Chapter 39 - Ready To Hear The Answer
"May I have your attention - Would Kelly Anderson please report to the office - Kelly Anderson to the office."
The nasally voice of Mrs. Gundlach, the school secretary, came over the loudspeakers just before the end of sixth hour. I smiled and looked up from my quiz, leaning over the side of my desk so that I could see out of the classroom door.
Kelly was right across the hall in French II. She emerged from the classroom with her books in her arms and saw me smiling at her. She cocked her head with a curious squint and silently mouthed, "What did you do?" I raised my eyebrows, frowned, and shrugged slowly, then replaced the expression with a wicked grin.
"Happy Valentine's Birthday, Kelly," Mrs. Dimarco said loudly from behind me, surprising and purposely embarrassing both of us. She did it good-naturedly. I could tell by the smirk on her face.
"Thank you, Mrs. Dimarco," Kelly said, blushing as my whole Physics class tried to look into the hall. She scooted quickly away.
A couple minutes later the bell rang, and I entered the hall to see Kelly coming towards me trying to balance a large glass vase with sixteen red roses in it, plus her books. I hurried over to her and took her books for her so she could focus on the flowers. The girls were starting to congregate already. Not just our friends, but quite a few girls in general crowded around to look at the bouquet.
"Dang, girl!" DJ proclaimed. "You must really know how to keep your woman happy to deserve those!"
Both Kelly and I went wide eyed at the comment, causing the crowd of females to laugh.
"DJ!" Kelly complained.
"That's my sister you're talking about!" Kristy scolded. She was holding three roses that were sold as part of a Student Council fundraiser.
"Hey!" I said, "who's sending you roses? I just got you one."
"The other two were anonymous," Kristy said as she looked at the roses. "I just assumed they were all from you."
I glanced at Mey while the girls were focussed on Kelly's bouquet and Kristy's roses. She was gently smiling and looking at Kristy. It broke my heart a little to see how Mey wanted Kristy to know she was loved, even if she would probably never know by whom. How frustrating it is, I thought, to be in love with someone and not be able to shout it from the rooftops.
The crowd around Kelly was in awe of the gratuitous display of stereotypical Valentine's Day gift giving. I guess most girls just love romance, even if it isn't their preferred flavor.
"I wish my boyfriend was romantic enough to send me a bouquet like that."
"All I got was a half dozen carnations."
"Aw, sixteen roses for her sixteenth birthday."
"I hope my boyfriend's paying attention."
Teachers started reminding us that the next bell was in less than two minutes, so everyone began to disperse.
"I'll grab your books, Kelly," Pixie said. "You'll have to bring your flowers to class. They'll never fit in your locker." She hurried away, leaving me to walk Kelly to her next class.
"Ani, you already got me that huge box of chocolates." Kelly was smiling, but as usual, she was worried about how much I had spent on her.
"It's my first Valentine's Day ever with a date, plus it's your birthday. You're doing me a favor by letting me make a big deal out of it."
"Fine, but I get to pay for the movies."
"Alright. Oh wait, I already bought the tickets in case it was busy for Valentine's Day."
"You did that on purpose," she laughed. "Okay, then I'll pay for dinner," she asserted pertly.
"We both know I'm never going to let you pay for your own birthday dinner." I saw her trying to come up with a protest, so I cut her off. "Please, let me have my fun. I promise I'll let you pay for the next date. Okay?"
Kelly smiled and did that cute little rocking motion as if she were swishing a dress back and forth. "Fine. I love you, Analee."
"I love you, Kelly Rose," and with that, she disappeared into the Family and Consumer Economics classroom just as the bell rang. This was the first year I had ever gotten tardies. They were totally worth it.
* * *
"Why are we going this way?" Kelly asked. I had turned off the highway leading to the restaurant and onto one of the county roads.
"We have to go get your birthday present first," I said proudly.
"Ani!" I wanted to cut her off before she started worrying about expenses again. I made almost twice as much as she did per hour, and I worked practically full time during the summer so I had more to spend, but she still didn't like me going to extremes.
