Chapter 12
When he came back well after dark that night, I had nearly worn a rut into Micah's bedroom floor. I ran out to go to him, but pulled up short as my father's car pulled in behind him. As I watched my parents get out and begin walking toward Colin, I panicked. I called for Micah, who came running out of the house, looking ready for anything.
I became even more confused when my parents began following Colin toward me, instead of the violence I'd been half expecting. They actually looked almost happy. Moreover, my mother looked so happy that she was on the verge of tears. My father looked like he was determined to endure whatever was coming with grace and a bit of dignity. When Colin stepped in front of me, he kissed me gently before he reached into his pocket.
He dropped to one knee, holding up a tiny black box with gold trim. I suddenly understood why my mother had been nearly in tears, and my own eyes began to water as I suddenly understood what was going on. He smiled up at me as he opened the box, presenting a beautiful engagement ring for my inspection.
Twelve sparkling diamonds surrounded by a huge, brilliantly green emerald. I did begin to cry. I was shocked by all of this, but in that moment I felt so amazed that he'd remembered my birthstone. I was standing there silently weeping to myself for a long moment before he said anything.
“So what do you say, Tabs? Tomorrow work for you?” Colin asked, and I felt weak as the meaning of his second question dawned on me. I could only nod in response. The dam holding back my tears finally broke, and I became nearly hysterical as he gathered me into a tight hug. My parents congratulated us, and I was suddenly curious to know why my parents were just alright with this. When I asked, Colin just told me that he'd explain later.
As it turned out, he'd told them that it was the only sure way to save either of our reputations, but I really just couldn't see how us getting married could possibly do that. But I trusted Colin, and I was so happy, I didn't care about the specifics of anything. I was floating way beyond cloud nine at that moment.
The next morning, he was gone when I woke up. He'd left a note for me on the pillow he'd been laying on. It simply said, “Go talk to Nann. I'll be waiting for you. Noon.”
I looked at the clock beside the bed, and flew out of bed when I saw that it was nearly ten in the morning. I wasn't sure about anything that was going on, so I walked down the hallway to the den, where my mother and Colin's second eldest sister, Emily, were both sitting with Nann. The entire house was filled with the scent of different foods. They were fussing over a very old dress of floor length ivory lace. As soon as they looked up and noticed that I'd walked into the room, I was bombarded by the three of them.
For the next hour and a half, I was prodded, plucked, pulled, preened, and polished. I felt like I was being trussed up like a Christmas turkey, but I knew the result had to be worth all the trouble. I felt like a fairytale princess as I was fitted into the corseted top of the dress, the skirt of the dress trailing the floor just a bit. Emily produced a pair of ivory sandals that matched the dress perfectly, and I nearly ruined my makeup.
“I hope you don't mind, but I'm your maid of honor.” Emily whispered, her own smile reflecting my happiness. She looked beautiful in a shimmering champagne colored sundress, her long warm blonde hair flowing down her back.
“I'd be. . . Well, I'd be honored. Why are you guys doing all of this?” I had to ask.
“Because, love like this comes around once in a lifetime, if you're lucky. And I'm not going to sit back and watch my little brother miss out on his chance at true happiness. When he called me yesterday, I was so happy for the both of you. Our mother will come around to the idea, but it's going to take her a while. He is her baby, after all. And when mom gets over this, Marie will probably get over herself.”
I smiled at her, the guilt that I was the reason his mother and eldest sister wouldn't be there clouding over my happiness. Emily could see it and thought of the best way to distract me. She pulled me in front of the mirror in Micah's room, and I didn't recognize the woman standing in front of Emily.
Chestnut hued curls spilled from a beautiful tiara of porcelain roses. Bronze eye shadow set off gray blue eyes over rosy cheeks and coral lips. Nann's ivory wedding gown fit me so perfectly, it almost seemed that it had been custom made for me. I had to touch the mirror, then myself, just to make sure that it was real.
At ten minutes to noon, I became frantic, wondering where we were supposed to go from here, but none of the women seemed to be in much of a rush. My father stepped in through the sliding glass door almost five minutes later, and I began to cry when I saw him standing in Micah's bedroom door, wiping his misty eyes.
“Daddy, I love you.” I said, running to my father's arms just like I'd done so many times in my life, and we both stood there weeping for a moment before he grabbed my hand, squeezing lightly before he led me down the hallway, Nann snapping pictures the entire way.
