Earlier this morning, I had a meeting with my mom and her daughters regarding the family TV show. After much persuasion, I have agreed to participate in the show and I was able to make adjustments to the contracts. As expected I will be receiving a higher pay than my mothers daughters which I am happy about.
"I still can't believe that we are in our forties." Elgin chuckles as we walk down the streets of Beverly Hills.
Since the kids are off school, they are staying with their cousins for a few days in Malibu. We paid for all the expenses and we just want them to have a good time before they come back home. Khloe went with them so I know that they will have a good time and that she will take good care of them.
Since I'm planning to go back to work, having the kids away will be the perfect opportunity for me to really market myself.
"But we still look good." I tell Elgin as I slip my hand through his and he gives my hand a small squeeze.
"Hell yeah we do." But your beard doesn't, I think to myself.
"I've got a question for you." I look at Elgin and he pulls me to a stop. "How would you feel about getting married again?"
I sigh, "Elgin."
"Hear me out, this isn't a proposal." He cups my face. "In my heart, I know that we will last this time. You are the only person that I have ever loved and I don't see a life without you. This right here is a good place that we are in and I would be stupid to ever let you go again."
I say nothing as I just look at him.
"I love you Kimberly, I always have and I always will."
"I love you too." I mumble and he pecks my lips.
"After that dinner, I started to do some thinking." I look away for a moment. "Khloe asked about us moving in together and although I am happy with where we are. Would you ever consider us moving back in together?"
"Of course I would but I just don't want to go back to the fighting." I sigh as I take a seat on the bench. "I never had a problem living with you. The first time we got divorced, we still lived together while you were touring but we split up when we started getting into serious relationships. My issue with you was that you had a habit of blaming me for your failures and I didn't like that."
"I know."
"The house that I still live in was the very first home that we bought together. We put our money together to buy it because back in the day, it was one of the newer and more expensives homes but we hustled to get the money for it." I reminisce on our life. "Knowing that we did that together was a huge achievement. Then things changed. If your album didn't hit the top ten charts or if it flopped, you would smash up the house and call me out of my name."
"Kim." I put my hand up to stop him.
"I used to style high profiled celebrities, I was touring the world for styling but I gave up that career for the family. You was still able to tour around doing your music, you got to continue your passion but I gave mine up." I close my eyes for a moment. "The point is that I have had to sacrifice a lot more than you have had to. I've had to learn how to be a mother and father at a young age because you were always gone. It's not easy to have three kids by the age of... while your husband is touring the world."
Silence falls.
"For the first time since we had the kids, I have the opportunity to do me. I need to rebuild myself before I can fully let you in, Elgin." I sigh. "I'm not the same woman from before, I'm a woman who now wants to start living. I have the chance to be on my own TV show, build my by business and do whatever the fuck I want. I'm not about to allow anybody to take that from me."
Never again.
---
Flashback to 2002
I sigh as I put Marley down for a nap, his four year old self is so active and I honestly can't keep up. I may be twenty five years old but I also have a two year old and eight month old baby to care for.
Now that all of my kids are sleeping, I can finally take time for myself and lay down on the couch. These past few weeks have been extremely stressful and exhausting since I've been caring for my kids alone. My husband has been touring so I've been taking my children with me to work but it's too much.
I wipe away a lone tear that is making its way down my face as I stare at my wedding picture which is hanging behind the TV. I hear the door unlock and I don't bother to look in his direction as he makes his way into our home.
"The kids are sleeping." I shout before he can think to make noise.
I let out another sigh as Elgin makes his way into the living room. He makes a sound with his mouth as his face scrunches up in confusion as he enters the room.
Why are the beds and cots in here?" He asks as he takes a look at all of his children.
"Since you've been gone, we've been sleeping in the living room." I honestly answer. "I bought new beds but they were too heavy to lift so I set them up in here."
He looks at me in disbelief, "For two months?"
I shake my head, "For the past three weeks."
"Kim, you crazy as fuck." He shakes his head at me. "How can I be coming back from tour to find out that you have my children sleeping in the living room? What if there was a draft in here? They have bedrooms for a reason."
"Not for long." I pull out the eviction notice that I received a few days ago. "We're going to get evicted."
"Fuck." He snatches the paper out of my hands. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me?"
"Because you never listen to me." I hiss. "Anytime I want to talk, you jump on our own or somebody else's tour."
Over a year ago, Elgin lost both of his parents and he has not been the same since. It has been a lot harder to communicate with him and he honestly hasn't been the easiest person to be around. He finds his comfort in music so he wrote a song for his parents on his latest album, The Life. He then decided to go on a world tour before I even had the baby.
"I've been sending you money." He glares at me. "Where's the money? In fact, where is YOUR money?"
"Where the fuck do you think?" I pull him out of the living room. "I haven't been able to book as much jobs because it is not easy to travel with two toddlers and a newborn. The money that you give me, goes to your children that you have left me to raise alone."
I try to fight back tears.
"I have been so alone, Elgin." I cross my arms. "You made me move all the way to Atlanta when I'm from California. I don't have no friends or family here so I have nobody to help me with the kids. I ask for your help all the time but you always run away, leaving me with the kids."
"Come here." Elgin pulls me into a hug before pressing his lips against mine. I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him closer as he deepens the kiss.
We stay wrapped up in eachothers arms for a few minutes until we are interrupted by Kamilla who is standing at the door, rubbing her eyes.
"Mommy?" She opens her eyes and spots her father. "DADDY!"
I smile as she runs over to her father, he picks her up and he gives her the biggest hug which almost makes me cry. Elgin is missing out on his children's lives because of the life that he is choosing to live. I know that I will soon have to give up my styling career and it will hurt to close that chapter of my life.
"Daddy, are you coming to my birthday party?" Kamilla excitedly asks her father who smiles at her.
"You bet I will."
Two weeks later, we were evicted from the house and we were left with nowhere to go while Elgin toured Asia.