I follow SueEllen out of the makeshift coat room because I know that if I take her offer of giving me time, I'll have stooped down to a new low. I need to face my past and my future at the same time, together. If I can't do that, then all of the morals and beliefs instilled in me from the beginning as a child will mean nothing to me. I need to stop running.
Although it hurt and was a sucker punch, SueEllen's words hit every nail on the head. If I didn't know it before, I certainly know it now.
Brooke, my father, and Johnny are exactly where SueEllen said they'd be, in the kitchen, laughing together at something Dad said. Probably about some embarrassing childhood memory of mine.
"I'm back," I say, coming up to stand beside my father on his side of the island, facing Brooke.
"How was your talk? You were only in there for a few minutes," Brooke questions.
"Fine." The lie comes out easily as I put on a tight smile. I'm certainly not going to get into what happened with Brooke, or with anybody. It's between SueEllen and me only.
Brooke accepts the facade without further questioning and gestures to Travis. "He was just telling me about how you fell out of a tree. Is that why you're so against heights now?" she snickers.
I roll my eyes and shrug and shoot a pointed look at my father. "Really? It's not because I'm too scared to climb down my high horse that I happen to be on all the damn time?"
He shrugs lightheartedly with amusement twinkling in his eyes, waving a hand in the air as he talks. "That's true. I do say that."
"I know you do," I mutter. I look to Brooke, who's enjoyment of seeing the banter between my father and me is clearly obvious. "Let's go meet everyone. We still have some time before dinner."
"Okay," she agrees. When my father doesn't move, she tosses a look back at him and asks, "Aren't you coming?"
"Nah," he dismisses, "I'm here to make sure nothing burns and that no one messes with the birthday cake."
Brooke giggles and nods. She reaches for my hand and squeezes it.
I look down at our joined hands and shrug off my conflicting emotions.
"Let's go," I say, and I tug her into the living room where most of the commotion is happening after gathering our two presents.
We walk in the room, and I bend down to unclip Johnny's leash, and he instantly bounds into the fray, effectively gathering attention from everyone else.
"Colt!" Tommy yells, and he leaps over the couch to me, crushing me into a hug, making me drop the presents. "God, it's great to see you!" He pulls away, and I don't even get a word in before he sees Brooke, who is visibly shying away from the sudden attention. "You must be Brooke. I'm Tommy Turner. I hear you've already met SueEllen. I hope she didn't scare you away because she can be a real bi—meany," he jokes loudly, earning a throw pillow aimed for his head courtesy of SueEllen.
Brooke's eyes widen in shock at the action, but Tommy doesn't even flinch from it as it bounces off his side.
"See what I mean? And I have to live with that!" he cajoles, and Brooke covers her mouth with her hand to hide her amused smile. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Colt's told us all about you," he continues.
"It's great to finally meet you as well. Colt's told me about all of you, and I'm ecstatic to finally put some faces to names that aren't just from photographs," she responds, looking at not only Tommy, but all of the faces in the crowd in front of us.
"See," SueEllen quips, "Smooth talker."
"Well you two have a seat, and we'll get some proper introductions going," Tommy advises, and I gesture for Brooke to go first in a 'ladies first' manner. Tommy follows her, but I tug on his bicep so he faces me.
"It's awesome to see you too," I tell him earnestly
His eyes crinkle as a smile breaks out, lighting up his face.
We nod at each other in respect, and he reaches around to clap my shoulder.
"I missed you, buddy."
"Will you two just sit down and save the sappy reunion for a spare room?" June cuts in sardonically.
Tommy and I burst into laughter before looking back at each other.
"I'll reserve the hotel room for tonight after the party," I joke.
"And I'll bring the chocolate and whipped cream," Tommy giggles in a high-pitched tone. "Babe!" He turns and looks at SueEllen, who's sighing with her palm pressed against her forehead as she looks at us mockingly.
"Yes dear?"
"I'm sorry, but I'm busy tonight. Don't wait up for me." He winks at June and grins creepily at her, pulling me close. I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively at her as I wrap an arm around Tommy's waist. "Thanks for the idea, June."
"Don't leave me out!" Wes exclaims, striding over to us and throwing his arms around our shoulders. "It's going to be a fun night, eh boys?" he hollers, and he claps our shoulders.
"Bobby, you in?" Carrie Ann asks him through a fit of laughter.
Bobby looks at us with his eyebrows furrowed and his face pinched in, like he just smelled something really bad. "I think I'm going to have to sit this one out."
"Mommy?" Carson asks, tugging at June's shirt. "What's Daddy and Uncle Tommy and Colt talking about? They have chocolate?"
Everyone ends up in stitches at Carson's innocence, and Tommy breaks away from Wes and me and picks up little Carson, perching him on his waist.
"Don't you worry, lil' whippersnapper. You'll find out soon enough," he laughs.
