Unfortunately though, there seemed to be an impasse; one which lasted way longer in Liruliniel's eyes than it perhaps should've. No ground was given, and no ground was taken in an effort to keep orcs from their borders, or from the fortress. But likewise, a possible alliance did not exactly happen or be achieved with Radagast or his neighbour. All independently they went about doing what they all thought was right, for the sake of protecting their homes and themselves. It just meant that if anything, they became more isolated and insular. And that pained Liruliniel, it pained her quite a bit.
She may not be physically up for travelling, but in her mind and heart she still held onto hope that one day she would see the world again. But, even without the need to leave the kingdom, she still couldn't help but write to Khazad-dûm. Everyone else may be retreating into themselves and forgetting about the world beyond their walls, but she definitely wasn't. They were in trouble, and she explicitly said as such in her letter; for once not aiding Thranduil's help in writing it, she did it off her own accord, and she waited for a reply.
And she waited, and she waited, yet she did not get word back for many, many months. This dragged on as long as the apparent impasse with the enemy did. She received no reply, and she wasn't as ignorant to think that if she got one back that it would be kept from her. She did think this briefly, yet marching into the small room where letters were dealt and sent off from, it was clear the elf had no clue about a letter coming in from the dwarven kingdom.
He had been telling her the truth, Liruliniel could see it in his uneasy expression and tone, he didn't like confronting her or giving her replies to questions she'd rather have the opposite to. He wasn't lying, and he wasn't pretending to humour her. He genuinely had zero clue and no recollection of a reply coming in. This had worried Liruliniel. She did not think that Durin would ignore her letter, not like Thrór did to Thranduil's. It wasn't a favouritism thing, but more of a social standing; she had gone to him, and she had spoken lightly and honestly to the dwarf-King. There were many things she thought dwarves held in regard, and that was honesty and frankness. Surely he wouldn't ignore her? They may not have been friends, but they were civil, and he had not deterred her from visiting the kingdom if she wished it. Someone who did that, did not sound like the same who'd ignore a letter, especially if it was one of warning.
More months passed, one season practically bleeding into another and Liruliniel had come to realise that she had not received word from Durin for the simple fact that Khazad-dûm had been abandoned. She had had enough one day, the same day she received this news in fact and had plainly told Thranduil what she had done. He had been less then pleased of course, not appreciating her going behind his back, but also not telling him any of the information she had told the dwarf. Liruliniel knew, she always had done, that telling him or anyone else about the information regarding the orcs and possible goblins homing in on the dwarven realm was pointless.
"You wouldn't go to their aid, so it does not matter now!" Liruliniel had rather rashly exclaimed while raking a hand tiredly through her hair, her sleeping patterns were all over the place and oftentimes would not sleep at all. But she would go for walks, silently she'd leave their shared room and just meander through the kingdom. Sometimes she had a destination in mind, other times she did not.
"That is beside the point, you knew all of this without sharing it; what if by chance something happened here? What would coming clean do then?"
Liruliniel had narrowed her eyes at that, "Hypothetical possibilities are different than reality."
Thranduil hadn't commented back, instead looking at her with an equally plain look. Something was troubling her and unfortunately her mixed up feelings on the matter were being taken out on him, and he wasn't entertaining it. "Then I shall make something of a reality to you. Khazad-dûm is lost." He said it so casually she felt like the air had been knocked out of her lungs as she double took. Thranduil just remained seated on his throne, because this whole confrontation happened in that room, thankfully with no one around.
"How?" She managed to find her voice, though it was broken and soft.
"Abandoned, no soul remains there. I have heard whispers about it on the wind, gossip here and there amongst our kin. No dwarf resides in Khazad-dûm anymore."
Liruliniel pushed her hands through her hair and kept both her hands tangled in the locks atop her head. She looked despairingly up at him. "And so it begins," she whispered, Thranduil tilted his head minutely over her ominous words. Lowering her arms she took a step back, "Two ahead, one beside us...we are being slowly surrounded and suffocated, and yet we will do nothing. That is why I didn't tell you, or anyone. You will see it as the dwarves asked for this, to be chased out of their home. You wouldn't risk our safety for a dragon, so why would you do the same for orcs and goblins? Anything I come to learn about a situation is wasted here, because we will do nothing...I'm sorry, but I can't do nothing." Liruliniel had said somewhat sadly, Thranduil's expression was hard to pin down, he looked confused yet curious over the fact that she seemed to somewhat be talking more to herself than him.
