Chapter 3// The Truth Comes Out
I stare anxiously at the house in front of me, my lips raw from my habitual biting.
It’s the day after the car accident, and according to the hospital when I rang earlier this morning- Jennifer has been sent home. She’s recovered from the main effects of her concussion, and her leg is casted up: she’s just been told to take it easy for the next few days and get lots of rest. Now is the perfect time to introduce myself and apologise, right? My hands shake as they grip the bunch of flowers- a feeble apology present against what I did to her. The house is a clear white colour and about the same size as ours, but that doesn’t make it any less intimidating. Every instinct in my body is screaming at me to run away screaming, and it’s almost impossible not to, but I need to do the right thing. The right thing is admitting my wrong, apologising and trying to make up for it.
The flowers are a baby step, don’t worry.
I exhale deeply and force my rigid muscles to walk me towards the door. Jesse lives on the same road as Everett and I: a modern and sophisticated estate, with a small alleyway leading to the beach. The house stood in front of me is a pure white, with wide bay windows and navy detailing. According to Everett, who has visited Jesse’s house before, there’s a pool in the back garden too so Mr and Mrs Dales must be pretty rich. I reach the door, take a nervous dry gulp and knock as hard as I dare on the misty glass. Oh my gosh I can’t believe I’m doing this. There’s no going back now.
It takes a second, but soon I hear the distant thud of footsteps and a figure approaches behind the clouded glass of the door. My hands clutch into fists, my heart beating slightly faster. These people are going to hate me, and rightly so. What am I going to do? In front of me, the door opens swiftly, revealing Jesse. His hair is tousled and curly in the most adorable bedhead and he’s squinting at me confusedly. My eyes run over him quickly, and I can’t help but quirk a smile at the sight of his bare feet on the doormat. “Hi,” I look up, feeling more than a little awkward at the introduction, “I’m here to see your mom?”
“Oh um, okay,” Jesse frowns confusedly, taking a cautious step away from the door. Have I come too early? It’s obvious he’s recently got out of bed. What if Jennifer’s sleeping and I’m disturbing her? “You’re the girl who served me at the café,” He realises aloud, eyeing me doubtfully. “What are you doing here? How did you know what happened to my mom?”
“Can I please explain inside?” I ask weakly, feeling a blush burning my cheeks. Is it bad that I’m trying to prolong this as long as possible? I don’t want my crush to hate me just yet. “I really do need to speak to your mom. Is she awake?”
“Yeah she’s up,” Jesse nods, running a hand through his hair and stepping back enough to allow me to step indoors. I subconsciously begin to play with my fingers as I step inside, the sudden weight of the situation dawning on me. In about five minutes, the whole Dales family is going to hate my guts and I’ll probably have a huge medical bill to pay. What am I going to do? “This way,” Jesse interrupts my anxiety, gesturing for me to head up the stairs. The interior decoration of this house is about as modern as the exterior, and every single item in this hallway seems to scream expense. Without thinking twice, I slide off my shoes. I’m not going to be the person who got Jennifer’s cream carpet dirty as well as breaking her leg.
I jog up the stairs after Jesse, admiring the décor as I do, and he leads us onto a wide landing carpeted with beige. It honestly feels like I’m walking on clouds. “It’s that one right there.” He points towards the door on the left, and nodding determinedly to try and disguise my fear, I walk towards it. Reaching up, I knock tentatively on the door. By this point I’m shaking, and I can sense the bitter metallic taste of blood faintly in my mouth, leaking from my bitten lip. I wish Everett had come with me, but he’s taking Tammy to her friend’s house and she lives a little while away. Besides, mom thinks I need to do this on my own. I can only hope that Jennifer won’t scream and shout when I tell her the bad news.
Oh hi there Jennifer. You won’t know my name but I’m the person who hit you with a car. I brought you some flowers to make up for it though!
“Come in.”
I’m startled out of my thoughts by a voice from the opposite side of the door, and for a second I freeze in my spot. My hand twitches on the door handle, and after a short second I manage to muster the courage to open the door. A warm hand touches me softly on the back, and with a jolt I realise Jesse is trying to urge me through the door, obviously not realising why I’m so nervous after I demand to see his mother. Squinting my eyes shut for a second and taking a deep breath, I step into the room. The walls are painted pale blue, the bouncy carpet from outside suddenly disappearing in place for smooth laminate flooring. A woman lies in the master bed in the centre of the room, staring curiously back at me. She’s propped up against the headboard, her angel blonde hair splaying out onto the pillows. Jennifer.
“Hi,” She smiles uncertainly, folding her hands into her lap. “Can I help you?”
Slowly I shake my head, chuckling nervously under my breath. “Unfortunately I don’t think you’ll want to in a moment.”
“What?” She frowns at me, obviously not putting together my hint.
