your enemy?" I guessed. "Uh."
"Stella Sicily," she seethed. "My high school nemesis who Jake cheated on me with."
"Woah," I said. "Cheating is a very, er, final word. And it incriminates both parties."
"Well they're both felony cheaters because both mouths were involved."
"Ah, but were both mouths involved with the intent of being involved?"
"Alexa, swapping saliva is like swapping sperm."
I grimaced. "That's not even remotely true. How about you consider that despite that both mouths were involved perhaps one mouth used the other mouth to make you believe that both mouths had the intent of being involved."
She rubbed her temples. "You've lost me."
I held up my hands. "I'm not telling you how to think, Skylar. All I'm saying is that maybe Stella forced herself into Jake to mess with your head, and he had nothing to do with it and couldn't manage to get her off in time."
She pursed her lips. "She does have really long nails and sticky fingers."
"Exactly." I eased Skylar into the chair next to me. I had wanted to have this conversation back at our penthouses, but clearly Stella got her rage pumping like nobody else could. "From what you told me, it sounds like Jake really loved you. And someone who loves you like that wouldn't put themselves in a position to lose you."
She sighed and buried her head in her hands. "I've tried dating since Jake, and not a single one has worked out," she admitted. "I miss him."
"Well, would you ever talk to him again?" I asked. "Could you ever see yourself taking him back and trusting him again?"
"All that implies that he feels just as strongly about me now as he did then," she scoffed.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that I heard he's moved on."
My stomach dropped. "That's a broad claim, Skylar," I said, trying not to sound nervous. "You can't use that to justify why you can't be happy."
She shook her head. "I have no idea how I would even go about talking to him again, let alone putting myself in a position to fully trust him."
"But you're not denying that it's impossible."
She frowned. "It's not," she confessed. "But enough about me! You never told me about your date to the ball. Is he someone you really like?"
I bit my lip. "He's kinda similar to Jake." At least that's not a lie. "He's from my past. And we have a rough history."
"But you like him?"
"I miss him," I said. "A lot more than I realized."
She smiled. "Well, all history and art is against us, but we still expect happiness in love."
Blake's smile was painfully vivid in my mind.
"He is happiness."
"Then go get it," she smiled. "I'll make you a deal. If you will give your mystery man a chance, then I will give Jake a chance."
"Really?"
"Yes," she said. "I'm throwing my twenty-second birthday party this week. And I'll invite Jake and Blake, if you'll invite him, too."
I laughed. "You drive a hard bargain, Miss Hatch, but I accept."
She threw her arms around me and hugged me tight. "You're worth believing in, because you believe in me too, Alexa. Thank you for being such a close confidante."
Oh god. There was that pang in my stomach again.