Liruliniel had bowed and left the room, and inwardly she snapped herself to attention. She walked determinedly down the corridor and clenched her hands by her sides. She was becoming insular too, without fully owning up to it. She had retreated inside through fear, yes, but because she could feel her strength ebbing away slowly. She could be a hindrance, and she didn't want that. But at the same time, hiding away was so not her thing. Liruliniel mentally slapped herself, she was a fool. An utter fool. She was doing the one thing she had always vowed to herself would not happen, letting the darkness dictate her life. And here it was doing that! She did not venture out, she did not take part in guarding, she did not train as much anymore, she did nothing but dwell and loiter in the palace. She watched as everyone got on with their lives, and she was stuck. Stuck in this permanent state of existing but not really doing anything, or being of use to anyone.
Enough! She thought determinedly, she did not get raised to be this simpering, in the background elf. She wasn't having it, Liruliniel somewhat resigned herself to the fact that this darkness may one day be her death, and though she wasn't in a hurry to meet it, she was in a hurry to chase it as much away from her lands as she could. She was going back outside, and she was going back outside armoured up and strapped with all weapons possible. This thing that was trying to take their home from them, was not going to win. She was one elf, yes, and she couldn't rightly make much of a difference, but going out meant information, information meant that she could send it to someone who would listen and in the meantime, she would be doing something.
She had always wanted to help those that shared their world alongside her own kind, and she had lost sight of that for a fair few years. She could say it was for many reasons, but it was because she was scared and she was being somewhat selfish. She had lived in peace for so long, quite happily so alongside Thranduil, but no, she was putting her foot down. She was a fighter, and so help her any all higher beings in the world she was going to try her best to give the spiders and their nightmarish accomplice a reason to back off.
Her going back outside involved mainly hunting out Radagast firstly. The wizard did his own thing to protect the land he inhabited, and she wished to know more. She had asked if it was safe to venture further, and Radagast had been somewhat confused before she simply mentioned the bear. Elf guards had seen it, some even heard it and reported back. Radagast had been hesitant, he didn't wish to send her off to her possible death but Liruliniel was adamant. She didn't believe much, if anything had changed from that meeting years ago about what the next steps for protecting their home was.
Doing this alone was ridiculous, that she could admit, but she was at her wits end. Radagast had merely pointed her in the right direction, he had not come with her. Through fear, or something else, she didn't know, but she thanked him all the same and ran off quickly. The atmosphere was heavy and oppressive as usual, she could hear scuttling around her and the chitter-chatter of animals she'd prefer not to see. She didn't encounter spiders, or anything else on her way and in fact, when she finally saw the home that Radagast had instructed her to, she wasn't expecting it to look so quaint.
Likewise, the owner of said house was not expecting visitors...that was an understatement, especially when the door swung open and Liruliniel was practically glared down at. Never the tallest elf, but now she felt downright miniature. "You are a long way from your halls," the rich accented voice spoke somewhat condescendingly at her.
Liruliniel sighed, "You are Beorn, correct?"
"I am, and you are?" He still stood in the doorway, though even from where she stood she could hear animals from within.
"Someone who's fed up." Beorn raised an eyebrow at that, Liruliniel stuck out her hand. "Liruliniel."
"Just that, nothing more?" Beorn seemed to question her quizzically. He looked sceptically at her hand yet seeing as how she wasn't lowering it, he enveloped her much smaller hand in his. Liruliniel looked confused over his words, "Even I, who live so secluded here, have not missed the whispers of a found Princess from a forgotten land and time."
Liruliniel sighed again and hung her head, her gauntlet covered arm going back to her side once Beorn let her hand go. "Who I am is not important, not really. The thing that is important, in the long run, is the trespassers in our home." Beorn was not exactly in Mirkwood, but he was on the outskirts enough to be close to the forest itself. It felt refreshing really, to be outside of the claustrophobic woodland, Liruliniel could admit that much. She felt like she could actually breathe out here.