"Today is a very special day. Don't make it about money. We got each other Valentine's presents, now I'm spoiling you for your sweet sixteen before I have to share you with other people tomorrow night for your actual birthday party."
Kelly relaxed, smiled, and said, "You treat me like a princess, you know that? I'm paying for dinner on Saturday before the Winter Formal."
"Fine," I sighed.
"So why is my present down this road?"
"Well, remember your Christmas gift, and how I said it was part of a long term plan?"
"I get to find out what the plan was?" Her face lit up and her mouth hung open with a smile.
"Yep. Remember our very first date? We were in Kwik's, and we were asking each other questions to get to know each other better?"
"Of course."
"I asked you to name something small that you always wanted to do, but never did. Remember?"
"You're taking me to get my nose pierced!?" She was bouncing in her seat. "How? You have to have a parent with you even if you're sixteen."
"Or guardian, but since your grandma knows the guy that owns the tattoo studio where they do the piercings, she just called him and let him know it was okay. He was a student years ago while she still worked at the school." I took a signed consent form out of my pocket and showed her.
"Ani, you're amazing! That's the best gift ever!"
"Look in the glove box." She popped it open and saw the small box I had wrapped in red paper and tied with a white ribbon.
"Can I open it now?" she beamed.
"Sure," I said as I turned into the parking lot of the small tattoo studio and came to a stop.
Inside the box she found a small emerald nose ring, accompanied by silver and gold studs.
"It matches my earrings. You did think about this way ahead of time. All the way back to our first date!"
"I never stop thinking about you, Kelly." I reached over and brushed a long curl of her gorgeous auburn hair away from her face. I was just starting to think about how badly I wanted to kiss her when she leaned over, extending an invitation to meet her half way. I gladly accepted.
I motioned to the nose rings. "I thought you might want some plain ones, too. Emeralds can't go with everything. Whichever one you get in today, though, you're stuck with until it heals completely, which can be a long time from what I hear."
"The emerald," she said with no hesitation.
I reached into my jacket pocket. "I thought we could match." I showed her a small box with three more nose rings. The same two basic studs, and one with a small, light blue gem.
"You're going to do it, too?" She started bouncing excitedly again. "The blue one matches your eyes perfectly, Ani. What is it?"
"Blue zircon. I looked it up, and it's supposed to help remind you of wishes you've forgotten."
"That's sweet. Think it will work?"
"Nah, you know I think believing in superstition is bad luck."
Kelly deadpanned, "Are the dad jokes free on my birthday?"
"Nope, but I'll have to collect later. Our appointment is in five minutes."
We held hands as we went inside and met Miles. He was short and scrawny, covered in tattoos and piercings, and had large gauges in his ears. His clothes contrasted with his body art. He was wearing a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled back, a bow tie, gray dress pants, and a gray vest. His smile was friendly and went all the way into his eyes.
"You must be Analee and Kelly." We were the only three in the shop.
"That's us!" I proudly proclaimed, handing him two consent forms, one with a signature from Kelly's grandma, and one with my mom's. He took the papers with his left hand and extended his right to each of us.
"When I got a call from Nurse Annie saying her granddaughter wanted a piercing, I was super stoked. I loved your grandma."
"Thank you!" Kelly beamed.
"Got the piercings you want so I can sterilize them?"
In almost no time at all, both Kelly and I had little gems decorating our faces. Kelly took the needle going through her nose better than I did. Her eyes didn't even water. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would, but my distress was still obvious. I knew, because we videoed each other getting it done.
Miles gave us care instructions, both verbal and printed, and told us to come straight back if we noticed anything wrong. Then, he brought us back to the front of the store.
"You two have a great Valentine's Day, okay? And give Nurse Annie my love," Miles walked to the door. He was ready to hold it open for us after we got our jackets on.
"I still have to pay you," I said, fishing in my jacket pocket for my wallet.
"This one's a present from me, ladies."
Kelly and I looked at each other, then I looked back at him. "Well, thanks, but you don't have to do that."
"I feel like I do." He looked behind his desk where a collection of family pictures hung on the wall. "Lets just say, I owe Nurse Annie one from way back. It's my honor to do a little something for her granddaughter."
