Chapter 45 - Don't Listen to a Word I Say
"I got you I got you, I promise Baby I didn't mean it I promise."
That's all I hear, it's on repeat in my head, like a boomerang.
Back.
Forth.
Back.
Forth.
Back.
Forth.
Oh god I need to breathe.
I sit up quickly, gasping for air as I lay in a bed. My breathing is heavy as I stare out the window. The wide window in front of me that just shows white.
I blink a few more times, my head pounding as my eyes get used to the brightness. They readjust, and I know where I am.
The view in front of me is Mt Salutos hill, the view I get when I wake up at rivers house.
WAS IT A DREAM.
please be a dream please be a dream I can't lose Kingston, please....
But it wasn't a dream. I feel the fingernail cuts deep into arms, a few on my hands and throat. Tears form in my eyes as they fall, over and over and I can't stop them.
It's like I'm in a boomerang again as everything just comes back to me. Kingston's words, everything that happened.
My stomach churns and my sheet hurts as I ball, I hear a groan next to me as a hand falls on my knee, "Shes up!!" They yell but it feels like a monotone screams that echoes all over my mind like a baby toy, rattling.
I look up, blinking before I see I'm better view the person who put their hand in my knee.
"HELP! HELP ME!" I scream as everything I was thinking of disappears and fight or flight mode kicks in.
It's Kingston, and when I scream he backs up immediately, his eyes showing pure emotion again but god I don't want to see them. I don't want to see him again. I don't want those eyes dug into my life, I don't want to know what happened I just want it to be over.
Footsteps come stomping up the stairs immediately, some voices radiating from out the door as I fall off the bed, crawling backwards on my knee, my eyes shut closed as tight as possible.
"Please go! Please go away! I just want it to be over! It was supposed to be over-" I scream at him as something comes at me from behind.
I back away, opening my eyes to see Melanie. "Go away! I want it to be over! Please make it over please!" I scream as somebody picks me up form my waist, I kick my legs and scream but nothing happens. "WHY IS SHE ALLOWED HERE?!" I scream but even they just... nothing is happening.
"Please!!" I say as I calm down, my eyes drooping but finally open as I see Reid in front of me. "Reid!" I scream, finally trusting somebody as whoever let's me out of their arms and I run towards him.
I grab onto his arms as I look up at him with hope, wanting to leave. I wasn't safe here. I don't care if I was scaring everybody they deserve it.
So what if I'm a monster to them I should be dead.
I wanna be dead.
I look up at Reid, my voice calming down as I look at him and give him a sad smile. "You didn't know, right?" I say as I take deep breaths, goosebumps all over me.
He doesn't answer me.
"You didn't know right?!" I ask again and he swallows, trying to grab my arms but missing as he softly says, "Summer, listen..."
"No!" I scream as I back up slowly, "You all knew didn't you!" I scream and Mel hisses, "What? Knew what?!" To which I scoff, "Don't act all fucking innocent! You looked at me this morning and acted like you didn't fuck Kingston after you knew how I felt! Why are you still here!" I scream and they don't have a response, everybody is speechless.
"Well it's obvious they chose me over you right now, huh you bitch?" She asks, her long red hair tied up behind her back as something flashes in Miahs eyes.
"Get out!" She screams at Mel. "What? Miah you're on my side-"
"No the fuck I'm not! When I went shopping for my prom dress with you guys and found one I loved Summer looked at me with pure happiness and said. Wow! You looks so beautiful! And you said Oh I don't know she looks a little fat. Oh and that's just one time. When you guys went over to my house to have a sleepover guess who didn't fuck my brother? Guess Melanie!" She screams and Melanie seems taken aback.
"Leave. That was the last straw. I promise you I'll fuck up Kingston but he gets another chance because I know he's a good person. It's impossible to get that form you. Leave."
And she does.
They're all scared as I back up into someone, I turn around to see who it is but he grabs me and pins me to the wall, my arms to the sides of my face and my legs pinned by his.
It's Kingston.
"Let go!" I scream, my vision blurry as I can't see anything, my head pounding.
"No."
"Let go!"
"Stop moving, Darling!" Kingston screams and I go limp, my body giving in as I stare at the ground, my tears falling and falling until my eyes are dry.
"Let go..." I say slowly as my voice travels into abyss.
"That was two days ago, Summer. You we're missing for a day before I found you with my dad, and you've been unconscious for a day."
"Stop." I say and he sighs, "I'm not lying."
Even if my eyes are dry I still sob, looking up at him for the first time, his eyes full of sadness and pain as he gets goosebumps on his arms.