When we stepped out into the back yard, I didn't even recognize it. Flowers of every size shape and color littered the entire perimeter, and a white canopy had been placed in the middle of the yard, ribbons streaming from each post. My father led me through the yard toward Micah, who stood watching, and Colin, who stood with his back to me. There was an elderly gentleman holding a bible standing in front of him.
My father presented my hand to Colin when we reached him. I giggled a bit as Colin took in a sharp breath when he looked at me. My father pressed my hand into Colin's, and then clapped him on the back. Before stepping back to stand with my mother, he joked, “No refunds.”
I rolled my eyes at my father, but Colin just laughed and nodded. The preacher took us through a very simplistic ceremony, walking each of us through traditional vows. By the time we were told to kiss, I truly thought that I must have died at some point, because none of this was even possible. His lips touching mine reaffirmed that this was all too real. We were then presented as Mr. and Mrs. Colin Mathew Seaver, and I felt completely overwhelmed by the entire moment.
We spent the rest of the afternoon dancing, eating, and just having a wonderful time. Just before sunset, Micah came up to us and told Colin that his car was ready. Colin groaned a bit, knowing what had happened to his brand new Lexus. I wanted to see it, but I didn't want to leave yet. It took almost another hour before I was pulled into the house to change.
When we stepped out front, I was curious to know where we were going, and burst out laughing when I saw his car. He didn't look quite as happy when he saw it. Cans and shoes were strung to the back of the car with white ribbons, “Just Married” was written in looping scrawl on the rear windshield, bells and hearts drawn on the sides of the windows.
Rice was thrown on us from everyone that was there, and when we got into the car, I blushed and he cursed under his breath. The entire inside of the car was filled with packs of condoms, tubes of lubricant, and boxes of pregnancy tests. On the dashboard was a card, signed by everyone, but under Micah's signature, he'd written in his own little note.
“Have fun. As you can see, I got you both covered.”
Colin rolled his eyes, throwing the car into drive. I waved back at my parents as we drove off, blowing kisses from the passenger window to everyone that I loved. When I sat back in my seat, everyone lost in the distance, I asked where we were going.
“You'll see. It's a surprise.” Colin laughed. He got onto the interstate, heading toward Austin, and I became confused. We left the city limits and I began to feel a bit giddy. We talked a bit, and held hands for over an hour as he drove.
He finally pulled up to a huge stone building that almost resembled a castle. He pulled up to the front doors, and a valet in a tuxedo opened the door for me almost instantly, welcoming me to “The Haven”, and I couldn't believe that I was standing amid this kind of luxury and opulence.
We walked into a lobby filled with red and gold carpets and drapes of crimson velvet. Every corner of the front room was filled with fresh cut red roses, and there was a grand staircase dominating the center of the room, a giant crystal chandelier hanging overhead. There was a long counter to the left, where Colin checked in and received a key card for our room. We were led up the staircase by the bell hop that was carrying our bags toward a bank of elevators.
We walked down a long corridor on the seventh floor, and Colin pulled me back a step so that I couldn't see the room as the young man with our luggage went in and laid our things beside the door. Colin shook his hand, and I noticed that a hundred dollar bill passed from Colin's palm to the bell hop, and then the boy discreetly walked away, leaving us alone and the door to our room open.
I was literally swept off of my feet as Colin picked me up, carrying me through the threshold of the door. I was stunned to see that our room had been filled with red roses and white candles, and there was a cart with chilled champagne and strawberries next to the bed. I had to take a moment before I could even breathe.
“You like it?”Colin asked, his arms wrapping around me as I stood there staring. As he stood behind me, I could feel his hot breath on the side of my neck an instant before he pulled the straps of my dress down and kissed my right shoulder. I loved him more in that moment than I ever had before, and could only nod in response.
I was standing there completely naked by the time I broke out of my own thoughts. He pulled me to the bed, playfully nipping my bottom lip as he leaned over me. I was in a state of pure bliss, and that night he very nearly made me forget every night that we'd ever had before that moment.
We spent an entire week in that bed, and I loved every minute of it. We drove back to Waco long enough for me to pack and say goodbye to everyone, then we were on a plane to Los Angeles. When we touched down, there was a car waiting for us, which drove us to a quiet neighborhood on the hill covered outskirts of town.
He tugged me into a beautiful but new house that was sparsely furnished, but it was still comfortable. As soon as he pulled the bags inside, I began wandering through the house, convinced that there was no way this was his house.