"It is important if a group of rallying elves are going to come searching for their runaway Princess."
Liruliniel rolled her eyes and scoffed, she crossed her arms and shifted her weight on his doorstep. Looking at him plainly, she raised an eyebrow and all the while Beorn just looked down at her oddly. It was clear he did not know what to make of the elf before him, he didn't have contact with them, or any and he was quite happy with that. "I am not their Princess as such, am I? And they won't come here, not for me. But I have come here, to talk to you."
"Why?" Beorn's response was short and sharp.
Liruliniel turned and walked away, he was clearly not going to let her into his home. She looked around the lush green fields, shielding her eyes with her hand she glanced to the side. The looming shadows of the mountainside could be clearly seen. "Because I want to know if you wish these creatures gone, just as much as me. And if so, maybe a plan could be made to truly rid them of fully entering the forest and getting to where they need to go. As yet, at the moment, many still slip by us. They use the spiders as decoys, you see. Quite happily, and quickly they throw themselves at us, it is distracting as it is irksome. You and I both know where the orcs are going, and I do not know much about you, other than what Radagast has said; but I know you are strong, and I also know I wouldn't want to cross you." She laughed nervously, looking up when he joined her side. She only heard him because his footfalls quietly crumpled the soft grass and the material of his simple brown trousers moving as he walked towards her. She had never met a skin-changer before, Beorn was not exactly what she expected, or was he? She didn't know. Taller than her by far, he was probably taller than most elves; long greying brown hair trailed down his back, his arms were basically both of hers put together and then some, tall and broad, strong and serious, Liruliniel was under no illusion she was with someone who was both smart and deadly. Beorn just gave off this aura not to cross him, but yet, also seemed polite enough to entertain talking to her. His tone was low, but it wasn't rough and crude. He was polite to her, and she to him.
"You are working alone, and not with your kin." Beorn stated, his caramel coloured eyes looked over the field before his home before looking down at her. "Why?"
Liruliniel frowned, "Because I am going to get them involved. I am sick and tired of sitting and seeing nothing be done. I am fed up of watching as my home is destroyed and parts taken from me. We maybe fighting a losing battle, but I am sure we won't lose if we fight this together. How else do you think there was success last time? Hiding away is not going to achieve anything, and I'm done with hiding. I trained for years to fight to protect those closest to me, and the war hit me hard, Beorn...I can only use that as a reason to not get involved for so long. I am not using what happened as an excuse anymore, because I know those that I lost, would be somewhat ashamed of me for doing so. I am a fighter, so I am coming back to fighting."
"Warrior Princess, that is intriguing." Beorn mustered thoughtfully, he placed his hands on his hips and looked down at her with narrowed eyes. "You are not like them."
"I get that a lot, shockingly a lot, believe me."
"What do you have in mind?" Beorn was curious, he didn't know what it was about her or what she said, but he sensed no ill will from her, and just plain honesty. He was a good judge of character, or he liked to think after so many years. Liruliniel stood in her armour, with a small but tired smile on her face and looked up at him hopefully aiming to get him to agree to what she suggested.
"Years ago there was a discussion about when the orcs were first spotted on our borders. I stated that there were a few number who would see fit to protect our lands. I am sorry, but I named you as one without you knowing. The same went for Radagast," though hearing that had Beorn rolling his eyes with a sigh. Liruliniel laughed, "He tries his best!" She defended the wizard, and that she strongly believed. "The orcs, still after all these years do not fully know the lay of the land, but likewise, though technically on the same side, they fear the spiders. You can see their tracks sometimes totally avoiding where particular nests are." She paused, looking about herself and just taking to sitting down cross legged.
Beorn just blinked at her casual nature, yet he soon sat down opposite to her. Did she often come off this casual with everyone? It was an odd change for him, most regarded him coolly and hesitantly. With good reason, yes, but even still it was nice to be treated normally for once. "It is because they are vicious, and they go for anything."