The picture in the middle of the wall, the largest one, showed Miles and a woman together, holding a small baby between them. I vaguely recognized the woman as someone that went to our school years ago, but I didn't know her name.
I wasn't sure how to proceed. I got as far as, "Well, at least let me-" before he cut me off by holding up his hand.
"I'm not taking anything. Just my little way of paying it forward." He said it with friendly finality.
I stepped towards him and shook his hand. "Thank you." Kelly did the same.
* * *
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" It was Cindy. Her outfit for the Winter Formal Dance was a simple, but stunning, blue flared dress. We had just sat down for a break from dancing.
Kelly looked at me to see my reaction, which I tried to keep neutral. "I'm going to grab us a couple of drinks. I'll be back in a bit."
"You don't have to go, Kelly. It's nothing I can't say in front of you." Cindy's demeanor was calm and friendly, but Kelly looked apprehensive anyway.
"It's okay. I really am thirsty. You two talk." With that, Kelly stood up to leave. Before I let go of her hand I pulled her back gently and gave her a lingering kiss on the cheek. I did it not only because I wanted to kiss her, but also to send a clear message to Cindy that any challenge to my relationship would be met with guns blazing. Kelly smiled at me as she walked away, letting our hands separate.
"May I sit down?" Cindy asked.
"Sure." I moved the chair next to mine so that it was a little farther away. The proximity that Kelly and I enjoyed would have been awkward for me and Cindy. She sat down, straightening her dress.
"I see you and Kelly are doing really well," she began. I couldn't read her face. She didn't look upset or judgey about it. It was a simple statement.
"We really are." I gave her the benefit of the doubt, assuming she wasn't about to tell me why we shouldn't be doing well. "How are you and...what was his name? Kevin?"
"We broke up," she said simply.
"Oh. I'm sorry."
Cindy didn't miss a beat. "Ani, remember when you told me I should pray for God to tell me if homosexuality was wrong, and not listen to anyone else, just God."
"Yes." I thought, "Oh boy, here it comes."
"I did that, Ani. I did what you asked me to do. For months I prayed just about every day, at least in part for God's wisdom concerning people like you, and what I should think about them."
She paused, so I decided to move the conversation forward. "And what did He tell you?"
"Nothing, Ani. I didn't feel like He was giving me a 'yes' or a 'no' about whether to accept the lifestyle you've chosen."
I decided to ignore the "people like you" and "lifestyle you've chosen" remarks. She was apparently getting somewhere. I figured I'd let her get there.
"So...you think God was ignoring you?" I offered.
"God doesn't ignore anyone, Ani, but He does have a way of waiting until you're ready to hear the answer to give you one. I think that's what He was doing with me. He had to wait until I was really ready to listen to Him. Finally, a few weeks ago, He gave me an answer."
"Oh?" I was ready for a fight, but I wasn't going to be the one who started it.
"Kevin came up to see me for Valentine's Day, and we went to see the Lego Movie."
"Cindy, my head is spinning."
"Don't worry," she laughed, "it all ties together. We saw the movie at the same time you and Kelly did, but I don't think you saw us. We were pretty far behind you. Anyway, I pointed you out to Kevin, and...he wasn't mean, really, but he did talk about how homosexuality was an abomination, and you and Kelly were sinners bound for Hell...stuff like that."
"But, not mean, really."
"Right, nothing mean." She totally missed the sarcasm. "It still made me feel so yucky to hear him talking about you like that, because I love you, Ani, I really do. So, I prayed desperately through the whole movie saying, 'God, why can't you please answer me? I just want to know what Your will is. I want to know how to think about my friend.' Because I still think of you as a friend, Ani. I really do."
I imagined someone trying to appeal to a god for a revelation of eternal wisdom while spending good money to watch a movie about heroic toys. It struck me as quite a juxtaposition. I kept that thought to myself, however. "Okay, so...did you get an answer?"
"Well, I watched you and Kelly while I prayed. I kept asking God for a sign to let me know if He approved of your love. As I watched, I saw you guys laugh at the same things, jump at the same times, hold hands...and every time one of you leaned over to steal a kiss, your heads coming together looked like a heart, silhouetted by the light from the movie screen."
