Before I left the town, I spent some time with my mom for a few hours. Sarah drop me to the bus station.
She also went back to her sorority house the same day I went back to LA.
Tyler call me immediately when I got back.
He brought some exciting news for me.
"Oh my God! Remember that agent who was scouting the other day?!" He was yelling.
"Yeah.. I think I remember." I said nodding.
Feeling anxious with the way he's acting.
"You got in!" He annouce being all jumpy.
He handed me a piece of letter.
"Wait, what?!" I asked also yelling while openning the letter.
"You pass the initial audition! They're inviting you for final assessment! I'm so happy for you!" He said while shaking my shoulder.
I can feel my heart beating unsteady.
"I'm so excited and nervous at the same time." I said truthfully.
My whole body is shaking.
"I'm sure you'll get the role!" We both jump around and yelled in excitement.
"I'm going to meet my favorite celebrities! This is awesome!" I said while placing my hands on both of his cheeks.
I didn't tell anyone about this wonderful news. Not even Sarah.
For the whole week, I was so engross with preparing for my final audition.
I prayed so hard to get the role for this new tv series program.
If I get lucky, this could be my breakthrough project.
Tyler help me study my lines.
I suddenly got a call from Tori.
It's been awhile since the last time we talked.
"Hi Liv!" She said on the other line.
"Hey! It's been a while. How are you?" I asked.
"Congratulations! I heard you'll be having your final audition this weekend?"
"Um.. yeah.." I immediately look at Tyler.
You told Tori about my audition?
I only mouthed the words without making much noise.
He just nodded and gave me a thumbs up.
"Sorry, I've been very busy with school and some stuff.. But I really miss you. You didn't even tell me that you were home a week ago." She said souding a little upset.
"Sorry.. It was just a one day trip for Sarah's birthday." I said honestly.
"It's okay. I understand." She replied.
"I have a favor to ask... can you please not tell Sarah about this audition? I don't want her to overreact." I asked.
"Sure thing." She said chuckling.
"Thanks. I'm glad you called. I've miss you too." I said.
"I'm actually very nervous right now. I don't think I'll passed the final test." I said.
"Nooo! Don't say that. You got this! You will get that role because you're awesome!" She said enthusiastically with encouragement.
"You sound just like Tyler." I said with a soft chuckle.
"Great minds think a like." She said.
We ended up talking the whole day.
For a moment, I forgot all my anxiety and worries.
---
Tyler accompany me for my last audition.
"Okay, are you ready for this?" He asked.
I was getting anxious each passing minutes.
"Olivia, c'mon.. Don't tell me you're having second thoughts now." He said while shaking my arm.
"I don't think I'm ready. What if I made a huge fool out of myself." I said while looking around.
There were at least 10 people who were called in just like me.
"Okay stop it right there. We didn't wake up so early in the morning and drive three hours on the way here just for you to back out this last minute." He was looking at me seriously.
"Yeah I know.." I inhale deeply.
"Just relax.. Don't worry, okay just remember all our practice and rehearsals." He said smiling.
"Do you really think I have a chance?" I asked nervously.
"Of course, you've work so hard for this. And if things don't go well. It is still worth a try don't you think?" He replied while giving me a slight pressure on my shoulder.
I nodded slightly.
"I guess you're right." I replied
We waited for about two hours.
"The wait is killing me.." I said.
My hands are getting all sweaty.
"Geez, Olivia... I told you to relax. Do you want me to call Sarah? Maybe she can help you relax." He said getting a bit irritated.
"No! I didn't tell her about this. So don't." I replied almost immediately.
He raise his eyebrows.
"Feeling better?" He asked again.
"Huh?" I'm really confused.
"Looks like you finally got rid of your jitters." He said.
I thought of it for a few seconds.
He was right. I stop thinking about how nervous I am.
The crew started calling my name.
"Miss Olivia Ford" the crew said.
I stood up from my seat.
"Yes, that's me."
Tyler tap my back with an encouraging thumbs up.
"Break a leg." He said smiling.
