Zoe wakes me up far too early, wearing a bright yellow camp T-shirt and a pair of denim dungarees. "Come on, we've got breakfast and then we're going to the hall to meet our kids!" she tells me excitedly. I cannot match her energy right now.
I pull myself up slowly and shuffle to the shower, washing all remnants of yesterday from me, and more importantly, from my hair. It feels strange to be going from master planners of a successful food fight to being responsible for little children. Yesterday we were so care-free. Today we have to act like grown-ups.
The unsettling feeling in my stomach returns at the thought of meeting the kids I have to care for over the next five weeks. I glanced over the folder Jen gave me, but there was nothing about my group; just the basic information about being a counsellor.
In the Great Mess Hall, I eat my bacon roll solemnly as the others laugh about something I wasn't listening to. The other new counsellors look just as panicked as I feel; it's nice to know I'm not the only one flipping out right now.
"Hey there, hell raisers, how was last night?" Jen asks as she stops at our table on the way to get her bacon roll. We stop chewing immediately and stare at one another, sure that she knows everything we did last night. "The disco?" Jen laughs. "So good you forgot?"
"Er, yeah, it wasn't that great. We didn't stay for long," I reply, picking at the roll on my plate. I don't feel good lying to Jen, but what she doesn't know can't hurt her.
"Oh no, that's rubbish." Jen smiles sympathetically and then turns to the rest of the room. "I want you all in the hall in five minutes, there are a few things I just want to go over again."
My stomach twists and turns as we make our way to the hall. What if I'm not good at this? What if I can't make a connection? What if I just don't like it?
Zoe leads me to the chairs under a big handwritten 6-8's Group sign where four other counsellors are already sitting. "Hey guys, this is Cassie, she's a first-year counsellor." She links her arm through mine. "Cass, this is Tabitha, Aisling, and Jonah, they're first years too. And this is Zack, he's a second-year like me." Zoe points to each in turn and they nod their heads.
The guys sit next to our section under a 9-12 Group sign and start chatting with the two other guys and two girls; one of whom shares Josh's mad brown curls and smile. I vaguely remember Robbie mentioning something about Josh's sister the other day. She must be a counsellor here too.
Under the 13-15's Group sign are four counsellors who look like they are in their early twenties. It makes sense, I doubt a group of teenagers is going to listen to a counsellor only a year or two older than them.
Opposite us, the room is full with rows of empty chairs, a walkway down the middle, waiting idly for the children and their families.
"Great, OK, I've finished your groups so this is a list of your children and the in-counsellor rotation. There is a potential for twenty in each group, but don't be surprised at the actual amount. More kids could join us throughout the summer, I still have adverts for places up," Jen pauses. I can see her trying to gather the strength to continue. "Also, there is a copy of the timetable on the back. During free time you can choose an activity for the group, or use it as downtime; I know some of you will have your own ideas. The timetable will start tomorrow for our first Group Competition. I suggest using today as time for the kids to settle and for you to bond," Jen explains as she hands us each a sheet of paper.
Camp Little Willow Group List
6-8's
Lily Daniels – 6
Noah Mitchell – 6
Kelsey Prince – 6 – Sibling Mikey - 9-12's
Alfie Manning – 7
Gabriella Owens – 7
Daisy Stevens – 7 – Sibling Annie - 6-8's
Benjy Adams – 8
Nellie Reagan – 8
Harry Little - 8
Annie Stevens – 8 – Sibling Daisy – 6-8's
There are 10 beds in each cabin and 1 bed for a counsellor. At least 1 counsellor must be in the cabin with the children each night. If you are not on rotation, you are free to do what you like, provided it does not hinder you for the next day.
There may also be occasions when you are asked to cover a cabin for another age group.
Girl's 6-8's Cabin Rotation
Night 1 – Zoe
Night 2 – Tabitha
Night 3 – Cassie
Night 4 – Aisling
Boy's 6-8's Cabin Rotation:
Night 1 – Zack
Night 2 – Jonah
Night 3 – Aiden (from 13-15's)
Night 4 – Robbie (from 9-12's)
I read the list over and over, trying to memorise the children's names, but they won't stick until I can put a face to them.
Even though there are only ten children in my group, it still scares me. It also makes me worry about the camp; we only have a half-full group, and I can only imagine the dent that makes in the amount of money the camp can make. What if there's no camp to come back to next year?
I make a vow to do the best I can for these kids this summer in the hopes that they tell all their friends when they go home. I guess it's all we can hope for.
"Don't worry, you're going to be great." Zoe nudges my arm.
"Thanks," I mumble, realising just how gloomy I must look. I sit up straighter and tell myself to smile; I don't want to scare the kids as soon as they get here.
"OK, if you have any queries about the rotations or anything else come and talk to me this afternoon. I'm going to open the doors now for the children, so big smiles." Jen clasps her hands together and gives us her biggest smile, before walking to the double doors at the back of the room.
A cool breeze filters in with the parents and children. Some of them look so tiny, some petrified, and some look around the room in awe as they tug their suitcases behind them.
Suddenly the reality of the next five weeks sinks in. I'm going to be these children's mum and dad combined, their friend. Am I in too deep? Should I have fought Mum harder on this? I mean, the only thing I have in common with these kids is that I used to be one.
The children and parents start to settle in and it dawns on me that most of them are alone, no brothers or sisters. There are two families that I can see with two children, that's it though. I guess I could try to be a sister to these kids, it's a lot less pressure than mum and dad, but I've never been a sister to anyone before.
I know what it's like to grow up alone, though. I know what it's like to want to have someone who will do your hair or will teach you dances, someone you can talk to who isn't a parent. So I'm just going to do my best to be whatever it is these kids need.
