I wake up. A new day, a fresh start to start something new. A fresh new happiness to life. That's what I thought, this week was gonna be shitty. I didn't even know it, that's not the worse part. I didn't even hate myself, congrats me.
Brushing my teeth and smiling saying what a great day this will be. Like all the rest I'll have a good day, I smile at my mom and get ready to walk to school, she smiles back and I give my dad a kiss. We say our words,
"have a good day at school, love you" he says with the utmost kindness.
" Have a good day at work, love you too" I say gently.
The sounds of my mom and dad laughing and talking filled the room as I left. The love was intimidating, I wanted that. Everyone does.
I skipped my way out the door and took the long way, taking in all the fresh air. The beautiful birds chirp and the neighbors dogs bark. I hear the kids yelling louder and louder as I get near, then it's him, I look at him.
His beautiful blue eyes, smooth blonde hair, his goofy expressions. He turns his head to me as I draw near, giving him a smile. He returns the gesture. Ah, Andrew, he's such a kind person, but I can't hangout with him because of his strict parents.
"Morning! What's up! It sucks we can't text or anything, but it would be nice if we could." He says with a hint of flattery.
I flirt back saying, " haha, I just need your number unless your parents don't let you have a phone."
He shrugs with a smile as we head onto the bus, he then starts a conversation, saying " Did you hear? There's gonna be a new kid, Dante I believe."
I shake my head and we sit in silence the rest of the way, I would talk more but I'm awkward around guys I like. Which he's not the most popular guy in school, but he's cute. He's got a good personality as well. So it's ok. We finally get there after what feels like a couple seconds and I hear whispers fly around like a pandemic. I put my head down, ignoring them all, I'm used to it after all. I'm not so popular either, it's ok though. I look at Andrew thinking about asking him what they're talking about, but it's not like he'll know. I shake my head at the whispers, but still listening I hear our names. Andrew.... omg yes!!!! Andrewww...... Nicoleee.....
I assume it's the usually gossip, people think we'd look together because we're both weird. Connecting our eyes together as though he can read my mind, he laughs, then we both laugh. I head to my class with pep in my step but as I enter, eyes lock onto me. All of them, each individual eye. One eye, two eye, six eye, fourteen eye. I run over to my friend group filled with mostly girls. I hug my friend named Julie, she's a blonde headed girl with bright blue eyes. Odly big head crammed with the thoughts of, I'm on top because I'm the smartest. She's a bit shorter than me but not by a lot. She has a skater type of style, giving off the vibe, I think I'm better than everyone because I wore a beanie this one time. I look over to Keke and she's a very tall girl, thick short hair with the look on her face, she's here, again? Who invited her, not I. She stands like she also owns the place, I don't like her very much because she's annoying. But can't be a hypocrite because we all are. Keke has a style that is like I woke up like this bitch. What about it? While at the same time she's trying so very hard for her crush to notice her. Then we have Jen. Ah Jen, she's the most chill in the group. She has an emo type style with, drinking coffee is a lifestyle, and I wanna be emo but I only have enough money for fish nets. She skateboards and got me into it, I'm not the best but it's pretty fun once you get the hold on it. Then we have Andrew, my dream boy. And kane, he's the class clown and everyone agrees. Even the teacher. He gives off the vibe off o, o!! Look at me! I don't get enough attention at home so here I am! Right here! Please. But we all love him. He just dresses in whatever he finds. He reeks of cologne though. After looking at them Andrew and Kane leave to chat with their other guy friends leaving me alone with these girls.
Then I ask, "what's with all the stares, it's like I'm a celeb today."
Keke then says," you guys are the gossip of the year! You guys are finally together! I knew it would happen!" With excitement and the stares of the other two looking at me with the same excitement.
I look at them trying to figure what their saying. Who are they talking about?
I ask them, puzzled "Who are you guys talking about?"
They look at each other like I was crazy. Jen then said," Andrew obviously idiot!"
I look at them in disbelief, this is probably just one of those stupid rumors. I laugh awkwardly and I go over to Andrew.
"Hey we need to talk." I demand
"What's up?" He questions me.
What a weirdo no way this is true. Nope. No.
"Did you uh, tell people we were, haha uh, dating?"
He looks at me with a surprised face and a hesitant mouth. He then says, "duh, we are."
I look at him in disbelief, what was he talking about?
"What are you talking about?" I interrogate.
"Well you confessed to me and I didn't decline for a second remember?" He says with confidence.
I look at him, stare into his eyes. What? Is he serious? He is isn't he? I shake my head but then say, "I really like you so I'll let it slide but, next time you do dumb shit like this again I won't forgive you." Yes you will Nicole. I walk away and continue my conversation with the girls and think about that. He also liked me, was he afraid of rejection? I go on with my day, not being able to dismiss it. Every time I think about it, I blush. Harder and harder. I slap my face with cold water to get my mind off him. Near the end of the day as I'm getting my bag ready to go, I feel a arm go over my shoulder and I look to my left and it's Andrew. Of course. Damn, I love him don't I?
We hung out everyday, until our parents got annoyed at that. A day we're we're hanging out I overheard a conversation about Dante.
"Did you hear he broke into a house and stole soda? Crazy right?" My mom says with corruption.
"He's black, all his family and brothers. Let me tell you. He's not right for this town." Andrew's mother says.
I walk to my room where Andrew lay in my bed. Shocked from what I heard. Racist. I've never seen a black man in the flesh besides from history. I don't see the difference between them and us, besides their black and we're white. But because we're white we think we own everything, typical white moms I guess.
We spend most of our time together. Nothing happened besides love. Love. Hate. Love. I love him.
Couple of months later
The next day I see a very tall black guy, kinda cute but maybe not my type. He stunk of skunk and onions. I saw him talking to the rich popular girl. Naomi, he's giving her a teddy bear. Wow, smooth. She declines and rolls her eyes, walking away. I hear more whispers, not about me and Andrew but about the tall man and Naomi.
Dante's so weird!!..... the fifth time he's tried, really?..... he needs to stay in his lane... he doesn't know his place because he's black!!... did you hear about him and his brothers?....
So that's Dante. Tried to give her something five different times? Just accept it, accept the fact that you got rejected. But we're all different, I guess. As Dante and I cross paths it feels as if time stops as he glares into my eyes. A shiver goes up my spine, his eyes look dead. Looks like he has nothing or only one thing to live for. He smiles at me and I smile back. Weird. That was, weird. Yes that was Nicole. I flip my hair getting a bad feeling. Then when I get to my class, everyone stares. Everyone. They look at me with despair. With hope. I go over to Keke and ask what happened. She looks at me, to Andrew, and back.
"Everyone heard about the breakup, that must suck. I'm sorry." She said sounding as if someone had just died.
I look at her confused. It clicked. I stomp over to Andrew clenching my hands. I look at him with a deadly glare and say,
"What this time? What did you say" I say to him hopeful but not so much at the same time.
"What are you talking about? Why are you still talking to me?" He says with disgust and confusion.
I look at him like he was joking, no a joke.
"Did you tell everyone we broke up? Huh?"
"Yes because we did?" He says nonchalant
I look at him, looking at him. Trying to figure him out. What was the goal to this? I try not to yell at him but cry. Slowly, painfully. He looks at me with grief trying to go in for a hug, I slap him as hard as I can like Zeus with his lighting bolts. I run out of the room with the teacher asking where I'm going, ruining into a smelly tall man. I fall down and cut my finger on something that had fell. I look up and it's Dante. He gives me a warm smile, a what's wrong and makes my day. I go in for a hug and he grips me closer, and closer. I sob into his shirt, slowly.
Idiot.