I was silent now. The moral of the story was forming in her mind, and I wanted to know what she thought it was.
"And yet, I just kept praying and praying for God to show me a sign. Suddenly it hit me. God was practically screaming at me, 'Cindy, you fool! I plopped the friend you care about right in front of you so that you could see how wonderful she is with her girlfriend, and I even made them look like hearts when they come together! Get it through your thick head, Girl!' I dragged Kevin out of the movie theater before the show was done and made him drive me someplace private to talk about it."
"So, what happened?" I was getting into the little drama.
"I told him about my revelation, and he told me I was misguided, that Satan put you two there to confuse me. He started quoting Bible passages about stoning people for being gay. You've heard them all before, I'm sure. You know what he did?" She was indignant now.
"What?" I was on edge.
"The little prick actually told on me to my parents!" I busted out laughing at Cindy calling someone a 'prick.'
"I'm sorry, that's not funny. I was laughing at the way you said it. So, what did your parents say?"
"Oh, the usual. I need to talk to a pastor, I'm confused, I need to read my Bible, I need to pray on it, yadda, yadda. I told them what I needed to do was apologize to my friend and to find a better guy to date. So that's what I'm doing. I apologize to you, Ani. I hope you can forgive me."
"Cindy, I always knew you wanted what was best for me. You were just taught that what was best for me was to not love the person I'm in love with." I took her hand. "I never wanted to stop being your friend. I just didn't know how to be a friend under those circumstances. I'm sorry about you and Kevin."
"Well I'm not! I'm no feminist, but I want to be with a man who doesn't treat me like a child!"
She spat the word 'feminist' like it was an insult. I let it go. "One step at a time," I thought.
Kelly came back with our drinks, and Cindy and I stood up. We gave each other a big hug. "We need to hang out," I said.
"Definitely. I've missed you so much!" She turned to Kelly. "And, I need to get to know the young lady who stole my friend's heart. You're a demon on the basketball court, by the way. I mean that as a good thing. Not like you're really a demon. Oh, and I love the new nose rings. That's so cute that you guys got them together."
Kelly smiled at her. We both said, "Thanks."
"Just pick a time and a day, and I'll be there to hang out, Ani." Cindy gave me another big hug and went back to her group of friends from her church.
"So, you two made up? Is she...okay with you dating a girl now?"
"Yeah. It's actually kind of a sweet story. I'll tell you all about it later." I watched Cindy mingle with her friends.
"Whatcha thinking?"
"I'm wondering how much longer Cindy is going to fit into her social group. Nothing cements a group together better than hate, and Cindy just isn't that hateful. They'll turn on her if they find out she doesn't disapprove of the same people they do." I turned to face Kelly. "Oh well, I'll be here for her if she needs someone."
Kelly looked at me with a dreamy smile, and I felt her arms slowly wrap around my waist and embrace me.
"What did I do to deserve that look?"
"You made me fall in love with you," she purred into my neck.
"You're a goofball."
"I must be. Look at the girlfriend I attracted."
I kissed her forehead. "Come on, let's go tease Rizzy and Falcon."
* * *
The windows on the Jeep were fogged so badly there was no seeing out of them. It was just as well, I wouldn't have wanted anyone to be able to see in. Kelly was on her back in the backseat, and I was kneeling over top of her with one foot on the floor. Our panties had been unceremoniously tossed aside. We massaged each other under our dresses, and tried to kiss between staggered breaths.
I felt Kelly's muscles tighten and a whining moan came out of her mouth as her knees rose up. I watched her face as she rode out the feeling, then put my mouth by her ear and whispered, "I love you, Kelly," while it subsided. With renewed vigor, she worked on getting me to the same point.
Afterwards, we spent time just holding each other. She sat in front of me, reclining on me like a backrest.
"I need some more energy," I said. I reached for the box of homemade vegan candies that Kelly had given me for Valentine's Day. "I really like this one. What's it called?"