I enter the room.
There were four people in the panel which includes the director and producer.
I think I'm gonna pass out. My anxiety level just went up and my heart rate is continuously getting higher.
"Ready Ms. Ford?" One of the panel member asked.
I gulp once then nodded.
"You're asking me what you did?!" I started the line a bit shaky.
"You! You took everything from me! All the attention, care, love.. Everything! Our parents cater to everything you need. They stop seeing me for who I am." I started to channel the character's rage and anger. Building up my voice and started yelling spitefully.
I could totally relate to the character.
"I'm just your shadow!"
Tears started to fall in my eyes.
I suddenly thought of Oliver and Sarah.
"Do you have any idea how that feels?" I feel like my heart is sinking.
I can't even control my tears anymore.
I wipe it off.
I think I'm already overdoing it.
"It feels like I'm in hell." I said the last line and close my eyes for a brief second.
I could barely look at the panel.
I'm too caught up with my own emotions.
"Thank you Ms. Ford."
I'm not sure how it went.
Was is good or bad?
"We'll just give you a call." I heard the director said lastly before I was instructed to go out.
Oh crap! That can't be a good sign.
Tyler ran after me when he saw me walking out of the room.
I was just silent.
He tap my back.
"I don't know what happen inside but I know you did your best. Just stay positive."
I shook my head.
"I don't know Ty. They said they're just going to give me call." I said sadly.
"Then we will wait for that call and hear the good news together." He said while messing my hair.
I slap his hands away.
"Don't mess my hair." I said glaring at him.
He just chuckle and link arms with me.
I got a call from Tori.
"Hey Liv! How was the audition?" She asked super excited.
"It's a disaster I think?" I replied.
"Oww.. that is impossible. They must be blind." She replied changing her tone into a more empathic and consoling way.
Tyler stole the phone from me.
"Hey Tori! Don't listen to her. I'm sure she did well. If they don't get Olivia for this role then that's gonna be their lost not hers." He said defensively.
I laugh hard.
He look at me as we both laugh.
"By the way, we miss you. Come visit us when you have a free time. We can go clubbing like last time." He said.
"Can you please give my phone back?" I said.
He gave it back.
"Sorry about that. You don't have to listen to Tyler. I'm sure you're busy at school." I said apologetically.
"No need to be sorry about anything. I wish I didn't have such a hectic schedule right now. If there's any place I would rather be right now, that would be in LA with you guys." She said.
"Well you can always come here when you're not busy." I replied smiling.
I heard someone calling Tori's name in the other line.
"Sorry, I need to hang up now. Don't think too much about the audition. I'm sure there are a lot of opportunities out there waiting for you." She replied lastly.
"Thanks Tori bye."
Tyler decided to treat me lunch today.
We ate burgers.
"You know, I really thought I had it." I said.
We're talking about my audition.
"You need to stop stressing out. It's not the end of the world yet. So what if they didn't like it? Are you just gonna give up your dream?" He replied.
"What if acting isn't for me? Maybe I should just go back and finish college." I replied getting upset about my life choices.
He slap my forehead.
"One rejection shouldn't stop you from chasing your dream. You can go to college or continue to pursue acting here. You should do whatever makes you happy. Didn't I tell you not to doubt yourself?" He replied firmly.
I gave a genuine smile.
"You're right. When did you get so good at giving advise?" I replied asking.
"I say it all the time. Maybe this is the first time you actually tried to listen to me." He said laughing.
"Maybe because you always gave me awful advise in the past." I replied joking.
He seem a bit offended.
"Excuse me but when exactly did I ever gave you a bad advise?" He asked.
"Plenty of times geez.. I can't even count it on my fingers." I replied.
He fake a laugh.
"Are you sure? Maybe you're talking about Sarah. She's weird and kinda crazy. I could only imagine how many crazy advise she had given you in the past. You probably got us mixed up." He replied while eating.
"You're practically a male version of her so that's like you're admitting to being weird and crazy too." I replied.