Avoiding the question, I step unsurely towards the bed, much to her surprise. “I’m Lois Reynolds,” I introduce myself shyly, holding out my hand for her to shake. As soon as her hand has clasped with mine, I bring the flowers forward and a smile lights up her features. When she’s not unconscious, she’s very pretty and Jesse obviously got his looks from her. Even with a tired, make-up less face, she somehow reminds me of an angel. That sounds incredibly corny, I’m aware, I think it has something to do with her shining blonde locks, a few shades lighter than Jesse’s. Either that, or her smile. It’s not fair- how can someone’s teeth be so perfect?
“I’m Jennifer but call me Jenny,” The woman nods, glancing up from her flowers. “Thank you for the flowers, but I’m still confused…do I know you from somewhere?” She frowns uncertainly at me, scanning my face for any sign of recognition. My eyes slide bashfully down to my feet, which are longing to run their way out of here. I shove my hands in my back pockets to stop the shaking. This is it. I need to tell her. Come on Lois. Just get it over with.
“You don’t know me,” I admit quietly, “But I know you. I was driving the car which backed out into you.”
Silence.
Then…everything.
Jennifer’s delicate mouth falls open and she releases a very shaky breath.
Jesse, stood awkwardly by the doorway watching, tenses and I can see him approach the opposite side of his bed, protective of his mother. I daren’t glance up at his face, for fear of what I may see in his expression. I keep my gaze focused firmly on the floor, chewing my lip. Call me a coward, fine, but I’d love to see you in that same situation. After a few seconds of silence, I peek up through my lashes. Jennifer’s eyes are wary and wide and she’s scratching the back of her neck as if she doesn’t know what to say. Or how to say it. Let’s be honest here, she wants me to leave. Right. Now.
“Oh,” Jennifer says shortly, looking down at her lap. “I see.”
“Please,” I suddenly rush out, my voice sounding tiny and vulnerable in the silence. “You don’t have to forgive me. Lord, I don’t forgive myself! I just wanted you to know that it was me, and I’m taking full responsibility for my mistake. I’ll help with anything, pay for anything. Just let me know what I can do to make up for it and I’ll do it.” The words are a slur because I spoke them so fast, and I exhale shortly after I’ve finished. Jennifer is staring up at me with wide eyes, and she looks like she wants to say something, but I don’t give her the chance. “I should probably go,” I gulp. “I’m so sorry. I…I’m so so sorry.” By this point the tear ducts are going again, water dribbling mercilessly over my cheeks.
Just as I spin on my heel, Jennifer speaks.
“It was partly my fault,” She admits quietly. “I stepped out at the wrong time. I wasn’t focused on the cars beside me- it was stupid, I know. I guess we both made a mistake.”
By this point my jaw is on the floor and I turn to face her again slowly, shocked to see Jennifer both wary and sheepish at the same time. It’s clear from her face that I have some making up to do, but for some reason she’s also taking part of the blame upon herself. Why is she doing that?
“I appreciate that you’re trying to make it up to me,” Jennifer nods. Not smiling, but not completely unfriendly and cold like I was expecting. “A lot of people wouldn’t have the courage to do that.”
“Anything I can help with.” My voice is dry and cracked, and I clear my throat awkwardly.
“Hold on…you’re saying you did this to my mom?!”
Oh crap.
I look over at Jesse and he’s glaring back at me with both an expression of disbelief, anger and horror. His hands clench slowly into fists at his sides, and he glances at his mom in the bed. This was more like I was expecting: absolute hatred rather than understanding like Jennifer showed me. His sea green eyes, usually soft and friendly, turn steely under my guilty appearance and he takes a rolling step back. I don’t blame him for hating me: I almost killed his mother. This is the sort of punishment I deserve. His glare is transfixed on me, and he shakes his head in disbelief. “Please tell me this is some kind of sick joke.”
“Jesse,” Jennifer remarks sharply. “She’s apologised and promised to make up for it- what else can she do?”
Jesse doesn’t look away from me.
“You ran over my mom,” His glare turns all the more icy, his jaw shifting angrily as he leans back. His arms, now crossed against his muscular chest, tighten around himself. “Lois Reynolds.”
He hates me. He honestly, truly hates my guts.
I shift uncomfortably under his gaze, the guilt hitting me again like a tonne of bricks. My eyes burn, but I refuse to cry any more in front of him, so I just stare at my feet. My shoulders slump in defeat. This is Jesse, my crush of three years, and he hates me with a passion now. Why am I such an idiot?
“Jesse,” Jennifer hedges coldly, “I could do with some lunch if you please.”