Liruliniel raised an eyebrow and placed her hands on her knees, she looked at him knowingly. "And this is my suggestion, two birds with one stone as it were. We need to get rid of both, but why not pit the two off against each other? They freely use the spiders against us, but why can we not do the same? Drive them in, drive them towards the webs and the nests, the spiders are vicious as you said, and in defence of their homes they will attack anyone, and anything. See who is left, if any, and finish them off."
"Swift and precise. But what if it does not work?"
"I have not seen you when you are changed, but I imagine you are quite terrifying. Even I would run, and well, in the past I was not one for running but I may run nowadays." She admitted with a shy smile. "Beorn, you are out here on the frontlines, you see them venture near, and you know the paths they take."
"Some are on wargs." Beorn said, he watched as Liruliniel's face dropped. "Your plan is rudimentary at best. Simple, but it could be effective. Somehow, I do not think I would be the problem here though. It is your kin. They are secretive, and they keep to themselves. Persuading me is one thing, but persuading them? I do not envy being in your position right now." Beorn said, smirking a little over the pout which appeared on her face.
"Our Captain, she is my friend...she took the previous ones position when he died in a raid." Liruliniel said slowly, Tauriel had been promoted when Eruaran died in a fight some years back. "She isn't one for injustices, and actually I believe she shares my view. This isn't just about our little piece of land, Beorn...it's about a bigger whole, one which is so much larger than us. They cannot be allowed to continue gathering in numbers in the old fortress, but to stop them I cannot do it alone." Liruliniel admitted, lowering her head sadly as she sat in silence. All she could hear were birds singing and the wind breeze by, another autumn was heading their way, and quickly at that.
"Chase them in, leave them to it. If any come close, I will kill them. Those that do not die will either die by your hands, or the spiders."
Liruliniel looked up sharply, "You will help?"
Beorn smiled, a slightly bitter thing but honest. "You have nerve for one so small." He deduced, his way of saying yes without actually saying it. But what he said was right, not many came here, least of all alone regardless of the amount of weapons strapped to their person.
"You're just really tall, Beorn." Liruliniel smiled with a quiet laugh. Beorn tilted his head yet let out a heavy sigh in agreement. He patted his knees and stood up slowly, towering over her again as she shot up too. "I am uncertain whether we will have much contact really. We patrol quite often and no doubt will see the outcomes of your handiwork." Liruliniel took a step back and bowed to him before turning and running off. She did wave a hand over her shoulder as a thanks and farewell. She resisted halting or slowing down as she came upon the outskirts of the forest, yet with one last lungful of clean air, she jumped through and up a tree with a heavy exhale. The fresh air from moments ago was gone, and what replaced it now was a stale, stagnant smell of musty earth and dirt.
She felt uneasy, and she had done ever since coming outside. Always she felt like something was on her heels, chasing her through the gloom of the forest canopy. If she looked over her shoulder, she wouldn't see anything but the path she left behind. It was as if whatever was following her, hid at the last second and as soon as her eyes were forwards again, it was back to breathing down her neck. Truly, Liruliniel had never felt so uneasy and uncomfortable outside before. It was a feeling she wasn't accustomed to, always she had sought safety and peace in amongst the trees. And now, even as she skipped and jumped from branch to branch, she didn't feel safe at all. Did she regret coming out? No, no she didn't regret it because she felt like she was actually doing something. Something that could hopefully benefit them all.
Did that mean others agreed with her? No, not by a long shot. Thranduil's reaction to seeing her suited up was to stare coolly at her, his expression utterly blank and his eyes staring hard into hers. He radiated unhappiness and displeasure, he was annoyed, but Liruliniel would go further and say he was downright angry. She didn't have time to muse over this before he marched towards her in the corridor, grabbed her gauntlet covered forearm and practically hauled her away and out of sight. If she was going to get berated, at least he was being so kind as to do it in private unlike last time. That was a small mercy, and in fact, Liruliniel felt different from that last spontaneous moment. Something in her had turned steely, she didn't like arguing with him, and both knew it just hurt themselves, but if he was coming for her, she was going to have answers for whatever he shot her way.
He practically barged a door open and slammed it shut behind them, Thranduil let her go and paced away only to turn back with a stormy expression, slowly walk back to her. "I am struggling to find words to use, which will not degrade what intelligence and sensibility you have."
