Weeks went by and eventually it was the week of Halloween. Everyone was hyped. Even though we were seniors Halloween still brought excitement to us. Jay and I had been together for a month. We were doing good but his desire to control everything became more obvious. He wanted me to sit with him at the football side of the table at lunch now instead of with my friends, he insisted on always walking me to class when he could, and quite frequently was beginning to get on my case about what I wore to school. To outsiders of our relationship they might've found his behavior cute, and I did too but sometimes it got overwhelming.
Halloween fell on a Friday and there would be a party right after. Chris had unsuccessfully tried to convince our dad to let us throw a party at the house but he wouldn't allow it. I was surprised when Jay told me he'd be having it at his. I hadn't been to his house all but that one time, but it seemed odd to be having it there. His household was so secretive so I wasn't expecting him to be open to being a party host.
By Friday the school had an atmosphere of excitement not only because of the holiday, but because we'd be playing another one of our rival schools. They were equally as good as our team but I knew Jay could get us this win.
"We're about to be the baddest girls at that party tonight," Kendra said to me as we stretched on the track field. The game was about to start in another eight minutes.
"For sure," I said. Jay and I decided to dress together. I was going to dress as Barbie and he'd be Ken. It was corny but I found the idea adorable and one that required minimal effort.
Chantel went for something typical: a Playboy bunny outfit. She kept talking about it the whole week.
"It's crazy how jay is having a party at his house, he's never done that before," Yassmine said.
"Really?" I asked.
"Mhm. I don't think anyone from school has been to his house before."
"Shit I'm dating him and I've only been in there once."
Yasmine laughed at the same time as the buzzer went off signalizing the start of the game.
***
I couldn't believe how bad we were losing. I knew the opposing team was good, but I thought we would be in the lead. They were winning by fourteen points. I hated to admit it buy Jay wasn't playing like a team. He wanted to beat them so badly he kept missing passes and trying to score all of the touchdowns. This resulted in everyone else getting mad at him and playing just as bad.
"Yo, you guys suck!" Chantel yelled at the football players.
"Chantel!" I scolded. "We're supposed to be cheerleaders."
"These losers are embarrassing."
I sighed and focused my attention on Jay. He once again had attempted to make a touchdown without the thought to throw it to my brother Chris and ended up getting tackled.
"Ugh," Chantel groaned.
The coach called for a timeout and the football players formed a huddle. I saw Jay glance in my direction and I waved to cheer him up, but he looked away. I sighed and called out a cheer for my team to do. The boys might have been losing tonight but I wasn't going to let that effect my team.
***
We lost the game big and everyone was disappointed. The excitement that was there earlier seemed to have died down. The party was still on though so hopefully this loss wouldn't effect the atmosphere there.
The girls and I got ready over at Kendra's house and by the time we arrived at Jay's place it was already packed.
"How do I look?" I asked them as we approached the front door.
I had on a baby blue body suit, pink belt, pink legwarmers and white tennis shoes. I had straightened my hair and put it in a high ponytail with a thick pink scrunchy. I definetly felt like a Barbie doll.
"You look adorable," Chantel said.
"I don't want to look adorable I want to look hot," I whined.
"Well you should've thought about that before picking a costume like that."
"Why are you always hating, Chantel?"
"Okay, bitches not tonight please," Kendra begged.
"Right," Yasmine said. "I want to go a night without ya'll coming for each other's ncks." She wrapped us in a group hug. "Good vibes only, my dudes."
We all looked at each other then burst out laughing. Yasmine's desire for peace and wanting everyone to be happy was exactly why her Hippie costume was such a great fit. We walked inside o the house and was immediately greeted with the smell of smoke and loud music bumping from a speaker. I hoped this party wouldn't get shut down any time soon because everyone had forgotten about our big loss and seemed to be enjoying themselves. But my main concern was Jay and making sure he was good. He hadn't even replied to my texts when I told him I would be on my way.
I asked around if anyone had seen him but no one had so I just decided to go upstairs to his room. I knocked on his door and got no response. I slowly turned the door knob and sa Jay sitting on his bed drinking a beer.
"Hey, baby," I said softly. I stepped in and shut the door behind me.
Jay looked at me but didn't say anything. He had taken a shower but wore a simple jeans and T-shirt, not the button up and pants we had discussed he'd wear to match my costume.
"Why you not wearing your costume?" I asked, crossing my arms.
Jay only shrugged. I sighed and sat beside him on the bed.
"Babe, don't let the game kill your vibe," I said. "You're the best player on the team. One lost doesn't define you."
"I hate losing, I never lose," Jay said quietly.
"we cant't always be winners. That's not how life works. You win some, you lose some."
Jay glared at me and his eyes got dark.
"I don't need your stupid ass pep talk or whatever the fuck you're trying to do," he snapped.
"Stupid?" I said, standing up. "What's stupid is you being a crybaby about a fucking game that's not even going to matter in the long run."
