Pt. 1 of Eyes Mini-Series
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
Tick! Tock! Tick! Tock!
Your eyes were currently looking at the clock, the only sound around you was from there and how the rain was trickling down the windowpane. It was past 9 pm right now, and you wonder how long you will be waiting for him to show up.
The dinner that you prepared for him was long cold. He requested a lot of yakiniku for today. It was your third year anniversary with the said man. There's an upcoming match tomorrow, so you know there will be no rest for him and his team.
Since he became the V.League Division 1 player, he rarely had time for you. But that didn't stop you from surprising him at practice, bringing a lot of food for the whole team. Sometimes they will tease him about having you as his wife. Yes, wife.
He's such a child in the form of twenty-six years old guy, making them all wonder how someone as mature as you stuck with him. It's simple actually, because you love each other. Somehow you fall for his unique personality, and he fell for you because you actually want to know him, didn't even get annoyed with how he acted.
Even when they all knew that you are married to the ace, one of the members actually took a liking to you. Not just a mere flirt, and based on how the setter orbs see you, the whole team could understand that their teammates adore you, Bokuto Koutarou's wife. But you are loyal to your husband, and you have vowed that you will always be there with him forever.
The clinging of keys being turned waking you from your thought, you immediately stood and rushed to the door. By the time you see him taking off his shoes, all of your anger dissipated through thin air. There he was standing in all his glory, safe and sound with droplets of rain on his hair.
"I am sor-"
You jumped to him, didn't care about his wet clothes. His body goes rigid at your touch, not even relaxed a little, something that made you confused as your arms still wrapped around his figure.
"It's alright, Kou. It's alright to be late. The game is tomorrow after all." You were now standing in front of him, hands on his cheek to wiped away any trace of rain from his face, "As long as you came back to me safely, everything is alright for me."
Bokuto widened his eyes when he heard your words. It sounded sincere and full of love, he gulped down, not knowing what to say. Your hand glided down to help him took off his jacket, and he only stood there as you delicately ran your fingers on his strand of hair.
"You are really soaked," The worried tone on your voice was visible, "I will warm the dinner, you go take a warm shower, okay, baby?" You grabbed his jacket and shoes, going to put it in the laundry room to be cleaned after dinner. As you walked away, your eyebrows raised a little for the lack of footsteps.
You turned around and found your husband looking down at his bare feet. His fist clenched beside him, and there were tears dropped on the floor as he silently cried. Looking at the scene, you dropped everything on your hand and ran towards him.
As you stood in front of him, his body weakened and fell the ground. But before his figure could crash the wooden floor, you immediately became his pillow to fall and cradled him to your chest. He sobbed, hand clenching on your shirt.
"Baby, tell me what's wrong." You caressed his hair carefully, "Please, I want to help you, but I couldn't if you didn't tell me." From years knowing him since high school, you never saw him act like this, not even once. You knew his dejected and emo mode, but this is all new.
"N-no," Sorrow coated his voice, "If I tell you, y-you will leave me." He cried uncontrollably, and it pained you to see him cry.
"You don't know about that-"
"I KNOW ABOUT THAT!" He raised his voice and straightened his back as he sat in front of you, "I AM SURE YOU WILL LEAVE ME IF I TELL YOU! EVERYONE TOLD ME THAT!" You got taken aback by his outburst. Everyone? Does everyone know about his problem?
"You told a lot of people about your problem and not me, my owl?" You asked with curiosity, not even a hint of anger could be sensed. Bokuto didn't dare to look at your face right now, it's your third year as a Bokuto, and this is what happened, "Kou, I love you. What information could possibly make me leave you?"
He stiffened to hear you said that. You always so good to him, taking care of him and be patient with his antics. It's hard to have an athlete as a husband, but yet here you were for years loving him with all your heart could offer.
"You are not someone that would cheat, I know that." Your voice sounded sure, "I-It's true, right? You would never cheat on me right, Kou?" But the stutter in your voice showing him that you could feel insecurity too after all.
"No, I didn't cheat." He gulped and finally took a look at you. There's a satisfied smile on your face that caused by his answer, "T-There's no one in my heart, (Y/n)." You blinked, you were ready to joke out, Except, me~ but then his gaze fell to your eyes, and it's like you know what will he say, "Not even you."