Liruliniel quirked an eyebrow, "You can call me an idiot, a fool, I won't get offended." She had already called herself one earlier, what difference did it make?
Thranduil shook his head slightly, "Even that doesn't cover it."
Liruliniel's heart pinched, perhaps she was wrong then. If he saw her as more of a fool, what upstaged that she didn't know, then that truly did hurt her. "Would it make it better, if you knew I went outside like this for a reason?"
"No." Thranduil was very firm on that matter. He didn't care for her reason, he cared that she went behind his back and didn't tell him she went out at all. They had both shared concerns on her venturing outside, it was why she no longer actively did so; the oppressive nature of their homeland weighed her down, it took her energy and forced her almost immobile at times. Being outside and struck down like this meant she was an easy target, there were enough enemies now in their woodland that one or both could take advantage. If they did, and he didn't know she was even out, what would he do? How would he survive that loss?
Liruliniel frowned, she pushed past him and Thranduil's reaction was to shoot her an icy look. "I can't take it anymore! I am sorry, I cannot. You may be happy for me to dwell within the palace walls and do next to nothing, but I am not. This feeling of restlessness has been growing in me for years, and I opted to ignore it, because of you and for you. The last thing I would want is my actions to bring you pain, but I can't ignore it anymore..." Liruliniel threw her armoured arms in the air before turning away from the window in this random room they were in, and looked back at him. Thranduil was only half turned, looking more over his shoulder at her with narrowed eyes than actually looking at her fully. "I can't sit back and watch the same thing, day in and day out. I can't freely attend meetings, knowing that it is the same stuff talked about each day too. It is all the same, and there is no change. So yes, I went behind your back and have hopefully put into place a way to solve at least one of our problems. Beorn the skin-changer and I have come to an arrangement, one which doesn't really need much of our intervention at all. The orcs choose to walk a trail near his home, he guards the surrounding area and has said that those he does not kill, he will drive in. Once in, purposely they will head in the direction of nests, they avoid those areas usually and seem to think we will not use the spiders against them because we're not so petty...I can be quite petty, and I am not ashamed to sink to that low. The spiders and orcs will fight, whoever is remaining we can deal with. It is pest control at its best. Simple, yes, but it should work." Liruliniel explained with a small shrug as she recited more or less her whole plan of action as well as giving hint to what she had done with her day.
"It was not your place to do such a thing," his tone was low and serious as he finally turned on his heels and looked at her fully. Liruliniel's expression dwindled, he was still angry with her, she could tell. "For someone so loyal, you have tendencies to be incredibly disloyal." Liruliniel felt the air rush out of her as she almost staggered over hearing that come from him, Thranduil just remained rooted to the spot as he watched her back off to lean against a wall for support. She looked utterly hurt by those words, Thranduil felt a weight drop within him, he felt awful for saying it too. Yes, perhaps he was aiming to lash out and hurt her in return, it was childish but he didn't know what else to say or do. Times like this just didn't go well with speaking sense to her, because she would not listen. He didn't mean to clearly hurt her, but at least she now hurt like he did over her sneaking about without him knowing. "Not just to me, the one who you could trust above all others here, but to those who are otherwise in positions of leadership. Tauriel, for one as our Captain, Imrathon as well, you have gone behind their backs thinking their decisions and ideas are worth nought in comparison to what you could come up with. Liruliniel, you are smart, but do not think you are above them and me in thinking up ways to protect us all here, along with our home. You may have learned underneath some of the wisest elves, but you are not one of them. You believe you know best, without actually opening up and talking to us. Do you think Tauriel will agree to your plan? That she would divert from tactics and routines, just to appease you and this idea that you concocted on your own? I do not think so, somehow." Thranduil said, all in a simple tone, somewhat condescending to her and about her and he had to stand blank faced and watch as she sagged more against the wall. His words were a heavy blow to her, and he could see that. It would be awful of him to say he didn't mean any of what he said, but some words were true; he did mean some of it, too much actually. "You should've come to me first, with this convoluted plan of yours."