I wipe my eyes of the tears from all of my laughing and nod.
It's so easy to forget all of the conflicts and hardships when you're surrounded by such good people.
Wes leaves, chuckling under his breath, to sit with June on the other couch, and I hold up the two presents that Brooke and I brought.
"Where should I put these?" I ask Carrie Ann through some residual laughter.
"Just set them down anywhere. At this point, it's just straight up chaos so we'll grab them later."
I nod and sit down next to Brooke, who scoots over closer to me and wraps an arm around my bicep. With my free hand, I gesture to my family. I point them out to her, and everyone waves or greets her back.
"You're beautiful!"
"Colt's told us so much about you."
"We're so glad to finally be able to meet Colt's girl."
Just like I knew they would, they accept her with such grace and hospitality.
The kids all take the liberty of introducing themselves to her, too, and Lizzie sticks to Brooke like glue.
"Where are your parents, Carrie Ann?" I ask her, noticing that Mr. and Mrs. Bradbury aren't here to celebrate their granddaughter turning five.
I watch as Carrie Ann tenses in her chair.
"With Beau in Ireland," she answers curtly, and I don't press the subject. Although we weren't all that close, I knew she had family issues. Her parents always favored Beau growing up, and it shouldn't surprise me that they aren't here.
I'll also be the first one to admit that I'm pleased that Beau isn't going to show up, either.
Bobby rubs her back and runs his other hand over her wrist.
"It's okay though because Liz still got her presents, huh, babygirl?" Bobby interjects.
Lizzie and Carrie Ann both nod, Liz more happily than Carrie Ann.
"Are your parents coming up, Bobby?"
Bobby's parents moved to Miami, Florida a few years back, though I'm not quite sure as to why, but Bobby never went into detail about it so I never asked.
"Yeah. They'll be here in about an hour."
The topic changed and everyone was interested in Brooke. Where she grew up, how we met, what she's doing, why she wants to be a children's doctor, "why are you still with this joker?" from Tommy, and a bunch of other questions.
Brooke handles them all mostly by herself, and Johnny comes into the conversation more than a couple of times as everyone dotes on him. He's sitting on the floor with his head in my lap as I massage his ears absentmindedly.
I know we're just waiting on Josie and James to get back before we eat, and with every minute that passes, the more anxious I get about it. Dad shoots me a few curious glances, but I dismiss him, and I know SueEllen and Tommy see right through my facade. Brooke babbles on though, and any question regarding her family is steered toward some other topic.
Every time the front door opens and someone walks in, my head shoots up in anticipation to see who it is, but so far, it's only been Lizzie's little kid friends and their parents dropping them off. Even Bobby's parents get here before they do, and they greet me excitedly and welcome Brooke like everyone else.
I don't know why they're taking so long. It's not like it takes an hour to drive down to the gas station to get ice and then come back.
I don't know if it's the sheer suspense of the damn thing or if I'm just getting anxious but every minute passing heightens my unease, try as I might to get my brain to calm the fuck down.
When they do walk in, I don't even notice.
"Josie, took you long enough," my father grumbles, "I'm hungry as hell."
"Hey everybody, I'm sorry. The place was out of ice, so we had to go to the one in Marion and then drive all the way back."
My neck snaps as I whip my head around to face her, and she just... stuns me by how well she looks.
Radiant.
She looks radiant. SueEllen was right. She looks happier. So much fucking happier. It makes my heart swell because I'm happy that she's happy.
Her skin is glowing and her hair is so shiny. Her eyes have this warm life to them that I hadn't even seen a few months ago.
I'm on my feet before I even know what the hell I'm doing, and I watch her recoil in shock at my abrupt movements.
"Oh!" she gasps, eyes sweeping over my frame, "Colt! I didn't see you there. You gave me a heart attack."
Our eyes lock onto each other and my first instinct is to tell her how amazing her she looks, but reality drops me on my ass when I hear the front door open and close. Josie snaps out of it and her eyes flutter to the rest of the room.
"That'll be James with the ice," she explains.
Why aren't you saying anything you creep?! Say something!
But I can't. I don't even know where to start.
An apology, maybe.
What the fuck?
I shake my head, blinking, trying to get out of my head.
"You must be Brooke," Josie continues, "I'm Josie, and I hear you've already met James." She sticks out her hand over the top of the couch for Brooke to take, which she takes gingerly after twisting around to do so, but not after a long, scrutinizing stare my way.
Then James comes up behind Josie with three bags of ice in tow.
"Hey guys," he greets with his stupid peppy self. "Should I put these in the downstairs freezer, Bobby?"
"Ooh somebody get me some popcorn and call MTV because this is going to be great."
That snaps me out of it and I send a glare to my father.
"Aren't you supposed to be on cake duty?" I accuse, suddenly out of breath. When did my palms get so sweaty?