His words send the air out of your lungs, and it was suddenly hard to breathe. You eyed him, searching for any sign of his teasing expression, but you found none. You waited for seconds, wanting him to blurt out the joke and laughing at your dumb expression.
It never came.
Except now, his hand on your shirt clenched tighter. He knew when the information completely went into your heart, you will be gone. You two never fought, not even once. Maybe a little quarrel here and there, but nothing too big because you were so understanding and he always felt guilty.
"I don't love you anymore, (Y/n)." He sobbed, "But I need you. I need you so bad."
Bokuto didn't even know when his love for you started to dissipate. Since he married you, he didn't care about spectators anymore. Knowing you standing there was enough, you were the only attention that he needed.
But then he started to act like he used to, grabbed everyone's attention as he played. It didn't go unnoticed by his teammates and best friend. At one point in his life, he knew his feelings for you were long gone.
"Since when?" There's no anger in your voice, not even sadness. He knew you always buried your emotions every time you feel devastated. And knowing him as the cause of you acting like this, he knew he would never forgive himself.
"I don't know," What he knew, was the time when his teammates were asking about you, and he didn't even get jealous. That and the fact that Bokuto didn't rush outside to meet you, and that time, the golden yellow-haired setter know immediately what's up.
"You what?!" Miya's hand was now grabbing Bokuto's collar, pushing him to one of the lockers,
"Atsumu-san! P-please calmed down." The orange-haired opposite hitter trying not to let his teammates fight each other, but the setter only focused on the wing spiker in front of him.
"Tell me once again, Bokuto. But now, look at me, so I know you are joking or not!" The ace didn't speak up, "For god sake, just answer-"
"I DIDN'T LOVE HER ANYMORE!" Bokuto shouted, feeling enough with the pressure from his setter, "Put me down." His golden eyes met his teammates, anger filled the eyes as he heard Bokuto's confession.
"You are sick." The setter pushed him down to the ground, grabbing his bag and walked to the door, "She will never leave you, you know that?" He turned one last time to see Hinata crouched down beside the dejected ace, "You just need to ask, and she will never leave you even if you tell her this." He opened up the door and let out a long sigh, "I hope you know what's better for her."
"You don't know?" You grabbed his hand, making him relaxed a little, "Does Keiji know about it?" Akaashi Keiji is your best friend and your classmates. He's the one who introduces you to the lively captain of Fukurodani's VBC at that time.
Bokuto Koutarou decision in his life was mostly from Akaashi. Your first date? Akaashi was the one who pushed him to do it. His confession? Akaashi was the one who dragged you to the gymnasium. The proposal? Akaashi helped him to search for a unique way to propose you.
Right now, Akaashi Keiji regretted everything.
"Hello?" Akaashi's voice was groggy when he picked up his phone, "Does something happened, Bokuto-san?" He yawned and sit, this is the first time he could have a decent sleep and Bokuto called him, "It's past ten pm, Bokuto-san. Where is (Y/n)?"
"Akaashi," Bokuto told everything about how he started to lose his feelings towards you. Your best friend was now fully awake, listening to the desperate voice of your husband, "What should I do?"
"You should tell her, Bokuto-san." That's the only thing that he needed to do, "And let her go."
"Akaashi knew. He, He is the one who told me to say it to you." Bokuto looked down to the floor, putting his hand on his face, ashamed, "You don't deserve this, (Y/n). I am such a child! I don't deserve you coping out with me for years!"
You love the man in front of you, but the fact that he didn't feel the same anymore hurt you badly. If only he cheated on you or do something terrible, it wouldn't hurt like this. Feelings are something that out of control. You couldn't blame him from falling out of love with you, and thats worse from being cheated on. Because either you or him, couldn't do anything to prevent that.
"Oh, Kou." It hurts you, but here you were still wrapping your arms around him, "It's alright, it's alright." It's not alright, and he knew it.
"HOW COULD YOU STILL ACT LIKE THIS?!" He screamed in the crook of your neck, "I hurt you, and I don't love you anymore... So why?"
"Because I still love you." You kissed his forehead, trying to calm him down, "Kou, it's alright if you don't love me again. It's alright." Your finger wipes all of the tears that were running down his cheek, "Do you want me to stay, Kou?"