“Welcome home, babe.”Colin whispered in my ear when he found me in the master bedroom. I turned to face him, and I threw my arms around him so tightly that I think I was actually choking him for a moment. He led me over to the bed, and as he was taking off his shirt, the phone rang.
“Two seconds. Hello?”Colin turned from me as he answered the phone, his entire demeanor changing drastically as he walked out of the room. I couldn't stop myself from going to the doorway, trying to hear his voice.
“I told you I was going home. And I didn't think it would be, but it just happened. Yeah, I'm very serious about this. Look Heather, this is over, we're done, I'm happy, you will be. Goodbye, Heather. I'm hanging up now. Goodbye.”
When he walked back into the room, he looked angry, yet relieved. I tried to keep myself from asking, but I just couldn't help it.
“Who's Heather?” I asked quietly, my heart feeling as though it were on the verge of breaking. I almost didn't want to hear what he had to say. When he ran a hand through his hair and sat down on the bed, I knew I didn't want to hear his answer.
“She's um. . . She's my ex. Now.”
“What do you mean, 'now'?” I asked, my anger suddenly overwhelming anything else. He gave me the most helpless look I've ever seen on him. He took a heavy breath, then stood to hug me. I placed a halting hand on his chest, pushing him away. He looked mildly heartbroken as he looked down at my hand.
“Babe, you've gotta understand, I didn't know what was going to happen when I got back to Texas. I was planning on coming to talk to you while I was there, but I had no idea that it was going to be all this. I never really took the time to tell Heather that it was off, but she definitely knows now.”
I was beyond outraged. I walked away, my head in my hands, and he followed me through the house. He grabbed me from behind and forced me into a hug, another restraining embrace that made me want to get away from him.
“Hey, hey, hey. You got the ring, that's a lot more than she ever got. You're not the other woman, either. So stop thinking that. You're my only woman, babe. I love you.”
“Yeah. Now!” I screamed at him, not caring how it may hurt him. He let out an exasperated sigh, but refused to let me go. I felt like we were back on the lake again. He kissed the back of my hair, and I wanted to ram my head into his teeth, but of course, I didn't.
“Baby, don't do this! Alright! Yes,” Colin finally let me go, his own anger allowing him to do so. He ran a hand through his hair and put his thumbs through his belt loops, a classic sign that Colin was reaching his boiling point.
And at that point I care how angry he was. He took another deep breath before continuing, “I screwed up really bad. I get that. But I really didn't think about her for even one second that I was with you. I actually kinda forgot about her until just now, so don't look at me like that. She obviously didn't mean anything to me!”
“But you-” I couldn't find the words. He'd completely taken the wind out of my sails with his rant. I didn't want his apology! Not yet! It made me even angrier that he wasn't denying anything. I screamed in sheer frustration and stormed back to the bedroom again.
“Babe, how long are you gonna be mad about this? Really, I mean. Come on.”
“You're a damn jerk! And I'll let you know!” I screamed, slamming the door to his bedroom in his face, turning the lock before he could come in. I heard him curse as he tried the doorknob. He slapped his hand against the door, making the painting hanging on the wall shake. I yelled at the door for him to go away, and he kicked the door in response.
“Tabitha! Look, baby. I'm really sorry. I really didn't remember her!” Colin yelled through the door at me. I wanted to hate him for this, but he really sounded pathetically distraught. And the fact that I could make him completely forget his girlfriend did actually make me feel just a bit better. But I still couldn't just forgive him for something like this. I had to make him suffer brutally for a mistake this epic, so I ignored him and turned out the lights.
I forced myself to go to bed, and then realized that it was possible that he'd slept with her on that bed, so I moved to the floor to go to sleep. I could see his shadow under the door, and was surprised that he never left the hallway.
When I woke up the next morning, I was nowhere near as angry as I had been the night before, but I was still pretty pissed. All of that dissolved when I opened the door to find him curled up against the door frame, in a deep sleep. I actually felt bad for kicking him out of his own room, so I woke him up, hoping he'd be tired enough to just go lay down and leave me alone. I was wrong.
His eyes shot open as soon as I touched him, and he pulled me down into the hallway with him, rolling over to pin me in a single motion. I was stunned at how agile he could be upon waking, and was feeling myself get angry again, because he looked more than ready for a fight.
“Still mad at me?”Colin asked, his face betraying a humor that I couldn't be completely certain was even there. I wasn't sure what to make of this mood he was in, but it scared me and thrilled me all at once. I nodded before whispering, “A bit.”
