December 20th.
Maddie's POV:
Via Instagram:
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madisonvoyage: i most definitely love it here.
billieeilish: you're cute as fuck
claudiasulewski: too cute
There's nothing to do today, I wanna talk to Claudia. Because while we were on tour, she mentioned that she had an opportunity to have a clothing line with Nordstrom. I wanted to see if she wanted to collab, because I don't wanna create my own line, I just don't have ideas right now.
Billie: "What are you doing today?"
Maddie: "I have a meeting with Claudia."
Billie: "What about?"
Maddie: "Clothing line for Nordstrom."
Billie: "Really?"
Maddie: "I wanted to see if she wanted to collab because I just don't have ideas right now."
Billie: "Do you feel drained?"
Maddie: "No, I just don't feel creative."
Billie: "You feel okay?"
Maddie: "Yeah." She looked at me, to see if I was lying and I wasn't
Billie: "Okay."
Maddie: "What are you doing today?"
Billie: "Literally fucking nothing."
Maddie: "You really have nothing to do?"
Billie: "Nope, I have hella interviews next week though."
Maddie: "Fuck, next week is Christmas."
Billie: "It really is."
Maddie: "I have your gift, it's nowhere near as good as your birthday present. But like, it's still a good gift."
Billie: "Your gifts are always good."
Maddie: "I know."
I got ready, it was already two and I've gotten nothing accomplished.
FaceTiming Claud's:
Claudia: "Hey babe! What's up?"
Maddie: "I was wondering, if you wanted to come over and discuss something?"
Claudia: "Yeah, I'll be there in about an hour."
Maddie: "Okay, I love you."
Claudia: "I love you too."
Call Ended.
Billie and Milo were laying on the couch, I was editing a sponsored portion of the next video. I decided that I'm going to be out of the country a lot next month, so I need to know what's going to get filmed and when it's going to get uploaded.
Billie: "Shorty!"
Maddie: "Yes."
Billie: "Is Milo gonna get bigger?" I looked over at her, and she was playing with Milo's paws.
Maddie: "Little bit bigger."
Billie: "How old is she?"
Maddie: "Like 6 months."
Billie nodded and kissed the top of Milo's head, Milo loves attention and I don't blame her. I love attention too, I laughed at my thought and went back to editing.
I was deep into editing my video, and there was a knock on my door. I got up and I walked over to it, it was Claudia.
Claudia: "Hi Maddie! How was your day?"
Maddie: "It's been good, I've just been editing."
Claudia walked father into my house, Milo was still in Billie's arms and could not care less who was here.
We ended up sitting at the island and I had my laptop open. Before I started speaking, Billie came over and stood next to me. She was watching what were doing, her phone dinged and I watched her face change. She pulled her lips between her teeth.
Billie: "Finneas wants me to record some background vocals for everything i wanted. I'll see you later, I love you."
Maddie: "I love you too."
I watched her say goodbye to Milo, once I knew she out of the house. I pulled out my phone and texted Finneas.
Finneas🙃:
did you text Billie?
No, why?
no reason, thank you.
Read at 3:50P.M.
Maddie: "I knew she was fucking lying."
Claudia: "What do you mean?"
Maddie: "She bit her lip, she lied. She said that Finneas wanted to record vocals for everything i wanted. Finneas said that he didn't text her. I'll be back, I have to make a phone call."
I rushed up the stairs, and I went into my bathroom. I sat on the counter as I ran my hand through my hair.
Calling Isaac.
Maddie: "Please answer."
After a couple more rings, he picked up.
Isaac: "Yo."
Maddie: "I will bet you every last cent in my bank account that she's with him right now."
Isaac: "How do you know this?"
Maddie: "She said that she was going to meet with Finneas, I texted Finneas and he said that he didn't text her. Do you wanna know why I believe Finneas over her?"
Isaac: "Why?"
Maddie: "I know Billie's lying tics, she never shows them because she doesn't lie. But when she does lie, she's not good at it."
Isaac: "Why would she be with him?"
Maddie: "That's why I called your bitchass. What do I do?"
Isaac: "Don't do anything, when she comes home. You have to be mad at her."
Maddie: "I can't."