"Oh heck no!" He shook his head multiple times in disagreement.
He lean forward while trying to get my full attention.
"Tell me the truth Olivia.. Do you still have feelings for her?" He asked curiously.
"Why does it matter? We will never be a thing. She's dating my brother and she only see me as a sister." I replied.
"Then why not give Tori a chance?" He asked.
I don't know how our conversation end up this way.
"Why are you suddenly taking an interest on my love life?" I asked suspiciously.
He shrug his shoulder.
"As you know, Gerard and I are taking things seriously. I just thought it will be fun to have a double date. It's Valentines season too. Don't you want to be in a relationship?" He replied.
"Yeah I don't know how you suddenly insert this topic when we were just talking about how bad my audition was." I mention.
"And why are you so allergic to this? We are just talking about relationship and love." He said in defense.
"I'm not looking to date someone right now." I replied.
"Are you sure? Maybe you're just waiting." He replied.
"Waiting for Sarah? As if.. pff!" I replied while taking a sip of my soda.
"I didn't even say her name. That came out from you." He replied while finishing his meal.
"And I'm saying you're wrong. Stop twisting my words." I said seriously.
He started laughing.
"Okay.. okay, you don't need to be so serious now." He said.
"You're starting to piss me off." I said while throwing a tissue at his face.
He started making fun of me.
"If you don't want a relationship then maybe just get a fling. You know at least have some fun." He said winking.
"Are you not gonna shut your mouth?" I took another ball of tissue and ready to smash it inside of his big mouth.
"Hey! C'mon.. I'm just saying. Why are you getting all mad at me for?" He replied while catching both of my arms.
"Just stop teasing me!" I said while glaring.
The rest of the week went by like any ordinary day.
I still didn't get a call from my audition.
I became preoccupied with my work.
There's a lot of customers during second month of the year. A lot of couples are dining or buying cakes and pastries.
I barely had any time to enjoy my break time.
I was just about to finish my shift today when I got called in by our manager.
"Olivia come to my office for a second." She said.
I got inside.
"So you see, Valentines day is in a few days from now. We have an incoming huge catering event and we really need all workers available."
I nodded while listening to her.
"And since this is a special occassion, we will give all of you a big bonus and the pay rate is doubled." She said smiling.
No problem for me.
"That's great. I'm actually in need of extra cash." I replied.
"Okay then I'm counting on you. If you know anyone who would be interested in taking a part time job, don't hesitate to tell me." She said lastly.
I nodded my head and smile before leaving.
I called Tyler and ask him if he was interested. He decline though. He said he was going to spend his time with Gerard on his dayoff.
I came straight to my place and sat comfortably on my couch.
I am so tired.
I close my eyes for a second.
I didn't realize I fell asleep.
The next morning
I stay all day at my house since I got an early day off.
I just sat on my couch and have an all day movie marathon while eating noodles.
I heard my phone ringing after a few hours.
I suppose Tyler wants to bug me again while he's on break.
"Hey! Where are you?" He asked.
"I'm busy. Why are you calling?" I replied asking.
"I went to your work. You weren't there." He replied.
"Yeah, it's my dayoff." I said.
"Oh so you're at home. Please don't tell me you're having movie marathon again." He said dramatically.
I pause the movie.
"No I'm not!" I said a little too defensive.
"Yes you are.. oh Olivia, you really need to step out of your comfort zone." He replied casually.
"I'm perfectly fine. Stop bugging me." I replied before I hang up the phone.
I turn off the television after a few hours and step outside to eat my lunch.
"Relationships are so overrated. So what if I'm single." I mumbled to myself.
I'm eating my food in the corner while looking around the other tables. Most people dining are couples.
"I bet not all of them are even that happy." I said bitterly.
I have a habit of talking to myself when I'm alone.
I went back to my house after eating.
I lay on my bed.
I took my phone out and started scanning on my old photos.
I wonder what Sarah's doing right now.
I seldom reply to her messages.
I got really busy with my work.
I decided to text her.
"Hi Sar! How are you doing?" I sent her a text.