"I'm on break," he shoots back.
I run a hand down my face and sit back down.
"I think it's time for dinner," June chimes in, leaning forward.
"I think you're right," Brooke affirms.
-
The food was amazing, even if I was just stress eating, but my point still stands. June and Carrie Ann really made a fine meal of southern goulash with homemade cornbread and fried corn. I must have helped myself to four servings of each dish.
The nine children here all ate at a smaller kids table that was set up in the corner of the dining room while the adults sat around the dining table, except for Alan. He sat on his mother's lap and ate with her.
It was awkward as hell. Normally I was fine with having the attention on me. I used to thrive on it, but with Josie's burning gaze on me as I answered questions from everyone but her and James, I wanted nothing more than to sink in my chair and let someone else do the talking. Brooke had her fair share of questions with answers to give, but she was currently talking to June about her bookstore. In other words, I was on my own.
Nobody had talked about the upcoming wedding, and I was secretly grateful.
Something about discussing wedding plans with my ex-wife sitting right there just didn't sit well with me.
Bobby finally interrupted the steady interrogation when he brought out the cake, and we all gathered around Lizzie at the kids' table to sing happy birthday.
When we sliced the cake and began to eat it, I noticed Josie watching Johnny as he played with children and sniffed around the house, looking for scraps to eat. I couldn't quite place the emotion she was exuding, but it piqued my curiosity.
He starts to whine and sneeze, telling me he has to go to the bathroom, and I gladly excuse myself from the table and clip his leash to his collar. I take him out to the front and see the sun has already gone down and the streetlights have come on.
I let Johnny take his sweet time, letting him sniff around and read the "doggy newspaper," as Josie used to call it with her Johnny.
I hear someone walk down the porch steps, and I turn around to see Tommy approaching me.
"Hey," I call out, turning back to Johnny.
"Everything okay? You couldn't get out of there fast enough," he says quietly when he comes to stand next to me.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just needed a breather. What do you think of Brooke?"
"She's very polite and nice. She seems like she had a very strict upbringing. I mean, did you see the way she looked at Bobby with his elbows on the table? I thought she was going to have a heart attack," he chuckles, and I nod.
"Yeah. Her parents are the epitome of class."
He nods and goes quiet for a few seconds, and I already know what's coming before he opens his mouth.
"So... Josie. That was an interesting two minutes."
I inhale deeply and nod. "Yeah. I guess... I don't know. She looks fantastic. Healthy and just... happy."
"It was a long and rocky road, but she got there. And we're all proud of her for it... I know what SueEllen talked to you about, before you even had a chance to say hi to everyone else."
"Yeah. A warning would have been nice and all before I got ambushed, but I can't say I don't get where she's coming from."
"Yeah, I bet it was quite the surprise. I just want to tell you that I know you both aren't over each other yet. I don't think you ever will be, and nobody would kill you for it if you talked to each other about it. Well, Brooke might. She didn't seem too happy earlier, but that's beside the point. I know being down here with both of them is going to be hard, especially with what happened between both of you last time, but I think you should talk to her."
"There's nothing to talk about," I sigh. "We're with other people. I'm already confused as it is. It's weird seeing her with James, but I'm not doing that to us again. It's not fair. Being down here is messing with my head."
"What do you mean?"
"It's like in Boston, I'm so far away from everything and what I left down here." He flinches, and I recoil. "I'm sorry," I wince. "But it's true. I don't have to think about it, and Brooke just... she distracts me from having to. But I come back down here, and I'm hit by everything like a freight train. The memories, the feelings, everything, and Josie, she just... I don't even know. I haven't seen her like that since before the pregnancy. It's refreshing to see," I admit, and I look up at him. "I don't know what I'm doing down here. I don't understand why I feel like this. I have Brooke, an awesome, beautiful girl who has already done so much for me. Why am I feeling like this?"
"I think it's because you never got time to grieve your relationship." Then he mumbles, "Jesus, I sound like a broken record."
"What?"
"What? Oh, I told Josie the same thing a few months ago. Long story, but I think you both need closure. I saw how you looked at each other when she first walked in, and I saw how devastated you looked when James walked in. Don't you think you owe it yourselves to talk about this and get it all out on the table so you don't have to ever be stuck with the what if's?"
"I agree."
Tommy and I both whip around to see who's joined in the conversation, and I flinch back when I see who it is.
What the hell is James doing out here?
--
Okay, I'm sorry. I know this is an awful place to stop, and I hate cliffhangers, but I've procrastinated getting ready for work long enough, and I really really need to get in the shower lol.
As always, leave your thoughts in the comments.
What do you guys think about Colt's reaction to Josie?
What do you think Brooke's going to do about it?
And James? Plot twist!
Okay. Seriously, I gtg.
Till next time!
XX Blondie XX