It was Valentine's day, and Harry wanted to stay bundled up in his room as he sobbed.
It was a bit of an over exaggeration, but it still stood that it was the day that hurt Harry the most.
Usually PDA was on the down low, and Harry could easily ignore how lonely he was. But on Valentine's Day, everyone was always making out with each other, and Harry wasn't sure whether he was annoyed or jealous.
Yes, he was a bitter single. Whatever.
"Harry, it's almost time to go to charms. You need to get up."
"Neville, you know the drill. I'm sick."
Neville just sighed. "You can't just be sick every Valentine's Day. Soon someone's going to get suspicious."
Harry snorted. "Yeah, but I'm in sixth year. Even if they catch on next year it's not like it's gonna really change anything."
He heard the door opening and counted it as a victory. "Fine. Have a good nap, Harry."
The door closed, and Harry felt a sort of vindictive pleasure in actually being able to stay in bed for yet another Valentine's Day.
He wasn't proud of it, but he didn't want to have to deal with all the bullshit that the day brought. He'd have to at dinner, so sleeping in was his way of dealing with it.
Besides, what if Tom decided to ask his mate to date him today? Harry couldn't witness that!
Harrumphing, Harry stuck his face in his pillow.
After his bloody nose experience, Tom had visited him in the hospital wing when visitors were welcome— Madam Pomfrey had made him stay overnight, so she could monitor him. He asked Harry to come watch the sunset with him the next day.
Of course, Harry had agreed, and it was the best experience of his life.
He wasn't sure whether he could call it a date, seeing as he didn't want to be too presumptuous, but he sure hoped it was.
Still, Harry was alone. Again. For another Valentine's Day. Even if he was Tom's mate, the fact remained that Harry was still very single.
—
"Harry Potter, you're a disgrace."
"Thanks, 'Mione," Harry grunted, as he woke up from his nap. "Uh, you're not allowed in the boys—"
"I don't want to hear it!" Hermione exclaimed, shutting the door behind her. "What is this for, huh? Why stay in bed all day when I personally know you're healthy? Think of your education, Harry!"
Harry rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and shrugged. "I dunno. Valentine's Day just affects me, I guess."
Hermione's eyes softened. "No, shit." She sighed. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"You wanna listen to my bullshit?"
"I asked, didn't I?"
Harry sighed and patted his bed, prompting Hermione to sit down across from him.
He took a deep breath. "Well, I mean it physically hurts to see people in relationships when I'm not— Merlin, that makes it sound so selfish. I don't mean it like—" Harry cut himself off, flinging himself into his pillows. "I'm not good at emotions."
"Try your best," Hermione comforted, her hand reaching out grab his ankle lightly. "I'm listening."
Harry took a moment.
"I feel like I'm missing something, 'Mione. My heart feels like there's a hole in it and I don't know how to fix it. Whenever I see happy couples it hurts so much more. It's almost like... my heart is reaching for something it doesn't have?" His face burned. "That sounded silly. I'm—"
"No, it didn't sound silly," Hermione breathed, her calculating eyes wandering over Harry's form. "Has it been getting worse?"
Harry nodded. "Every year. Why?"
Hermione shrugged, but Harry could tell that there was something to it that Hermione wouldn't tell him. "Just curious. Listen, it's almost class time. I'll wake you up at the end of lunch to see if you're up to go to potions. Unless you want me to wake you up at the beginning of lunch..?"
"No, end of lunch sounds fine," Harry declined. "Thank you so much."
Hermione just smiled and stood up. "If anyone hears about me entering the boys dormitory I will end you."
Harry just laughed.
—
In the end, Harry decided that showing up to Potions wouldn't be the end of the world.
Besides, it was primarily Gryffindors and Slytherins. Chances were that the PDA would be little to none.
The only worry Harry had as he was getting dressed was how he'd react to being so close to his crush.
Well, crush made it sound so childish. But did Harry have another word for it? No.
Tom had decided over the past few weeks that he would sit in the seat behind Harry during potions, so while Harry sat with Ron, Tom sat with Hermione.
Him and Hermione weren't the best of friends, to Harry's knowledge, but they seemed to be civil with one another. Tom was typically silent, other than talking to Harry, so Hermione could focus on her work. It was somewhat of a partnership made in heaven.
Still, having Tom sit so close made Harry worry whether or not showing up to class was a smart decision. Would being close to Tom make him feel better or make him feel worse? Would it make the longing even stronger?
Harry would have to find out when he got there.
When he got there, he sat down at his chair, taking out his books. Soon, he felt a presence near his back.
"Hey, Harry. Why weren't you at breakfast?"
Harry turned around and saw Tom, who had obviously just sat down at his table, leaning against the desk to get closer.
"I felt sick this morning. I'm sorry, were you looking for me?"
Tom paused, and Harry saw him bite the bottom of his lip. "No," he eventually said, "that doesn't matter. How are you feeling now?"
Harry's face started to heat up. Did Tom actually care about how he felt, or was he just asking to be nice?
It didn't strike Harry for Tom to just ask a question without caring about the answer. So that meant he cared about Harry's health... right?
"A little better. I just came because I knew Snape would make me write an essay about what was wrong with me if I didn't," Harry joked.
Tom's eyebrows creased. "If you're still not feeling good, I can cover for you. Class doesn't start for another few minutes so if you hurry you could get back to bed without Snape seeing you."
Harry snorted. "You know I'm always on his radar, as soon as I step out of this class he'll be there to give me a detention." He smiled up at the other wizard. "But thank you anyways."
Tom smiled back.
—
At dinner, Harry was stuffing his face full of food, trying to ignore the couples in his peripheral vision. Merlin, they were practically fucking in the Great Hall. Did they know there were people around?
"Harry, slow down. You look like Ron."
Ron swallowed the rest of his food. "I take offense to that, 'Mione."
They were cut off by the owls swooping in. Harry wasn't expecting anything, so he continued with dinner, only to be shocked by a package dropping right in front of him, nearly missing the turkey.
Harry stared at it, confused.
"Are you gonna take it, mate?" Ron asked, staring at the package. "It says your name on it."
"I... I wasn't expecting mail," Harry said.
Who was this from? It obviously wasn't something he had ordered, but here the box was.
"Open it," Seamus, who was sitting next to Harry, encouraged. "I want some turkey without it being squashed."
With unsure hands, Harry used his wand to cast a cutting hex on the tape surrounding the package, and when he opened it, he was shocked by the inside.
"A... teddybear?"
He took it out, and set it on his lap in the negative space between the table and his chest. It was a plain teddybear, fluffy stuffing and a big green bow around its neck. Harry couldn't help but stare at it in shock.
"Who gave you a teddybear?" Ron asked, his attention swerved from his dinner.
"I have no idea," Harry admitted, his thumbs stroking the bear's arms. "Do you guys?"
Hermione and Ron shared a look, but they both shook their heads.
Harry stayed silent. This was obviously a gift supposed to be romantic. But who would give a romantic gift to Harry?
In the back of his mind, Harry's thoughts drifted to Tom. But it couldn't be Tom.
—
Tom was, once again, in the headmaster's office.
"Why do you care so much about my relationship, or lack thereof, with Harry?" Tom bemoaned. "Why do we need to have this conversation nearly every week?"
"Because every week you become more and more hazardous to yourself and others," Dumbledore chastised. "You and Harry are mates. It's not the smartest idea to keep your demon away from its mate, and I know that you know that."
Tom narrowed his eyes, but he knew the man wasn't wrong. "Well, I gave him a gift today. I'll see if he liked it, and I'll go from there. I don't want to lose him because I was too cocky in my advances."