She instantly sent me an invitation for a video call.
I was a bit self conscious about how I look so I fix my hair down before answering her call.
"Hey!!! I was beginning to think you were ignoring me again. How busy can you be to not reply to my text huh?" She said casually.
I smiled with her silliness.
"You know February is a busy month." I replied.
"I'm telling you for a thousandth time, just quit that job. Why won't you listen to me?" She whine.
"How about you stop scolding me mom?" I joked.
She's starting to sound like a mom to be honest.
"Argh, I'll stop when you finally listen. Anyway, how have you been?" She asked curiously.
"Yeah, still no luck I guess. It's my dayoff and I have nothing to do. I'm kinda bored. How about you?" I replied while moving my pillow.
"preparing for our Valentines party." She said while she move her phone so I can see her decorating.
"I bet you miss the times when I was helping you out." I replied laughing.
"Yes, you have no idea how much I've miss those times." She sighed frustratingly.
"I've actually miss it too." I replied.
She gave me a huge smile.
"Maybe you can help us out here?" She suggest.
"I have a really busy schedule right now. We have a big catering event. I'm sorry I don't think I'll have any free time this month." I said honestly.
"Yeah, no of course I understand." She replied.
"I feel bad for Tori though." She added.
"Huh?"
"Long distance relationship must be hard right?" She seem concerned.
I nodded awkwardly.
She look at her watch.
"Oh shoot! I'm almost late for class. Can you call me again later?" Sarah said.
"Yeah okay. Take care." I said before we end the call.
I really need to tell Sarah that Tori and I are not really dating.
---
A few days later.
We are now preparing the food in the kitchen for our important catering event.
It is indeed a huge party. A 50th anniversary celebration of a big successful company slash Valentines Party.
A lot of guest also attend the party.
Oh boy! This is gonna be a lot of work.
We started serving food and drinks on each table.
I prepared the wine and started walking around to hand it to the guest.
Most VIP guest are quite demanding.
Now I understand why my manager was generous about giving us higher rate and bonus.
It's my first time serving in a huge event like this.
If not for the money, I would have probably given up.
The whole night was very busy and tiring.
I came home past midnight.
I immediately plop on my bed to rest.
I didn't even had the strength to get up and freshen myself up.
When I close my eyes, I recall all my misfortune. Right from the beginning when I got scam.
I can barely keep up with paying all my bills.
I feel like my life just continuously gets boring and sad.
But
I don't feel like going home like a loser either.
Why is it so hard to just be happy and successful?
I was in deep thought when my phone starts ringing.
I lazily took my phone and accidentally swipe the receive button.
"O are you still awake?" It was Sarah.
"Mmm... yeah.." I said while letting my phone rest in front of me.
"I can't see you properly." She said.
"I'm lying on my bed. Aren't you suppose to be asleep by now?" My voice is kinda dry now.
I was really exhausted tonight.
"The party isn't over yet. I can't sleep." She said.
Right it's their Valentines Party.
"Where are you?" I asked.
It's kinda dark.
"In my room. I turn off the lights. Wait a sec.." She replied.
She turn on her lamp shade so I can see her.
"How was your work?" She asked.
"Very tiring.." I tried to cover my yawning.
"if the party isn't over then why are you hiding in your room?" I asked curiously.
"The girls are just preoccupied with their own boyfriends." She replied.
I guess Oliver miss the party.
I shift my side on the bed to make myself more comfortable.
"You look really tired. I'm sorry for disturbing you. Maybe you should rest. Good night O." She spoke softly.
I rub my eyes with my palm.
"It's okay. I'm glad you called but I just really had a long tiring day today. I have to wake up early tomorrow too." I replied.
"I told you not to overwork yourself." She said softly with full of concern.
"I know.. You don't have to worry about me." I replied smiling.
I started sneezing.
"You always say that but you don't take care of yourself. How can I not worry about you." She said seriously.
"Mm.. yeah..." I mumbled
I must have been very tired.
I fell asleep in the middle of our video call.