look deeper | mark lee

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we got some news
we were told they were unable to do anything
and they are sorry for our loss
that if he had taken a few less pills
or was found minutes earlier
he could have survived
we all sat their in silence
it felt like it was a dream
like mark was gonna walk out with a massive smile on his face
the old mark
before depression took over
it felt he was gonna sneak up behind me
and shout in my ear to make me jump
and then run away when i tried mess his hair or give him a kiss on the cheek
that night i sat outside his room
waiting for him to come out
this couldn't be real
he couldn't actually be gone
i waited to hear his guitar playing
usually a song i asked for because i wanted to do a cover on it
he always did it with no hesitation
i waited for the door to open
and for him to ask me what i wanted for a takeaway and it was on him
i waited for him to call me in
asking if his rap sounded good or need improving
i always told him it sounded amazing
but he stayed up for hours trying to improve anyway
i just want to wake up
to a year ago
when everything was good
when we were all happy
why did all this happen?
why didn't we read the signs properly?
why didn't we look deeper?
he said he was fine though
and we believed him.