Silas and Anita
•
Anita eyes were low and heavy but she still couldn't sleep. The beeping of the hospital monitor kept her awake. She looked at Silas wondering she could keep reliving this situation.
His white skin was paler than it had ever been. His wrist were wrapped and bandaged tightly. Cords and wires were connecting to his body. Sadly...the sight wasn't new to Anita.
At first, Anita fell in love with Silas believing that 'all he needed was her'.
She genuinely believed she was helping him heal with his mental illness. Seconds thought and doubts began flooding in her mind.
Did he really need me for the right reasons, though?
Was I just a gullible person he used a mother figure?
"Miss Waters?" Anita whipped her head up being pushed out of her thoughts. It was the doctor, "How are you doing?"
"I'm fine." The doctors question came in one ear and out of the other. Nita had bags under her eyes clearly getting no sleep, "W-what about Sil-....?"
"Silas is fine. What I am more worried about is you." The doctor lady said
"W...What?"
Nita had a confused look on her face blinded by love.
"Miss Waters." The doctor took a seat next to her with a concerned look. "You seem like a very promising young woman and Silas needs professional help. I get that you love him but... do you need him as much as he needs you?"
"But..." Anita felt the nurse grab her hand comfortingly. She stared into space letting the realization sink in. She gripped the nurses hands back feeling her face beat up. Hot tears began to fall from her face. "You're right.
"I used to think that Silas was my life. But now... it's feels like he's only making it crumble." She looked at his unconscious state, "I shouldn't be telling you this but I don't have anyone else to talk to."
She leaned on the nurses shoulder for support. Nita calmed down feeling the nurse rub her back soothingly. Her mind felt peace of mind for once.
"I get it, sweetheart." The nurse pulled away from the hug, "Deprivating yourself of sleep isn't going to make his situation any better. Go home and get some sleep"
•
Silas was put into a mental health facility and was finally getting the help he needed. He didn't know if he could handle being away from Anita this long .
Although, The pair being apart affected the two individuals differently.
Silas didn't know how long he could survive without Anita by his side. Days felt like weeks and weeks felt like months. He didn't have any more suicidal thoughts,but, his mind felt eerily blank now.
Anita felt like the days went too fast. All the new good things entering her life felt like a dream. Anita found a better paying job that she enjoyed. She discovered new people from her college, that she didn't notice before.
When Anita life got better and better she visited Silas less and less. Silas life felt like it was digging a deeper hole for itself as the months passed.
The questions lingered in his mind of if she had been forgetting him? Or if......she loved him anymore?
Today was a rainy day and Silas just watched the water droplets fall onto his window. He was crawled up in a ball in his pajama like clothing the recovery facility gave him.
"Silas." Silas was taken out of his daze by the soft voice of the elder nurse lady that visited him daily, " medication time!!" She said with a bright smile
"Did you hear about anything from Anita?" Silas said giving her puppy dog eyes
"Silas, you know I would have told you if she did. It brings me joy of how much you mood does a 360 when she comes." The nurse said giving him his medication and water
"She has been coming less and less." Silas downed the pills in his hands. He wiped the excess water off his mouth, "Do you think she is forgetting about me?"
"I doubt that. She has been with you through all of your worst moments. Why would she leave now that your healing?"
"Because I have been in and out of these places. Every time I leave , I promise her that I'll do better but always fuck shit up." He explained, "What if she has finally had it?"
"You did keep breaking promises." Silas looked away back at the window with a defeated expression, "Listen, all you can do now is show improvement. She probably feels like she couldn't give you the proper help you needed."
"It's sound like your describing my mother." The nurse cocked her eye brow up waiting for him realize he only proved her point further, "oh shit, she sounds like my mother." He cursed at himself
"Show her that you aren't just a burden but a supportive boyfriend."
"So, you think I'm a burden?"
"You said it, not me." She said making Silas chuckle quietly, "She usually comes around 10, so give it half an hour."
•
Silas had a big smile on his face as awaited Anita in the visiting area. He saw her approaching while smiling down at her phone. Silas looked at her weirdly as she sat down in front of her.
She finally acknowledged his presence smiling at her. Something about her smile felt weird to Silas. He didn't see the loving look in her eyes.
"Hi Silas." She said hurriedly
"Hi Anita." Silas said with the same tone
"I need to tell you something." They both said said unisons.
Their mouths dropped surprised by each other's impatient tone. Although they said the same phrase the emotions behind were the opposite. Anita said it in serious tone while Silas, usually blank faced, Silas said it in a bubbly tone.
"You...You go first." Anita insisted
"Okay," Silas said growing back his smile, " I began to realize how much I burden you. Our relationship feels like a worried mother and disobedient son, rather than boyfriend and girlfriend. Your a thriving college student and i'm an immature mentally unstable adult child." he explained. "Basically, I'm sorry and I'm committed to changing for you."
"I'm glad you feel that way.....which leads me to what I was about to say." She held his hands with a sad smile on her face. "I met a guy...."
She was waiting to see Silas's reaction. Her eyes brightened up a bit when she said 'guy'. Her eyes only used to do that when she looked at Silas.
Silas's smile slowly dropped realizing what she was getting at. He quickly unclasped his hands from hers feeling his heart physically clenched.
"Are you serious, right now?" He said. His tone clearly was upset but she could see the pain in his face.
"Silas, please don't make a scene" She said quietly holding his arm, "I love you but, I just feel like I can't keep up with you anymore." She said softly
"If you loved me, you wouldn't be doing this to me right now." He said feeling a his eyes well up.
"Silas, think of this as a good thing." She spoke softly
"What the fuck is so damn good this? How is losing losing the love of my life good?!!!" He raised his voice attracting attention
"Silas, please calm down." She said noticing how riled up he was getting
"THE PERSON I WOULD TAKE A BULLET FOR LEAVING ME!!!" He screamed out loud causing everyone to look in there direction
"LET me finish my statement!!!" She raised her voice at him.
She rarely yelled at him especially with pure anger coating it. He sat down in surprise waiting to hear what she had to say.
"Silas you aren't, and never were, emotionally available for a relationship. I appreciate you realizing the fault in your actions now, but, your too goddamn late." Her angry eyes glossed over struggling to let him go. "This hurts me just as much as it hurts you.
"I have constantly put up with your accidents and let you burden me with your issues. After every accident I had this paining guilt. That guilt made me comeback to you every time. What we had was toxic and I won't put my self through that again." She continued her rant.
"Your right."Silas bit his lip trying to hold back his tears. He said making her eyes go wide in surprise. She never thought he would admit it so easily, "But can you please promise me one thing?"
"What is it, Silas?" She smiled feeling that she was coming to a compromise with him.
"If....If I ever do heal and you and this guy break up. Will you give me another chance?" He asked. He looked up at her with hope in his eyes. She smiled looking down thinking about it.
".....Yeah, yeah I will." She said. Her phone made a ding noise grabbing both of their attention, "That's probably him.....I-I should go now." She said getting up
"Wait," he grabbed her hand stopping her, "will you comeback?" He asked
"Yeah but it's going to have to stop at some point." She smiled
"I know, just let me enjoy it while it's still on the table." He let go of her, " Bye, Anita ."
"Bye Silas." She said
•
I can't fucking find the girl in the picture social media so I just have to use the same one.😖😖😖
That really just put in sad nigga hours type beat. But it had to be said they was toxic, and that's on Shakira.
Anyways, so.....
Bye, melanin mochi's😘
P.S. please comment