"Oh yeah?" Jay stood up and got in my face.
I backed up but he only followed my movements.
"Whatever, I'm going downstairs," I said. I turned around but Jay grabbed onto my arm. "Jay, let go that hurts." I tried remove his grip but he only tightened it. He pushed me hard away from him causing me to fall on the floor and bang my head on the wall.
"You want to go downstairs? Go then!" he yelled.
I stared in shock. I had never seen him get this angry with me. I slowly started to stand up from the floor but Jay used his foot to push me back down.
"What are you doing?" I exclaimed in disbelief. I was in too much shock to even cry. Jay and I stared at each other for a few seconds. I shakily started to stand back up and he watched my every move. Without saying a word I opened the door and walked out.
What the hell had just happened?
I walked downstairs. I could barely contain my composure I was still confused and in shock at what had just gone down. I could handle an argument but physically being harmed swasnt something I epected. It wasn't even something I considered I'd ever be in a position for.
"Hey, Amore, you seen Jay?" I heard a voice ask me.
I ignored whoever it was and found myself in the kitchen. I grabbed a cup from the cabinets and shakily got myself some water from the refrigerator. I took a sip and slowly fely my body relax a little. I leaned against the counter and watched as Chris came in. He wasn't with the festivities and just wore regular clothes.
"What's up with you?" he asked when he noticed me.
I ignored him. His face got serious.
"Amore, seriously are you okay?" Chris asked. "Did somebody do something to you?" he stepped closer to me and looked at my face.
I swallowed a lump forming in my throat. I had thought I was fine, but being asked these questions was making my emotions finally surface. I just shook my head and took another sip of water to surpress the tears from starting.
"stop lying to me," Chris said. "I know that face. Someone made you upset. Who was it ill kick they ass."
"I-I'm fine," I managed to say. "I just needed a moment to myself."
"Yourself? Where Jay at? He better not have fucked with you."
"He didn't," I said quickly.
Why was I lying?
"I actually haven't even seen him yet," I said. "I just got here."
Chris stared straight at me. He knew I was speaking out of my ass. Yet he just nodded.
"Alright, imma be here so just come to me if you need me," Chris said. "If you want to go home let me know."
"Okay," I said. I smiled hoping it would make him less suspicious.
He smiled before turning around and going back into the living room. I let out a deep breath I had been holding in. I finished my water and went into the living room where everyone was at. I spotted Jay sitting on the couch and talking with his friends. He was laughing and acting normal. He looked over at me and I quickly looked away. I needed to be somewhere else. I walked upstairs and entered into a room despite the fact that the door was closed and had a taped note on it that said "KEEP OUT".
I shut the door behind me and turned the lights on. The walls of the room were decorated by various art prints and collages. There was a giant poster of some sort of anime character in the center of it all. This was Niomi's room it had to be. I suddenly became uncomfortable. But I was also curious.
I walked over to her desk and stared at a photo of her family tht was in a frame next to her Chemistry textbook. I picked the picture up to observe it and felt a wave of disturbance come over me. Everyone was smiling, yes, but Jay's mom had a sad look in her eyes. She looked almost fearful if you stared at her face hard enough.
I heard the door open and turned, jumping when I saw Jay in the doorway.
"Jesus!" I shrieked. "Why are you in here?"
"Ask yourself that," Jay said.
I pursed my lips. He was right though. I set the picture back in its place and jay watched me. He stared at the picture for a moment before reverting his eyes back to me.
"Let me talk to you," he said, stepping further into the room. He closed the door.
"Now you want to talk to me," I said under my breath. "And anyways, I'm not about to be in here any longer. It's bad enough I came into your sister's room in the first place."
"Relax, she ain't even here. She's at a friend's. She doesn't do parties."
I crossed my arms, seeming to relax at that news. I was already on Niomi's bad side for reasons unknown, I didn't want to further get on her nerves.
"I need to apologize to you for what I did," Jay said. "That wasn't cool."
I looked down. Jay let out a heavy breath and took a step towards me. He lifted my chin up and stared down at me.
"You look cute," he said. He smiled. "I see your ass in this Barbie get up." He patted my butt.
I rolled my eyes and gently pushed him away.
"That was your apology?" I said. "Jay, you pushed and grabbed at me. I was scared."
"I know and I'm sorry I fucked up."
"Yeah, you did. That was fucked up and uncalled for. Who do you think you are?" I was raising my voice.
"I fucking said I'm sorry! What more do you want?" Jay gave me a look of frustration. "You want me to do it again? Is that what you want because you're fucking getting on my nerves."
I stared at him in shock. Jay took a deep breath,
"I didn't mean that," he said.
A tear dropped from my eyes and I wiped it away. Jay saw this and wrapped me in a hug.
"That's all I wanted from you tonight," I said. "A hug, Jay. I don't want you to be mean." I wrapped my arms around him and embraced his hug.