// cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will //
It's been about a week since Thanksgiving and school has been relatively busy so I've been in my room a lot trying to finish up all the work. Mom and dad are keeping to their promise and have been home early from work most days which is nice.
Tom has been coming over more too since he asked Kris to tutor him in some subjects but they usually sit in the dining room. Kris says it's because it's not as stuffy there but I know she just doesn't want me to tease her about them being in her room alone.
I've already gotten used to their relationship so when I see them holding hands or smiling giddily at each other, I don't feel weird anymore. Well, I'm certainly not running away nor cringing when I see them together that's for sure.
Only sometimes, because I'm not too fond of public display of affection.
"Cassidy! Dinner is ready." I hear my mom call from downstairs so I put my laptop on sleep mode and the Wikipedia page turns black. I release my hair from the lazy bun I put it in after I came out of the shower. I didn't want them to fall onto my face when I do homework as that can get really distracting. I comb through my hair with my fingers as I walk down the stairs and I can already smell food.
"You finished your algebra work yet, Cass?" I hear Kris ask as I sit down next to her.
"Yeah, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be but it still took some time to finish." She nods at my answer and mom joins us at the table and sits at her usual spot next to dad, which happens to be in front of me.
"Now that everyone is here, let's eat. I made lasagna with grandma's recipe." Everyone serves themselves and dinner is filled with small chatter about school and work. Kris announces the news that she has already sent in her application for her choice of universities and that she's decided to take medicine as her major instead of nursing. I think everyone at the table knows the reason behind her sudden change but no one says anything.
After dinner, Kris and I help to wash up while mom goes for a shower. Dad goes to watch TV but I'm not sure what he's watching since he's put the volume pretty soft.
"Is Tom nervous for the finals?" I ask in an attempt to make a conversation in the midst of our washing. We decided not to use the dishwasher and I'm not quite sure why.
"He is but I'm sure he'll do fine. He's been studying a lot lately in preparation for it, he really doesn't want to stay back for another year." I just nod but doesn't say anything else and neither does Kris. We just silently wash the dishes as we listen to the soft voices coming from the television.
After about thirty minutes of clean up duty, I go back up to my room but I don't get back to homework immediately. Instead, I go online to look for bracelet and necklace charms. I find a few decently priced ones with nice designs but I could have easily gotten them at the shop so it isn't really worth the hassle of shipping and everything.
After multiple pages of looking at different charms that are pretty but don't really catch my eye, I finally find something that might be perfect. They look like different polygons so maybe I can google a random medicine or something like that and try to copy its scientific shape or whatever it is called.
Kris is studying medicine so maybe this can be my little customized gift to her. It will remind her of home when she looks at it.
I check the price of the charms and thankfully, it's not too expensive. There's also more than enough for me to use in case I mess up somehow. I check the details and add it to my cart but then I realize I need to ask my mom for her credit card to pay.
I quickly run down to see if mom is there and I'm also hoping that Kris has already gone up to her room. Thankfully, only mom and dad are in the living room so I ask mom. She agrees immediately when I tell her it's for Kris's Christmas present. I thank her quickly with a hug and asks her to keep it a secret.
"Do you really think I would have ruined the surprise?" Mom sounds offended but I know she's just joking. I smile at her and kiss her cheek before thanking her again. I run up to my room and place the order with a smile set on my face the entire time. It should arrive just before Christmas which is just perfect.
I know Kris will like whatever I get for her but I really hope she loves this one.
//
"So today we will be talking about..."
I tune out the rest of what Mrs. Smith is saying and start to make 'notes' in my notebook. Kris has been acting a bit weird lately and I'm starting to worry about her. I might talk to her after school today because I know by experience that bottling up all the sad stuff is not good for the mind at all.
"Miss Simmons?" I look up when I hear my name and I see Mrs. Smith staring at me. "You've been staring at your table for awfully long."
That is basically the cue for everyone to turn their attention to me.