Isaac: "If you don't get mad at her, she will not see your point and she will fall into his trap. I'mma predict it right now, you're gonna get mad at her, she's feel incredibly horrible. She'll hang out with him again in like a week, cut things off and everything will be fine."
Maddie: "If you're wrong, I swear to god I'll never let you see my dog."
Isaac: "Okay, okay, okay. Understandable."
Maddie: "I love you, I'll keep you updated."
Isaac: "I love you too."
Call Ended.
I walked back downstairs and Claudia is scrolling through her phone, she looked over at me and gave me a sympathetic smile.
Maddie: "Don't look at me like that." I playfully laughed.
Claudia: "Are you okay?"
Maddie: "Mhm, I know what I need to do."
Claudia: "What do you need to do?"
Maddie: "I need to get mad at her."
Claudia looked at me.
Maddie: "I have to let her know that this is getting to me, even though it's not. Billie was understanding when I fucked up, when I lied to her. She heard me out, and I know that's what she expects me to do. But I'm not going to, if I let her keep doing this, then she'll fall for his trap and end up and hurt. I refuse to deal with her being hurt when I'm able to protect her from being hurt if that makes any type of sense."
Claudia: "It does."
I walked over to the back door, and let Milo out. I walked back over to the island, to get to my point on why Claudia's here.
Maddie: "The reason, I wanted to meet with you today is because I wanted to know if you wanted to collab on a clothing line for Nordstrom. I'm not like forcing you to do anything, Billie made this list of things that I could do to get bigger, and that's what I'm currently doing. I don't feel creative enough to make my own, so I was wondering if you wanted to work together."
Claudia: "I would be happy as hell to work with you."
Maddie: "Really?"
Claudia: "Yes dude, are you kidding? What was an idea you had for line?"
Maddie: "Well, like a week ago, I was looking about the tour pictures. I was like, it would be hella fun to create a line that you could wear no matter where you are you looked like you belonged but you still stood out."
Claudia: "I like that, but what if we took it, and made it to where our color pallets bounce off of each other. You have a very bold and bright color pallet, because you are that bitch. But mine on the other hand is very calm and laid back, say like you create this bomb ass two piece set, and then you pair with my not so bold shoes."
Maddie: "Yeah, I like that."
Claudia: "Or say we swap roles, and you create like chill set and then like my boots would be the statement piece."
Maddie: "I like where this is going, I'll design some pieces, you design some pieces, we'll meet again next week."
Claudia: "Say less, it was nice working with you."
She got up and walked towards the door, I can't wait to work with her. She has a nice mindset and I like it. We talked for about two hours, it's now 8. Billie should be coming back any minute, I have to act bothered.
I was designing a piece for line, and I had my AirPods in. I was thinking of a way, that I could really get to her. I heard the garage door open, and I unlocked my phone and had Finneas' and I's texts open. She'll walk in and she'll see it, she'll immediately feel guilty and from there it's whatever.
Milo of course rushed over to her, and it made my heart flutter.
Billie: "Hi mamas! How are you?" I heard her keys hit the table.
Billie: "Shorty!"
I didn't respond, all I did was click my phone screen so it wouldn't turn off. I could see her read it out of the corner of my eye, and guilt spread across her face.
Maddie: "So we lying now?"
She didn't respond.
Maddie: "Trying to come with a way to hide your lies?"
I'm hurting myself in this situation and I will be going to hell for it, but we're all going there it's fine.
Billie: "I can explain dude."
Maddie: "I would love to hear it." I took my AirPods out and I closed my laptop, and gave her my full attention. I could tell that caught her by surprise.
She exhaled and sat on the stool next to me, her leg was shaking up and down. I wanted to put my hand on her thigh so bad, but I resisted.
Billie: "I don't know what to say, all I can I say is that I did lie."
Maddie "And you were with him."
Her eyes went wide, she didn't know I knew that.
Billie: "What makes you say-"
Maddie: "Are you really about to try to lie to me again?! He was going to show up to your birthday party, you knew about this."
She exhaled sharply.
Billie: "I did, I knew everything. Because he keeps texting me and he won't get off my ass."
Maddie: "How hard is it to push a button that says block?"
Billie: "Block Nicole right fucking now."