“Too bad.” Colin stated. He picked me up and flung me over his shoulder, stalking into his bedroom, leaving the door open. He threw me onto the bed without ceremony and began stripping my clothes off, no gentle playing or teasing. Just sheer brute force. And that vicious part of me suddenly loved him again. We didn't speak, we didn't even kiss. It was the absolute angriest love we'd ever made, and I loved it.
“Did you do anything like that with her in this bed?” I asked afterward, still feeling spiteful. He smiled at me as he shook his head.
“I never even told her where I live.”
And after that, I couldn't be angry with him anymore, no matter how hard I tried. And believe me, I tried. It took several months, but life returned to normal, and his acting career actually got better because of our exploits. By the time his twenty-first birthday came, he was acting in four different films, with another eight lined up for the following year.
But with the acting, there were the inevitable parties, most of which I stayed home from, and then the nights ending later and later. By the following March, Colin was coming home drunk every night of the week, and never before three in the morning.
I was frustrated, but I did what I had to do. I cared for him when he was sick or hungover; I answered the calls from his ever angrier publicist. I changed his clothes for him when he'd vomit all over himself; I even dragged him in from the front porch a few times.
Finally the night came when I could no longer take it. I had planned a special dinner for him, begged him to be home before midnight, and yet he didn't come home until nearly sunrise the following morning, stumbling through the front door.
“Hey, babe. Why you out in here? Should be in bed, wishyer fine ass.” Colin stammered and slurred every word that came out of his mouth. I woke up fully, still seated at the dining room table, where I had been since nine the night before.
“Waiting for you!” I yelled, throwing him off guard. He staggered to the table, noticing the untouched meal for the first time. He laughed under his breath, and I kicked my chair out from under me, stomping toward our room.
“Oh, no. Babe, I forgot! No. I got held up, I couldn't get away from there.” Colin lied. A moment later he was yelling for me, but his feet didn't seem to want to follow after me. When he managed to come into the room, I was crying on the edge of the bed.
“Baby, don't cry. I love you, stop it.” Colin sounded more aggravated than sorry, and I had never felt so tired. I was just tired of this mess that had once been a beautiful relationship. He stroked my hair, then went completely still. He fell to his knees beside the bed, throwing up right on the carpet. I had to run to the bathroom, the smell of vodka making me gag instantly. I knew that I couldn't do this anymore.
Several minutes later, I had made him a cup of coffee and led him to the bathtub. I sat on the counter as he bathed, stopping him as he fell asleep twice while he sat in the water. When I got him back out, we began to argue about his drinking. I told him that he needed to go to rehab, and he flew at me in a drunken rage.
Colin slapped me hard enough to make me hit the floor, tasting blood in my mouth. He instantly sobered up, looking as though he were the one that had been struck. He tried to hug me, but he'd finally crossed the worst line he ever could. I ducked under him and ran to our room, locking him out as I packed my bags. I was halfway through the task when I felt a pain in my abdomen and a sticky warmth in my underwear. When I went to investigate, I discovered that I'd begun to bleed, and I completely broke down.
He actually managed to bust through the door, breaking the frame and the hinges that it sat on. He panicked when he discovered me lying on the bathroom floor, sobbing my heart out. I felt him pull me up to a sitting position, and I heard him suck in a tense breath as he looked at my face. He tried kissing the hand print he'd left, but I jerked away, my heart feeling shattered at that moment.
“Baby, I'm sorry. I never meant. . . I'd never do this, you know that-”
“But you did. And I can't do this anymore. You need serious help, Colin.” I said, my voice completely devoid of emotion. I truly felt dead inside. I finished packing as he begged me not to, then placed my ring on his nightstand before walking toward the front door.
I was furious to see that the cab I'd called still wasn't there, so I was forced to stand on the front porch, watching him cry as he begged me to stay. When the cab pulled up a few minutes later, I walked up and threw my bags into the waiting trunk, then walked back to Colin, because I had one last thing to tell him.
“That dinner I planned last night? It was so I could tell you that I was pregnant. But I'm having a miscarriage right now, so you don't have anything to worry about. Get help, Colin. You really need it.”
I turned and left, not allowing myself to cry until I was safely locked in the bathroom on the plane back to Texas. I filed for divorce and shredded every credit card he'd given me as soon as I got home. Then in my determination to get over him, I threw myself into finding a college to attend.