"And, Bokuto-san." Akaashi's voice ringing from the other line, stopping him from hanging up, "You know she loves you and possibly will choose to be with you if you ask him, right? Even with this new... fact."
"Y-yeah, I know that."
"Then please, if she asked you. Don't hold her back." Bokuto wanted to shout at the top of his lungs, he wanted to be angry at Akaashi for telling him to let you free. He knew it's the best thing for you, but he couldn't do that.
"But I need her in my life, Akaashi! I couldn't ima-"
"STOP BEING SELFISH FOR ONCE, DAMN IT!" Your husband was now silent. His best friend rarely raised his voice, and he never cursed before, "Sorry for yelling, but please, Bokuto-san. Just this once, stop being selfish for her, just this once."
"N-no." He wanted to blurt out his plea and begging you to stay, imagine his life without you is something that never crossed his mind, "W-we should... We should get a divorce." He gulped down every wish on the back of his mind.
You understood him, and you know the things that he wanted—burying it down deep inside him. But you know it's best for both of you. He will feel guilty every time he looked at you, and you will regularly remember every syllable that came out from his lips tonight.
When he calmed down a little, you led him to the couch, turning on the fireplace and cover him with a blanket. He stared at the crackling fire in front of him, trying to absorb the heat. You walked upstairs with tears threatening to get spilt. But you held it, shaking your head and went to your shared bedroom.
The smell of his cologne attacked your nostrils immediately. With an incredible pace, you grab your bag and put some clothes there. The faster you could go from there, the quicker you could cry without hurting him in the process.
You finished your packing in ten minutes, putting your essentials on the other bag. When you walked to the door, you look at the shared bedroom one last time. You have been sleeping there for three years as Bokuto (Y/n). All the morning kisses and late-night making love wouldn't be repeated in your life ever again.
As you calmed down, you walked downstairs and found your husband at the end of the staircase. His eyes widened at the sight of you, wearing a long coat and ready to go. It's like you two would have a surprise date outside, but he knew better not to dwell on something that's not real.
"Hey," You took an easy step towards him, he still looks dumbfounded, "You should sleep, you know."
"W-where are you going to stay?" Just one more night, he wanted it to be with you once again, "Isn't it dangerous? It's so late."
"Kou, you know I could never leave if I just lay down beside you again." You patted his right cheek, "Just focus on your next match, okay? Tomorrow is the final, right?" He looked at you with grief engulfed his golden orbs, "Don't think too much about us. There's only you, or me."
You bit your lips, taking one last look of your husband, trying not to let the tears fall. His eyes pleading you to stay, and god you really want to stay and buried the fact that he didn't love you anymore. But you couldn't. It will torture him every day, and so are you.
"I will take care of the divorce paper. You just need to focus on your team, and you said one of the members being harsh to you, right? Who is it? Miya?" He nodded, it surprised him a little that you remember everything that slipped out from his lips, either it's essential or not, "I will take my leave now."
You closed your eyes and leaned in, kissing the right side of his lips. He held his breath as he felt your lips touching his one more time before you go. Even if it's not a kiss on the lips, tonight it felt so delicate like you pour the last amount of love.
He gulped as you take a step backwards, eyeing him with gaze still full of love, "Oh, and here, Kou." You take his hand and put your wedding ring on his palm, "I hope someday you will find someone that you will love until the end of time, and I hope they will love you as much as you love them."
And so, you walked towards the door. Ready to leave all of the memories that you spend on this house. All of the crazy breakfast, the burnt toast that he always made, the cuddle you shared at the couch, it will be imprinted on your memory as long as you love him.
When your feet reached the door, you turned your head to see him. You gave him a smile, reassuring smile. Both of you have been through everything together. You are there every time he lost and cry, and he was there when you have a bad day.
So you closed the door gently, letting go of all of those love when he was yours. He will be free without being afraid of hurting you every day. And you will be free, hoping that it will heal by time. Either it's by yourself, or someone else to help you.
The decision is all in your hand, just like tonight.
And from everything that you choose in your life, giving him back the ring that he promised to you precisely three years ago, is the hardest thing that you ever did.