Maddie: "You really wanna play that card babe? Block Kylie. Got anyone else for me to block?"
I feel so bad, but low-key I do have a point.
Billie: "It doesn't matter, I haven't talked to Kylie in months, since dance ended."
Maddie: "I haven't talked to Nicole in months!" I unlocked my phone and handed her my phone, and showed her my conversation with her. "Block her while you're there too, see if that affects me."
Billie: "Shorty, that's not what I'm saying." She pushed my phone towards me, "You blew me off, to go fix shit with Nicole, that hurt the fuck outta me and yet I still heard you out. Anyone else would've left you, but I stayed-"
Maddie: "Oh okay, you stayed because I was broken. You're only still here because it would break me and you couldn't live with that. You're still here because of the public eye." I'm hurt now.
Billie: "What the fuck are you talking about? I'm still here because I love you, I don't care what the public thinks, I thought I made that clear. I didn't stay because you were broken. I stayed because you deserve to be loved. You still deserved to be loved."
Maddie: "I don't know what to do."
She looked at me.
I might be hurt, but I'm not hurt enough. I could take more, maybe I could fake some tears. I'm really going to hell.
Billie: "My point is, I heard you out when you broke me. Hear me out."
Maddie: "How did I break you? What did you think happened? You thought I slept with her? You thought I broke your trust?"
Billie: "You were mad at me at the time, then I see you meeting with her, I thought you didn't want me anymore!" Tears are now streaming down her face, I wanna cave so badly.
Maddie: "I hurt you."
Billie: "No, shorty, don't pin this on yourself."
Maddie: "But I hurt you."
Billie: "I hurt you! And myself! If you knew the pain that he caused you would call me a dumbass for going with him. I hurt myself because I don't wanna be in that situation again, I hurt you because- fuck, just look at you."
Maddie: "You didn't have to lie to me."
Billie: "Who told you about my birthday party?"
Maddie: "Not important."
Billie: "Dani?"
I didn't respond.
Billie: "Eli?"
I didn't budge.
Billie: "Isaac?"
Maddie: "Everyone knew about this but me?"
Billie: "You're the only one I care about, I was trying to protect your feelings. But I didn't protect your feelings, I just hurt them."
Maddie: "This makes me feel like a dumbass."
Billie: "What do you mean?"
Maddie: "I met with Nicole, I hurt you and I didn't understand your pain. But now I do, but it's not the same, because I know you still want me."
Billie: "Damn right, I still want you."
Maddie: "Why did you meet with him?"
Billie: "To get him off my dick and it didn't work, I told him that I didn't wanna be in his life but he's good at playing-"
Maddie: "Mind games and he's manipulative."
She nodded.
Billie: "Shorty, I'm sorry for lying, and I'm sorry for hurting you." She reached for my hand and I let her take it, when do I tell I'm not really mad though?
Maddie: "I accept your apology, I think. I just wish you didn't lie, because you're not good at it. You're good at a lot of things, but that's not one of them."
She laughed lightly.
Maddie: "There's your smile."
Billie: "I love you."
Maddie: "I love you too."
Billie: "I'm still going to tell you what happened, but I'm not going to do it all at once, I have no clue how the fuck you did that. But I can't do that to myself. I met him like two years ago, I was a different person back then. I didn't care about anyone, I didn't do feelings, I didn't do relationships, I hated the idea of commitment. I tried for him, and deadass I wish I didn't."
Maddie: "Why did you try for him?"
Billie: "Because I... I cared about him, I didn't wanna hurt him. This sounds bad, but I really should've."
Maddie: "If you tried for him, why did you try for me? You weren't paranoid at all."
Billie: "I knew you were hurt, and I knew you wouldn't hurt me because you know what it was like."
Maddie: "Makes sense, I'm sorry that this happened to you, and I'm sorry for getting mad at you when I didn't know the full story."
Billie: "You have a right to be mad, I lied to you. I'm sorry."
I placed my hand on her thigh and she put her hand over mine and gave me a smile.
Billie: "I really don't deserve you."
Maddie: "You do though."
She smiled.
Billie: "I love you."
Maddie: "I love you."
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i really did billie dirty, but that's okay.
this is only the start of this situation 😂
thanks ily
words: 2540.