I can tell this is her way of trying to get Jesse away from me before I die of hurt and humiliation right there on her floor, and a rush of gratitude overcomes me. I glance meekly up at the boy, and he nods towards his mother, softening as he looks at her. He’s probably confused as to why she’s not angry too, and I am as well. Why isn’t she angry? If anything it’s making me feel worse that she’s being so nice about all of this. Jesse mutters something under his breath and begins stalking towards the door, only catching my eye as he passes me. His expression is filled with disbelief and fury, and it’s as if I’m some kind of monster in his view.
I freeze in my spot, watching him as he leaves the room, alongside any microscopic chance of him ever liking me back. I feel like my life is a rollercoaster- every time I get too happy, God shakes his head saying ‘Oh we can’t have that’ and throws another obstacle at me. I think this is probably the biggest obstacle I’ve ever had to face. Almost killing somebody that is, not that my crush hates me: although that is a juicy addition.
“I think it’s time for you to go,” Jennifer says from the bed, awkwardly ushering me away. “Thank you for your offer of help. I may have to take you up on that.”
My throat is dry but I swallow anyway. “It’s the least I could do.”
<><><><><>
As I make my way back down the stairs, I realise the situation actually went a lot better than I was expecting. I’m so grateful for that, but at the same time it felt right to have Jesse glaring at me. I deserve to be glared at, and if anything, the fact that Jennifer was so nice to me has only fuelled my determination to make it up to her. I’ll come back tomorrow to see if she needs anything, that’s a promise. I let out a deep sigh, suddenly feeling so weary that I could collapse right here on the stairs and cry. I don’t feel like going home and facing my mother just yet. Her reaction yesterday was even worse than Jennifer’s. My mom hugged me.
At first I was so surprised that my mother was hugging me after I told her I’d almost killed someone that I kind of stiffened. When I asked her why she was doing that, she replied that it was her job to love her daughter no matter what she’s done, and that I needed the support. She told me that if she’s raised me right, then I’ll feel guilty enough already about the accident and I won’t need her yelling at me on top of that. Then she hugged me again, and I collapsed into her arms: the weight of the day crashing down on me in hours of tears. I love my mom so much, and I’d hate anybody who ever hurt her. I guess that’s why I see where Jesse is coming from so much.
I frown again and step into the hallway, reaching for my shoes by the door. A chilling voice freezes me in my tracks.
“Lois.”
I gulp and straighten up, looking over at Jesse. He’s staring intensely at me from the doorway of the kitchen, leant casually on the frame whilst his expression tells a whole other story.
“Y-yeah?”
“You could’ve killed her. Do you realise that?”
The words hit me straight in the heart and I droop my head ashamedly. “Jesse I’m so sorr-“
“Don’t say that. Sometimes sorry isn’t enough Lois and you know it,” He takes a few steps towards me, eyes burning with emotion. “Lois you could have killed her,” He persists. “You would’ve torn a family apart, taken a life from an innocent woman. You’re telling me you’re sorry? When you were that close to ripping my whole life apart for some stupid mistake?”
“I know it’s not much,” I close my eyes to avoid him staring at me. I deserve what he’s telling me, but that doesn’t mean in any way that I enjoy it. “It’s not much and it’s certainly not enough, but I’m going to do more. I’m not going to stop until I’ve made up for it. Whenever she needs the slightest bit of help, I’ll be there. That is my promise, and it may not be enough for you, but I’ll do whatever it takes okay? I can’t reverse time, and if I could then I would in a heartbeat, but it’s already happened. Now it’s all I can do to say that I’ll pay for any expenses, and I’ll make it up to her somehow.”
“What about me?” Jesse asks quietly. “How are you ever going to make it up to me?”
I bite my lip. “I’ll somehow make it up to you as well, Jesse. Just you tell me a way. It was my mistake and I’m taking full responsibility for it. You can hate me,” My voice turns raw, “But you will never compare to how much I hate myself for what happened.”
“Good. You should hate yourself.” Jesse’s eyes don’t glare at me anymore. He’s emotionless, stony and somehow that’s even worse. He nods stiffly, before turning back to the kitchen.
I slip my shoes on hastily, desperate to leave now. My cheeks burn and I’m struggling not to cry- I refuse to act like I’m the one who’s been hurt in front of Jesse. If I can do anything for him, it’s to stop feeling sorry for myself and start working a little harder to make it up to Jennifer.
“And Lois?” He calls again, just as I’m ready to leave the door handle. His back is still turned, as if he’s disgusted to even look at me.
“Yes?”
“Don’t come back again tomorrow.”
I purse my lips and swing open the door. I’ll come back tomorrow whatever he says. How does he ever expect me to make it up to her if I don’t?
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GETTING ME TO 50K READS, NUMBER #23 IN ROMANCE. YOU'VE MADE ME SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY! I've updated early to thank you for that :) The next update will be on Friday as usual!
Lots of love and chocolate chips, Lauren xx :)