If Jen feels disheartened by the just over half-full room, she doesn't let it show as she launches into her welcome speech, "good morning, Campers! If you don't know me already, I'm Jen, and I'm super excited for you to spend the summer with us, whether it's your first, second or third. And I've got lots of excited counsellors who are going to be with you all summer too." Jen steps to one side and waves her arm towards us. "You might recognise some of these lovely people."
A few of the children beam and wave to Jen or a counsellor and I can't help but smile a little more.
"Parents, there are just a few things that I want to go over with you, so you'll stay here with me, while the counsellors take the children to their cabins and help them unpack. And when we're done we'll pop over to the cabins to say goodbye."
Jen moves behind our chairs and places a hand on mine and Zoe's shoulders. "Campers aged six, seven or eight, you are going to go with Jonah, Zack, Zoe, Cassie, Tabitha and Aisling to your cabins. If you need help with suitcases, pop your hand up and a counsellor will come and help you."
Three little hands go up as we stand. Some of the older children struggle with their suitcases but don't ask for help. I take a ladybird suitcase from a little girl with long brown braids and pink glasses who is sat in the aisle seat. The woman with her smiles a thank you to me as the girl jumps from her seat and grasps my hand. The boy beside the woman waves as we head to the door.
Zoe and Zack also have suitcases when we meet at the door. I count heads just to check and then we set off across the pathway to the area signposted as the Kids Camp. We walk through the large wooden posts that surround the campsite, like the ones at the front of the camp and all the other cabin areas.
Inside, there are six wooden cabins, three times as big as the ones in the counsellor's area. Along the front of each cabin is a different type of flower to add as much colour as possible to the area. At the other end is a play set including a wooden boat, a slide, swings and half tyres sticking out of the ground to climb on.
The little girl squeezes my hand as we walk towards their cabin. When I look down her head is moving from one thing to another in excitement. I feel a smile tug on my lips.
"It's great, huh?" I say softly.
She looks up at me in awe and grins. "It's super cool. Cooler than Mikey said it was."
Mikey. I remember it as one of the sibling names on the list. He must have been the boy who waved her goodbye in the hall.
We stop at the first cabin on the left-hand side of the area. There are ten sunflowers at the front, each one the same yellow as Zoe's T-shirt.
"OK, so this is our Kids Camp! And this is the girl's cabin." Zoe points to the one beside us. "The boy's cabin is over there." She points to the cabin opposite ours. "So boys, you're going with Zack and Jonah to unpack. Mum and dad, or whoever brought you, will come and say goodbye soon and then we'll start an activity."
Zack and Jonah lead the four boys towards their cabin, leaving us four with the six girls. God, the groups seem even smaller when you split them up like this.
"OK, girls, I'm Zoe! That's Cassie at the back with the wavy black hair." She points to me and smiles. The kids turn and look at me dubiously. "That's Aisling with the long blonde hair and Tabitha with the red plaits. We're your counsellors, let's go unpack!"
Zoe bounds up the four steps and the girls giggle as they jump up behind her. How Zoe manages to have so much energy, I'll never know. From the small porch at the top, we see Robbie leading his group into the campsite. He waves to us.
"Mikey!" the little girl with pink glasses calls, jumping up and down, waving. The boy who was with her earlier looks up and waves from the group.
Inside the cabin the girl's race to choose their beds, dropping their bags onto them or jumping on themselves. I can't help but laugh. So far they all seem pretty OK with the whole set up of camp, despite their young age.
There are five beds along each of the two long walls and one extra at the end of the room beside the door to the bathroom. Each of the kid's bed has a small wooden dresser at the end of it, like the ones in our cabin but half the size. At the end of the room, next to the counsellor's bed is a full bookshelf. Above it, are copies of our timetable and the counsellor's rotation list so the girls know what to expect each day and who will be here each night.
I push open the windows on either side of the door as I feel the heat in my cheeks grow. The cabins are normally quite good at staying cool, but I guess ten people give off a lot of heat, especially when half of them are jumping on the beds.
"OK, we can mess around later, but right now we need to unpack," Zoe says it firmly, but somehow still joyfully. She unzips the suitcase she wheeled in for one of the girls and shows them all how to fold their clothes to fit into their dressers.
I walk around the room helping the girls whenever they need me to. Most of them know how to fold their clothes already which is surprising, I definitely didn't know how to when I was their age. It doesn't take them as long as I thought it would to unpack either.
The door swings open as we push bags and suitcases under beds and the girls start to squeal. They run to their adults and it isn't long before the tears start, everything suddenly dawning on them. Two of the girls hug one side each of the same young-looking woman.
"Daisy and Annie," Zoe whispers to us. "Dad's not around. Mum is young and a full-time social worker. Both were here last year too, really lovely girls, but very headstrong, like Mum." I watch the girls as they talk to their mum, one of them throwing her arms up to help tell a story.
"How many of our kids do you know?" I ask.
"Six. I know all the older ones from last year, except Nellie, this is her first year." Zoe points to a little girl curled up on her bed with her mum, reading The Gruffalo. "They're a really lovely bunch of kids, there might be some testing times, but mostly they're well behaved."
Half an hour before lunchtime, Zoe picks out a book and calls storytime to distract the girls from their parents leaving. Kelsey, the little girl with pink glasses, is the first over, her mum left to see Mikey a little while ago, and she's been hanging around me since. The rest of the girls say a teary goodbye and trail to the counsellor bed. Zoe sits on the floor, legs crossed as she adds silly voices and actions to the story.
As I watch the girls laughing at the story, their favourite stuffed animals in their arms, I forget all the negative thoughts from this morning. I'm going to make sure these kids have the best damn summer ever.