"Divinity. I made it with chickpea brine instead of egg whites." I considered the little white blob in my hand and how much effort Kelly had put into the treats. I brought it to her lips to give her a bite. "My grandma said it used to be really popular."
"I can see why," I said with my mouth full. I grabbed another piece and offered Kelly a bite, but she shook her head.
"No more for me. My heart's already racing. I shouldn't have any more sugar." She looked back at me and gently touched my nose. "So, is it working yet? Remember any forgotten wishes?"
"No. I guess when you came into my life, all my wishes were granted." I stroked my thumb across her cheek.
She looked thoughtful for a while as we slowly ran our fingers over each other's exposed arms and faces. I recognized her thinking expression, so I respected her silence. I could tell when she had a thought she wanted to share and needed time to phrase it.
"This year is really flying by, huh?" she finally said.
"I know. I feel like January was a blur of school work, sledding, and sports."
"What do you think this summer will be like?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, my mom's been talking to me a little bit more, finally. What if she wants me to move back at the end of the school year?"
"Then summer will suck, since we probably won't be able to see each other, but at least I'll be going to school in Madison in the fall."
"Yeah, but...my stepdad would still never let me date a girl, even if my mom would. I'd be back in the closet again if I lived at home."
"I know. That worries me, too. At least if you were up here I'd get to see you on weekends and breaks. If you're at your mom's, we'd only be able to see each other when you could sneak away. Maybe you could get a friend you can trust to cover for you so you can do the fake sleepover thing and go out with me once a month or something. Plus, anytime your dad is in town, I bet he would cover for us."
"Would that be enough for you?" Kelly turned slightly and searched my eyes.
"It would have to be," I said matter of factly.
"But, would you be able to enjoy college?"
"Kelly, let's not do the, 'you need to be free to enjoy life and new experiences and blah, blah, blah,' thing, okay? I've read all the YA lesbian romance novels. I know the speech. The difference is, we would be in the same city. It would be frustrating for two years, but then we could find a way to be together more freely. And who knows? If your dad gets his business started and you can stay with him more often, then we could see each other quite a bit!"
"You sound like you've thought about this a lot."
"I have." I kissed her temple. "I told you, I never stop thinking about you. What about you? Would you be okay with a relationship like that?" Kelly was quiet for a minute. I got a little nervous. Maybe I didn't want to know the answer.
"Like you said, I would have to be. I mean, it's not really a hard choice for me. If I lived at home, I wouldn't be able to date anyone else anyway, even if I wanted to. Not that I would want to! But, it would be a choice between sneaking around with you once in a while, or just not having a love life at all. I just...I never want to feel like a hindrance to you."
"Never," I said firmly. "You wouldn't be a hindrance. You would be the goal. The things standing in between us would be the hindrances." She smiled at that, and I could tell she was satisfied.
"I'm getting a little cold now that we aren't fooling around," Kelly said.
"Well, I could turn on the heat, or..." I nibbled her ear.
"Again? It's like you've been on a mission this weekend. First Valentine's Day, then both before and after my birthday party, now tonight...I'm going to be numb for a week!"
I breathed lightly on her ear and gave it a kiss because I knew that turned her on. "I'll be gentle. I promise," I purred. "We're so close. I can't give up now."
"So close to what?" she asked softly. She bent her neck to the side, allowing my lips to gently continue downwards. I could hear the surrender in her voice, and it turned me on.
"Sixteen for your sixteenth," I whispered.
"Sixteen wha- You've been counting!?" I just chuckled. "What am I on?" she asked, a little incredulous.
"Fourteen."
"Oh my god! So next year...?"
"That's right, seventeen. Hey, want to try something new?"
"Like what?" She sounded a little scared.
I moved her up and I lay down on my backseat. She straddled me and gave me a kiss, saying, "This isn't new, Ani."
I grinned and reached down between her legs, going through them and grabbing her butt cheeks. I started to pull her hips up towards my head.
"Seriously, Ani?" She looked shocked. "But how is that fun for you?"
"Oh, trust me, it'll be fun for me," I assured her as her dress went over my head.
After a few minutes I heard her sigh, "I can't wait until I'm in my twenties."