"I'm sorry Mrs. Smith, I wanted to ask you a question but I didn't want to interrupt you so I was thinking about writing it down so I can ask you after class." I give a shy smile and she smiles back.
"Oh, next time just raise your hand if you have a question. Okay, dear?" I nod and she turns back to teaching. I let out a sigh of relief but I sort of feel bad for lying to her. She's a really nice teacher but I don't want to get in trouble because that would interrupt the class.
For the rest of the lesson, I pay attention and I even make some notes, real ones. When the class ends, Mrs. Smith asks about my question but I tell her I understand it now and thank her with a smile. It's already lunch time and I forgot to bring my own lunch to school today so after I put away my books I walk towards the canteen.
I get an egg sandwich from the canteen and choose an empty table to sit down. I manage to finish my lunch in peace, with only a few stares coming my way. I throw the plastic box just in time as I hear the bell ring. I see Kris on my way to get my books for English class, I smile and wave at her but she only returns the gesture with a small smile before walking away.
That's weird.
I shake it off and make a mental note to ask Tom if he knows anything about Kris if I see him. I get into my class just before the teacher comes in and the rest of the day basically goes on the same way. I quickly finish my work for the day and since I don't feel tired, I help mom prepare dinner. We still have some leftover lasagna so we just heated that up and made a simple salad.
Dinner is uneventful and we just spend time catching up with each other's day, occasionally even talking about our plans for Christmas Day. It's our family day so we'll be spending most of it at home but we might go out at night to look at the lights they have every year in the park.
"Hey, Kris?" I call out to her after dinner just as she's about to go upstairs and take a shower.
"Yeah?"
"You're fine, right? You seem a bit distant lately." The worrying tone in my voice is clear but Kris just smiles and shakes her head.
"It's good. I'm just a bit stressed about the possibility of not getting into university." I nod since it does make sense, maybe I'm just being too paranoid.
"Don't worry too much, sis. You'll do great!" She nods distractedly then turns and goes up. Soon, I make my way up to my room as well. I turn on my laptop and as I'm scrolling through Facebook, a picture from ages ago suddenly pops up.
It is a picture of Nate, Tom, and Kris during one of the school's football games. Kris is in the middle holding a foam finger and both Nate and Tom have their arms around her. They all have huge smiles on their faces. Kris is in our school's spirit shirt and her hair is in a high ponytail.
My heart constricts a bit when I'm reminded of what happened. How my sister lost her- No, I can't think about all of this. I close the tab and try to distract myself by going on YouTube to watch a few DIY videos so I can get an idea on how to make the special charm for Kris.
I should probably go to my local craft shop and ask for something that I can use to stick the charms together. I think I could probably go during this weekend since I don't have anything else planned anyways. I make a reminder on my phone since I don't have the best memory and I don't want to rush everything right before Christmas eve.
I look at the clock at the bottom of the screen and it's already ten thirty. It's weird how fast time passes by nowadays. I've thought about that way too much lately but it is the absolute truth. I shut down the laptop and change into some comfortable clothes. I wash my face and by the time I'm out of the bathroom, I'm all ready for bedtime. I switch off all the lights and pull the covers over me.
I suddenly realize I left my phone on my desk so with a groan I get up and I feel my way to my phone. After I have it in my hands I put it on my bedside table and go back to my previous position. My breathing soon slows down and I find myself in a dream where everything seems happier, especially when I see a familiar mop of brown hair.
☯
Hey everyone! I know, I know, it's not our usual update day but here's the great news. WE'RE GOING TO HAVE DOUBLE UPDATES NOW!
Lacy and I are having our school holidays now so we decided to have two updates every week so we can speed up the process a bit. We're really eager for you guys to read the ending because we love it and hopefully you guys will too :)
I guess this will be all for this author's note so yeah, thanks for reading!
Leah xx
ps. do you guys know who the brown haired boy is? Leave you guesses in the comments because I'm curious what you all think :)