Liruliniel frowned slowly, her eyes were burning a little and her heart was thumping away in her chest. She was surprised she couldn't physically hear it echoing in the room. "So you could call me more than a fool, degrade and patronise me some more? No, no I think not. I talk to you, I tell you the bad things I see and feel are coming and yet again, you've reverted back to doing nothing. Your father wouldn't do nothing! That is why I did not come to you, yet again, because you are opting to do nothing! I am sick and tired of sitting back and watching nothing! We have all become so self reliant, so incapsulated within ourselves that we are stuck in a loop, and no one here can see it! Am I truly the only one who can?! I told you that we had two enemies in front and one beside us, and you have chosen to do nothing! Khazad-dûm has fallen into ill will, Gundabad are marching orcs downwards and to us; why are we not doing anything?! We have an army, we have enough to stop the small numbers from coming here. Gundabad-"
"Stop naming that place." Thranduil all but seethed. "Do you not think I know what is going on beyond our walls? Do you honestly believe I am that ignorant, that naïve? You are saying we are all so within ourselves, coming from you that means little because you are the prime example of this. You opted to close yourself off from all around you. And only now, because some dwarf kingdom has been abandoned, do you opt to pay notice to the world again. We have been struggling for years, Liruliniel, and you just didn't see it. Do not speak more of possible fighting, least of all that place, I do not wish to hear it. I am doing what I believe is right for us all, if you only listened and looked about yourself, you'd know that."
Liruliniel gritted her teeth, here came another impasse, both too stubborn to back down from each other. "I think you're in the wrong." Just keeping to themselves and helping themselves was more or less everything she was against.
Thranduil tilted his head as he went to turn away to the door. He looked sparingly at her before he turned away completely, "I don't wholly care." He said while hearing a quiet pained noise from her, Thranduil fought against the need to apologise for being so blunt, and he knew she felt the same, he could feel it tugging within him at that invisible but very obvious link they shared. A knock happened upon the door before he could open it, "Enter." He said calmly, not betraying his feelings or thoughts in his voice.
Both watched as an elf guard opened the door and looked at the pair. They were unaware whether anyone heard their words, but the elf looked at Thranduil worriedly. "The dragon, sire. It has been spotted crossing the Misty Mountains, it is heading this way fast."
"Gather everyone, tell them we leave immediately." Thranduil said while walking forwards towards the younger elf, he stopped and looked at Liruliniel though when she moved quietly after him. "You're staying."
"But-"
"Do not even try to persuade me otherwise, Liruliniel." Thranduil's tone was deadly serious, it was a tone that she couldn't recall having directed her way before. It made her freeze, her eyes widened and a chill ran down her spine. She felt hollow, disheartened and a bit scared really. One of those few times had happened where he was showing the control over the short anger span had slipped, and it was aiming right at her. Seeing her stop short, Thranduil just turned away and tried to erase the pained look on her face from his mind as he followed the elf out of the room.
Liruliniel stood there and left a few moments later, she paused when she could distantly hear the marching of boots; rushing onwards she managed to run up a flight of stairs and open a balcony door, just to see the army being led outwards with Thranduil at the head. She felt uneasy again, shutting her eyes she gripped onto the railing of the balcony and just lowered her head, her many braids were back and the one they all fed into fell over her shoulder. She felt disjointed, an inner turmoil was rushing through her and she watched as the last sight of golden armour could be seen before turning and reentering the palace again. Were Thranduil's words right at all? Liruliniel couldn't help but think they were, at least to a point. So, he thought she was just some naïve elf who ignored the obvious and did whatever they wanted, when they wanted? Liruliniel didn't think she was that foolish, her actions had reasons behind them, and they weren't selfish reasons either. Not saying his actions were selfish, but...Liruliniel felt lost, again, and she didn't quite know what to do. The dragon was heading towards Erebor, and she had unwittingly already figured out one dwarf kingdom had fallen, and now she had to stay here with the knowledge of knowing another one was about to follow suit.
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(A/N: I wrote this at like one in the morning last night, I have zero idea what it's like. I haven't reread it for errors because I'm feeling lazy, rather depressed, bored, and unmotivated to do so :-\ )