"Why?" I ask in a sob and he swallows, "I'm sorry, Baby. I'm so sorry." He says and I slowly slip my hands out from under his, but I don't hit him, I don't run and smash things.
I wrap my arms around him tightly and cry, "I love you.." I cry and he kisses the top of my head, his arms wrapping around me, like I'm his whole world.
"Please.. just let me hug you one more time." I say and he picks me up, his head going in the crook of my neck as he whispers. "Please don't make this the last time."
"Why don't you love me..?" I sob, collapsing into his arms.
"I do baby! I do I promise!"
But I don't answer, I just hold on. I know what he did. But just for a second I want to pretend like I don't. Like my world didn't just crash around me. Like I am allowed to be happy.
"I want it to be over." I mumble and he takes a shaky breath out. "Please don't say that, you're all I have. You're my everything."
But that's my cue, I jump out of his arms, twisting around him and backing up. "No I'm not." I say, shaking my head. "You have everybody in this room, who you made it clear you loved more. You have everybody in this town. They know who you are. The star football and basketball player, Kingston Brag who got a scholarship to NYU."
I feel sick as I look at my feet.
"Summer. When you told him to shoot.. you didn't get shot, he did. I called 911 right as I was gonna walk in, and I didn't tell them anything. But they heard it all. They looked at every possible way they could get in and get him away from you. For the safety of me and you, they shot him and the two guards through the small upper right corner window. You fell with them and went unconscious."
I'm silent.
"You know how he told me to do what he taught me? Well what he taught me was to stand still and confident, and act like I'm the only thing that mattered. He whispered in my ear when he wrapped his arm around my neck that if I made you hate every single piece of me then he'd let us both go. He knew how to get you angry, but I knew how to make you hate me." He takes a pause as he walks closer to me.
"Yes, my mission was true and the thing between me and Melanie was true. But I promise everything else was a lie!" He says sadly as I pull my hands into fists.
"Tell me King... when was it girl over business and when was it business over girl?" I ask and he swallows, but no reply.
"Okay let me rephrase this for you, HOW DID YOU PLAN TO KILL ME, KINGSTON!?" I scream and the girls gasp. Reid walks over to Miah and whispers,!explaining things that not long ago I didn't know either.
"FOR HOW LONG DID YOU WANT TO KILL ME?" I ask again and his eyes fill with tears. "I promise I never was actually going to!"
"Oh because we all make deals with the devil for fun, huh?" I ask sarcastically as he walks towards me, "because if you don't get me she will I promise you that."
"I'll protect you." He says, his voice making evidence of his sadness.
"Not if I have any choice." I say shaking my head and he scoffs, "Why is that? Because you wanna die?"
"It's because I can't trust the people I thought I could! God what am I supposed to do? Everything's a mess. I just wanted somebody to love me for once! Unconditionally! But you and the guys all knew what was gonna happen. You were gonna kill me, Kingston! I can't even look you in the eye anymore and I hate it because I still love you. Those feelings don't just go away but I wish they did Because yours weren't ever real! You got to let yours go why can't I?" I say as I dizzily Step back.
"Because I trying to tell you I love you! I've always loved you and that was never a lie!"
"You did this Kingston. Why? Why do I not matter to you?"
"Yes you do, you do baby you're everything to me please believe me."
"How? How do I believe you anymore?" I ask as my face finally looks at his again.
"Just try, I'll win you and your trust back I can do it. I know I can. I'll wait, baby. I'll wait until you trust me again."
"I don't..." I start but I blink a few times to get my bison less blurry, "I don't know if I can wait for that to happen. All I see when I look at you is you telling me you were gonna kill me. Am I that easy to hate? To beat up? And you knew people were dying and you were apart of that business? And you didn't tell me.."
"I was going to tell you I was just scared because I knew that you would find out one day and that you would I leave me." He says, grabbing onto my hand but I snatch it back.
I can't speak, my voice stopped working as I gasp for air but he can't hear me.
Nobody can hear me.
"I took the offer from Halo because I knew I got a reason to talk to you, to follow you, to kiss you, but as soon as you smiled at me... it was all over. I also took it to get a reason to stop... to pretend like I'm working when I was with you. It was girl over business before my business started." He says and I can sense the truth in his voice.
But I can't do this right now.
And I push out the only thing I can say.
"It hurts..."
Kingston comes to grab me as I fall to my knees but Miah comes over, grabbing me and pulling me over to the bed.
"I think you guys should leave." She mumbles and they do as told.